Newborn or infant up to 1 month old

Reasons for constant crying in a breastfed month old baby there is always enough, and not always parents can quickly determine what exactly worries him.

Most often, babies cry when they need food or a diaper change, but there are a number of other reasons.

If the baby screams for a long time without ceasing and it is impossible to calm him down, it is important first of all to make sure that basic needs are met.

You should also measure his body temperature, examine his ears (it is important to press on the tragus: if the baby has developed otitis, after pressing he will start screaming harder), check for colic, determine if the room needs to be ventilated.

If there are no obvious reasons for the infant's cry, nervous overexcitation can be suspected.

How to calm an overexcited baby if he constantly cries? Recommendations to eliminate nervous overexcitation in babies less than one year of age:

It is important to see a doctor if the child cannot be calmed down. Also, a visit to the doctor is necessary if the baby cries regularly for no apparent reason.

hyperactive kid

It is important for parents to be patient and approach all the requirements of the child from a rational point of view, and if necessary, contact a psychologist.

Also, whims can be a way to test how much pressure can be put on parents. Standard situation: tantrum in the toy store. If the parent, unable to withstand the screams, gives up and buys what they want, the child will understand that it works, and then throw a tantrum again.

Tips for calming in similar situations:

• don't change your mind. Stand your ground no matter what happens;
• keep calm. Aggression, perhaps, will help muffle a one-time tantrum, but it will negatively affect the child's psyche;
• offer a replacement. Remind that the child has a wonderful home new toy, say that you will play with him later;
• get out of the sight of the child. A hysterical child needs an audience. If no one is around, he will calm down;
• distract him. Works well with children younger age. Show him his own toy, play with something.

If, for example, a child wants to go to kindergarten in his favorite light jacket, tell him that he will catch a cold because it's cold outside.

Sometimes visualization can help: say that you agree (be sure to focus on the fact that you had to wear warm clothes, because it's cold), and dress him as usual, and on the way ask a couple of times how he feels.

If he complains of discomfort, remind him that he should have put on a warm jacket, but he did not want to. Of course, this should be done in cases where it clearly will not threaten his health.

Before bedtime

Key Tips:

1. An hour or two before bedtime, try to avoid outdoor games, watching cartoons, especially long ones, movies, computer games. Such activities can provoke the occurrence of overexcitation, and it will be more difficult for the child to calm down.
2. Follow the daily routine. If the child is used to going to bed and getting up at the same time, it will be easier to put him to bed.
3. Come up with evening rituals. These rituals can be taking a bath (possibly with herbs), massage, eating certain foods, reading fairy tales aloud.

Even if your family doesn't have any evening rituals, reading a book or a gentle massage can help your child calm down. It is also important not to make a fuss in the presence of a child, not to raise your voice at him.

How to calm down a group of guys?

In kindergarten

How can a caregiver calm mad screaming children?

Screaming crowd of children in kindergarten sometimes it is difficult to calm even an experienced teacher, so some educators may resort to incorrect methods of calming (for example, loud screaming, insults).

1. Keep the kids busy and in control at all times. If the children have nothing to do, and there has not been a change of activity for a long time, they can start to entertain themselves. If the teacher walked away for ten minutes, leaving a crowd of children with an inexperienced student internship, this can also lead to children running and screaming: usually a group that is used to their teacher and his way of working obeys him well.
2. Pay attention to yourself. Speak in a calm voice, make sure it is firm, neither quiet nor too loud. You can draw attention to yourself with the help of musical instruments (hit the drum, ring the bell, play the pipe). Immediately in the process, invite them to play and take control of the situation.
3. Change the activity of the children if it has not changed for a long time. For example, if you delay going out for a walk and let children play on their own for too long, they may start running and screaming.

Avoid being aggressive, keep yourself in control. If you - new caregiver, be patient: it will take time for the children to begin to listen to you.

In the camp

Children in the children's camp more mature and already have formed ideas about what is possible and what is not, so find with them mutual language sometimes easier than with younger children.

Key Tips:

1. In order not to lose control over children, it is important to ensure that they are always busy with something interesting. Offer them new activities more often. It is important to consider the age of children: what will be interesting to children in preteen years may seem stupid to teenagers.
2. Let them go wild for a while to relieve internal tension, but make sure that the games do not go beyond adequacy.

   It is important that the most lively guys are on time, and then it will be easier to maintain control.

3. From the very first hours of communication with the squad, set the right tone, define the rules. Keep your voice strong, but not loud or aggressive.
4. During calming down, you can also use sound signals: many counselors have a whistle hanging around their necks for this purpose. If there is no whistle, you can clap your hands to get attention.

It is always easier to make decisions based on the situation, therefore, teachers, including educators and counselors, It is important to be able to adapt to any circumstances.

How to find an approach to an introverted child? find out right now.

How to calm a child and stop tantrums? Learn about it from the video:

Undoubtedly, The best way to calm a newborn baby is to feed him. But it's important to understand that crying is a child's way of communicating any problem they have, not just hunger. In the first two weeks, no mistakes can be made - everything you do is right. Offer your baby the breast as often as you see fit.

Food is not the only way to soothe a newborn.

Starting from the 3rd week, try to calm the baby not only food. If the baby is gaining weight well, if after feeding he falls asleep happy, but after half an hour wakes up crying, he is unlikely to be hungry again. Breastfeeding or bottle feeding for any reason can cause the baby to:

- falls asleep only with breast or bottle in mouth.

— Eats a little all day, and tend to do the same at night, respectively, he wakes up more often.

— Eats little and often, which means it does not get to the more fatty and nutritious "hind" milk, which contributes to the baby's sleepy state. "Hinder milk" also balances carbohydrates (which are rich in "fore" milk), which means it reduces the likelihood of gas and colic, which also has a positive effect on restful sleep.

If very little time has passed since the previous feeding, and the child is not satisfied, do not rush to feed again: check the diaper; make sure the child is neither cold nor hot; remember when he slept - maybe he is awake for more than 2 hours?

Ways to calm a newborn.

Try one of the following ways to calm your child:

1. Rock in a stroller or crib, walk around with a baby in your arms. newborn babies still remember the sensations they experienced in the womb when the mother moved. Swinging for babies is familiar, and therefore soothing. But you should not rock the child too hard. In this case, there is too much stimulation vestibular apparatus, and the brain simply turns off the response to external stimuli. At this moment, the child goes into a stressful sleep, which allows you to protect his tender nervous system, but does not carry a good rest and recovery, so necessary for the children's body.

2. Turn on soothing music for newborns, “white noise”. Or simply turn on the water in the bathtub and bring your child closer to the water stream. Monotonous soft slow sounds are very effective and help to quickly calm the newborn.

3. Shout, sing softly

4. Make a light massage with your fingertips, stroke the baby

5. swaddle- many children at this age feel more comfortable and calmer. This gives the child a slight squeezing sensation - the same as they experienced while in the stomach and soothes the child before bed. Choose clothes and a diaper based on the fact that it is important for the child not to overheat. By the way, some children do not like swaddling from birth. And don't insist.

6. If the baby is older than 6 weeks and there are no problems with lactation, offer your baby a pacifier. Opinions and recommendations regarding pacifier use are constantly changing based on more and more new research. But, in particular, there is an opinion that the nipple not only satisfies the baby's sucking instinct, but also reduces the risk of sudden infant death in the first 6 months.

7. Combine ways. Swaddle your baby, turn on white noise, dim the lights and rock baby on hands. Several ways together will help to calm a newborn baby more effectively than one thing alone.

8. If nothing works - feed again(if the baby made a couple of sucking movements and calmed down, it means that he was still not hungry, and just soothes the chest or bottle)

If nothing helps to calm the child

In a situation where within 10 minutes one way to soothe a newborn baby doesn't work, try another. If you "have reached the boiling point," let someone else continue to soothe the child - dad or grandmother. If you are alone at home and the baby continues to cry, put the baby in the crib and give yourself 2-3 minutes to catch your breath. remember, that emotional condition mothers are perfectly read by the baby.

For a child who does not yet speak, crying - the only way Tell your parents about your needs and concerns. Even experienced mothers and fathers who already have two or more children sometimes do not know how to calm a newborn when he cries, because the children are not alike. Try to keep your composure and try different ways You are sure to find one that is perfect for your little one.

Why is it important to manage your feelings? The child has established an emotional connection with you even before birth and is sensitive to the state of the mother. You can’t worry and be horrified or show discontent - the problem is only in misunderstanding, and sooner or later it will disappear. Make a promise to yourself to always approach your child in a positive way. state of mind because he is counting on you. You will see: the more you communicate, the less often, quieter and shorter will be bouts of bad mood.

A newborn never cries unnecessarily. Crying cannot be ignored! It is not useful for the lungs or "hardening of character" - it loosens the nervous system of the baby, who begins to doubt the friendliness of this world. A dangerous consequence of a long hysterical cry is an umbilical hernia.

Food, environment and related issues

Not all children easily adapt to external conditions. For the initial adaptation of the immature digestive and nervous system, three months after birth must pass. The most common time of "bad mood" during the day is from 16 to 20 hours. Let's take a closer look at the different causes of anxiety.

Hunger and feeding

How to calm a newborn if you don't know the reasons yet? Logic will help. For example: if you have a relatively well-established meal schedule, you can guess when the baby wants to eat, and when he just calls you. If, while you were feeding him, he ate a little, and then woke up earlier than usual, he is hungry, he needs more. A diary of observations will help you fix such moments: at what time and how the child cries, what pacifies him.

Breastfeeding is a great way to calm your baby, but he can tear himself away from food and scream loudly.

To calm a newborn baby, it is not necessary to feed him right away - try to shake him for a while. He will either console himself and fall asleep, or show that he really wants to eat (for example, he will begin to actively suck his fists).

By motion sickness, we mean a slight wiggle of small amplitude, and not a “hoot” down, as some grandmothers like to do. Also, do not shake the baby - it is dangerous for his health and even life. Due to a proportionally large head and incompletely formed vessels and nerves, all this is fraught with serious problems with the nervous system and vision, and can even cost lives.

To make sure your baby is getting enough food, weigh him regularly, monitor his weight gain, and if needed and advised by your pediatrician, increase the amount of feeding. When feeding with an adapted milk formula, crying comes from thirst, so you should have a bottle of drinking water with you.

Colic and bowel movements

The word "colic" is not from the word "stab", but from the Greek "colon pain" ("kolikos"), that is, pain in the digestive system due to accumulated gases. This usually happens after the last feeding, late in the evening. Here are a few signs that you can recognize colic in children:

• piercing, interrupted screams;
• red face;
• clenching fists;
• pressing the legs to the stomach, followed by a sharp straightening;
• swollen, "hard" abdomen.

Intestinal spasms associated with gas formation occur at 3-4 months of age, more often in boys than in girls, and, as a rule, in first-born children. Intestinal colic can occur in a baby if his mother is anxious or has eaten something wrong.

You can calm the baby with colic in this way:

• put a diaper or a bag filled with flaxseed on your stomach (after ironing it with a hot iron);
• hold the baby vertically, swear a little - until you burp;
• with a warm hand, stroke the tummy clockwise, from the navel, gradually increasing the circles, then put the baby on the stomach;
• "frog": feet are connected, knees bent to the sides (facilitates the discharge of gases and feces);
• "bicycle": taking the legs of a lying baby, make them circular motions in the air;
• thigh massage;
• after feeding - dill water or a pharmacy remedy for colic.

Parents talk about another unusual way: if you put a child in a sling or simply put him with his tummy on your stomach, then the skin-to-skin contact - the same as immediately after childbirth - improves the mood and well-being of the baby.

A child may cry when urinating, and if this happens systematically against a background of fever, this is an inflammation of the bladder, and it's time to call a doctor.

Crying during bowel movements can be caused by formula feeding. Try to help a little by lubricating the sharp end of the thermometer vegetable oil by inserting it into the anus of the newborn and moving back and forth. The baby will certainly feel better.

Discomfort

It is important for your baby to know that he is taken care of and will provide him excellent conditions for life. Sometimes it is enough to hold him in your arms so that he calms down, and peacefully talk to him, affectionately and confidently looking into his eyes (eye contact is important). But how to calm a crying baby if he just does not like the environment and his own feelings?

If nothing helps to comfort the child, and at the same time you notice obvious changes in his appearance or behavior for 2-3 days - most likely, he fell ill. Take his temperature and show the doctor. If the cries are monotonous and monotonous, and during breaks the baby looks lethargic, if the fontanel on his head swells even in a calm state, the doctor should be called immediately.

Psychological features

Often the baby screams just to call you. The crying call is usually short and repeated after pauses. After shouting a little, your child is waiting for a reaction. If no one approaches, the “signal” sounds again and again a pause. Each time, the volume of the call increases, but as soon as he realizes that they are coming to him, the baby calms down.

Talk to your child more often, take him in your arms: perhaps he is upset because he is lonely and wants to communicate.

Cry protest is easy to recognize: it appears immediately when you do something obviously "unpleasant" - changing clothes, cleaning your nose or ears. Since you can't stop doing it, after the procedure, cuddle the baby or do something else that usually brings him joy.

Excitable children scream for a long time, with angry intonations. How to calm a child so that his peculiarity does not become torture for himself and for the whole family?

• Create a friendly atmosphere: as few visitors as possible, a quiet room, quiet conversations, subdued lights, measured and smooth actions in daily care.
• Give me a pacifier.
• Try to swaddle the baby tightly so that he does not frighten himself with chaotic movements of the legs and arms.
• Hug and rock the baby more (it is possible to soft music or a song performed by you).

One of the main causes of an inconsolable roar is ordinary fatigue. Long wakefulness (especially among a large number acquaintances or not so familiar people), a day rich in events - all this leads to a nervous overstrain. Please note: if a child cries at the end of each period of wakefulness, he is probably very tired. "Give a walk" - not the most best idea: instead of getting tired and sleeping, as adults do, the child cannot fall asleep from overexcitement.

What you need to do to calm the child before bed:

• stop playing, do not entertain, do not communicate too intensely;
• ventilate the room (ideally - humidify the air in it);
• shake on your hands or in a stroller (you can walk rhythmically and sing along);
• put in the crib and give a pacifier.

The “ritual” (the same sequence of actions) that precedes sleep helps well. For example: feeding - bathing in a warm bath - laying down - turning on a night light and a lullaby - sleeping.

If all irritating factors are eliminated, the child is healthy, but cries for no particular reason - perhaps he is just tired or just makes himself felt by the fragile nervous system. But what if you need to calm the child quickly?

Harvey Karp technique and other methods

In the first three months of life, children are in great need of such conditions that would remind them of life before birth, in the womb. Tightness, measured shaking, the sounds of the mother's body - create these conditions for babies, and they will gain a feeling of comfort at the level of instinct. This condition is called the "fourth trimester of pregnancy."

The most difficult thing is to appease babies from birth to three months. This is well known to experienced pediatricians and child psychologists. One of them, American doctor of medicine Harvey Karp (Harvey Karp), wrote the book "The happiest baby on the block", where he outlined his five-step technique for "turning off" baby crying.

Here are five tricks Harvey Karp has been teaching parents for 20 years. True, the doctor himself emphasizes that the techniques have been used for centuries, and he simply generalized this experience.

• Swaddling tight. Handles along the body. A "stiffness" similar to what the child felt in the womb, with which he could even fall asleep, will return him a sense of security.
• Create white noise. Most newborns fall asleep perfectly to the steady sound of a household appliance or water. "White noise" - an imitation of the sounds of the mother's body. You can “make noise” yourself: bending over to the child’s ear, say “h-h-h” and “sh-sh-sh” - no less loudly than he screams.
• Lay down. Children should sleep on their backs, but they can be calmed down in a position on their stomach or on their side, slightly face down. You can put the baby on your arm with your tummy (dads do it especially well).
• Rocksick. Position the baby in your arms, head in your hands, face down, and rock. Wiggles should be fairly fast, unsharp, with a small amplitude. Let the baby feel the "shaking" similar to what he felt when his mother walked during pregnancy - this will help him relax.
• feed. This is one of the most effective ways. And if the newborn is lying on his stomach, put a finger or a pacifier in his mouth (the sucking reflex must be satisfied). If the nipple spits out, you need to pull it a little, as if taking it away - the child will try to catch it.

These methods help to calm the baby in 5 minutes. Once again, we remind you that they are suitable for babies up to three months. To calm an older child, you will need to distract him. For this purpose, such methods are suitable.

• Sling. Here, from the list of Dr. Karp - and swaddling, and measured shaking when walking, and "white noise" (for example, street noise). And, of course, maximum closeness to mom.
• Switching attention. After three months, the baby can fix his attention on bright colors and clear sounds that interest him and distract him.
• Dancing together. Smooth movements, the quiet purring of a simple tune, a smile and a conversation can work wonders. Then briefly give a breast (bottle, nipple).

The natural need of a child is to be near you and tell you about all his problems. How to calm a baby? Do not keep him from screaming - sometimes he just needs to "relieve stress", but not alone. Let him "say what hurts" to get rid of negative emotions, but at the same time, do not deprive him of care and quickly do everything possible to return the crumbs to a sense of happiness. Crying gives you new ways to understand your baby's needs and show your love for him.

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Why do babies cry? Every mother who has listened to the signals of a newborn understands that crying does not happen just like that. He is motivated, and children are initially non-capricious. They are trying to get through to us, and we understand them or not, that is the question. That is why it is unacceptable for us to give a crying baby a pacifier. It will cover his rational face! How then to understand it? As a rule, we do not engage in distraction either. After all, it is necessary to distract him from some urgent need or need, and is it not easier to simply satisfy it. Children do not want a "star from heaven", what they really want is what they need for life and growth. And the vocabulary of these "needs" is actually very simple.

Method number 1. Give breast on demand

When a baby is hungry, he makes it easy and accessible to understand. He either begins to suck his fist or makes search (slightly grunting) movements with his nose, as if hoping to stumble upon his mother's nipple. At the same time, he can sigh angrily and "stick" something, tapa "a-ha, a-ha, a-ha." Of course I give him breast, he eats and calms down. And not always only when he wants to eat, sometimes when he is tired, upset or anxious. Because, in addition to food, the breast gives powerful calm, not only, by the way, to the baby, but also to me, which is not unimportant if I am nervous.

In my children, with prolonged sucking, the heart begins to beat more calmly, breathing slows down, the body relaxes, not only pleasure, but also deep relaxation. In some books you will find advice, such as "do not teach your baby to hang on your chest for 40 minutes, eat and have enough, take out your chest, give a pacifier" (see Dr. Komarovsky). Of course, all felt-tip pens are different in taste and color. I decided that my babies will not eat a pacifier, and not only because "this is the right way to rubber woman", but also because it’s not a pity for me to give them a breast. The baby focused on the nipple outwardly "gets dumb", he is in an autistic state (I'm talking about the state, not about the disease), he is not here. The baby focused on the chest is completely dissolved in communication with mom.For mom, this can be difficult (then the method will not work), or it can be easy and joyful: this is a pause in the middle and end of the day, relaxation, a time when she restores a delicate connection with the baby and even time to read for her own pleasure, oddly enough ("He enjoyed it so much and it didn't cost me anything"). I read a lot of wonderful books about babies and children while I was breastfeeding. Reading fiction seemed somehow impolite to me. This is how you become well prepared in matters of natural and conscious parenthood (these are two little different traditions parenthood, developed in opposition to the "norm" built on the routines). But in general, if everything is fine with breastfeeding, then there is no more free way to calm the baby in the world. After all, there is a big difference in walking and pumping and in being comfortable to sit or lie down and feed. My eldest daughter did not need motion sickness at all, but she could hang on her chest indefinitely. What a freebie it was! With some skill, you can learn to breastfeed during the day without looking up from your own food, and at night - almost without waking up and without experiencing difficulties from this. And the child will receive plenty of maternal love.

Method number 2. to plant

If you have never planted, then you will be surprised how much anxiety in babies of the first three months is caused by "toilet" affairs. During this period, their “business” is quite often not rhythmic. A baby may not pee for 2 hours while walking in a sling, but when you come home you will get five pee in half an hour. He may not poop for several nights in a row, and then give you a "fun" night with poop and "preparation" in front of them. He can poop twice a day, maybe six, or maybe ten, and each time it is exciting to prepare for this. Toddlers may become anxious and even cry very intensely before peeing and try to tell you to help him. After peeing, they may cry if they were not understood. Before pooping, they can calm down, freeze and be especially focused, or they can cry, trying to tell you to undress them, undress them, pull them out.


The disembarking mother, responding to this anxiety with actions, reduces the need for crying, instead of sobbing, the child grunts, the mother understands him and he does his own thing. It is important that the mother sees what motivates each particular cry: she does not try to call the doctor and does not consider the child capricious, she does not try to swaddle or distract him. It is useless to distract the attention of a person who wants to go to the toilet. You can, of course, talk to him if you pull him out of the sling or run to the nearest bushes (in summer) or home (in winter). Children (even newborns) somehow understand the mother's message "we'll be there soon" and endure. But in the end, he should not be reassured, but planted. If, by the way, the child started crying because they did not understand him about the toilet, then it is already useless to land. It is necessary to calm down in another way (give breast) and wait until he relaxes. It is important that in this case we do not rock the child (this knocks down the instinct), but let him satisfy the need. I don't know how you will deal with this. disposable diaper, apparently, you will form a stable reflex of ignoring your bodily impulses (piss for yourself, do not cry). At first, children will be worried, then they will get used to it, of course. It's just that you won't know when he's worried about the toilet and when it's for another reason.

Method number 3. Pick up (carry on hands, give body-to-body contact)

"Nine months in the mother, nine - on the mother." This postulate of natural parenting is built on the need of the baby "not to be alone." There are many reasons for this, but I physiologically feel the desire not to tear my child from the body ahead of time. It is extremely organic for us to feel the breath and heartbeat of each other, to constantly touch and be in uninterrupted communication.

Of course, we are talking about wearing "on demand". Sometimes the baby cries just because lost, lost in a space too big for him, surrounded, lost his mother. Mother should be around from the point of view of his survival, this is justified. Of course, the "mom" can be another caring member of the family - a grandmother or a father. You can change the handles, the question is that they are relatives and friends. And that they always be. Dolnik in "The Naughty Child of the Noosphere" has a wonderful tale on this subject, which I always remember when it is difficult for me, if the baby "watches" my presence every minute, "does not let go" even to go to the toilet or take a shower (as a result, everything you quickly learn to do this without taking the baby off your hands and this also promotes contact and synchronization). Imagine that two mothers with babies are walking through a primeval forest. They put their babies on the ground and went to the bushes "on business". One of the kids yelled immediately, the other half an hour later. What do you think, the sarcastic Dolnik asks, which of them left his mark on evolution? After this ingenuous question, the answer to which is obvious (in the primeval forest of the one who silently lay on the ground for half an hour was eaten in the same half an hour), I immediately feel better. We, Dolnik concludes, are the descendants of those people who yelled at once. I look at my child and laugh: "You will definitely leave your mark on evolution." Roughly speaking, the faster the child yells when he lost his mother, the greater his impulse to life (survival). Of course, over time, he learns to be in a calm state in a safe familiar environment (for example, on his "rug", at home). But it takes time to even get used to this environment. Just somewhere around 3-6 months, and until that time, the safe environment for him is his mother.

Method number 4. Wear in a sling

It happens that strangers who see me with a baby in a sling on the street say: "Your baby probably never cries." Unfortunately, sometimes she cries. But the habit of using a sling from the first days (I use a sling from 9-10 days after giving birth, when I actively start my "economic" life at home and walks, before that I manage to carry it on my hands) leads to the fact that the sling sometimes becomes an independent way of calming down. not reducible to mother's hands.

Hands are beautiful, but firstly, they get tired, and secondly, mothers often need them free, especially when she has another small (albeit grown up) child. The sling, as it were, swaddles the baby, creating for him the usual "cocoon" of safety. As a result, the crying baby sometimes subsides already in the process of winding the sling. This happens in those cases when I managed to feel it in time (one step before the disorder). tiredness and desire to sleep. If she missed the right moment of the optimal load and brought her to hysteria due to hyperexcitation, excess of impressions or fatigue, then it will be difficult to wind up, but immediately after winding, the active rhythmic movements of the mother or a rhythmic walk will quickly calm the baby. A baby up to three months will mostly sleep in a sling, later he learns to stare and stay awake from there. Still, from the point of view of "free" sling is in second place, it is second only to calming on the chest. After all, unlike motion sickness, it leaves your hands free and allows you to do other things in parallel. For example, playing with an older child, walking with him, shopping or doing housework, and even (sitting on a fitball) working at a computer. Wearing in a sling also good remedy soothe the baby during colic, as it "relieves" excess tension in the child's abdomen through body-to-body contact. At the time of acute colic, breastfeeding may not work and the sling really saves the situation.

Method number 5. Take a bath or shower

We actively use water to relieve stress. And passively use water to relieve stress. For example, if at 6 or 7 in the morning in Moscow in the winter the baby woke me up on his big “business”, and after that he worries and does not fall asleep: he spins neither here nor there and his chest does not calm him down and it’s just not normal to stay awake maybe, but I want to sleep (for the life of me), then I take him in my arms and quietly crawl into a hot bath. I light a candle or a small lamp in it, collect pleasant water and lie in it with the baby (he is on my stomach or on my back, my legs are partially lowered into the water). I doze. I wait until he knocks on his arms and legs in half an hour, finishes big or small things (I drain the water, of course, if “big” things happen) and crawl into bed, where I give out my chest. After that, I was provided with another 1-2 hours of deep sleep. If the baby did the same in the morning of a warm spring day by the sea, I have breakfast (even at 6 am) and go for a walk with him so that I can go to bed early in the evening and synchronize our rhythms. That is, the matter is in my comfort, which I will pass on to the baby in any case.

If I myself don’t want to sleep and I’m ready to exercise physically, and the baby is nervous, then I don’t climb into the bath with him, but simply fill it with comfortable water (30-36 degrees) and bathe him with wires like “we bathe the baby in a big bath” . This gives him a distraction and a load, after which comes deep sleep. In this case, the baby rarely poops into the water, so you can not drain the water for several hours, but simply add hot water and bathe him again if nervousness resumes. He cried - if feeding and disembarking do not pass - into the bath - rested - into the bath, etc. This is for the long Moscow winter days, when the walk does not occupy the central part of the day.

Method number 6. Rock the baby ("Help me sleep!")

We specifically do not write about this method as the first, because motion sickness is not logical to apply if the child is hungry, wants to pee or poop, and even in each case if he is "lost" and wants to be in his mother's arms. This is what you need to do if other needs are "not visible", and the child is nervous and clearly does not want to be actively and calmly awake, therefore, tired. Sleep is usually the result of motion sickness. We didn’t have to rock our daughter at all, but the kids are different and we had to exercise with our son. There are so many great ways to get motion sickness that we want to dedicate a separate post to them. Here we can simply list them. The most efficient is simple rocking on your hands or on a fitball.

The ball is beautiful, it is especially good for those who do not get sick every day, but from time to time, for example, for grandparents. Rocking on the ball does not require a special flair for the baby, it just "takes the rhythm." I prefer (if possible, if the baby accepted it) swing on a hammock because it relieves the back.

Husband (Sasha) when he is motion sick, dancing. He takes dynamic music (such as "7-40") and does not hesitate to turn it on loudly, after which he jumps from the heart. The baby falls asleep by the end of the 2nd or 3rd song. He holds the baby vertically "in a frog" in the manner of a sling. I most often dance in a sling, because after this method it is not always possible to put the baby down so that he sleeps, it is easier to leave him to sleep in a sling. It is obvious to us that an adult rocking a baby, first of all, rocking himself, he transfers himself into an altered (by rhythm) state of consciousness, in which, due to his body (breathing, relaxation, turning off consciousness from everyday problems), he “turns off” or relaxes the baby. If the mother has enough physical activity or there is the possibility of long walks, and also if she is on a lot of fresh air, motion sickness to the kid usually is not required. We believe that motion sickness is more "demanded" by children born in cities in the autumn-winter period.

Sickness also riding in a car. You need to choose routes with a monotonous ride, preferably without traffic jams (otherwise, with an annoyed baby, you can get into a very unpleasant situation when he cannot sleep). You need to get used to taking the baby out of the car. Most often, mothers carry the baby along with the chair. I can’t do it (and our cradle in the car is too heavy for this), I take the baby out of the chair and carry it in my arms. To do this, you need to take into account the phases of sleep. You can transfer in the phase of deep sleep, when breathing is deep and the body is relaxed. If you try to move it to the phase of REM sleep (the phase of dreams, when the body twitches, the baby moves and squeaks), then he will wake up. Therefore, if I arrived at a place in the REM sleep phase, then I still drive around for some time, I wait until I fall asleep soundly. Sleep phases alternate approximately every 45 minutes. That is, every 45 minutes of deep sleep, a short (7-10 minutes) phase of REM sleep occurs. If you "sway" during REM sleep, then you can safely rest the next phase of deep sleep (without rocking). The same goes for sleeping in a sling. It is in the phase of deep sleep that you can cook soup, watch a movie or work at a computer, in between it is better to pump up. All this applies to a greater extent to a grown-up baby, since in the first three months babies already sleep most of the day, it is not necessary to “guard” their daytime sleep. It is also important that in one of these dreams, mom chooses the time to relax herself, otherwise she will run out of steam by the end of the day.

Method number 7. Calm down mom

The limitation of the carrying method is that the hands convey the calmness of a calm mother and the nervousness of a nervous or angry one. This is not a reason, if the mother is upset, tired or angry, to deprive the baby of physical contact. Then he will be even more lost, because he will still feel the discomfort of his mother and the disturbing situation.


But this is an occasion to shift attention from the excitement of the baby to what is happening with the mother. My husband and I noticed interesting fact. Sometimes, if I cannot calm the child (of course, not at the moment of a sharp cry, but at the moment of protracted and tiring nervousness), then it helps the child if the husband gives me a foot massage (the baby lies either on me or next to me). The meaning is simple: you can relax your mother and the baby will automatically relax. Regularly send mom to a bath or pool, for example (I do this with kids). Arrange for mom relaxation in any acceptable form. We use the Reiki method (for mom) if we feel that the "degree of nervousness" in the house is going through the roof. This allows not only to reduce the excitement of children, but also to save them from unwanted diseases during infancy.

Method number 8. Warm up or "ventilate" the baby

Here we are talking about the optimal temperature regime and its regulation. The baby will worry and even cry if he is cold or hot. This is not a reason to keep a constant thermostat around it with the same +26 degrees. This will lead to low adaptability. We try to give the baby to try different things in the first months of life. It is colder - warmer - at home in clothes - at home without clothes - on the street in different weather in a sling, on your arms or in a stroller, etc. To breathe cold and warm air. We give it a try and see what happens. For example, the skin of our babies clearly reacts to overheating. Even at +24 degrees at home, she can give prickly heat if the child is dressed and sweats in clothes. The skin reacts before they start to cry. Therefore, we react to overheating more by the skin than by crying. On the contrary, sometimes the child may cry when he is cold and "asks" to be wrapped up. One of our friends said that her newborn daughter: “Crying after bathing, enjoys swimming, and then, when we unfold the towel to wipe it, she starts crying, it’s cold for her. there is no crying." For us, the solution is obvious - why unfold such a child from a towel? They wrapped it on the chest, the towel itself will dry inside. If this girl does not like contrasts, why should she arrange them. Some babies rub with pleasure, but pleasure is primary here.

Method number 9. Talk to baby

From the first day, I noticed that Nikita calms down better if you talk to him, looking him straight in the eyes. Much better than, for example, motion sickness. "What are you talking to him about?" friends and family asked me. "Of course, about past lives," - I said - "I ask him to remember more."

Well, you can and should also talk with newborns about everything, explain to them what is happening. Say that they are in their home, among their family. Talk about this family. It is not necessary to lisp, but to speak targeted, looking into the eyes. Not in the "radio that broadcasts by itself" mode, but in the contact mode. They understand, and it is useful for us to learn to treat them like human beings. And they even believe us and calm down.

Method number 10. Apply dynamic gymnastics, massage or other bodywork practice

Let's say right away that we did not use dynamic gymnastics (the author of which was Leonid Kitaev) technically and extensively, since it requires great physical strength from mom or is entirely entrusted to dad. But, saying this, we are of course cunning, because in the terminology of Leonid Kitaev, any mobile practice for contact with the child, within the range of movements acceptable for the parent, is a kind of dynamic gymnastics.

I didn’t want to somehow twist, hang and toss my babies in the newborn period and the period up to 3 months, maybe because they did not suffer from increased tone or colic (which is very well removed by such practices). But my son has grown to 3.5 months and 7 kg and has become so strong and strong kid that I felt that his need for movement was greater than his own capacity for movement and coordination. How does it manifest itself? He cannot lie on his back for a long time (boring), he rolls over, but he still cannot crawl and is nervous about this, making jumping swaying movements with his whole body, as if he wants to, but cannot crawl forward. As a result, he cannot lie down at all: he “worked” for 10-15 minutes, “plowed”, as they say, and again on his mother. Of course, 3.5 months is normal early for crawling. But this particular kid, quick-witted and very mobile, albeit without tone, clearly shows that he wants more. Well, son, let's fly then. At the same time, mom pumps up triceps and biceps ...

Method number 11. Adjust environment

And, of course, we leave the most important for dessert. In addition to operational needs, there is an emotional (and eventful) background. Here, of course, you can say just about the habitat. Sometimes, if the child is crying, it is enough just to turn the music on (if it never plays in the house) or turn it off (if it always plays in it). But in general, here we are talking more about a favorable or unfavorable situation in the house, events in the life of parents and especially mothers. And often the baby is the most sensitive creature in the family, because he still cannot lie (even to himself). And then he signals that there is a trouble from which he (or his mother) needs to be pulled out. For example, sometimes I do psychological consultations when my child is in my arms (in a sling). And I notice that the baby begins to "swear" and "get nervous" if something is wrong with the consultation. Roughly speaking, when a client (partner) is lying. Baby is the perfect lie detector. He does not tolerate turbidity in situations and relationships. As soon as the consultation goes through a "muddy" topic and catharsis sets in, the baby calms down and usually falls asleep. It can be judged in different ways whether the place for babies is at the work of the mother. We will write about this separately sometime, and probably quite soon. But I (Lena Pavlova) have to work with my children - shoot, edit, teach, consult, make payments, write posts or reports. And I've learned to trust them. If they are nervous and their immediate needs are met, I look for the cause in the environment. They are sensitive to conflicts in the home and will be anxious "before" the adults make a fuss, as well as "after" the conflict seems to be over and the adults walk around irritated. And also on the eve of dad's bonus at work or before the car breaks down. Do not think that you can do anything with a baby that he is small and does not yet understand. He understands the deep non-verbal aspect, perhaps understands more accurately than adults. If you go to visit a hostile family, do not be surprised that when you return home you will find a baby sprinkled with a rash, for example. This understanding of auspicious and inauspicious places is especially clearly seen in travel, we wrote about it. And, if you trust the child as a partner and clean up the dregs around you, then, in the end, you yourself will become healthier and keep the child sensitive. After all, the capabilities of the baby are redundant and what is used is preserved. His gut will be useful to him in life, for it there are many areas of application in various specialties.

Method number 12. Adjust rhythms and routines

As you understand, we, like other natural parents, live in a mode on demand. Wants a breast - receives. Wants to write or poop - planted. Wants to sleep - put. Wants to "walk" - let's stay awake, but do not entertain if it happens at night (knock your feet as much as you want, I'll sleep side by side) and keep company if it happens during the day. Gradually, some rhythms appear, quite flexible. By three months, some natural analogue of the regime is formed. We know how many times a day our baby prefers to eat, poop, sleep. In order for this rhythm to appear, we, together with the baby, have done a lot of work during this time towards each other. He signaled to us with all his might, when he was not understood - he cried. And we listened. In soft or hard form, it is already in its sensitivity or busyness. If we tried to understand, he tried to amplify his signals. It is important that the sooner our reaction to the first "requests" came, the less he had to cry. Optimal act one step before he cries and then he didn't have to get used to crying to get through to us. Don't be upset if he did cry. Toddlers differ in their level of exactingness, perhaps yours is one of the demanding ones. If you listen to him, you can turn his sense of smell into something that will be very useful to him later, useful in life, will give an application to his subtlety and sensitivity.

Links

1. William Sears, Martha Sears. Your baby from birth to two years.
2. Jean Ledloff. How to raise a happy child. The principle of succession.

Individual consultations

From the very moment of his birth to the development of speech, crying is the only acoustic way in which a child can convey his requests or indignations to adults. For baby crying actually replaces the conversation - through it, he reports that something is bothering him. Crying is not needed at all in order to temper character or train the lungs. On the contrary, it strains the children's nervous system, makes the baby doubt the friendliness and safety of the world. And too long crying can even cause direct harm to the child - cause an umbilical hernia.
Babies cry regularly, however, the more parents communicate with them, the less intensity, frequency and duration of crying become. According to statistics, the most “tearful” time of day is the interval from 16 to 20 hours.

What to do if the baby cries a lot?

You should immediately react to the crying of the baby: take it in your arms, put it on your chest and start rocking it, and in general, use any available way to calm it down. The quickest baby calms down in the mother's arms. Then eliminate all possible inconvenience for him. At the same time, the mother herself must demonstrate calmness to the baby, then her confidence will be transferred to him. Gradually, mother will learn to distinguish different types crying.
The child, by the way, and the father can and should be trusted more often. Often, boys calm down much faster in the arms of their father than in their mother. Perhaps men react more calmly to children's crying and therefore convey their equanimity to crumbs.
You should not be afraid of getting used to the child's hands. Crying always reflects a real problem. Crying baby is experiencing stress, and parents should in any way alleviate his well-being. After a month, the baby is already forming a mode of feeding, sleeping and waking, so the cause of crying can already be associated with the time when it occurs.

How to calm babies up to 3 months?

Harvey Karp Method

What are the causes of crying in very tiny children? Frustration or fear? Parents who are tired of long motion sickness and chronic lack of sleep can try the technique of the American Harvey Karp.
At the beginning of the baby old tradition you need to swaddle tightly, pressing your hands to the body so that the fabric slightly squeezes the body of the child. The baby will perceive such a position as a presence in the mother's womb, cramped, but warm and calm. You also need to dim the lights in the room for a more comfortable environment and put the baby next to you. Even if the diaper does not help, then the baby needs to be turned on its side, put the forearm under the head and put the palm on the tummy. The baby will lean forward slightly. In this position, he will calm down faster, since he was almost also located in the womb. The mother's palm, slightly pressing on the intestines of the crumb, relieves him of discomfort and colic.
If the baby continues to whimper, then you can rock him. You need to press it with your back to your body, and support the head with your palm. Then the baby will lie sideways on the arm, and from below it can be supported with the second hand to keep it in this position. Walking slowly around the room or standing still, the child needs to be rocked as if he were in a cradle. The movements should be smooth, with a small amplitude, so that they resemble the fluctuations in the mother's womb when she turns in bed or walks.
While in the uterus, the fetus hears the work of the mother's intestines, and a muffled noise from the outside in the form of an indistinct hiss reaches him. Therefore, even restless and capricious babies calm down when they hear the hiss of their mother rocking them. First, she says “Shhh” loudly to get the attention of the crumbs, and then she turns down the volume as the baby calms down.
Sometimes babies are silent, but they are not going to sleep. Then, in order to avoid repeated tantrums, you need to use the strong sucking reflex that 3-6 month old babies have and offer the child a dummy or breast. The baby is silent for a while, giving the mother the opportunity to rest from his cry. This technique is effective for children no older than 3-4 months. Swaddling with motion sickness is often sufficient. Well, if the baby continues the tantrum, then you can use all of the above methods at once.

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Causal actions

Since young parents are still bad at guessing the needs of the baby, they may miss some details of his “signals”. Creases on the sheet, a too hard mattress, a slipped blanket, irritation unnoticed on the skin can bring the baby to hysteria.
The screaming baby needs to be taken out of the crib and swaddled, check the diaper and let him lie down naked for 10-15 minutes. In the meantime, carefully examine the skin of the baby in the buttocks and legs, back and armpits. Detected areas with redness should be treated, first boiled water or a decoction of chamomile, and then grease with fortified baby cream or powder with powder. Irritation of the skin causes the baby to burn and itch, so he cannot sleep. The use of children's cosmetics will calm the child and relieve unpleasant symptoms.
The child can also cry from hunger, pull his hands to his mother, scream insistently and demandingly. Babies grow quickly, and their appetite grows with them, so it is not surprising that, having had a hearty dinner, the baby will ask for supplements in half an hour. One has only to bring him to the chest and feed him, as he immediately calms down and falls asleep.
Since thermoregulation in infants is still weak, at night they can wake up from heat or cold and begin to act up. If the baby has a hot nose and back, and the room is hot, then you need to undress him as much as possible, and use a sheet instead of a blanket. If his tummy and nose are cold, then, on the contrary, he should be changed into something warmer or covered with a warm blanket.

How to calm babies from 4 months to a year?

Like adults, children have nightmares in their dreams. And if at night they start to get hysterical, then perhaps the baby dreams that his parents left him alone and went somewhere. A screaming baby should be immediately picked up, shaken and tried to calm down. You can talk to him or sing a song. The quiet, gentle voice of the mother will distract the baby from terrible visions and gradually put her to sleep.
3-4-month-old babies love to sit and sleep in the "kenguryatnik". Here they can snuggle up to their mother's breasts and hear her heartbeat. In such an elastic cocoon it is safe, cozy, warm and cramped. Mom can put on such a device during the day, put the child in it and go for a walk. Many babies are attracted to the noise of busy streets and passing cars, which displaces the tantrum, and the baby even falls asleep.
A typical picture - a child cries in the middle of the night, but there is simply no strength to rock him. What to do? Most desperate mothers turn on the TV, where they choose a channel with moving characters and bright pictures. The baby can be distracted by what is happening on the screen, calm down and gradually fall asleep. Although such an accustoming from childhood to the TV will not bring anything good, even if mom can sleep. Instead of a TV, it is better to divert the attention of the crumbs with bright wrapping paper or a bag, which can be given to the baby to touch, crush and then hang over his crib.
Dancing can also calm the baby. A mother with a baby in her arms begins to sing and spin around the room, swinging it in different directions, turning it and carefully throwing it up. The kid really likes such a "roller coaster", he will quickly have fun and forget about the reasons for his crying. After he calms down, he can be given a bottle of formula or a pacifier so that he does not think of throwing the next tantrum.
During a tantrum, children open their mouths wide, swallowing air that enters the digestive system and causes colic. If the cry lasts more than 5 minutes, and the baby does not stop, then it should be deployed vertically, making it possible to burp.
Sometimes the baby cries for no apparent reason, for example, due to a lack of parental attention. Mom may be exhausted by that time and only wants to sleep for at least half an hour, but the baby requires constant care and affection. You can lie down with a crying baby and start talking to him about anything. The meaning of the text for the baby is still incomprehensible, but the familiar timbre and intonation are important, which soothe the best.

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How to calm children from 2 to 4 years?

When the kids have colic and finish cutting their teeth, it’s too early for parents to relax. Two-year-olds have their own reasons for tantrums:

• mother did not give sweetness;
• hungry or do not want to eat;
• the baby is tired, but cannot sleep;
• did not like the clothes;
• does not want to go for a walk or return from a walk.

The baby with bad mood there is always a reason to throw a tantrum. Although the mother in such cases is already heated to the limit herself and is ready for a quick reprisal, it is better for her to remain calm:

• Let's pay later. You need to kneel down, look into the eyes of the baby and ask to calm down - after all, soon the sun will set and it will become dark and scary. Children do not ride on a swing at night, but sleep. You can cry tomorrow if you want. Such logic often convinces a child, he agrees to “wait” until tomorrow, calms down and gradually falls asleep.
• Sleeping dad. If the baby does not want to calm down for a long time and cries, then you can hug him and say that, of course, he has the right to cry, but it’s better to do it quietly, because a tired or sick dad is sleeping next to him, who should not be woken up. The kid does not want to upset his beloved dad and moderates the cry, and then completely subsides.
• Fast reaction. Not getting what you want or being offended by something, the little one is already ready to burst into tears. You can stop the emerging hysteria in the bud by offering to turn on your favorite cartoons, see what the pussy is doing, find out who rustles in the closet, count the leaves on the bushes. You need to offer decisively so that the baby does not have time to cry. Children's attention easily switch to more interesting topics and the drama will not have time to unfold.
• Bad item. If the baby hit something, then the “culprit” needs to be “punished” - let the baby slap him himself, and then rush to his mother so that she kisses the bruised place.

Reasons for concern

• If the baby cries while feeding, then, perhaps, his ears, nose, mucous membranes of the mouth or throat hurt.
• If the baby cries while urinating, then you need to show it to the doctor and check the ureter and kidneys.
• If a child cries when pooping, then again, you need to show it to the pediatrician, who will send him for an examination of the rectum. Otherwise, he may begin to be afraid of the process of defecation - psychological constipation will occur.
• After sleeping during the day, the child wants to communicate with parents at night and starts screaming. He is afraid of strangers and unfamiliar surroundings.

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