Not all parents understand how to teach a child to sports, especially if the baby himself does not show much interest in active activities. To begin with: if the cult of gadgets, TV reigns in your house, computer toys replace leisure and live communication, then it will be quite difficult to accustom a child. This does not mean that the computer is completely contraindicated for children, as grandmothers and representatives of the older generation in general, who are suspicious of such novelties, can tell about this today.

At the age of two, a crisis begins in children, manifested in constant tantrums, the nature of which parents do not understand. But you need to calm the baby and this does not always work. This causes negative emotions in mom and dad, which makes the situation even more difficult. The article provides nine tips on how to behave with a child during a tantrum.

It is a well-known fact that children and pets get along very well. Most kids just love kittens, puppies, hamsters and guinea pigs. There are families where from generation to generation it is already customary to have pets in the house. From birth, a child is in the company of four-legged friends, and cannot even imagine what happens differently.

Your children have probably already heard the news about the coronavirus and may even have had time to get scared. It is not surprising, because the children's perception of the world is different from the judgments of an adult. Especially when a school or kindergarten is closed for quarantine and nothing is explained. This causes fear, panic and speculation. But you can be a trusted source of information for your child, and here are 7 tips to help you calmly talk to your child about the coronavirus.

The transitional age in boys does not go smoothly. Most often, the main problem is dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. There are no ideal people. There is no single answer to the question, is it easy to be a teenager? During puberty perception own appearance acquires negative character. This stage is a kind of strength test. The boy is confronted for the first time with his own psychological contradictions.

How to teach a child to express emotions and restrain aggression? It is easy for an adult to understand what it means to "hold back emotions."

Few people are pleased to communicate with an annoyed boss, but no one will allow themselves to give that slap in the face.

And it's a damn shame when the last size stylish blouse taken away from under the nose in the midst of a sale. But this is not a reason to fall to the floor and fill it with burning tears.

Life in society imposes a lot of restrictions, including the expression of one's emotions. As we grow older, we become stronger emotionally and learn to restrain anger and other negative impulses. But how do you explain this to children?

How can I help my child express emotions correctly? How to explain that yelling at the whole store is uncivilized, and telling your parents “I hate you!” Does it mean to offend them to the core?

It is very important to teach the child to control emotions in time, and then it will be possible to avoid problems in his adult life.

Sometimes clumsily educated boys turn into infantile men stomping their feet “I want and I will!” and waving their fists for no reason.

1. First of all, you need to constantly explain to the child his feelings.. Sometimes he himself does not understand what he feels. The task of an adult is to sort out the emotions of the baby.

Situation:
The child was promised to go to the Zoo, but dad was called to work, and the family vacation was cancelled. Your child scattered toys, pushed dad, burst into tears, spewed out a lot of curses picked up on TV, slammed the door and left you in a stupor.

You need to approach the child and just talk. The words of the parents are something like this: “Are you probably very upset that you won’t go to see the animals? You really wanted to see the hippopotamus and missed your dad, but everything was canceled, and now you're angry?

Are you just furious that they promised you and didn't keep the promise? Do you feel cheated, betrayed by your own parents?

The child will compare sensations and agree with you. And when he begins to better understand his emotions, he will even be able to object if you went too far.

“No, I’m not furious, I’m just sad that dad left for the day off again, and I’m jealous of his work.”

2. Also, the parent is obliged to explain to the child that he hurts the feelings of other people.. When we have dealt with what the child himself feels, we move on to what others feel.

Let's go back to the canceled trip to the Zoo. To teach your child to restrain aggression, explain your experiences and emotions to him: “What you said to mom and dad when you got angry was very hurtful and sad to hear.

It was very unpleasant and painful for me and dad when you said that you hated us. After all, we love you very much, and hatred is a very bad feeling.

When you say bad things to people, you hurt them a lot.”

3. It is necessary to teach the child to speak about his emotions without hesitation, to encourage, stimulate communication about the inner and sore.

Sometimes a sincere conversation works wonders, women are familiar with this.

If the child does not have the opportunity to talk about his pain and annoyance, he will throw it out in a different way - he will push the offender, break the toy, bite his mother, and so on.

Often innocent people suffer as a result. For example, if a child hits a toy because of his own awkwardness, he, realizing that he cannot harm the toy, most likely will approach another child or relative and hit him.

Or another situation: absolutely Small child out of curiosity, he grabbed the older one by the nose, it didn’t hurt, but he got scared.

Parents, not seeing the problem, did not react in any way, did not talk with the older baby, did not regret it. And then, without expressing emotions now and harboring resentment, after half an hour he approaches the younger one and beats him without regret.

And this is perceived by the mother as groundless aggression, while the “victim” has every reason for revenge.

4. Teach your child to splash out negative emotions without causing damage - moral and material. Partly, this is emotional development child.

Tell him that being angry is, in general, normal. But you need to splash out the negative in “cultural” ways.

You can go out onto the balcony and shout loudly about your feelings: “Aaaaaa! I really wanted to go to the Zoo! I won't see a giraffe! I'm offended!"

Instead of screaming, you can teach him to abruptly switch to a whisper and whisper about his displeasure. You can tear paper, scatter Stuffed Toys, crumple newspapers, stomp, clap, jump.

Someone likes to furiously spray flowers with a spray bottle.

But never let him hit younger offenders, push parents and break toys. And, most importantly, you yourself should be an example for him and not arrange violent family showdowns with breaking dishes.

5. Never pass by an upset child. Always ask who offended him and what happened - in kindergarten, at school, on the sports ground.

Discuss controversial issues, give advice and teach forgiveness instead of looking for someone to blame.

Nothing helps to cope with aggression and resolve internal problems like the sincere participation of caring loved ones. This is what can teach a child to control their emotions.

Sometimes it seems to us that there are people who never get angry and perceive everything in life absolutely calmly. But that's just how it seems. In fact, they simply suppress their anger in the same way that they suppress other emotions.

Perhaps you sometimes want to be just as calm, especially to save face when raising children? But what lies behind this calmness in reality?

If you are the type of person who is not used to expressing yourself emotionally, if your expression never changes, like an Indian sitting on hot coals, then it will be very difficult for your child to understand himself.

Because acceptance and understanding of oneself comes through all feelings, even if they are usually hidden and not shown. And the child learns from their parents to show them.

If a child feels angry or annoyed, but notices that the parents do not show their feelings, it seems to him that something is wrong with him, that he is not like everyone else.

Inappropriate expression of feelings

In addition to suppressing anger, there is another extreme - to take it out on the wrong person who caused this anger in us. This is also not constructive.

In fact, anger is not much different from other emotions. The only difference is that it is much stronger and more destructive.

Therefore, if you didn’t like something, be attentive to it, note for yourself that you are now angry. Recognize Aggression, Don't Suppress It. Tell yourself that you don't like something. At this stage, anger can still be managed.

But, if you try to suppress your anger and pretend that nothing is happening, this only delays the change of mood and makes the aggression even more powerful.

The reason has already escaped our attention, and we start walking from corner to corner, clenching our fists, and we just can’t understand why everything was so good in the morning (the sun is bright, the weather is beautiful, the coffee is delicious), and suddenly now there is such anger and that’s it. terrible.

And we do not catch this moment when our mood has deteriorated. And it deteriorated when we did not like a small insignificant trifle, or we were dissatisfied with something.

But we didn't pay attention to it. And after a while, real anger creeps into our souls, which is already difficult to cope with. This is already stronger than us, I want to beat the plates or, excuse me, the muzzle.

Teach kids how to manage their feelings

Learn to recognize and acknowledge any mood changes and don't hide it from yourself. Then it will be easier for you to cope with rage, and the children will learn this. Not only that, they will see that this is normal, that it can be dealt with.

If you do not show your anger, then the child thinks: “Daddy is not angry. Mom never gets angry at all, I’m the only one angry, so something is wrong with me, I’m kind of bad, in some ways worse than other people.

And he begins to hide it, and this is already fertile ground for the formation of various complexes.

Please remember your child when he was a few months old. How did he feel when you approached him, and he clung to you, clasping your neck with both hands? Of course, love!

And when you tried to take the nipple away from him, he was so angry that he was covered with red spots. He also flinched when he heard a loud sound. These are all basic human feelings: love, joy, fear, anger.

But you didn't teach him to experience these feelings! He was born with them. They are natural.

Later, we, as parents, begin to suppress these natural feelings in children, instilling unnatural and unconstructive ones (shame, guilt).

Children from birth did not have these feelings! It was we who taught them to think badly about themselves and be ashamed of it. It was we who taught them to think that they are wrong and taught them to feel guilty for it.

Anxious questions

They start asking questions: “Mom, do you love me? Why do you love me? What's wrong with me? But when I do this, do you love me too?

When a child is too preoccupied with this, it means that he condemns and does not accept something in himself. Therefore, he comes to the conclusion that it must be hidden. Therefore, he begins to be afraid to admit to himself that he has to hide something.

And as a result, low self-esteem arises, complexes appear, the child concentrates too much on what he is, and cannot go beyond this egoism and egocentrism.

At the same time, it is very difficult for him to take care of other people, to be useful to someone, to think about the interest of others, to take this interest into account.

That is why we urge you not to teach your children to suppress their basic feelings and not to instill shame and guilt in them. And if your child picked up these unnatural feelings from someone else, tell him that there is no reason to feel bad about himself, even if he makes mistakes. Explain to him that mistakes are just experiences to learn from.

We are sure that you have met such people who teach others something without really understanding it themselves. For example, without having a driving license, they teach taxi drivers how to drive.

This is typical for those who acquired the complex in childhood, did not take it apart, did not look into it, but simply powdered megalomania on top, which now gives him the “moral” right to teach others.

It is very difficult to build close relationships with such people, create families, love them, and it is almost impossible to get love from them.

When we bear this idea from childhood that something is wrong with us, we are so self-centered that it is very difficult to be of benefit to someone else.

It is very difficult to love another person if we are obsessed with the fact that something is wrong with us. And it also prevents other people from loving us.

Imagine that you love another person, and he knows for sure that something is wrong with him, but hides it from both you and himself. Proximity is destroyed in the bud.

And if you do not want your child to have such a problem in the future, then remember the very nature of the complexes. If your child often asks questions that signal the formation of a complex, your task is to do everything possible to understand this.

It can be difficult, but there are child and family psychologists. They will definitely sort everything out on the shelves, and will be able to convince the child that everything is in order with him even when he finally believed otherwise. Authors: Natalia Chernysh and Irina Udilova

Life in society imposes a lot of restrictions, including the expression of their emotions. As we grow older, we become stronger emotionally and learn to restrain anger and other negative impulses. But how do you teach kids to control their emotions?

firestock photo

As strange as it may sound, emotions cannot be divided into good and bad. The fact is that they are all very important to a person, they all benefit. But can “bad” be useful?

Fear, for example, can warn of danger. Dissatisfaction, anger they make you change something in life for the better, encouraging you to move towards the goal. Thanks to emotional saturation, a person feels the fullness of life with all its colors. But the behavior caused by these emotions can be good or bad. Unfortunately, not even all adults know how to control it, let alone children.

Woman's Day brings to your attention the advice of a psychologist, following which you will teach your children to cope with anger, fear, resentment and other emotions.

There are many situations in life that cause anger, anger and irritation. A sense of injustice, acts and actions that are contrary to our principles, disobedience, rudeness can cause a response - aggression. You can learn to manage your anger only if you understand its cause and control your emotions. Having identified the cause of negative feelings, you need to direct them in a different direction, that is, the problem must be disassembled, spoken out, discussed, and not hidden.

It is impossible to live completely without anger, these emotions are the protection of our body. We protect ourselves, and this helps us to fight, to achieve success, to move on.

How to make aggressive anger non-aggressive? In any situation, you should talk about how you feel, expressing your feelings, you help to get rid of anger and irritation. Express yourself clearly and concisely. So you, describing your feelings, let them come out of you.

Being able to manage your emotions is important not only for adults, but also for children. How well can we control our emotional condition affects our well-being and relationships with others. The task of parents is to teach the child to manage his emotions, to teach him to express his feelings in a socially acceptable form.

First of all, you need to constantly explain to the child his feelings. Sometimes he himself does not understand what he feels. The task of an adult is to voice the emotions of the baby. At first, when the child is small, the mother can simply automatically name children's emotions: “You are upset”, “You are offended”, “You are angry”. After a while, the child himself will call them. Here, parents should accept and support the child for the fact that he is aware of them and names them, in no case scold him. The very naming of emotions reduces the intensity of experiences several times.

It is necessary to teach the child to talk about his emotions without hesitation, to encourage, stimulate the conversation about what he is upset about. If the child does not have the opportunity to talk about his pain and annoyance, he will throw it out in a different way - he will push the offender, take away the toy, offend his mother, and so on. Often innocent people suffer as a result.

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Elena Nikolaeva, medical psychologist

Teach your child to splash out negative emotions without causing damage - moral and material. Tell him it's okay to be angry. But you need to splash out the negative in “cultural” ways. You can beat a pillow, tear paper, crumple newspapers, make physical exercises(squats, push-ups, jumps). You can shout loudly, if there are conditions for this, in the forest, for example, or whisper your displeasure in a specially designated place. Someone likes to furiously spray flowers with a spray bottle, sculpt anger from plasticine and crumple it. But never let your child hit the younger ones, push the parents and break the toys. And, most importantly, the parents themselves should be an example for him, not to arrange stormy family conflicts quarrels with breaking dishes. If the parents themselves are calm, balanced, treat people well, approach the solution of the child's problems with understanding, then it will be easier for him to develop self-control skills.

Nothing helps to cope with anger and resolve internal problems like the sincere participation of caring loved ones. Do not pass by an upset child. Always ask who offended him, what happened - in kindergarten, at school, on the playground. Discuss controversial issues, learn to forgive instead of looking for the guilty.

Marina Suzdaleva

In today's article, I want to focus on teaching the child the techniques of adequate expressions of emotions. Any child needs parents to explain to him how to express them correctly.

Often the child himself does not know how to cope with resentment, anger, and other manifestations of his feelings. But the task of parents is not to suppress the feelings and emotions of the child, but to teach them to control and manage them correctly.

How does the baby express emotions?

Emotions are both positive and negative. Of course, any parent would like his child to experience only joy and never be upset. But is it possible to live without negative experiences? The answer to this question is unequivocal: no. Every day we are accompanied by different emotions that adults can control.

What can be said about children's manifestation of feelings? FROM early age the baby can only express them by crying. For him, tears are an opportunity to report pain, irritation, resentment and other unpleasant emotions. But as a child grows up, they need to be taught how to express their negative feelings and what is best to do in such situations. Parents often make the mistake of telling their child:

• "Do not Cry",
• "Stop"
• "If you don't stop, you will be punished"
• "Don't make noise" and other similar phrases.

But hidden emotions, if not this time, then another, will definitely find a way out, and unfortunately, very often in the form of psychosomatic symptoms. The child may, he may get sick or begin to tire quickly. Therefore, parents need to learn the following:

• experiencing pain is normal. It is only necessary to give it an outlet;
• in the form of tears in infancy;
• in the form of tears, as well as pronouncing their feelings when the child grows up and learns to speak;
• the child needs to be conveyed that the expression of emotions is natural. He must learn to distinguish, understand and express them. But the child cannot learn this on his own - parents must help him by their example;
• if parents do not allow the baby to throw out emotions, then the child may become more irritable and restless.

How to help your child express their emotions

1. It must be emphasized that the child's experiences are quite natural and there is nothing wrong with that. Suitable phrases are:

• “Yes, I understand that you are upset…”
• "Of course you're offended that..."
• "It's embarrassing when..."
• “You are upset because…”, etc.

Thus, parents help the child to understand the reason for his experience. After all, a child often simply cannot formulate his feelings in words.

2. Parents should take into account the nature of their child. For example, one child needs to be allowed to cry, another can be distracted or persuaded. You should not stop crying at any cost, sometimes you need to give the baby time to calm down.

3. In the event that the manifestation of the child's emotions harms other people or is destructive, then it is worth showing him that his feelings can be expressed in a different way. Here, too, it is necessary to focus, first of all, on the child himself. If he is a choleric by temperament, then give him a pillow, let him beat it. If he is phlegmatic, perhaps it will be enough to cry quietly on the sidelines.

You need to understand that all children have a physical expression of their emotions. This is just such an age and does not mean at all that, having matured, the child will do the same. You can help the release of emotions through drawings with a brush or pencil, plasticine, finger paints. Offer to draw "joy", "sad little man", etc. Help the child and draw with him.

5. Consider the fact that babies have different values ​​and what is nothing to you can mean the whole world to him.

6. Speak out the situation and look for a solution together. If something is broken, fix it. If there was a quarrel, then explain to the child how to get out of the situation. Very much in this business help role-playing. If it doesn’t immediately come out to convey to the child, then explain the whole process in sequence.

7. Even if the child is just being naughty, there is no need to laugh at him, call him names or ignore him. Just calmly explain why you will not comply with his whims. The most important thing is not to let yourself be manipulated, especially with the help of tears. If you said “No”, then under no circumstances should it turn into “Yes”. When in their actions, the child quickly enough ceases to "test them for strength."

Children's tantrums

Often parents are faced with children's tantrums, to which they do not know how to respond correctly. If your child is crying, help him with your actions. Be close to him, sit so that you are near if he wants to cuddle and hug you.

Parental behavior is often influenced by the environment. So that people do not think that you are a bad mother and raised your child incorrectly, the parent tries in any way to stop the tantrum if it happened on the street. But this is the wrong approach. Indeed, instead of letting the child cry and drawing conclusions that he will not achieve anything by such behavior anyway, you rush to comfort him and give him what he is seeking. As a result, tantrums occur again and again. Therefore, do not succumb to provocations and do not let yourself be manipulated. Then the child will understand once and for all that tantrums will not help to achieve what he wants.

Thus, it is necessary to let the child throw out his emotions, they cannot be accumulated and restrained. The task of parents is to help them do this correctly and peacefully, without harming themselves or others. Listen to your child, be his friend and support, while not letting yourself be manipulated, and soon you will see the results yourself.

More ideas on how to teach your child to express emotions:

Do you want to play with your child easily and with pleasure?

Enthusiastic mother of the son Egorka (born 25.01.2011) and baby Vasilisa (born 24.07.2015), psychologist, author and head of the project “Club of Passionate Moms” (http: // site), author of the system harmonious development child at home, presenter of courses and seminars for parents and educators, expert on child development in the game, author of books and manuals for conducting developmental activities with children.