Tips for making friends. How to make friends with people: effective ways and practical recommendations. Individual approach to girls and boys

Making friends can seem difficult sometimes, but often The best way to accomplish this - just go ahead and don't be shy. This article is meant to jump-start the process, giving tips to help you make a new friend in less than a minute.

Steps

The Beginning of Friendship

    Don't forget that, for good or bad, people tend to judge others based on first impressions. It's just a fact of life.

    • Pay attention to your personal hygiene (shower, brush your teeth, freshen your breath) and dress attractively.
    • You don't have to be smart or overdressed; just don't look too sloppy or dirty.
  1. Smile and project a positive attitude.

    • Smiling is kind of a universal sign that you are friendly and your intentions are good. It also suggests that you are a positive person who attracts most people.
    • If you're having trouble smiling naturally, try thinking about what makes you happy.
  2. Quickly choose someone to approach and talk to. Don't pick random strangers, just make sure you know them at least a little and at least know their name.

    • Don't focus on one person, your job is to talk to as many people as possible in the community to increase your chances of making friends with someone new.
    • Don't choose people based on their "attractiveness" or how confident they seem. Your new best friend may not lend itself to any of these descriptions, but may turn out to be a fantastic person. So just walk up to anyone who looks approachable. If the conversation doesn't go through, you can always leave without feeling guilty (see below).
    • Feel at ease, remembering that the people around you are probably just as interested in making new friends as you are.
  3. Start a conversation. If you have already approached this person, it is logical for you to move forward. Almost any remark can start a productive conversation.

    • If the two of you happen to have something in common, start there. For example, "Hey, I think I saw you in my biology class - how do you like this teacher?" Or: "Do you work for Starbucks? I think I saw you there."
    • Start with a compliment that could lead to the question, "Wow, that's a really nice bracelet - where did you get it?" Or maybe "Your hair looks amazing - how do you achieve it?"
    • Start with the eternal question about the weather. If it's hot, say you're burning up and you should sit down for a minute. If it's raining, say that you were planning to go shopping (or biking, or sightseeing, or whatever) but now you have to change plans.
  4. Keep up the conversation. Unless the person is catastrophically insecure or simply not in the mood to talk (which happens), your open behavior will get some kind of response. Be prepared to follow up with additional notes.

    • Try to save interesting information from reading books, magazines and newspapers, watching TV and the Internet. This can turn out to be a lifesaver in a conversation.
    • Talk about yourself and gradually share more details as the conversation progresses.
  5. Be a good listener. This is one of the main things people react to when meeting someone new - when you give someone attention, you make the person feel important and helpful.

    • Making eye contact is the best way to show that you are positive. Don't look into space or at other people, and definitely don't look at your phone!
    • When the person says something or tells a story, respond by expanding the topic and showing that you understand.
  6. So 60 seconds have passed. Were you able to make contact?

    • If not, that's fine. You can't succeed all the time, and people aren't always in the mood to socialize, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable. All you have to do is leave politely ("Hey, thanks for talking, I've got to go! Let's talk later") and then find a new person to talk to.
    • If you made it, that's great! Keep talking for as long as is comfortable, and then when it's time to go, don't forget to exchange phone numbers and/or email addresses so you can stay in touch. Don't forget to follow the messages. It won't necessarily turn into a lifelong friendship, but you won't know that until you take the initiative and talk to the person.

    * No matter how good a listener you are, don't make your interlocutor talk all the time. This is very boring. * Be yourself. There is no point in creating a friendship based on a person who is not really himself. * You won't be able to become close friends overnight with most people, but don't worry; good friendship takes a long time to develop. * Don't wait for an opportunity to make friends - friends will never come on their own. Instead, work hard to create opportunities to initiate contact. For example, if someone needs to go shopping and you also need to go shopping, offer the person a ride. it a great opportunity to talk and get to know people. * If you are embarrassed to speak directly, chat with this particular person on Facebook or other in social networks, but after one conversation, arrange to meet directly for visual contact. * Great time to make friends - a football game or maybe the start of your university career. These are wonderful opportunities to make friends because all the people around you are in the same boat as you. * If the method doesn't work within 60 seconds, don't despair, keep chatting but don't annoy him/her because this is your first conversation with the person after all. * If you want to make friends, you can even put up a "Friends Wanted" poster on the bulletin board at your school, church, etc., and give a few details. It will look a little desperate, but sweet and attractive enough.

    Warnings

    * Compliments can break the ice, but be careful not to sound insincere or fake. Never give a compliment if you actually think otherwise, because people will sense it and your conversation won't stick together. * When you make the first contact with your potential new friend and he's going well, be careful not to overdo it, don't seem too 'sticky'. After you've successfully spoken for 5 or 10 minutes, it's time to exchange contacts and arrange a new meeting soon. * Humor can effectively break the ice too, but it can also backfire. You may think that you are telling an innocent joke, and it may inadvertently offend the person you are communicating with. People may surprise you that they don't find what they do funny, so it's best to use humor carefully and sparingly until you get to know the person a little better.

Everyone needs friends. And not only when we are sad and lonely, but also when we are happy and cheerful - so that there is someone to share this joy with.

There are people who make acquaintances easily, but for some it is whole problem. So how do you make friends with a person? Let's look at different situations and give generalized recommendations.

Why don't I have friends?

Any person, regardless of gender, age and status, can suddenly realize that he can't find friends.

With what it can be connected? First, take a look around.

Most likely, you will find at least one or two people who and wouldn't mind making friends with you, but for some reason you do not notice them or deliberately ignore them. Try to get in touch with them.


If you recognize yourself in something, then in order to make friends, you first have to work on yourself.

Learn about the reasons for the lack of friendships in this video:

How to make friends as an adult?

I want to find people for communication over 50

Age is no barrier to making friends. If you don't know where to start then try the following:

  1. Social networks and dating sites. Here, of course, you should be more careful and not trust too much everyone who writes to you. But it's worth a try. Create an account, write a little about yourself in your profile, tell us about your hobbies: it will be easier to discuss something.

    Try to write to someone yourself: tell them that you are looking for friends to communicate with and try to interest the interlocutor.

  2. Try to find a new hobby. You must definitely like it. Have you ever wanted to go to yoga? Is there an amateur gardening club near your home? Or open cooking classes? Here you have an advantage, because in such places there will definitely be common topics for conversation.
  3. Don't stay at home! This is the most important rule. Where will you get acquaintances and friends if you are within four walls all day long? Try to get acquainted in the store, near the entrance. Start conversations with strangers, just remember to be careful.

How to look for friends in 30 years?

People in their 30s often passionate about career or family and absolutely do not find time to meet with friends.

So gradually the circle of communication becomes smaller and smaller ...

What to do?

  1. Find dating in in social networks.
  2. go to different Events. Theatre, cinema, exhibition, lecture, meeting of interests - it doesn't matter, you can make acquaintances everywhere. And who knows, maybe later it will develop into a strong friendship. The most important rule: don't be shy!
  3. Chat with work colleagues. Undoubtedly, it is important to maintain working boundaries. But if you follow certain rules of communication, you can completely communicate with colleagues, both at work and outside it.

How to find friends? Psychologist's advice:

What to do to make friends with the team?

Whether you've joined a new work team or decided to improve your relationship with your current co-workers, the rules are the same:

  1. Be kind. Do not be rude and do not grumble! Smile, remember names, inquire about the affairs and mood of people, treat them politely. This way you will make a good impression.
  2. Chat with different colleagues. With some of them you will be closer, with someone you will remain at a distance. outstretched hand. However, no one should be ignored.
  3. Don't be arrogant. You should not fawn in front of everyone, but you don’t need to turn up your nose either. Respect yourself, do not let yourself be pushed around, but do not overestimate your price. It turns people off.
  4. Don't gossip. This is the worst thing that can be in a work team. Even if all the other employees are doing just that - never stoop to this.
  5. Be punctual. Everything is simple here: everyone values ​​their time, and no one likes those who are constantly late.

How to join a new team and find mutual understanding? Find out from the video:

How to make friends with a child?

How to learn to communicate at school?

The child cannot find mutual language with other kids at school? Then you should help him:

  1. Teach a child general rules communication. Tell us about how to get to know each other correctly, that you don’t have to be afraid to approach someone, that you need to be polite and that you shouldn’t offend anyone.
  2. Form him positive attitude to yourself and to the world around you. You can't let him think he's worse than the rest. But high self-esteem will not do him any good either. Explain the importance of being kind and respectful to everyone.
  3. Create the conditions for communication between the child and his peers. The earlier you start it, the better. But if you realized this only when problems in communicating with classmates had already begun, then do not despair. Try to organize children's holiday, let him invite the one he wants to visit.

    Invite him to attend some kind of circle: you need to gradually expand the child's social circle, this will benefit him in finding friends at school.

  4. Let the child be free. When he communicates with other guys, you do not need to constantly pull him up and correct him. So he develops a complex. Of course, if there is aggression on his part, then you should take him aside and explain what he is doing wrong. When conflict situation can explain how to reach a compromise. But don't forget that otherwise you shouldn't be overprotective. And even more so, do not indicate with whom he is friends, and with whom not. Give freedom of choice and respect his decision.
  5. Lead by example. All children look up to adults and, first of all, to their parents. Show him that friendship is great, share experiences unobtrusively, talk about situations that happened to you and your friends in childhood.

Is it possible to find a common language with the class?

A child spends most of his time at school and it is very important that he has friends there. What can be done if he does not have them?

How to make friends with classmates? Psychologist's advice:

Build relationships with teachers

Good relationship with the teacher can have a positive effect on the upbringing of the child. After all, it is she who constantly watches him at school, which means she can see if something goes wrong and help, give constructive criticism and useful advice.

But for this it is important what kind of relationship between them is built. And Parents can also influence this:

  • do not criticize the actions of the teacher in front of the child: in this way he will lose authority in his eyes;
  • talk with the teacher yourself, ask him to also take steps towards a good relationship with the child;
  • support the teacher in various organizational moments - this will improve his attitude towards your child.

And remember, the teacher is your companion and partner. It is in your common interest to point the child in the right direction. Therefore, it is worth working together.

Don't pick on high school students

Here you will be helped by the same tips as in the case of classmates. The only thing worth adding is to explain that these guys are older, which means don't get pissed off and it is worth respecting them and taking an example.

Individual approach to girls and boys

An individual approach, of course, has a number of features.

And it depends on the interests and character of the classmate. Here the following can be noted:

  • explain to the child about the difference between the sexes, and what features in communication should be taken into account (that girls are a little weaker physically, while boys, on the contrary, are stronger);
  • if a child complains that he cannot make friends with a particular boy / girl, then try to ask about them and give advice based on the information received;
  • friendliness has never let anyone down and be sure to explain that if a classmate does not reciprocate, you should not be offended and angry, you just need to treat him with respect.

Friendship and fellowship of youth

with the guy you like?

Girls sometimes seem like an impossible task - to make friends with the guy they like. But, if you stock up on patience, then you can count on something more. So, you need:

How to hint to a guy that I like him? Find out from this video:

Be on the same wavelength with classmates

Student years are filled not only with couples, but also with fun activities and new friends. But what if you can't make friends with your classmates?

  1. Fight your shyness. Be the first to approach, start conversations, discuss lectures and seminars. After all, you definitely have common themes.
  2. Be simple. You don’t need to build someone out of yourself - it will definitely open up sooner or later and people will turn away from you.
  3. Don't forget your sense of humor. It will help create about you positive impression. But be careful, jokes should not be offensive.
  4. Be kind and open. Offer your help, for example, with missed lectures or difficult topics.
  5. Be confident. People are drawn to those who exude confidence.

Tips for freshmen: how to make friends? Networking for students:

If you want more tips on making friends then take a look at the following books:

  • Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People;
  • Paul McGee Communication Mastery. How to find a common language with anyone”;
  • Philip Zimbardo "How to overcome shyness";
  • Mark Rhodes "How to talk to anyone";
  • James Borg The Power of Persuasion. The Art of Influencing People” and “Secrets of Communication. The magic of words";
  • Keith Ferrazzi "Never Eat Alone-2. How to find friends and mentors for life.

Internet to help

How to find an online friend in VK? In our age, even the loneliest person may feel better.

After all, there is the Internet, where it is much easier to find friends and make friends. Find sites of interest, register in social networks.

But here there are a couple of tips:

  • use your photo as an avatar, so you will inspire more trust in people;
  • fill out your profile, provide some information about yourself;
  • be sociable, do not ignore the interlocutor and respond once a week to his messages;
  • keep in touch: if they don’t answer you for a long time, write to the interlocutor yourself, ask about his affairs;
  • do not forget about caution, do not be too gullible.

Common interests

How to find real friends, and how to make many friends with the same interests?

In order to find true friends, it will take quite a lot of effort and time. That's why don't dwell on it.

Communicate, be friendly, make many acquaintances, keep in touch. In time you will notice what kind of people stayed with you and with whom you have been through a lot - these are real friends.

Find your best friend

The best friend will always support, give advice or constructive criticism, come to the rescue. But how to find it? In fact don't get hung up on this either..

Make friends with various girls, communicate and you will notice that the relationship with someone is more trusting. This is the best friend.

It's not hard to make friends with a person. You need kindness, self-confidence and a little sense of humor. Be yourself, overcome shyness - you will see how people will reach out to you.


In this article, we will talk about how to get close to a person at the beginning of a relationship. The beginning of a relationship can be compared to the foundation of a house. It is during this period that it is determined what the relationship will be like in the future, so it is important to be especially attentive to each other during this period. In the future, it will be almost impossible to change the nature of your relationship.

openness

Openness is a necessary element of rapprochement in a relationship. How many couples broke up because of a simple understatement: none of the partners had the wisdom to openly declare their feelings and desires. However, there must be a healthy balance in everything - excessive openness can also scare your partner away. At the initial stage of the relationship, it should be avoided. Yes, talking about your feelings (namely, about your feelings, without complaining to your partner) is useful, but you should not say everything that you think about your partner. He needs time to begin to feel comfortable in your company. However, at any stage of the relationship, your partner will want to feel comfortable around you, and excessive openness will interfere with this.

Frequent meetings

They say that people quickly get bored with each other and parting is good for them. However, at the stage of the inception of relationships, it is the frequent presence of a partner in our lives that helps to get closer, get to know a person better and get used to him. Please note that relationships often develop at work, in a student team, on trips. If you met in another place, for example, on, then a common hobby will help you get closer. In summer, it can be ordinary bike rides, or trips to the pool. But you should not “overfeed” your partner with yourself, spending nights away in a cafe talking about your past life. Such attempts to get closer, rather, on the contrary, will repel. In the question " how to get close to a person» There must always be a balance. Remember that if you take too active steps towards your partner, the person’s reaction will be the opposite, that is, he will move away.

Change or change?

As soon as the relationship goes through the first stage of dating, and people get used to each other a little, and begin to behave more naturally, then both partners discover the real image of each other. At that moment, they may realize that they did not know the person who is nearby at all. And perhaps a lot of it wants to change. Often people are under the illusion that by telling a partner about the qualities that you would like to see in him, you will immediately push him to change. In fact, attempts to change something in each other lead to conflicts and partings. The same is true in reverse. If your partner is actively trying to change you, and you are ready to change, just to save the relationship, be prepared for the fact that the victims will be unjustified. And relationships still fall apart. Another thing is that it is simply necessary to make compromises and change your habits in a relationship.

Friends are the second most important people after family in the life of every person. Some of them become even closer than relatives, and it is with them that they share the most secret secrets and experiences. However, unfortunately, not everyone has such friends and acquaintances. Some are unlucky to meet those who can open their souls and completely trust, while others themselves do not know how to find a common language and maintain relationships. It is difficult to understand how to learn to be friends with others if there is no true desire to open up for this.

It is not an easy task and constant work. After all, in order to have real friends yourself, you must be worthy of it. You can't just take and give nothing in return. In any relationship with other people, it is important to understand what exactly they need, to be able to listen. This is not only a guarantee that you will be surrounded by real friends who are ready to help, but you yourself will be able to call yourself a true comrade.

How to become a worthy friend

Some people have a lot of friends, or at least they seem to. They communicate with everyone, maintain relationships, etc. However, it is hardly possible to be friends with several dozen people; most likely, they are just friends or good acquaintances. It is not enough to go to a nightclub together or talk on the phone occasionally. Being close friends takes a lot of time, patience and constant relationship maintenance, finding common themes and "points of contact". There are no established norms on how to be friends, it is individual. But there are some simple actionable advice, which will help build close relationships with other people and develop them:

  • You need to meet with your friends constantly. Communication on the net and on the phone is also not bad, but they can hardly be compared with a live one. In a personal conversation, people share their innermost things more easily, and from this, relationships are strengthened and become closer. For meetings, you need to find any excuse: going to the store together, to the cinema, just for a walk. If you are constantly busy with things, it is worth setting aside a day when you must definitely meet with your buddies.
  • Friends do not become fast, it takes time and a lot. Often you have to go through a lot to understand that someone is truly close.
  • Every person is pleased when they talk about him or listen to what he tells about himself. Therefore, it is important to be able to listen calmly and support when needed.
  • Know how to ask for forgiveness if you are wrong.

These are just some tips, but if you listen to them, you can learn how to make friends correctly. Of course, there are never exactly the same friendships, simply because all people are different and each needs a different approach. Therefore, each path to friendship will be different from the previous ones. With someone you will find a common language from the first minutes, and someone will become close years later. The most amazing thing about friendship is that it is impossible to predict after meeting with whom it will start.

It is also important to understand that not all people have the opportunity to make friends, no matter how much you want. There can be several reasons: differences in interests or values ​​in life, different temperaments, and so on. In this case, you should not be upset, you need to look for someone with whom you will feel comfortable, and friendship will not be a heavy burden for you.

Old or new: which friends are more valuable

Some value friends who have been with them since childhood or adolescence. They believe that these relationships are the most proven and closest. Others, on the contrary, think that new friends need to be made, since a person himself is constantly changing and his environment should also be different. This is a controversial question, and only the person who asks it can answer it.

Often, especially young people, do not understand how to be friends at a distance. They leave for another city, for example, to study, and there they find new friends, forgetting those who were close to them before. This can be explained by the fact that the situation, interests and environment are changing. Therefore, past relationships are moved to the background and eventually completely disappear. Friendship needs to be maintained constantly, it does not tolerate long breaks. This requires wisdom and a desire to maintain relationships.

And yet, is it worth it all the time to find new friends, while sacrificing old ones? Friendship with people can be terminated only in the only case if it is dead, if you no longer have anything in common and your paths have diverged so much that you do not find common topics for conversation. In addition, one cannot call close relationships those in which one humiliates or insults the other. This happens too. You can't stay in a relationship if you feel uncomfortable in it.

In all other cases, friendship must be maintained by all means. No matter how far apart you are, you can always show how dear a person is to you: call, suddenly come to visit for a short time, send a package or write a message. All this is not difficult and does not take much time, but it is so important for the development and maintenance of friendly relations. And it doesn’t matter if you know a person for several years or a couple of months. After all, true kinship is determined not only by blood ties.

Some also invite comrades to be godparents of their children or witnesses at a wedding, etc. to maintain friendship. This strengthens their connection with each other, and also increases the number of reasons for meeting. It often happens that the children of such families also become friends over time.

There are no limits in friendship, it can never be such that it is impossible to develop it even more, to become closer. It is important to be able to forgive yourself and admit your guilt. You need to learn to understand the feelings of others, sympathize with them and empathize. And perhaps the most necessary thing is to be transparent to another person, to be able to open your thoughts to him, trust him and believe in his sincerity.

There can be many acquaintances, but only a few friends. true friendship needs to be developed and supported. The following 25 ways will help you with this.

1. Choose your friends wisely. You don't have to be friends with everyone. Choose friends you feel comfortable with, who help you grow, who inspire you, and who treat you with respect. They say we don't choose our family, but we can choose our friends.

2. Listen. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying to you. Let him know that you heard him. Ask questions, clarify details. Summarize his story. This doesn't have to be verbal, you can also use eye contact or body language.

3. Answer thinking. Think before you speak - especially if you're angry. Sometimes one minute of pause before your speech can undo years of broken relationships. Choose your words carefully and your friends will trust you.

4. Give advice, but don't interfere. If your friend asks you for advice, give it. Perhaps he wants you to appreciate an important email, or he has relationship problems - support him. But do not interfere excessively in the life of your friend and teach him about life; let him make his own decisions.

5. Be honest. Don't try to outplay your friends or they won't want to do business with you anymore.

6. Be sincere. Never pretend to be someone else and don't give up your views to please. Be yourself.

7. Communicate openly and honestly. Trust is very important in a relationship. Offer your help, and don't be afraid to ask for support when you need it yourself. Solve your problems together.

8. Accept your friends for who they are. You are probably looking for friends who can accept you. Remember that they are looking for the same thing. Appreciate those people who love the real you.

9. Respect their choice. This does not mean that you have to agree with every word your friend says. When your friend is about to take what you think is the wrong move, don't stop them, let them make their own choice. If you gave your friend advice, but he decided to do it anyway, deal with it. Remember that each of you has your own life and what is right for you may not be right for your friend. Even if your friend makes a mistake, he can then learn from this experience, draw certain conclusions.

10. Be the kind of friend you want your own friends to be. Be honest, kind, compassionate, fair, sincere. By becoming that person, you will begin to attract the same kind of friends.

11. Be empathetic. Try to see things from your friend's point of view so you can understand them better.

12. Praise. Show love to your friends, give them compliments, praise for good qualities and success. Did your friend do something that made you admire? Let him know!

13. Express gratitude. Let your friends know that you value your friendship. Tell or write to them about it. Did you see the collector's edition of your friend's favorite movie? Buy it and surprise your friend.

14. Know how to admit guilt and apologize. When you do something wrong, admit it. Feel free to apologize. Sometimes it is very important to admit your mistake and say that you are sorry about what happened. In this way, you will make it clear that you are not going to make the same mistake in the future.

15. Know how to forgive. Has your friend hurt you? Did you talk about it? Did you receive an apology? Forgive him and move on. Otherwise, your relationship will gradually collapse. Don't drag your past with you.

16. Make time for your friends. Spend more time with your friends. If they have a very busy schedule, you can mark days on your calendar when you can meet them. Show your friends that you miss you and want to be around. Write them a letter, call or offer to spend the weekend together. The fact that you pay attention to your friends lets them know that they are an important part of your life.

17. Keep your promises. If you know you can't deliver on something, don't promise it. And if you promised something, you must do everything to fulfill this promise. It is better to honestly admit: “I can’t do it” than to refuse at the last moment.

18. Do what you like together. In most cases, friendships begin when people find something in common - a favorite sport, a love of books, an unbearable boss. Go to see your favorite team's soccer game together, or go to a bookstore.

19. Try something new together. What new experiences can you share with your friend? Go to a newly opened cafe or jump on a trampoline if you've never done it before.

20. Have fun together. In friendship, as in any other relationship, sometimes stagnation occurs. This is especially likely to happen if you meet every day and complain to each other. Shake it up. Do something fun, new, pleasant for both of you, you will have happy memories as a keepsake. It's great when you have a friend who can help you break the routine at any time.

21. Seek balance in friendships. You can not enter into a relationship with selfish motives and constantly only take away, without giving anything in return. Help your friends, be loyal to them, support them. Think about what you can do for them to change their lives for the better.

22. Take equal responsibility for friendship. If you live in different parts of the city, arrange to take turns visiting each other. If there is a problem in the relationship, think together about how to fix it. If both parties do not participate in the fate of relations, they will not develop.

23. Be a cheerleader. Don't hesitate to cheer up your friend. If you don't do it, who will?

24. Keep personal information confidential. As the friendship between you and your friend deepens, more confidential information will begin to surface. If a friend reveals a secret to you, it means that he trusts you and believes that it will remain between you. Do not betray your friend, do not reveal his secrets.

25. If necessary, let go. Friendship grows and changes. Sometimes it ends. You can change in just a year. Imagine how much you can change in 10 years. You will never be the person you once were. Your outlook on life is changing. It is possible that as time passes, your friend will take an important place in your life, but perhaps your friendship will weaken. If you feel that you no longer have common interests and talking points, let go of this relationship, do not try to hold on to what is no longer there.