Parents are the first educators of a child. In the family, kids get acquainted with the rules of human relationships, learn life attitudes, spiritual values. Relationships between parents and children have a huge impact on the formation of personality, which is why they receive so much attention in psychology.

History of study

The first direction that began to talk about the influence of the family on the development of the child's personality was classical psychoanalysis. B. Bowlby and M. Ainsworth developed the "attachment theory". According to her, people who care for a baby give him a sense of the reliability and security of the world. This creates the basis for further development, the inclusion of the child in social life society. The baby realizes himself through the prism of relationships of close people. These ideas, formed at an early age, largely determine the behavior of an adult.

Family relationships in which, one way or another, the child is involved, are called parent-child relationships. Not always they influence the formation of personality positively. The law clearly defines the responsibilities of parents and children. In particular, the father and mother are prohibited from causing mental or physical harm to the health of the child. However, in practice, not all adults are able to effectively interact with children.

The study of the characteristics of child-parent relationships was carried out by various scientists in order to identify the conditions necessary for the formation of a healthy personality.

Classifications

Relationships between children and parents can develop in different ways depending on many factors. It is important to study them both from the point of view of an adult and from the position of a child. Psychologists distinguish the following types of relationships between parents and their children:

• Unconditional acceptance, when the negative behavior of the offspring does not entail a denial of its significance ("I love you, although you are now behaving badly"). This attitude creates confidence in the child's safety.
• Conditional acceptance, when the love of parents is a reward for success, good behavior, obedience. Children in such a family grow up anxious, because they constantly have to earn the love of mom and dad.
• ambivalent attitude. Parents have opposite feelings for the child. They are characterized by a high level of aggression, the baby is subjected to cruel punishments. The rest of the time, adults try to redeem themselves by showing exaggerated care and attention.
• An indifferent attitude, when adults do not feel love for children, are indifferent, cold and try to distance themselves from them.
• Latent rejection. Formally, parents regularly perform their duties, but at the same time they are constantly dissatisfied with the child, ignoring his feelings.
• Open rejection. The parent actively demonstrates his dislike for the baby, humiliates his dignity, applies cruel punishments, and neglects children's needs.

G. T. Khomentauskas studied the types of relations between a child and his parents. He identified 4 positions:

1. "You love me and I love you." The child trusts parents, is attached to them, strives for cooperation.
2. "Mom and dad live for me." The child has high self-esteem, he is selfish and tries to control other family members.
3. "I will make my parents love me." The child feels rejected, inferior and tries with all his might to please adults.
4. "You don't need me, get away from me." The child does not feel the love and care of parents, shows hostility towards them.

relations

Adults turn to a psychologist when they have problems in relationships with children or the child has difficulties in communication and learning. Most often, the help of specialists is needed by the family as a whole. Understanding the cause of tension helps

Families have different ideas about the responsibilities of parents and children. Adults adhere to dissimilar communication styles and methods of influencing the younger generation. The psychologist tries to see the problem from two sides, studying the position of both the parents and the child. For this, various methods developed by both domestic and foreign specialists are used.

Work with children

To see, special techniques are used. The study takes place in a relaxed, playful environment. Most commonly used:

• Methodology R. Gilles, allowing you to understand the attitude of children to the family environment. The child is invited to look at the pictures, which depict people in different situations, and choose their place.
• The test of Bene and Anthony, adapted by Russian psychologists Leaders and Anisimova. He diagnoses emotional relationships within the family. Children are offered 20 figures, from which they need to select their relatives, and then, in a playful way, correlate the proposed statements with them.
• Questionnaires of Shafer, Markovskaya, etc., where the teenager needs to assess the degree of fidelity of these provisions.
• The method of A.I. Zarov, which reveals the degree of identification of the child with mom and dad, as well as the peculiarities of the attitude towards them.

Diagnosis of parent-child relationships also includes the CRS test. The child is invited to draw a family, and then talk about it. The psychologist carefully studies the location and occupation of the characters, the features of their image, the behavior and emotions of the young artist in the process of work. All this allows you to understand how children perceive and their place in it.

Working with parents

It is important for a psychologist to identify upbringing, the causes of deviations. To do this, he offers adults to pass various tests. Child-parent relationships can be assessed using the following questionnaires:

• PARI (Schafer, Bell). It allows you to make a portrait of the family in the primary approximation.
• DIA (Eidemiller, Justickis). It can be used to identify psychological disorders in the family.
• ORO (Stolin, Varga). This test gives an idea of ​​parental feelings and behavior patterns.
• Adult version of the Markovskaya questionnaire. Its main advantage is mirroring, thanks to which you can see the interaction in the family through the eyes of both parents and the child.

An effective, but difficult to implement, technique was developed by A. O. Karabanova. Adults are invited to write the history of their motherhood or fatherhood in a free form, to independently assess the successes and failures in this field. As a result, the author's position on parent-child relations becomes clear.

The methodology was subsequently simplified. Adults more readily took up the continuation of unfinished phrases about the child and their attitude towards him. In this variant, it is often used by psychologists in the diagnostic process.

Types of parenting

After the tests, family characteristics become clear. Psychologists talk about 4 types of upbringing, which are most often found in a mixed form. These include:

• Diktat. Adults suppress the child, actively using violence and orders for education. When resisting, they use threats, deceit, coercion. As a result, children grow up dependent, lack of initiative and unsure of their abilities.
• Guardianship. The child is surrounded by care, they try to satisfy all his desires, they strongly protect him from difficulties. Often this leads to rebellion in adolescence. Becoming adults, such people find themselves defenseless against life's difficulties, they hardly fit into the team.
• Non-intervention. Parents are passive and practically do not participate in the upbringing of the child. From an early age, he is left to himself, solves problems without the help of adults. Such children grow up independent, but they do not know how to trust other people, they feel lonely.
• Cooperation. Parents respect the child as a separate person, allow him to act independently, but at the same time they are always ready to help. Family members support each other and spend a lot of time together. Children with such upbringing grow up self-confident and open to fruitful communication.

Main violations observed in families

Relationships between parents and children who turn to psychologists often turn out to be disharmonious. There are many reasons for this. Nevertheless, the most common problems of child-parent relationships were identified. Here is their list:

1. Hypoprotection. The child is not given enough attention. Adults can reject him like Cinderella, limit themselves only to formal care (food, clothes, textbooks), pay off the offspring expensive gifts. The last option is child neglect.
2. Hyper-care. The child is surrounded by increased care, often they make the idol of the family out of him, fulfill all desires and do not apply punishments. At the same time, adults completely control the life of the offspring, protecting them from difficulties.
3. Contradictory upbringing. Family members make incompatible demands on the child or dramatically change their attitude towards him during a divorce, the birth of a second child, etc.
4. Increased responsibility. Children are given demands that they cannot meet. For example, the child is required to always be ahead of his peers or is entrusted with the care of younger brother after the departure of his father.
5. Cruel treatment. The child is punished for every misconduct, all sorts of vices are attributed to him. In this case, promotion in the family does not apply.
6. The cult of disease. Parents bring up children with diseases in an atmosphere of permissiveness, they try to protect them from any duties. It begins to seem to kids that others should feel sorry for them, fulfill all the whims.
7. Education outside the family. The child lives in a boarding school or with distant relatives, practically not communicating with mom and dad.

Correction methods: work with parents

Psychological help is needed for families in difficult situations. Problems can be caused by external changes ( age crises in children, divorce of parents, death of a loved one) or the individual characteristics of specific people. Correction of child-parent relationships involves creating a favorable climate in the family, teaching adults how to properly communicate with the child.

It is important that they recognize the problem and want to solve it. The psychologist uses various methods in his work. Child-parent relationships can be corrected, but this requires a lot of strength and patience. Most often used:

Adults are taught to accept and support their child. To improve family relationships, parents need to:

• Demonstrate love for the child, pride in him.
• Rely on the strengths of the offspring and not be reminded of past failures.
• Find common activities, more fooling around and laughing with the children.
• Allow the child to independently solve feasible problems, correct the consequences of their mistakes.
• Avoid harsh punishments and criticism.
• Listen and hear children, instill optimism in them, rejoice at the smallest progress.

Corrective work with a child

It is difficult for children to realize the motives of their behavior, to understand what makes parents act one way or another. But their psyche is more plastic. Correction of parent-child relationships allows you to correct the mistakes of upbringing in time and avoid problems during adulthood grown up child.

The psychologist tries to create a relaxed atmosphere in the classroom so that the young client relaxes, begins to freely express his feelings and thoughts. The absence of other family members at the consultation allows you to give an outlet to the repressed conflicts that are present in the child-parent relationship. Techniques that help to do this are listed below:

• Game therapy. With the help of dolls, a child can reproduce situations of communication disturbing him, express anger or fear towards loved ones, realize his feelings. The conditionality of what is happening eliminates negative consequences, removes internal clamps and restrictions.
• Art therapy. Being engaged in creativity, the child is liberated and allows unconscious fears and experiences to come out. With the help of paints, crayons, clay and glue, children express themselves, so it is important to approve the end result of their activity, regardless of its quality.
• Fairy tale therapy. The easiest way to explain a difficult situation to a child is through the adventures of magical characters. The characters go through the same problems as a small client, demonstrate different ways to solve them, and help to look at the situation from an unexpected angle. gently affect the emotions and subconscious of the child, teach him productive ways of behavior.

Correction methods: interaction between a child and an adult

Group activities, in which all family members participate, are very important for building new parent-child relationships. The methods used by psychologists allow you to see from the outside your typical behavior, its impact on loved ones. As a result, there is a desire to correct the situation, to create a warm microclimate in the family.

Psychologists use:

• Art correction, when adults and children paint a joint picture. At the same time, all the main problems in the relationship of family members become apparent. With adults, they need to be analyzed and given a task in the next classes aimed at building a new type of behavior.
• Game communication that allows you to relieve emotional stress. Parents and children become equal partners, begin to understand each other better. The most effective are outdoor games (for example, joint overcoming of an obstacle course), construction from the Lego constructor, sand therapy.
• Body psycho-correction, which allows you to bring the family closer together through massage and special exercises. At the same time, muscle clamps are removed, emotional rapprochement occurs.
• "Hour of the Star". Family members take turns trying on the role of "star". The rest of the participants in the lesson should give the lucky person increased attention, play the games chosen by him, and make pleasant surprises.

The psychology of child-parent relationships is extremely complex. In each case it is required individual approach and the utmost correctness of the specialist providing assistance. Nevertheless, if desired, a way out can be found, even if initially the situation seems to be a dead end.

The development is aimed at solving the following tasks: development of skills and abilities to use technology in the process of raising children and communication; change in attitude to one's own family life and the tasks of education; expansion of knowledge and methods of pedagogical methods of influencing the child.

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Technique for correcting child-parent relationships

"THREE STEPS TOGETHER"

"Take care of each other!

Kindness warm!

Take care of each other,

Let's not offend.

Take care of each other,

Forget the fuss

And in a moment of leisure

Stay close together!”

(O. Vysotskaya)

Today, the importance of full communication between an adult and a child is great. One of the essential aspects of the psychological education of parents is the provision of psychological support to them in the formation of a favorable psychological climate in family.

Favorable relationships between children and adults are the most important factor in the development of the child. When the parent-child relationship is violated, the child experiences frustration, which can lead to various misconduct. Favorable relationships are those in which an adult focuses on the positive aspects and advantages of the child in order to strengthen his self-esteem, helps the child to believe in himself and his abilities, avoid mistakes, supports him in case of failures.

To correct child-parent relationships, psychologists of the MBU of the Gubkinsky urban district "Social and rehabilitation center for minors" developed the "Three steps towards" technique, based on the complex application of active listening techniques, "I" - messages and skills positive thinking.

The purpose of the application of technology:correction of parent-child relationships.

Tasks: development of skills and abilities to use technology in the process of raising children and communication; change in attitude to one's own family life and the tasks of education; expansion of knowledge and methods of pedagogical methods of influencing the child.

The "Three Steps Toward" technique is universal and affordable in its application. Teachers-psychologists of the MBU Gubkinsky urban district "Social and rehabilitation center for minors" conduct group lecture-practical and training sessions using this technique with different age groups different levels of preparedness:

Lecture-practical lesson "Emotional well-being of the family - emotional well-being of the child", which took place on the basis of the MBU "Center for Social Services for Elderly and Disabled Citizens" as part of the project "University of the Third Age. Faculty of volunteer movement”;

Lecture and practical lesson “Communicate with a child. How?”, which took place on the basis of the MBU “Center for Social Services for Elderly and Disabled Citizens” as part of the implementation of the project “University of the Third Age. Faculty of volunteer movement”;

A practical lesson with elements of the training “Learning to think positively”, which took place on the basis of the MBU of the Gubkinsky urban district “Social and rehabilitation center for minors” for women members of the “Union of Mothers of Disabled Children”;

A practical lesson with elements of the training “Learning to think positively”, which took place on the basis of the MBU of the Gubkinsky urban district “Social and rehabilitation center for minors” as part of the social psychological and pedagogical support service for parents “School for Parents”;

Lecture and practical lesson "Learning to communicate", which took place on the basis of the MBUK "Central Library System No. 1" of the Gubkinsky urban district for veteran teachers of the "Inspiration" club;

- lecture-practical lesson "Prevention of burnout syndrome in professional activity through the development of positive thinking” within the framework of the project"Let's save childhood - save old age" at the workshop "Prevention of burnout syndrome in specialists social institutions”on the basis of the MBU of the Gubkinsky urban district “Social and rehabilitation center for minors”.

Also, the “Three Steps Toward” technique is actively used by educational psychologists in individual classes held as part of a counseling center for families with underage children, and as part of the program to support foster families.

Speaking about the results of work on the prevention and correction of child-parent relationships, we present the following data for 2013:

Of the 10 families who applied to the advisory center for the correction of child-parent relationships (at early stages detection) in 8 families, parent-child relations were established, mutual understanding improved, there were no repeated appeals to a teacher-psychologist.

Of the 5 families who applied as part of the program to support foster families, 4 families established parent-child relationships, and there were no repeated requests to a teacher-psychologist.

The high level of work efficiency in these areas can be explained by the motivation of parents to change the situation in the family, their interest in following the recommendations of a teacher-psychologist.

Of the 7 families selected by us, with whom the complex program of the center was implemented, in 4 families parent-child relations were established, which is confirmed by the results of the final diagnostics.

I would also like to note that positive feedback on the work to prevent violations of child-parent relationships was left by women members of the Union of Mothers of Disabled Children.

Step 1. Active listening.

It is much more pleasant for each person to communicate with an interlocutor who knows how to listen, and not just speak beautifully. All studies have shown that only ten percent of people can listen to their interlocutor. Each person wants to see in his interlocutor a friendly and attentive listener who happily supports the conversation.

In psychology, a wonderful way was found to help the interlocutor in cases where it is difficult for him to cope with the situation, survive a failure, express feelings or thoughts that are not yet completely clear. It is called the active listening technique.

With active listening, the main task is to understand the speaker and let him know about it, that is, to understand not only the content of his words, but also his emotional experience. To do this, you need to repeat what the interlocutor said, and at the same time name his feeling or state. If your answer is accurate, then the interlocutor feels that you have, as it were, joined in his experience. Reproducing what the interlocutor said, you can repeat a single word or phrase, or use a paraphrase. If a person spoke for a long time, then you can make a summary.

It is very important to pause after your answer. It is needed in order to give the interlocutor space and time to think.

You need to repeat what has been said in the affirmative, not the interrogative form. When you ask a question, it means that you want to inform yourself. And when you say the same phrase in the affirmative form, you tell the interlocutor what you heard about him.

It is useful to adapt to the interlocutor non-verbally, that is, to repeat his posture, facial expressions, gestures, intonations, volume and pace of voice, eye and head movements.

It is important that your eyes are at eye level with the interlocutor.

But don't start listening if there is no time. Don't give ratings. Don't give advice. Estimates and advice, even when they are given with the best of intentions, usually limit the speaker's freedom of expression, prevent him from highlighting the most significant points in his words.

Examples of parent responses in active listening:

You were very upset and embarrassed.

You're hurt, you're angry with the doctor.

It was very embarrassing and embarrassing.

You were scared, and the cup is very sorry.

Great! I see you are very happy.

Very annoying....

1. Step 2. "I" - messages.

Expressing your feelings is no less important aspect of communication than the ability to listen. By sharing our feelings, we enable the interlocutor to know and understand us.

We rarely think about how we talk. And often we don’t know that there are modern and effective communication techniques that can change our daily life, make us closer to each other, help find an approach to our children and loved ones.

To avoid conflicts and at the same time make sure that the communication partner hears you, the use of the I-message technique will help.

I - messages contain personal pronouns: I, me, me. As a rule, they begin with the words: "I don't like...", "It's hard for me...".

You just need to remember that I am messages - not in order to change the behavior of another, but so that the interlocutor hears and understands you.

If your child causes negative feelings in you by his behavior, let him know about it. Feelings, especially if they are negative and strong, should in no case be kept in oneself: one should not silently endure resentment, suppress anger, and maintain a calm appearance in case of strong excitement. I - the message contributes to the solution of the problem not directly, but by creating an atmosphere of trust in which it is easier to agree.

Why children do not hear us? Because we are used to You-messages, for example, “You couldn’t call! I worry!". The accusatory tone of such sentences alienates us from each other, forces us to step back, and take a defensive position.

Of course, in everyday speech it will not be possible to immediately come up with a beautiful sentence, but this is not necessary, the main thing is to adhere to a simple I-message scheme:

1. You need to start the phrase with a description of the fact that you do not like in the behavior of another person. No emotions or evaluation of a person as a person. For example, like this: “When you are late…”.

3. Then you need to explain what effect this behavior has on you or on others. For example: “because I have to stand at the entrance and freeze”, “because I don’t know the reason for your being late”, “because I have little time left to communicate with you.”

4. In the final part of the phrase, you need to report your desire, that is, what kind of behavior you would like to see instead of the one that made you dissatisfied. For example: "I would really like you to call me if you can't come on time."

5. As a result, instead of the accusation “You are late again”, we get a phrase like “When you are late, I worry because I don’t know the reason for your being late. I would really like you to call me if you can't come on time."

1. Examples of using I - messages and You - messages:

one). You are the message: “You spilled your tea again! Can you do anything at all?"

I am the message: “Oh, tea is on the floor, it’s annoying ... to brew again, and even wipe it.”

2). You are the message: You must go to bed because it's getting late.

I am the message: When it's late, and we're still awake, I'm upset, because in the morning you will be sleepy and it will be difficult to wake you up, I would really like you to fall asleep as soon as possible.

In the following situation, try to identify the statement of a person who has mastered the I-message technique:

You have an important conversation with a friend. The child keeps interrupting you.

Your words:

1. It is difficult for me to talk when I am interrupted.

2. Don't bother talking.

3. Can't you do something else while I'm talking?

Step 3. Positive thinking.

Positive thinking is the road to freedom, to a new standard of living, to success and personal growth. Each person initially has everything necessary to be happy, loved and successful. Our future is the result of our thinking today. Therefore, the practice of positive thinking is the very tool for shaping reality that can change our lives for the better.

Positive thinking causes positive feelings and emotions: happiness, joy, self-satisfaction, peace. Positive emotions affect not only psychological health, they strengthen the immune system, increasing resistance to disease. By practicing positive thinking exercises, you can get rid of a number of diseases caused by negative attitudes and experiences.

It is important to understand here that negative thoughts is our choice, our bad habit, which can be replaced by a useful one. Positive thinking exercises work on the same principle as physical exercises. To be in good physical form- regular, preferably daily training is important. Positive thinking is the result of daily work on yourself.

Monitor your thoughts and statements. If you often repeat aloud, or to yourself, the phrases: “... I have no doubt”, “... I won’t succeed”, “I’m not lucky” - this is a clear sign of the prevalence of negative attitudes. Try to change every negative statement into a positive one. For example: “I won’t get sick!” - wrong, "I'll be healthy!" - right.

Thus, it can be concluded that the development and practical use the above techniques in combination helps the parent to better understand the state, feelings, thoughts of his interlocutor. Understanding the personal experiences of the child and the correct reaction of adults is one of the most important conditions good contact with him. To such an understanding and establishment in the family trusting relationship conducts the practice of applying the "Three Steps Toward" technique. Only being in a favorable emotional state can parents find the right and right approach to their child and help him overcome possible difficulties. This form of work creates a solid foundation for trusting relationships and mutual understanding.

Bibliography

1. Gippenreiter Yu.B. Communicate with the child. How? / Yu.B. Gippenreiter. - M.: AST: Astel, 2007. - p. 61-130.

2. Gippenreiter Yu.B. We continue to communicate with the child. So? / Yu.B. Gippenreiter. - M.: AST: Astel, 2013. - p. 303.

3. Korchak I. How to love a child. Yekaterinburg: U-Factoria, 2004. - p. 352.

4. Le Shang E. When your child drives you crazy. M .: Pedagogy, 1990. - p. 272.

5. Montessori M. Help me do it myself. M.: Karapuz, 2001. - p. 272.

6. Osorina M.V. The secret world of children in the space of the world of adults. SPb.: Peter, 1999. - p. 288.

7. Simonova O.K. Parent meetings with a psychologist. 1 - 11 classes. - M. : Planeta, 2011. - p. 128.

8. Elkonin D. B. Psychology of the game. M .: Pedagogy, 1978. - p. 304.

Attachment 1.

Active listening exercises

Exercise "Broken phone"

Target: show participants what percentage of information is lost during passive listening, without confirmation of understanding and clarifying questions.

Description: The host invites 5 volunteers.

Instructions for participants: 4 people go out the door, to one (the one who remained) the presenter reads out the text: “The teacher of the Russian language Tatyana Lvovna asked me to pass Art. educator Nazarov that the excursion to the Catherine Park is postponed from Tuesday, April 24 at 17.00 to Friday, April 27 at 16.00. All participants of the tour should have 50 rubles with them for the purchase of entrance tickets. And also, if desired, nuts or seeds for squirrels.

The task of the listening participant is to convey what he memorized to the next participant. Participants come in turn - passively listen and transmit the information received.

Discussion: % of the remaining information from the original text and is the passive listening technique effective? What is remembered from our message? What should be remembered from our message?

Telefax exercise

Target : Develop active listening skills.

Time spending: 15 minutes.

Training: Draw on sheets of paper several objects that are easy to depict: a tree, a house, a fish, a flower. In addition, each team will need paper and a pencil.

Game stages:

1. The group is divided into teams. Everyone sits one behind the other on chairs (the backs of the chairs must be turned to the side) or on the floor. The first player in a row receives a blank sheet of paper and a pencil, the last one receives a card with a picture (no one else should see it).

2. Each team will now work like a telefax. Team members try to get the message across as quickly and accurately as possible. This message is a simple image of an object that is drawn with the index finger on the back in front of the person sitting. Players must not talk to each other.

3. When the "message" reaches the first team member, he draws on a piece of paper an object that he thinks was drawn on his back, and shouts "Done!". After that, you can compare both cards.

4. Before the start of the next round, find out if the teams will change the sequence of players.

5. At the end of the game, discuss a few questions:

Did the team work well?

How could work efficiency be improved?

Why was the speed at which the teams completed tasks varied?

Exercise "Hearing"

Target: learn effective listening.

Description: Group members are divided into pairs. One person must for three minutes tell any interesting story from his life, and the second one must use facial expressions, gestures, facial expressions and other non-verbal and verbal ways to demonstrate his attention and interest in information.

All other members of the group evaluate the effectiveness of listening on a ten-point system and determine its level. The procedure is repeated until all members of the group take part in the game.

Reflection.

An exercise " Active listening»

Target: mastering active listening skills.

Description: Work in pairs. The exercise is performed within 2 minutes.

One of the participants tells something to the other. The listener uses the techniques of active or passive listening, to choose from for 1 min. And then, at the sign of the leader, he uses another technique. Then the partners switch roles.

Reflection.

Appendix 2

Exercises to develop positive thinking skills

1. Exercise "Optimist and pessimist"

Target - promote the development of positive thinking.

Description: Participants are divided into pairs - an optimist and a pessimist. Each pair is offered a card with a problem situation, each participant must express his attitude to which in accordance with his role.

Reflection.

Charging positive thinking "Exactly today"

Say this text to yourself every morning. Encourage yourself to take action.

Don't forget to say words of encouragement to yourself. Think of courage and happiness, strength and peace. I wish you success.

1. TODAY I will have a calm day, and I will be happy. Happiness is the inner state of a person. Happiness does not depend on external circumstances. My happiness lies within me. Each person is as happy as he wants to be happy.

2. TODAY I will join the life that surrounds me and will not try to adapt it to my desires. I will accept my family, my work and my life circumstances as they are and try to fully comply with them.

3. TODAY I will take care of my health. I will exercise, take care of my body, avoid unhealthy habits and thoughts.

4. TODAY I pay attention to my common development. I'll do something useful. I will not be lazy and will make my mind work.

5. JUST TODAY I will continue my moral self-improvement. I will be useful and necessary to my family, my work, myself.

6. JUST TODAY, I will be kind to everyone. I will look my best. I will not find fault with people and try to correct them.

7. JUST TODAY I will outline the program of my affairs that I want to carry out. This program will save me from haste and indecision, even if I cannot accurately execute it.

8. JUST TODAY, I will spend half an hour in peace and solitude, completely relaxing.

9. JUST FOR TODAY, I will not be afraid of life and my own happiness.

Tulinova Elena Sergeevna,educational psychologist

MBU Gubkinsky urban district

"Social rehabilitation center for minors"

"Correction of child-parent relationships in kindergarten."

Everything that happens in the family

does not happen by accident,

interconnected and interdependent.

N. Ackerman. 9

Parental upbringing, under certain conditions, can be unfavorable if the child is brought up by one parent, foster parents, stepfather or stepmother, as well as parents with non-permanent residence with them. Growing up in an incomplete family, in particular, becomes unfavorable when the raising parent feels unhappy and, locking himself in the family, is not able to create the necessary conditions for his son or daughter to form positive feelings and satisfaction with life. The well-being of the family is determined not only by the characteristics of the parents, but also by the social support of others with whom a trusting relationship has developed. The family provides the child with life experiences. Parents stimulate his development through a variety of games, activities, visits with him to parks, museums, theaters, libraries. Conversations with the child develop his speech,

and thinking, broaden their horizons. Insufficient communication between the child and parents, the lack of joint games and activities puts the child on the brink of psychological risk.

Distorted relationships in the family due to insufficient frankness, fruitless disputes, inability to agree among themselves to solve family problems, hiding family secrets from the child - all this makes it extremely difficult to adapt to life and, as a rule, the tense environment in which the child is brought up is fraught with mental health risk.

Intra-family relations are disrupted if there are antagonistic interactions and relationships between family members, which leads to adverse consequences for the social and emotional development of the child. These conflicting relationships are associated with impaired family formation, although the mechanisms through which they influence are still not well understood. Some of the intra-family "hazards" directly affect the child's relationship with family members, while others create a general unfavorable family atmosphere in which the child is brought up.

As V.A. Sukhomlinsky rightly noted, a person’s feelings, emotional susceptibility, empathy for another person are formed, first of all, in the family, in relationships with parents. The child feels the need to communicate with close adults, strives for mutual understanding with them. Intra-family communication creates optimal conditions for the child to gain experience in achieving harmony and unity with other people. In this case, the child feels protected, positively perceives himself and the world around him, while we can talk about his favorable psychological state. If relationships in the family are disturbed, naturally, this immediately affects the emotional well-being of the child and his interaction with the outside world.

The emotional ties that exist in the family between parents and children have a significant impact on the development of the child. last years attention to the issues of family education, the features of the emotional manifestation of children (as a response to the educational influences of loved ones) have not been studied enough. In addition, in the process of work, we encountered communication problems with some children. senior group as a result of a violation of interpersonal relationships in the family and the predominance of negative emotional states. And this is already one of the factors of the unfavorable psychological state of the child.

In order to study the causes of these violations, the projective method "My family", the CTO (color test of relationships) PARY and the questionnaire "Peculiarities of your family upbringing" specially developed by us were applied. The results of the study showed that 27% of children perceive the environment at home as hostile to themselves; 45% believe that little attention is paid to them in the family. According to the CTO, all unfavorable colors (gray, brown, black) were received by either the mother or the father (stepfather) - 35% and 65%, respectively.

An analysis of the results of the diagnostics carried out showed that the reasons for ineffective models of family education are as follows:

Misunderstanding of the uniqueness of the child's personal development

Non-acceptance of children (inconsistency of the sex of the child as expected)

Inconsistency of the requirements and expectations of parents with the capabilities of the child

Inflexibility of parents in relations with children. The program of corrective work with parents of children of senior preschool age aims to help parents understand the cause-and-effect relationships that affect the atmosphere in the family. It is this understanding, in our opinion, that is the beginning of psychological changes in the family, since only in this case the mother and father (stepfather) of a preschooler will be able to more successfully solve the problems that arise in raising a child. Awareness or reflection is considered in the scientific literature as a stage in human development, as a way of rethinking this or that phenomenon (A.Z. Zak, I.N. Semenov, S.Yu. Stepanov, etc.) Psychological and pedagogical studies show that the development of reflection contributes to the success of the pedagogical activity of parents (O.L. Zvereva and others). In the concept of reflection of educational methods, we invest, sharing the point of view of O.L. upbringing of children, to search for and choose ways of parental behavior that are adequate to the abilities of the child. This understanding of reflection formed the basis for building corrective work with families of children with impaired interpersonal relationships and emotional distress.

The work with parents was carried out in three stages.

Individual and differentiated communication with each family.

Group meetings-classes with parents of children.

Parent-child relationship training.

The tasks of the first stage are the study of the problems of each family, the establishment of trusting relationships with family members, their emotional unity. At this stage of the correctional work, the following methods were used:

Participant observation, conversations with individual family members;

Organization of joint activities of mother, father (stepfather) and child, taking into account the interests of the latter;

Viewing and analysis of video clips of communication between mother and father (stepfather) with the child;

Elements of play therapy;

At the second stage of the work, the task was to develop in parents a conscious attitude to difficulties in family communication. The main form of work was group meetings with parents, held 2 times a month. The following methods of forming reflection in parents were used:

Analysis of real pedagogical situations from their experience;

Analysis of their own educational activities;

The task of the third stage is to eliminate the four ineffective models of family education identified in the process of diagnosing. The following forms of work were used:

Training sessions in which parents learned to adequately assess the methods of upbringing they used and apply flexible ways of communicating with the child;

Role-playing games with adults showing possible ways of enriching parent-child relationships;

Elements of art therapy in work with children and parents.

Corrective work was carried out in seven families of pupils. These families have nine children. preschool age: in five - boys (in two families for two), in two - girls. In two families, stepfathers took on the role of fathers. A sufficient level of emotional well-being was noted in one child (with a relative stability of the child's trusting relationship with one or more family members). Four children have an average level (situational manifestation of trusting relationships to family members or the absence of such relationships with a contradictory indifferent attitude towards mother, father or stepfather) and two children have a low level. Of the total number of families participating in the experiment, not a single family was assigned to a positively agreed type of interaction in education. Three families were referred to the situationally coordinated type, i.e. their parental interaction was characterized by a situational, contradictory nature, four families - to a mismatched type of interaction (with a low degree of similarity in assessments of each other as educators of children). Three mothers needed correction of the emotional-affective sphere and excessive rationalization of feelings. Four mothers needed emotional support in getting a sense of their own confidence, to remove doubts about possible positive changes in the family. Initially, they felt the need for approval of the correctness of their chosen tactics of behavior. To this end, the mothers willingly went to a confidential contact with a psychologist. One counseling day per week was established for parents who need individual communication.

We paid great attention to developing an adequate style of communication with each particular family, relying on schemes for building group communication. At the same time, the following necessary characteristics of communication were formed in parents:

Equality of psychological positions (“the look of two interlocutors directed in one direction”);

The ability to “actively listen”, i.e. perception of gestures, facial expressions, changes in voice intonations, facial expressions, catching psychological and semantic overtones, an intuitive feeling that a person cannot or does not want to say;

Sincere penetration into each other's feelings by reducing the emotional distance.

We paid close attention to the pedagogical experience of the parents themselves. We recorded some fragments of it on video and, with their permission, used it as educational material to analyze the ways of communicating with the child.

An effective method of corrective work with parents has become the organization of interaction between an adult and a child. Depending on the interests of the child and parents, we selected different types of joint activities, then discussed with adults the child's behavior, his reactions to the influence of an adult, etc. For example, we used tasks: “Draw a joint picture on a given topic”, “Draw a picture together”, etc. With the help of this technique, it was possible to “break” the barrier, unconscious and artificially created by the mother of one pupil, in his communication with his stepfather. In the process of drawing, the stepfather showed himself to be a responsive and enthusiastic person. In subsequent meetings, he took part, not without interest, in discussing the drawings of his son, made by him in the classroom, including the topics: “My family and me”, “My bad and good mood”, etc. So, through the organization of joint activities, we showed possible options for meaningful communication with the child, taking into account his interests and preferences.

In our work, we put a great emphasis on playful communication between an adult and a child. Parents were convinced by their own experience of the emotional richness of such communication. Although at first most of them had difficulty in such communication, they did not join the game on an equal footing with the children, but gave instructions on what and how to do, where to put it, etc. Such a directive nature of the game, of course, did not evoke a response from the children, therefore, we proposed games of a competitive nature, with movement. In the course of such games (“Architect”, “Foreigners”, “Figures”), parents learned to feel like a partner in the game, gradually getting rid of excessive stiffness. In order for them to analyze their manner of communicating with the child and the methods of communication chosen in this case, the task “Come up with names for the pictures together” was used (a modification of the methodology of E.G. Sokolova). It was proposed to take turns agreeing on the name of the paintings, then asked the parents to comment on the observed communication with each other. So, the parents of Gleb, Ilya and Denis, having watched the communication with the children from the outside, were surprised to conclude that they teach them more, and this turns out to be easier than communicating “on an equal footing”. We sought to expand the parents' understanding of the possibilities of the game to establish emotional relationships with the child, to acquaint them with games that can be used at home. Taking into account the corrective role of the game in cases of difficulties in communication and relying on the developed methods of M.A. Panfilova, A.I. Zakharov, we used elements of play therapy in working with the families of pupils. For example, the games "Pick mushrooms", "Journey together" helped to ease the tension felt by adults and children in families with mismatched parental interaction.

The “Drawing Fears” exercise made it possible to show parents and children effective ways to get rid of fears, anxieties, and other negative emotional states. It was proposed to both children and parents to draw their fear, then exchange the drawn fears and cut them into small pieces. Further, it was proposed to make sure that it was not possible to collect fear in its original form, which means that it would never return.

In the process of working with children, parents have mastered the practical methods of helping the child in cases of emotional difficulties in contact with other people. In addition, mothers and fathers (stepfathers) became interested in children's problems, they learned to observe the child, to note changes in his mood. As a result of the work carried out, not a single family remained with a low degree of similarity in parents' assessments of each other as educators of the child, and two families can already be attributed to a positively agreed type of interaction in education.

NON-STATE EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION OF HIGHER PROFESSIONAL EDUCATION

"THISBI MANAGEMENT UNIVERSITY"

Faculty of Law

"Psychological and pedagogical education"

Methods of psychocorrectional work

course work

Performed by the student ZPNk-22

Fakhretdinova A.K.

Checked: cand. psychologist. Sciences,

Associate Professor Galich T.N.

KAZAN, 2014

INTRODUCTION

Family as an object of psycho-corrective influence

Methods for correcting child-parent and family relations

family photo

family ritual

Parent Seminar

CONCLUSION

BIBLIOGRAPHY

INTRODUCTION

The issues of providing psychological assistance to families in our country have a long history. Currently, there is an increase in interest in problems related to the family, its formation and evolution. The interest in preventive work and the study of the process of family evolution by many authors is explained by the difficulties that modern society experiencing great amount families: high divorce rates, an increasing number of single-parent families and families with adopted children.

This problem is of particular relevance, since at the present stage it is very important to prevent the collapse of marital and intra-family relations, to help overcome the difficulties of interpersonal interaction in the family, and the efforts of both the professional society of psychologists and the public, pedagogical structures and society as a whole are aimed at this.

The intensive development of the family service in our country has led to the creation of a wide range of institutions and organizations of various profiles, which aim to assist the family, help in overcoming its difficulties: family consultations, dating services, different kinds family education (family universities, faculties, lecture halls), sexological, pedagogical, psychological rooms. Their activities are extremely diverse: assistance in creating a family (dating services for singles); assistance in strengthening the family and overcoming family development crises (consultations for conflicting and divorcing spouses); assistance in the upbringing of children (counselling centers for parents); family prevention (consultations for newlyweds, problem families).

Assistance to the family, along with psychologists, is provided by specialists in various fields: sexologists, lawyers, psychiatrists, teachers, psychotherapists, and sociologists. New centers of family pedagogy are emerging, mutual assistance programs are being organized, which are more focused on the personal problems of family members, on solving intra-family problems. The number of professional psychologists dealing with the prevention and correction of psychological problems, one way or another connected with the development of a person in the family, has grown significantly.

Each researcher working with the family creates his own integrative theory of the family, even if it is in accordance with some theoretical school, but this requires years of hard work. practical work.

FAMILY AS AN OBJECT OF PSYCHO-CORRECTIONAL IMPACT.

Currently, there are several directions in corrective work with the family:

Psychodynamic.

Systemic and strategic.

Eclectic.

psychodynamic direction. This approach is characterized by great attention paid to the analysis of the historical past of family members, their unconscious desires, psychological problems and mutual projections experienced in the early stages of ontogenesis and reproduced in actual experience. Great importance is attached to achieving insight - to understanding how unresolved problems in the past affect modern relationships in the family and how unconstructive ways of adapting to life arise for some of its members from this disturbed context of relationships. Working within the framework of this approach requires a lot of effort on the part of both the psychologist and the family members, a huge investment of time, which is less economically feasible, but highly effective.

Systemic and strategic direction. Work within the framework of a systematic approach is based on the position of the interdetermination of personality and interpersonal relationships, according to which the style of communication, the nature of interaction, the type of education, on the one hand, and the personal characteristics of family members, on the other, form a closed, constantly reproducing homeostatic cycle.

Considering the family as a kind of unified system, various subsystems are distinguished as independent units of intra-family interactions: they play an important role in the functioning of a wider family system.

Family subsystems are determined by factors such as generation, gender, interests: husband-wife, father-mother, child-child, child-mother, child-father, children-pets, etc.

Each individual may belong to many family subsystems.

In the course of implementing a systematic approach in family correctional work, a number of stages are distinguished:

Diagnostic (family diagnosis).

Elimination of family conflict.

Reconstructive.

supportive.

Under the family diagnosis is understood the typification of disturbed family relationships, taking into account the individual and personal properties of family members. A feature of the family diagnostics procedure is a cross-cutting and stereoscopic character. The cross-cutting nature lies in the fact that diagnostics are carried out at all stages of corrective work. The stereoscopic nature of family diagnostics means that if information about what is happening in the family is received from one of the family members, this information must be supplemented and compared with information received from other family members.

At the stage of elimination of a family conflict, the origins of a family conflict are identified and classified, and it is eliminated by means of emotional response by each family member involved in the conflict.

At the stage of reconstruction of family relations, a group discussion of topical family problems is carried out either in a single family or in parallel groups of clients with similar problems and their relatives.

At the supporting stage (stage of fixation), the acquired skills of empathic communication and the increased repertoire of role behavior are fixed in natural family conditions. real life.

The duration of corrective work within the framework of a systematic approach can vary from several weeks to several years. Work begins with one or two meetings a week, then meetings take place once every two weeks and then once every three weeks.

eclectic trend. Representatives of this direction use methods different in their psychological mechanisms in corrective work with the family: group discussion, role-playing games, homework for behavior modification, analysis and interpretation of relationships, etc.

family playing huge role in the life of both the individual and society as a whole. The most important characteristics of the family are its functions, structure and dynamics.

The main functions of the family: educational, household, emotional, spiritual (cultural) communication, primary social control, sexual and erotic.

The educational function of the family is to satisfy individual needs in fatherhood and motherhood, in contact with children and their upbringing.

The household function of the family consists in meeting the material needs of the family (for food, shelter, etc.), in helping to preserve their health (the restoration of the physical forces expended in labor is ensured).

The emotional function of the family is to satisfy the needs of its members for sympathy, respect, recognition, emotional support, psychological protection.

The function of spiritual (cultural) communication involves meeting the needs for joint leisure activities, mutual spiritual enrichment.

The function of primary social control ensures that family members comply with social norms.

The sexual-erotic function is to satisfy the sexual-erotic needs of family members.

Family functions undergo certain changes over time: some are lost, others appear in accordance with new ones. social conditions, others - change their position in the overall structure. Family functions may be disrupted. In this case, its vital activity is disturbed, the performance of functions is difficult. A wide range of factors can contribute to violations: the characteristics of the personalities of its members and the relationship between them, certain living conditions of the family. For example, the reason for violations of the educational function of the family can be both the lack of appropriate knowledge and skills of the parents, and violations in their relations (conflicts on issues of education, interference by other family members, etc.).

The structure of the family is its composition, the number of members, as well as the totality of their relationships. An analysis of the family structure makes it possible to answer the question of how the functions of the family are implemented: who in the family is in charge and who is the executor, how rights and duties are distributed among family members. For example, the uneven distribution of household duties between spouses is a violation of the structure of relationships in the family, since it prevents the satisfaction of a number of needs of the spouse who took on the main load (needs for the restoration of physical strength, cultural, spiritual growth).

Family dynamics. The functions and structure of the family may change depending on the stages of its development. There are various systems for highlighting the main stages of the family life cycle. The most famous is the system of stages by E. Duval, in which the fact of the presence or absence of children in the family and their age is used as the main sign of the differentiation of stages.

Family life cycle phases

Involvement. Meeting spouses, their emotional attraction to each other.

Acceptance and development of new parental roles.

The birth of a child and the adoption of a new personality in the family. The transition from dyadic relations of spouses to relations in a triangle.

Introduction of children to non-family institutions.

Acceptance of adolescence.

Experimenting with independence.

Preparing for the departure of children from the family.

The departure of children from the family, the acceptance of their departure, the life of the spouses "eye to eye".

Acceptance of retirement and old age.

Family Disorders

Throughout the life cycle, the family faces various difficulties and adverse conditions - illness, housing and domestic inconveniences, conflicts with the social environment, the consequences of broad social processes (war, economic and social crisis, etc.). In this regard, the family often faces difficult problems that can adversely affect its life. The study of the difficulties faced by the family goes in two directions.

First: the study of the family in the face of difficulties that have arisen due to the adverse effects of social processes: wars, economic crises, natural disasters, etc.

The second study of "normative stressors" - difficulties encountered under normal conditions associated with the passage of a family through the main stages of the life cycle, as well as arising from the action of factors that disrupt family life: prolonged separation, divorce, death of a family member, sudden serious illness and etc. All these circumstances lead to numerous complex consequences - manifestations of disturbances in family life: an increase in the conflict of relationships, a decrease in satisfaction with family life, a weakening of family cohesion, on the one hand, and on the other, an increase in the efforts of family members aimed at preserving it and increasing resistance to difficulties.

Family disorders are complex formations, including factors that cause them (difficulties faced by the family), adverse consequences for the family and its reactions (in particular, the understanding of violations by family members).

Numerous difficulties that arise before the family and threaten its life can be divided into the following groups:

Acute: sudden death of a family member, news of adultery, sudden change in family and social status: arrest of a family member, bankruptcy, etc.

Chronic: excessive physical and mental stress at home and at work, difficulties in solving the housing problem, long-term and persistent conflict between family members, etc.

Associated with a sharp change in the lifestyle of the family (life stereotype). This group of psychological difficulties arises during the transition from one stage of the family life cycle to another (marriage and the beginning life together, the appearance of a child, the termination of educational activities by the family). Such transitions are accompanied by a rather sharp change in the way of life of the family.

Associated with the summation of difficulties, their "imposition" on each other. An example of such difficulties may be the need to almost simultaneously solve a number of problems at the beginning of the second stage (immediately after the appearance of the first child in the family) - the completion of education and the development of a profession, the solution of the housing problem, the initial acquisition of property, child care.

Associated with the stages of the family life cycle (for example, the convergence of the ideologies of parental families among newlyweds). Common difficulties (“normative stressors”) faced by almost all families. At the first stage of life, these are the difficulties of mutual psychological adjustment and conflicts that arise in the formation of relationships with relatives, in solving the housing problem. At the second stage, these are the tasks of raising and caring for a child, maintaining a labor-intensive household. The combination of these difficulties at certain points in the life cycle of the family leads to family crises.

The first critical period (the most intense) is observed between the 3rd and 7th years of the existence of the family and reaches its greatest severity between the 4th and 6th years.

The second crisis is brewing between the 17th and 25th years. In both cases, there is an increase in dissatisfaction.

The leading role in the case of the first crisis is acquired by a frustrating change in emotional relationships and, as a result, an increase in the number conflict situations, voltage increase; in the case of the second, an increase in somatic complaints, anxiety, and a sense of the emptiness of life associated with the separation of children from the family.

Caused by unfavorable life cycle options (for example, if the newlyweds come from families with polar opposite ideologies).

These are the difficulties that arise when one of its members (spouse, children) is absent from the family. The reason may be a divorce, a long separation of the spouses, the death of one of the family members, childlessness. With all the variety of family development options, a number of common sources of violations are noted: functional emptiness (a situation where one of the roles necessary for the successful existence of a family is not fulfilled by anyone, for example, with the departure of a father from the family, his share in upbringing is already irreplaceable), difficulties in adapting to oneself an event that gave rise to an unfavorable development scenario.

Situational influences on the family. This group includes relatively short-term difficulties, but threatening the functioning of the family (serious illnesses of family members, large property losses, etc.). Of great importance in the psychological impact of these difficulties is the factor of suddenness (the family is unprepared for the event), exclusivity (it is easier to survive the difficulties affecting many families), as well as a sense of helplessness (family members are sure that they cannot do anything in order to secure yourself in the future).

In a healthy family structure, there is a fluid balance that manifests itself in the design psychological roles each family member, the family sense of "We", the ability of family members to independently resolve contradictions and conflicts. In disharmonious families, balance in relationships is used in order to avoid change, development and the possible anxieties and losses associated with this. Equilibrium ceases to be a form of family adaptation to the tasks of optimal performance of its external and internal functions.

Objectively developing relationships in the family characterize its structure, family integrity.

Disharmony, destabilization of the family is negative character marital relations, expressed in the conflict interaction of spouses, parents. The emerging family conflict is a complex phenomenon. The reasons for it, on the one hand, are violations in the system of interactions, their frigidity, competitive nature, formality, inequality, on the other hand, distortion in personal attitudes, role expectations, methods of perception.

Families with broken relationships cannot independently resolve the contradictions and conflicts that arise in family life. As a result of a long-term conflict, socio-psychological adaptation of family members decreases, there is no ability to work together, in particular, disagreements arise in matters of raising children. The level of psychological stress in the family tends to increase, which leads to emotional disturbances, anxiety in children and adults.

In unstable families, there is always a hidden question about what rights are given to different family members, who in the family provokes contradictions without the possibility of resolving them. Any topics that require cooperation raise the question: "Who should decide and who is responsible for this?" Attempts to resolve this issue in unstable families almost always lead to conflicts.

T.M. Mishina defines family conflicts as such an aggravation of interpersonal relations in a family group, when the positions, relationships, goals of the parties become incompatible, mutually exclusive, or are perceived as such. In the latter case, the conflict is subjective, there is no objective incompatibility - and, therefore, the possibility of restoring family balance on a new basis remains. At the heart of family conflicts, i.e. disharmonic interaction, lie the inadequacy of perception (L.A. Petrovskaya, 1982), the immature relationship of interdependence - relationships that serve to satisfy and maintain neurotic needs in rivalry, dominance, protection and care (T.M. Mishina, 1977).

The family can be seen as functional or dysfunctional.

A functional (healthy) family is characterized by a flexible hierarchical power structure, clearly articulated family rules, a strong parental coalition, intact intergenerational boundaries. A healthy family is a family in motion. Family rules are open and serve as positive guidelines for growth. A clear distance between generations is one of the components in the structure of a well-functioning family.

A normally functioning family is a family that performs its functions responsibly and differentially, as a result of which the need for growth and change is satisfied both for the family as a whole and for each of its members. A stable marriage is characterized by the following features: tolerance, respect for each other, honesty, desire to be together, similarity of interests and value orientations. A stable marriage is determined by the coincidence of interests and spiritual values ​​of the spouses and the contrast of their personal qualities, as well as the ability of family members to negotiate on all aspects of life together.

A dysfunctional family does not provide for the personal growth of each of its members. In dysfunctional families, the existence of any problems is denied, there is a lack of intimacy, shame is used to motivate individual behavior, family roles are rigid, individual identity is sacrificed for family identity, and individual needs are sacrificed for the needs of the family as a whole.

Dysfunctional families are characterized by the following problems:

erroneous choice of partner (expectations that the husband/wife will resemble the father/mother);

incomplete relationship with the parent family (referring to parents for advice, instead of consulting with each other when solving intra-family problems);

loss of illusions;

experiencing confusion;

adultery and the threat of divorce;

civil marriage as an attempt to avoid responsibility (moral, legal, financial, etc.).

The term "family myth" refers to certain defense mechanisms used to maintain unity in dysfunctional families. Family myths are understood as a certain unconscious mutual agreement between family members, the functions of which are to prevent the recognition of rejected ideas about the family as a whole and about each of its members. The following family myths are most common in dysfunctional families: "We are such a great family, but others cannot understand it", "He is such a bastard (about a child) that he is not worth our care", "He is very sensitive (a child, a sick family member etc.) and requires a special relationship, we live for him and for his sake."

Such family myths are presented to others to justify the behavior of family members and create an observable public image for each family member and the family as a whole. The purpose of such a myth is to mask the unsatisfied needs, conflicts that family members have, and to agree on some idealized ideas about each other. These myths are based on unconscious emotions that connect family members in a certain way: guilt, emotional rejection, fear of the responsibility of acting in a certain family role.

The family myth is an inadequate image of "We" ("the image of the family"). An adequate image of "We" determines the lifestyle of the family, marital relations, the nature and rules of individual and group behavior. An adequate image of "We" contributes to the holistic regulation of the behavior of family members in a dynamic system of family context, and an inadequate image takes the form of a family myth that helps maintain dysfunctional relationships in the family, as a result of which the needs of its members for growth and change, for self-actualization and cooperation are unsatisfied, and the family as a whole rigidly reproduces its past experience, with little regard for changes in the wider system - society.

For harmonious families, a consistent image of "We" is characteristic, for dysfunctional families - the use of family myths.

A family problem is a situation in which a family needs to make a certain decision, and the adoption of this decision (or its implementation) faces a significant difficulty for this family. The process of solving family problems can be complicated by a lack of group problem solving skills. The family does not know how to discuss and solve not only family, but also any other problems. The lack of such skills may be related to the cultural level of the family, its traditions, the characteristics of the social stratum to which it belongs, etc.; violations of information, emotional and other processes in the family.

The presence of a communication problem and a communication barrier can be attributed to violations of information processes in the family.

A communication problem is a situation in the life of a family when one of the family members has a certain need, the satisfaction of which depends on the actions of another family member. These actions would take place if a family member in need conveyed certain information (a request, a hint, etc.). However, the transmission of this information is not possible due to any psychological features this person. The need persists despite the impossibility of satisfying it (i.e., there is no significant decrease in the level of claims).

Family and family problems (rather acute in our country) exist, but there is no developed theory and practice of family psychocorrection yet. Recently there have been qualitative changes in this field of knowledge. Increased as quantity various techniques and the procedures used in working with the family, and their quality, which is the result of the exchange of ideas in professional periodicals, at conferences, in various research centers for family assistance. However, the issues of providing assistance to each particular family depend on each specific situation. In the application of any technique, the time aspect, the application procedure, the skill and qualification of the psychologist who uses this material are important.

In family psychocorrectional work, the following areas are distinguished:

correction of child-parent relationships,

correction of marital relations,

psychocorrection of a post-divorce situation,

correction of sexual problems in the family.

According to the duration of the conduct, they distinguish: short-term family psychocorrection; long-term family psychocorrection.

When drawing up a correctional program for working with a family, it is important to consider a number of parameters:

Temporal. Determine the total length of the entire correction process in time, the regularity of meetings with the family, the duration of each meeting.

Spatial. Determine the place of meetings: at the place of residence of the family, in consultation, etc.

Style. Determine the main style of conducting work (directive, non-directive).

Informative. Determine which problems (private or most important) will begin corrective work. It is also necessary to determine the form of work with the family: simultaneously with the whole family; with each member individually, and then jointly, etc. Define overall structure programs of work with the family, highlight the main stages, develop a detailed action plan (leaving room for maneuver, actions "according to the situation").

The way of organizing and conducting correctional work with the family is determined by a number of factors. The most optimal situation is when the choice of one or another method of organizing family psychocorrection depends mainly on the individual characteristics of the family, and not on the scientific views and personal characteristics of the psychologist.

Many psychologists use various corrective techniques in their arsenal to work with families. Any technique is an instrument like a hammer or a piano. A hammer can be used as a weapon and for building a house, a piano can make a lot of annoying sounds or, conversely, amazing music. The value of any tool is determined by how it is used and the skill of the user.

METHODS OF CORRECTION OF CHILD-PARENT AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

"Family Photo". This technique is used to work with any family whose members can communicate verbally. It is used to study the structure of the family, roles, communications and intra-family relationships.

Based on this technique, it is possible to analyze the influence of the family's past on its present. This technique encourages family members to question family myths, rules, belief systems, and the roles they play. The technique is used to diagnose and correct family relationships.

The psychologist asks each family member to bring a certain number of family photos that can say something significant about family relationships. The number of photos is limited. No instructions are given for the selection of photographs. If relationships in a multigenerational family are discussed, then the number of photographs increases.

At the next meeting, the main topic of family relationships is discussed. Each family member is given up to 15 minutes, during which he presents the photographs he has chosen and tells why they were chosen, what meaning they have for him and what feelings they evoke.

What matters is the order in which the photographs are presented and how it is done. The sequence deserves special attention: which photo is the first, which is the last. The speed of the show, the degree of interest or anxiety, as well as the behavior of family members during the entire action also matters: whether they are serious, whether they are joking, nervous, etc.

Thus, the content of each photograph is discussed and it is considered how close the family members depicted in them are to each other, the level of formality in the relationship between them, as well as the presence or absence of certain relatives in the picture.

The psychologist asks questions about the people and places depicted in the photograph, about the general mood, the atmosphere that reigned in the picture. Approximately the following questions are proposed: "Who are these people in the photographs?"; "Do you remember what happened during the shooting?"; "What feelings caused joint pastime in the family circle on this day?"; "Who took this picture?"; "What happened after the photographer clicked the camera lens?"; "Tell me about this room, please"; "Why do people dress this way and not otherwise?"

After a family member has finished presenting the photographs they brought in, other family members are encouraged to ask questions and share their observations during the display, which helps open up new perspectives on family behavior. Photo browsing can continue over several meetings. This exercise is interesting, non-anxious, and serves the purpose of stimulating memories, repressed emotional experiences, and emotional experiences. During the discussion, the psychologist analyzes such specific areas of intra-family relationships as power, dependence, intimacy, anxiety, male and female roles of family members.

"Family Ritual" The technique refers to the structural methods of psycho-correctional work in family relationships.

The goal of structural methods is to reorganize the system so that its members can move from one position to another, from one role to another, to establish and maintain adequate boundaries between positions in the system and, thus, to encourage the system to reorganize itself.

Structural techniques are especially important and are used in the initial stages of corrective work.

The main thing for a psychologist in this system is to join the system and at the same time not be absorbed by it.

Working with the family as a system creates a new system - a psycho-correctional one, which includes:

structuring the process (rules of the game);

empathy (an agreement on how the a new group- family + psychologist).

The psychologist lets clients know that he hears them, understands and appreciates them in themselves, that they are valuable and self-sufficient.

Structural techniques are used to solve the following problems:

Creating a movement. Clients feel that they are "stuck" in their actual actual situation and don't know how to get out of it. Structural moves immediately cause a change in the situation. This encourages the client to move on. The release of the child from the parental role can create space for the parent and encourage him to move towards greater competence, assuming the parental role.

Changing perspectives. Playing new roles, clients take a new position in the family system, begin to follow new rules. This encourages them to look at things from a different point of view and find new meanings for old facts.

Redistribution of power. By joining different subsystems, a psychologist can increase the importance of one relative for another, overcome inequalities, or break the deadlocks that confrontation has led to. Support for parents in their role as creators family rules and supporting children in their need for respect and greater responsibility can serve as examples of such alliances.

Destruction of coalitions. Sometimes two or more people unite in order to oppose a third. For example, one parent and a child team up to oppose the other parent. In this case, it is necessary to do everything possible to destroy this alliance, to stop the child's interference in the affairs of the parents.

Formation of new alliances. Clients can be assisted in their efforts to connect and work together. For example, parents are helped to reach an agreement about their parenting position and to implement it in practice.

Clarification of boundaries between subsystems. The psychologist helps clients find out who, how and in what function is included in this subsystem; who is responsible for what. Reducing the number of boundaries that are too rigid to support joint action is an example of issues that can be discussed.

Discovering new sides of your personality. By changing their place in the system of intra-family interactions, people get the opportunity to try new behavioral patterns and discover new sides of their personality.

Normalizing the experience of being in a certain position. Sometimes people see themselves as bad, without values, powerless just because they occupy a certain place in the system.

A psychologist might say, "If I were you, I'd be depressed too" or "People in a position like yours usually feel and do the same thing."

Changing the meaning of being in a certain position. One of the clients complains about the inconvenience of being the eldest child in the family. Psychologist's remark: "Yes, there is some truth in this. This is exactly what happens with most older children. But if you look at the situation from the other side, we can say that older children receive good training in their family in order to be leaders and to ensure that others looked up at them."

Changing the family system by working with one of its members. If the assumption is correct that a change by one person of his position in the system leads to the fact that the whole system must adapt to this change, then in this case the psychologist can contribute to a change in the family system by supporting the change in the position of one of its members.

One of the methods for implementing structural changes in the family system is the "family ritual" method. This is a technique designed to change the rules of the existing family game by changing the structure of the family and sustainable ways of interacting in it. This version of the technique was developed by the Milan School of Family Therapy (1977-1978).

"Parents Seminar" A.S. Spivakovskaya proposed this technique for solving problems of changing the sphere of consciousness and self-awareness of parents and systems of social-perceptual stereotypes, as well as real forms family interactions.

The main psycho-correctional task is to change the attitude of people to their own family life and the tasks of education. At the seminar, the perception of each other by spouses is improved, the idea of ​​their child is changing, the palette of pedagogical methods of influencing the child is expanding, which are already at home, in everyday life, tested by parents. correction family parental attitude

During the seminar, parents discuss and think about their family relationships, exchange experiences, independently develop ways to resolve family conflicts in the course of a group discussion.

As a specific corrective method, the "parents' seminar" consists of the following special techniques:

Group discussion.

Bibliotherapy.

Anonymous difficult situations.

Lecture techniques. The psychologist informs parents of important psychological information from the point of view of education. Lecture topics are selected in relation to the interests and system of significant experiences of the seminar participants.

Possible lecture topics:

Laws of marital harmony.

What is naturalness in raising children.

What is a family crisis and a critical period in the development of a child.

Can a child's punishment be creative, etc.?

The main thing in the presentation of these topics is the simplicity, the vitality of the stated facts, the speaker's faith in what he sets out.

Group discussion. A.S. Spivakovskaya believes that during a group discussion it is advisable to organize a thematic discussion and a discussion on the type of case studies.

Thematic discussion involves the exchange of views on lecture topics. The topics of discussions of the second type are based on topics proposed by the parents themselves.

The goals of the discussion are to develop an optimal approach to a particular life situation, understanding its psychological meaning.

The main tasks of a group discussion in this technique are to increase the motivation and involvement of group members in solving the problems discussed.

Bibliotherapy. Parents are offered a specially selected list of books. Mostly books of a popular science character, devoted to the problems of family life and education, are used. Parents should find and read these books on their own, and during meetings discuss the content of the books they have read, presenting their own point of view on the problems they contain.

Anonymous difficult situations. This technique is aimed at enhancing the creative approach in raising children. It is used to activate a group discussion and to increase the motives of participants to resolve acquaintances. problem situations but in new ways.

Further, each of the parents should offer their own version of resolving the situation, based on personal experience own beliefs, values ​​and orientation of education. In the future, a generalization and analysis of the proposed situation takes place.

Conducting a seminar like this equips parents new information, gives them self-confidence, expands the creative potential of the family, contributes to the expansion of self-knowledge of the individual.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, we can say that the family plays a huge role in the life of both the individual and the whole society. In corrective work with the family, it is necessary to use various methods according to their psychological mechanisms.

Also, families often face difficult problems that can adversely affect their livelihoods. And the way of organizing and conducting correctional work with the family is determined by a number of factors.

So, the most optimal situation is when the choice of one or another method of organizing family psychocorrection depends mainly on the individual characteristics of the family, and not on the scientific views and personal characteristics of the psychologist.

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MBDOU " Kindergarten No. 5 compensating type

Pikalevo, Boksitogorsk district

educational psychologist

Lukina Marina Nikolaevna

The program of correction of child-parent relations

"Towards each other"

Pikalevo, 2015

Explanatory note

The concept of childhood is naturally associated with the family and loved ones that surround the child. The family is the first and main group, where the foundations of all further development and formation of his personality are laid. Relationships with close relatives remain one of the most emotionally significant for life. But sometimes it is precisely because of this emotional saturation that these relationships become a source of tension, difficulties and conflicts.

Psychologists and educators are increasingly faced with the problem of lack of understanding between parents and children. Parents, taking care of the well-being of the family, forget about the emotional well-being of their children. This is manifested in their constant employment, lack of joint activities with children, deceptive satisfaction of the growing needs of the child, in a weak idea of ​​the values ​​of a particular age period. Unfortunately, many parents are actually not familiar with their children, often do not realize their actual needs, which further leads to mistakes in education.

This is not an accident or a pattern, it's just that a person is not born into the world as a professional in any field, including the profession of a parent. But the ability to build a constructive relationship with a child can be learned. The main thing is to find a balance between care and overprotection, granting freedom and ignoring, between the increased needs of the child and his capabilities, it is important to help the child learn to be aware of the boundaries and norms of what is permissible and set only reasonable restrictions. It is necessary to create in the family an atmosphere of mutual understanding, cooperation and acceptance of each other.

Working with parents is one of the main and most difficult aspects of the work of a psychologist in a preschool institution.

L.Bardier believes that the interaction between a psychologist and a parent is most accurately reflected by the formula "Together we help children." There are two different knowledge about the child. One is scientific, theoretical, which a psychologist possesses, the other is personal, emotional knowledge of parents. If the psychologist and the parent share what they know with each other, together they can solve the problems of the child and create optimal conditions for his development. In this case, it is important not to ignore the knowledge that parents already have, but to expand and deepen them, to discover new facets in them, helping to see the facts from different points of view.

Working with parents is carried out in stages. At the first stage, the main form of interaction is individual counseling, during which the analysis and discussion of the problem in a particular family is carried out.

At the second stage, group meetings are held in the form of thematic parent meetings. Topics are selected based on the results of the survey, when parents themselves determine the topics that are most interesting to them, or choose from topics that the psychologist considers necessary to bring to the attention of parents.

The third stage of work is the organization of direct joint activities of the parent (parents) with the child. The purpose of this stage is to teach parents how to interact with the child based on his support. HELL. Andreeva defines support as faith in a child, in his strength, in a positive beginning in him. Parents should encourage the development of such faith in the child himself. This becomes possible when parents have an idea of ​​the actual needs of their child and are ready to meet them. This is exactly what the first two stages of work with parents are devoted to. They achieve an understanding that the comfort and safety of the child in the family determines how the child's attitude to the real world will turn out in the future. Emotional well-being, a positive attitude towards oneself and the world as a whole in a child, and then an adult, largely depends on the acceptance of his parents.

The purpose of the classes : strengthen the relationship between parents and child. Parents should become more sensitive to their children, learn to perceive them without judgment, with understanding, creating an atmosphere of acceptance in which the child feels safe.

Acceptance is the basis of a constructive relationship with a child. And it is important that these relationships and feelings are true and real. Parental acceptance is a kind of amulet for a child for all his long and happy life. Often the difficulties of parents with the acceptance of a child are due to the fact that they already have an ideal image of a future son or daughter, and any deviation from the desired model is perceived negatively. It is important to break this stereotype, but such stereotypes do not disappear instantly, it takes time, patience and faith in your child, recognition of his right to his life.

During classes, the psychologist creates conditions for joint activities of the parent and child, shows parents the points of contact with the child, teaches them to focus on the strengths of the child, re-acquaints them with each other, discovering new facets of their personality. In the classroom, communication skills are worked out, fears are overcome, a culture of communication is formed.

All classes are held in a playful way, as for a child, play is a natural habitat. Yes, and it is much easier for parents to abstract from the analysis of themselves, taking on the role of a game character (intuitively similar to the parent themselves). In addition, the game, as a type of activity, implies the simultaneous experience of the conventionality and reality of the situation. Consequently, the game serves not only the tasks of learning and training, but also correction.

Parents, playing with the child, are in the territory of his interests. Submission of both adults and children to the same rules of the game allows the child to feel his importance, and the parent to play the role of a child, descending from the pedestal of omniscient authority.

In the process of working with parents and children, activities such as project activity, joint drawing (sculpting, application, design), elements of fairy tale therapy, the use of the Lego constructor. The main thing is to have communication in joint activities.

Organizational conditions:

Completion of groups taking into account similar problems that children have. Children 6-7 years old. The quantitative composition of the group: 2-3 couples. Cycle of 9 lessons, once a week, duration 60-80 minutes.

Classes are held in the sensory room - the presence of carpeting is required.

Group work tasks:

1. Establishment and development of partnership and cooperation between parent and child.
2. Improving the understanding of parents of their own child, the features and patterns of his development.
3. Achieving the ability to empathize, to understand the experiences, states and interests of each other.
4. Development communication skills and skills of children and their parents.Development of adequate and equal communication skills.
5. Strengthening parents in their own educational opportunities

Class structure:greeting ritual, warm-up, main content, reflection of the past lesson, farewell ritual.

Welcome Ritual. Allows group members to unite, creates an atmosphere of group trust and acceptance.

Warm up - means of influencing emotional condition participants, their level of activity. Sets up for productive group activities.

The main content of the lesson. It is a set of psychotechnical exercises and techniques aimed at solving the problems of the program. It includes a discussion of homework in a circle, exercises related to the topic of the lesson, work with a fairy tale (listening; drawing a plot, illustrating a fairy tale), exercises that help establish contact between parents and a child (conducted in pairs).

Reflection. Children and parents evaluate the significance of the lesson: “What did you learn, what did you discover new for yourself? What did you like?"

Program effectiveness.The child begins to perceive parents in a new way, as allies, because the playing parent tries all the time to understand the child, his feelings, actions, point of view. Such behavior also facilitates the child's acceptance of his own "I", strengthens his faith in the emerging (established) relationships. The child receives support from the parent, learns to correctly assess his abilities, which, in turn, contributes to the formation of adequate self-esteem. Participating in joint games, watching the child, parents see those features that in everyday life often escape their attention. They begin to perceive success and failure differently, learn to cooperate with the child and create something together (first in the game, and then in everyday life). All this contributes to the development of positive interaction, the number of parent-child conflicts is reduced, and parents have a strengthening of confidence in their own educational opportunities.

Thematic planning

Homework topics.

1. Lesson #2

Questionnaire for children:

What is your favorite color (why);

Your least favorite color (why);

When I am scolded, I feel ...;

What I fear the most is…;

I love it when I...;

I like it when my mom (dad) ...;

What animal would you like to become? (why);

My favorite fairy tale...;

I would ask the good wizard about….

Questionnaire for parents:

I am grieving in my child…;

I am happy in my child…;

1. Lesson number 3.

Parents write a mini-essay on the topic "How my child sees me."

Children draw on the theme "My family".

1. Lesson number 4.

Parents: List 5 things your child did that surprised you or were unexpected to you. Now try to find in each act such aspects of the child's behavior that cause you joy, pleasure, inspiration. Determine what in each case seems to you naive in the child's behavior, what reminds you of your own actions in the past, or how much this or that action is typical only for your child, shows his personality. Find those aspects of each child's action that would allow you to say: "I understand why he did it."

For children: remember 5 things your parents did that surprised you or were unexpected for you.

1. Lesson number 5

Children: how are you similar to your parents?

1. Lesson number 6.

Parents.

What would I do if I was 6-7 years old?

What would I do if everything was allowed to me?

What would I do if I were a wizard?

1. Lesson number 7.

Fill in the second column of the table, determine what the child feels when he says the proposed phrases stupid, discouraged, upset, dissatisfied, etc.

1. Lesson number 8.

Parents: Answer the questions for yourself and for your child.

For children: answer the questions for yourself and for the parent.

What animal do you like and why?

What animal do you like and why?

What animal would a wizard turn me and my parents into and why?

Draw your family as animals.

1. Lesson number 9.

List your rights with your child

Games and exercises for conducting classes.

Exercise "Tangle". Work in a circle. The leader, holding a ball in his hands, greets and passes the ball to a neighbor. The one who got the ball greets everyone and passes the ball to the next player, leaving the thread with him. And so in a circle. When the ball returns to the leader, everyone is tied with one thread. "Pull the thread lightly and feel that we are one."

Exercise "What hand does the neighbor have." Children and parents join hands. Right hand top, bottom left. In complete silence, feel which hand (soft, warm, wet, cold, pleasant). Everyone speaks what he feels.

"Acquaintance". Children and parents sit in a circle. Each parent presents his child (what he likes, what he does not like, what his character is). Children confirm the words of their parents. The children then also introduce their parents.

Molecules game. We are atoms, bend your elbows and press your hands to your shoulders. Atoms are constantly moving and combining into molecules. The number of atoms in a molecule is different, it will be determined by the number that I will name. We are now starting to move quickly around the room and from time to time I will call some number, for example - three. And then the atoms must unite into molecules - three atoms each (facing each other, touching with forearms).

Barge game. Participants stand in a circle and, throwing the ball to each other, name words with a certain letter or perform a certain task, i.e. "The barge is being loaded."

"Presentation". Each child, in turn, stands in a circle and talks about his drawing.

Exercise "Game without rules." Parent and child sit next to each other and talk, constantly pronouncing the beginning of the proposed phrase, for example: “I like that you ...” and adding their own content to it. There is feedback.

The game "What's in my name to you?". Psychologist: "Say your name

Proudly;

With joy;

With surprise;

With sadness.

Which sound do you like best?"

The game "Spider Web". Description: the psychologist says that children, like spiders, will now weave a tangled web. Children and adults stand in a circle, hold hands and, crawling under their hands in turn without opening their hands, tangle the cobweb, and then unravel it.

Good news game. Psychologist: “I want each of you to tell us about something pleasant that happened to him yesterday (last week). Moreover, while you are talking, you will have a ball in your hands. When you're done talking, pass the baton of good news, i.e. throw the ball to someone else who is not very far from you. Make sure none of the children are missed.

Question options:

Who has given you the most pleasure lately?

From whom have you heard anything interesting lately?

Who do you admire now?

What problem did you manage to solve recently?

Game "Feather". The players, holding hands, stand in a circle. Throwing up a feather, they blow so that it is kept in the air all the time, without falling. If you blow too hard, the feather is removed and difficult to control; if you blow weakly, the feather will fall and the game will stop. The meaning of the game is to point the feather at one of the comrades: if it falls on the player, he must pay a “fant”. Note: the circle should be small so that the children blow on the feather without straining. You can not separate your hands during the game.

Game "Siamese twins".

Take a thin scarf or handkerchief and use it to tie the hands of children and an adult standing next to each other facing you. Leave your hands free, you will need them. Now tell the players that they have to draw a general drawing on one sheet of paper. You can draw only with the hand that is tied to the partner. Give participants different colored pencils or markers, one in their non-free hand. Set the theme of the picture yourself or invite the children to choose. Warn the players that the jury (that is, you or other adults) will evaluate not only the quality of the resulting picture, but also the course of the work itself: were there disputes and conflicts between the players, whether they took the same part in the work (which is easy to assess by the number in the picture the colors with which the child drew), whether the players discussed the plot of the drawing, the order of drawing, etc.

Note. After the drawing is finished, discuss with the artists whether it was difficult for them to work and whether they enjoyed creating the picture together. You can unobtrusively dwell on the mistakes in cooperation made by them. However, don't forget to note positive sides their communication.

"Headball". In this game, in order to be successful, the child and adult will have to take into account the pace and nature of the movements of the other. Put the pencil in front of the couple. The task of the players is to take this pencil from both sides so that each of them touches its tip with only the index finger. Using these two fingers for two, they should be able to pick up a pencil, carry it to the end of the room and return back. If during this time they did not drop what they were carrying and did not help themselves with the other hand, then you can congratulate the couple on the successful completion of the task. This means that they are capable of being helpers to each other, since they have shown such good cooperation skills with each other.

Variations: players must carry the ball to be carried using only their heads (literally and figuratively). The task with the ball can be performed by three or five people. It really unites the children and creates a friendly, joyful atmosphere. Note. If the child did not immediately succeed in cooperating with other children, then (when his peers begin to complete the task) pay attention to how the pair of players coordinate their actions: they talk among themselves, the fast one adjusts to the slower one, hold hands to better feel the movements of the other, etc.

Etude "Say good things about a friend." At will, a child is selected, he is put in a circle, and everyone says what he likes in this child. The psychologist draws the attention of children to the fact that they do not repeat, gives a model. In their statements, children note the external and internal advantages of the child, give examples of any life situations.

Game Box of Joy. Psychologist: “Now listen to what I brought you. (Shows the children a box closed with a lid. He starts shaking the box, and the children should try to guess by ear what is there). What do you think it could be? Actually, it's candy. But they are not simple. As soon as you eat them, you will turn into wizards and be able to wish adults, parents, children something that will make them joyful. Let's think about what you can wish for ... (Children's answers, for example: let them never get sick; let everyone live well; let everyone be happy, etc.). And then all people will become joyful!”

The game "Mysterious stranger". Psychologist: “I want to offer you a game in which you, as detectives, will have to guess who it is. I will gradually give you more and more clues about the mysterious Mysterious Stranger that I will choose from among you. If it seems to you that you know which of the children I thought of, please do not divulge this secret, but just start smiling ... ". Hints might be: "He has Blue eyes, blonde hair etc."

The game "The spinning top is spinning." Description: the players choose the names of flowers (fruits, vegetables, berries, etc.). One of the children starts the game - spins the top. The driver calls any flower, he must quickly respond, until the top has fallen, and “twist” it. He becomes the driver, the game continues

Good morning game. Psychologist: “Please sit down, forming a circle. Today I brought you a microphone. Each of you in turn will be able to say something into this microphone, and the rest will need to listen to him calmly. Whoever holds the microphone can say to all of us: "Good morning!" and tell him what he is happy about today. He can also tell us what his mood is like this morning, and how the beginning of the day went at his house. Note: The first time you play this game, start speaking into the microphone yourself and then pass it to one of the children. It may happen that someone does not want to say anything. Don't insist.

Exercise "I - You" (acceptance of oneself). Parents and children sit back to back. Calm music sounds. They must feel each other. Then the parent say "I", the child - "you". Then vice versa. And so on in turn.

Exercise "Bell". Children and adults stand in a circle. They alternately raise the top of the right and left hands, connecting them in the center in the form of a bell. They say “Bom” and simultaneously throw their hands down with force. While inhaling, they raise their hands, while exhaling they say “Bom” and throw their hands. The leader sets the pace.

Exercise "Give a smile." Work in a circle. Participants join hands. Everyone in turn gives a smile to his neighbors on the left and right, it is important to look into the eyes. Reflections: How did you feel? What is the mood now?

Exercise "What hand does the neighbor have." Children and parents join hands. Right hand on top, left hand on bottom. In complete silence, feel which hand (soft, warm, wet, cold, pleasant, unpleasant, etc.). Everyone says what he feels and feels.

Mirror game. The group members stand in two lines facing each other, thus breaking into pairs. One person in a pair is the driver, the other is the “mirror”. The driver looks into the "mirror", and it reflects all his movements. At the signal of the facilitator, the participants change roles, then partners.

Exercise "Name". Each participant is invited to give their name and describe themselves with its first letter. For example, Zhenya is cheerful, Lena is affectionate, Tanya is quiet, etc. After that, the participants, at will, repeat all the names with characteristics in a circle.

Shadow game. All participants are divided into pairs (parent with child). The soundtrack of calm music sounds. One person (parent) is a “traveler”, the other (child) is his “shadow”. The “traveler” is walking across the field, and behind him, two or three steps behind, is his “shadow”. "Shadow" tries to copy exactly the movements of the "traveler". After a while, the participants switch roles. It is desirable to encourage the "travellers" to perform various movements: "pick a flower", "crouch", "jump on one leg", "stop and look from under the arm", etc.

Car wash game. Group members are divided into pairs (parent and child). The child in the role of "machine" - the parent in the role of "car washer". The "washer" has his eyes closed or blindfolded. Within five minutes, the “car” is put in order: they wash, wipe, polish, pronouncing all their actions, use as much as possible kind words. The parents then switch roles with the children.

Steam locomotive game. Cheerful music sounds. Participants stand behind each other and hold on tightly. The first person is a "locomotive", all the rest are "cars". The "cars" have their eyes closed when moving. The "steam locomotive" is responsible for the movement of the train so that it does not crash into anything and that the trailers travel comfortably. It is important for each participant to be both in the role of a “locomotive” and in the role of a “carriage”.

After the game, a discussion is required on the following questions:

Which "locomotive" was more caring and careful?

Exercise "We love you" All participants become in a circle. Each child in turn goes to the center, he is called in chorus by name three times. Then they say in chorus the phrase: "We love you." You can call the child some kind of affectionate nickname ("Bunny", "Sunny", etc.),

Relationship building exercise. The exercise is performed in pairs. Calm music sounds. Everyone sits on the carpet (the child and his parent sit with their backs to each other), close their eyes and feel each other. Mom (dad) is big, reliable, warm, strong. Children are defenseless, fragile, vulnerable. Then the parents quietly say to the children: “I love you!” The child replies: "I love you!" - and so on in turn as much as you want. At the end of the exercise, give parents and children the opportunity to express their feelings (hug, kiss, stroke).

The game "Give the signal." Participants stand in a circle holding hands. The host asks everyone to close their eyes and transmits some kind of signal (shake hands twice, raise your hand up, etc.). The one who received the signal to the right or left must pass it to the next in the chain. The game is over when the leader receives the signal he has sent. The game uses the principle of "damaged phone". Repeated several times.

The game "Blind and guide". The exercise is carried out in pairs (parent and child). One of the participants is the “blind”, the second is his guide, who must lead the “blind” through various obstacles, furniture, tables, chairs created in advance, other people can be an obstacle), introduce outside world. The "blind" is blindfolded. The purpose of the "guide" is to lead him so that he does not stumble, fall, or hurt himself. After completing the route, the participants change roles. Further, it is desirable to discuss with the participants the course of the game, to ask how they felt being “blind” and “guide men”, whether they were comfortable in these roles, what they wanted to do during the game, how to change the situation.

Game "Hedgehog". The exercise is carried out in pairs (parent and child). One of the pair "folds" into a ball and maintains position. The task of the second is to expand it, find an approach, create conditions under which the "hedgehog" wants to unwind itself, to establish mutual understanding. Forceful techniques, tickling, persuasion with words are prohibited. Then the participants switch roles. The exercise ends with a discussion.

How are you feeling?

Which role did you like best and why?

Where can these touches be used?

Exercise "Pass in a circle." The group forms a circle. Participants take turns depicting the transfer of some "mysterious" object in a circle, while it is necessary to interact with it in some way. After everyone has the item, the players guess what it was. Anything can be passed: a ball, ice cream, a hedgehog, a kitten, a weight, a baked potato.

Ship game. You need a small scarf (pareo) - this is a ship, a beautiful sailboat. Participants are sailors. One child is a captain. The captain loves his ship and believes in the sailors. The task of the captain is to be at the center of the ship; at the moment of strong pitching, he must give the sailors a command: “Drop anchor!”, Or “Stop, car!”, Or “All up!” To save the ship and sailors. Then the sailors take hold of the edges of the blanket and begin to slowly rock the ship. At the leader's command: "Storm!" - pitching intensifies. The captain is reminded of his task. As soon as he shouts commands in a loud voice, the ship calmly sinks to the floor, everyone shakes hands with the captain and praises him.

"Game without rules". The topic is “I want to warn you ...” (do not talk to strangers, wash your hands before eating, etc.). The child gets the opportunity from the position of an adult who knows a person to teach parents something, to warn them against something. He tries himself in this role, and the parent - in the role of a ward. For a child, this can be a discovery: mom (dad) is also a living (and fragile) creature, not omnipotent, she (him) should be pitied...

Exercise "Live hands". The exercise is carried out in pairs (parent and child). Participants are blindfolded, only hands interact. They “get acquainted”, “fight”, “reconcile” and “say goodbye”. After the game, it is advisable to discuss its course with the participants, ask what they felt, what they wanted to do at various stages, etc.

Exercise "Good animal". All participants stand one after another, they are a “big kind animal”. The host asks to fly, walk, jump, breathe, etc. together. After completing the exercise, the players speak out their feelings.

Game Find Your Pair. The facilitator distributes cards on which the names of animals are written (these names are repeated on two cards). The inscription should be visible only to the person who received this card. Everyone's task is to find their partner. In this case, you can use any expressive means, but you cannot speak and make sounds characteristic of this animal. After the participants find their pairs, it is necessary to stay close and not talk. Only when all pairs are formed, is it checked whether the “animals” matched.

Compliment exercise. Participants form a circle, hold hands. Each participant says a compliment around the circle.

Etude "Blooming Bud". The group sits on the floor and holds hands. It is necessary to stand up, smoothly, at the same time, without lowering your hands. after which the "flower" begins to bloom (lean back, holding each other's hands tightly) and ride in the wind.

"Game without rules". Theme "If you want, I'll tell you what you will be ..." (in five years, in a year, in a day - you will be beautiful, self-confident, strong, kind, you will have Good friends etc.). Parents should not be afraid to program their child for a good life scenario. However, while giving a positive attitude, one must not forget that too often the source of unhappiness is in exaggerated claims.

Questions for parents at the end of class.

Have your relationships changed?

What do you notice about the child's behavior?

What seemed to you the most important and useful in such work?

What did you gain during the training?

Questions for children.

Try to express your experience in a few words.

What did you like most about the classes?

Common question: "What would you wish each other?"

Used Books

1. Bardier G.L. Why does a psychologist look like a cat? M.: Genesis, 2002.
2. Gerasimova T.F. Optimization of ways of interaction between the child and the parent. M.: Genesis, 1999.
3. Grigory N. Program "Connecting thread". / School psychologist, 1999.
4. Dolto Fr. On the side of the child. Yekaterinburg: U-Factoria, 2004.
5. Elizarov A.N. Psychological counseling of the family. - M .: "Os-89", 2004.
6. Vinnikot D.V. Conversation with parents. M.: NF "Class", 1994.
7. Kryazheva N.L. Development of the emotional world of children. Yaroslavl: Academy of Development, - 1996.
8. Osorina M.V. The secret world of children in the space of the world of adults. St. Petersburg: "Rech", 2005.
9. Samoukina N.V. Games at school and at home. Psychotic exercises and correctional programs. M.: New school, 1995.
10. Fopel K. How to teach children to cooperate. Psychological games and exercises / Practical guide M: Genesis, 1999.
11. Chibisova M.Yu., Pilipko N.V. Psychologist at parent meeting. – M.: Genesis, 2004.
12. Shirokova G.A., Zhadko E.G. Workshop child psychologist/ Series "Psychological workshop". - Rostov n / a: Phoenix, 2005.

Yanicheva T.G. Useful book for good parents: Psychologists' answers to parents' questions. - St. Petersburg: "Rech", 2007.