Everyone is afraid of something and it does not depend on age. Fear- this is a completely natural and predictable reaction of the body to an irritant that our subconscious mind sees as a danger. But if we can overcome fears on our own, then it is quite difficult for children to do this. They often do not understand what is happening to them. They just feel extremely uncomfortable. You will not be able to conquer all children's fears, because any child has a lot of them. But your task is to learn how to treat them adequately, work them out and try not to become the cause of fear yourself.

Children's fear is a feeling of anxiety or anxiety in a child under 16 years of age. Each age carries its own fears, which can somehow affect the psyche. If you succeed in defeating children's fears, then this will help to grow a bold personality, self-confident and proactive. If you do not pay attention to fear, then the child will not know what parental protection is in full measure and will be afraid of the future in the future. Especially strong and long-term fears need to be worked out.

Where do children's fears come from?

Anxiety, fear and phobia- these are three stages of not only children's, but also adult fear. Some can quickly appear and disappear, others for a long time (sometimes forever) leave a clear trace in the memory. The event is no longer repeated, but the fear remains.

A newborn child does not yet understand cause and effect, that is, is not able to reason logically. Therefore, he fully perceives the world as his parents. Hence the conclusion: parents can transfer all their fears to the psyche of the child as if through a carbon paper. An anxious look and intonation are the threads through which fear is transmitted to the immature mind. Therefore, the most important thing is the reaction of parents to any stimulus. Remember that the child does not care what happened. He will look at his mother and decide whether to cry or not. If she is frightened, then expect the reaction of the child. In addition, there are enough reasons for fear.

Something frightened. Chance is the main cause of children's fears. It could be a loud scream, a scary movie scene, getting stuck in an elevator, trauma to a child or relative, parental fears, a wasp or dog sting, or a funeral. If the parents of the child are people with a stable psyche, non-conflict, calm, positive and self-confident, then it is likely that the fear will be short-lived. If the newborn had quarrels of parents and other traumatic situations, then he gains self-doubt. This means that the fear specific case can be firmly fixed in memory. Such children begin to beware of dogs, insects and often react to any situation by crying.

Fantasy. Often the culprit of children's fear is an overdeveloped imagination. A certain situation happens, and the baby immediately draws the details in his mind. An example is night shadows. A crumpled blanket forms a shadow on the wall and the child in his imagination thinks that it is a wolf or a monster. If he loves cartoons and already has an idea about aliens, then he may be afraid of the moon that shines through the window. At the same time, his fantasy will begin to invent aliens who are watching him. This also includes the fear of Koshchei, Baba Yaga and even Moidodyr. Therefore, it is important to protect the child from the TV and filter his cartoons.

Disorders in the family. Arguing with your spouse is normal. But remember that you need to do it correctly - constructively and in low tones. If every quarrel turns into a scandal with the use of strong words, slamming doors and breaking dishes, it is not surprising that the child will be shy, anxious and capricious.

Disorders in social life. Quarrels with teachers, peers and other people can cause social phobia. The child begins to be afraid of groups and feel constrained. It is not difficult to overcome such children's fears if they are noticed in time. However, it is likely that you will learn about it only after a few years. Also, the child may acquire fears after visiting children's camp where children tell each other horror stories at night.

Neurosis. Sometimes the cause of fear is a psychological deviation, which is called neurosis. It is developed gradually and only if the fears are drowned out, intensified and not worked out.

Reasons why children's fears intensify

Pre-existing fear can be exacerbated by some unfavorable factors.

1. Relatives are constantly afraid of something.

A little tip: work through your fears, open the world to your child from a positive side, focusing on the good.

1. Relatives remind the child of fear or laugh at him.

A little tip: accept the child's fear as your own and do not blame the child for it - he has the right to be afraid.

1. The fear factor is always there.

A little tip: find out what is the cause of children's fears and eliminate it as soon as possible.

1. Parents are too overbearing towards the child.

A little tip: you should be loved and respected, not feared. Try to build friendships by psychologically getting on the same level with the child.

1. Any emotion is punished - the child is forbidden to stomp his feet, beat the pillow, cry, scream (the result - fear takes root and is suppressed).

A little advice: let the child express emotions as he wants. You can't blame for this. Let him stomp his feet, and then calmly say the reason.

1. With the child little talk heart to heart.

A little tip: no matter how busy you are, set aside an hour a day to talk with your child about the day.

1. The child is alone in the family or has no friends.

A little tip: think about the reasons for his isolation, become him good friend and he will find his comrades.

1. The parents do not understand the child and believe that he is to blame for his fear.

A little tip: do not think that the baby is not listening to you. Understand it yourself first.

1. Mom is exhausted at home and at work.

A little tip: a child needs a cheerful and kind mother, not a draft horse. Change jobs or delegate some of the responsibilities to others.

1. The child is too much loved and cherished.

A little tip: do not protect the child from the outside world, treat him adequately - without extolling above all and without belittling.

1. The child has no father.

A little tip: if a child grows up without a father, be a friend to him and at the same time a protector when he behaves well. And also a good adviser when he has problems. Your task is to be cheerful, despite the difficulties, and to convey this attitude to the baby. In addition, it was noticed that positive and vital active women the problem of an incomplete family is solved very quickly.

Many of the child's fears arise from the wrong behavior of parents, their anxiety, overprotection or lack of warmth and love. Whatever happens, you must stand up for your child - protect him from the attacks of a neighbor from another entrance or criticism of the teacher in front of you. Sometimes it's enough to say: "I'll talk to him myself", come home and calmly discuss why he behaved this way. Listen and give advice to the child. This The best way become not only a parent, but also a true friend.

Types of children's fears

Psychologists classify children's fears into four types.

fears at night. This includes nightmares. During sleep, the child has involuntary movements - he talks, sometimes screams, crumples a blanket and a sheet. Occasionally, involuntary urination and manifestations of sleepwalking may occur. When a nightmare occurs, the child either wakes up and runs to his parents in bed, or falls asleep and cannot remember anything in the morning.

Unfounded fears. One of the most common types of childhood fears. The child is afraid of the dark, he is afraid to be alone with himself, he is afraid of cartoon characters or fairy tales, and also thinks out what is not there. At the same time, do not try to convince the baby that his fear has no reason - he will still stand his ground.

obsessive fears. These include the fear of open and closed spaces, flying on an airplane, fears of motion sickness in transport, and so on.

Unexplained (delusional) fears. The child begins to be afraid of something that absolutely does not scare anyone: his doll, phone, slippers. Getting rid of children's fears of this type is easy if you understand the reason. For example, he dreamed that his slippers were chasing him or that a doll was talking.

Manifestation of children's fears in life

How do you know if a child is afraid of something? This can be indicated by a wide variety of signs. A newborn child shows his fear in the only way - he bursts into tears. Older children are already more capable of manifesting their childhood fear.

1. He does not let you go and walks literally on your heels.

1. He hides, hiding in a blanket with his head, or covers his face with his hands.

1. He is aggressive or crying.

1. He is naughty.

1. He draws only with black pencils, depicts monsters, skulls (subconsciously tries to work out fear through drawing).

1. If you ask him to draw his fear, he draws it, and then he is afraid of drawing.

1. He has an obsessive habit - he bites his nails, sucks his finger, fiddles with a blouse or button, does not know where to put his hands, marks time, tries to constantly wash his hands. In this case, it is better to contact a psychologist for elaboration.

How to identify fear? It is best to talk with the child about what he is afraid of, ask him to draw it or compose a fairy tale with himself as the main character. If he starts telling a scary story, then it is better to let the fantasy run in another direction - ask the child to complete it positively and come up with a good ending, where the child comes out the winner.

All ages are submissive to fear

It is possible to overcome children's fears, provided that you understand what causes them and how to deal with them. Every age is a time of certain fears. Let's see what our children are afraid of at a certain age.

1-3 years

What are. They learn basic life skills, and most importantly - to be themselves. Knows how to distinguish a boy from a girl, an adult from a child and his own from someone else's. They understand that there is a close circle, and there is society. During this period, the family for the child becomes a reliable fortress (if there are no conflicts). If the family is psychologically healthy, then the baby gradually forgets the stress of being born.

What are they afraid of: the same as mom. You are upset - the child is upset. You cheered up again - the child cheered up. A child from 2 to 3 years old may experience fear at the appearance of a second child. Jealousy also appears if parents pay attention to themselves or others. The child may be afraid of the mother leaving or falling asleep on her own, strangers, loud or sharp sounds. When the baby takes the first steps, he may be afraid to fall. But this is rather a projection of the parents of their fears on the child.

How to protect from fear. Do not swear in front of the child, thinking that he does not understand anything. The baby instantly feels a tense situation and reacts by crying to a change in the behavior of the parents. If a mother is breastfeeding, she should especially be less afraid and nervous, as fears are transmitted with breast milk. In no case do not allow conflicts with household members about breastfeeding. A healthy atmosphere in the family allows the baby to strengthen his self-position and gain self-confidence.

If a brother or sister is born, children's fears can be overcome by including the baby in the care of the younger one. At this age, it is better not to send the child to the nursery. Remember, the longer you stay with your baby, the better. Try to accustom him to independence as soon as possible and do not overprotect him. Remain calm so as not to transmit fears to the child.

Choose your bedtime story carefully - don't read about Baba Yaga. Stop at the kinder tales of Suteev or Teremka. Give your little one maximum protection. To do this, provide him with love before going to bed, pet him, sing a song, calm him down.

3-5 years

What are. The child is full of feelings and emotions. Him emotional sphere expands much, which means that many children's fears appear. He tries to get even closer to his parents and other people's children, whom he declares to be his friends. In this case, friendship can last 1 day. The child learns to understand society, to live in it. He understands that he already exists on only "I", but also "we". He becomes more independent, and his imagination also begins to develop intensively. The baby can try on the images of the heroes of fairy tales or professions.

From 3 to 5 years old, you can observe not only activity, but also irritability, resentment, constant mood swings. The baby laughs and immediately begins to cry, if something is not for him. May require you to be with him at all times.

What are they afraid of. That they love him. They love more than the parent of the opposite sex and are afraid of not pleasing him in the first place. Again, the fear of loneliness is acutely felt, so you need to communicate more with the child. Also afraid of punishment, a closed room.

How to protect from fear. Since now the baby is learning to love, it is important for him to set a worthy example. Try to openly show love to your other half, as well as to the child. Kiss, hug, shake - all this is very important now. Try never to speak "you behaved badly, I don't love you"- a child can remember this forever and then a child's fear of losing the love of his parents will appear.

A parent of the opposite sex should be especially attentive to a child at this age. Never lock him in a room as a punishment. Smooth out fairy tales by skipping scary moments. Communication with peers, where the baby shows the whole gamut of emotions, will help to protect from fears as much as possible.

5-7 years

What do they represent. At this age, children begin to divide people into good and bad. The good ones are those who smile and are kind to the child. The bad ones are those who get angry and give injections. Anxiety, suspiciousness, sensitivity may appear.

What are they afraid of. At this age, the child begins to fear that he or his parent will die. If the baby often has nightmares, then there is a fear of falling asleep. Hence the tantrums at night. Also, the baby begins to be afraid of doctors, bites, heights, fire. Fears of the dark, closed spaces, and parental punishment may increase. The child begins to fear the other world. Moreover, this is more pronounced in self-doubt children who were brought up in authoritarian families. Children begin to think about the future and fear it. The example of a strong and courageous father is important for a child-boy, because the first masculine qualities are now being formed.

At this age, fears form a physical impact on the child, punishments, screams. A girl may be afraid of a loud father, and a boy of an authoritarian mother. There is a fear of separation, attacks, war, scandals, being late, waiting, death of pets.

How to protect from fear. To overcome children's fears, try to convince your child that it is safe, to show him that the world is not scary. Do not scold the child if he starts to say bad words. Calmly say that this is unacceptable and try not to pay too much attention to them. Now it is important to traumatize the psyche as little as possible with threats or angry exclamations. If the child is neurotic or hypersensitive in itself, try to keep painful situations to a minimum: give pills instead of injections, read good tales etc.

7-11 years old

What are. The child no longer behaves like an egoist. He begins to understand that in society you need to be able to communicate with the surrounding teachers and peers. A sense of duty, obligation, responsibility, discipline begins to develop.

What are they afraid of. The child continues to experience the fear of death. She just worries more about her parents. Begins to fear attacks from strangers, bad grades, fires, robberies. Childish fears become mostly concrete. However, all these fears are not strong, because the school redirects attention from itself to others. But guilt can develop if the child behaves "not this way" or he is not like everyone else.

How to protect from fear. Now you need to take on the confidence of your child to overcome his childhood fears of inadequacy to others. Buy him the clothes that he asks for, try to listen to him more. Do not force him to be friends with those with whom he does not want. Make it clear that he is always loved and expected at home, even if he fails to study and teachers give bad marks. Help him make his own decisions, thank him for his help and praise him for his responsibility, even if it does not appear often.

11-16 years old

What are. This age is the most difficult time. The child establishes his principles, his worldview changes. He starts to think rationally. Sometimes these changes are so lightning-fast that it seems to parents that the situation is getting out of control. The child begins to learn to be himself in interpersonal relationships. Everything depends on his self-esteem.

What are they afraid of. Teenagers are most afraid of misunderstanding. A twofold childish fear appears: on the one hand, the child wants to join the general mass and disguise himself, on the other hand, he tries not to lose his individuality. At this age, it is very difficult to overcome the children's fear of changing their appearance. Girls experience more fear than boys. At 12 years old, children are very emotionally sensitive and you easily hurt them with your words. The peak of anxiety is 15 years. Further, fears decrease. They can be reborn in phobias and obsessive states. The child, among other fears, is afraid of shame and censure.

How to protect from fear. You should increase the self-esteem of a teenager, praise him for good deeds. Girls need to instill the concept of beauty. No matter what, tell your daughter that she is very beautiful. And inspire your son that you trust him with decisions in your life. The more conflicts in a teenager's life, the more fears he has. Try to be more loyal to the aggression and excitability of the child. Now it is important to understand that a teenager is a reflection of yourself. Therefore, first of all, start working on yourself.

Schoolchildren's fears

School fears can be attributed to a separate category of children's fears. For the first time, they may appear in a first grader, when it is still difficult for a child to be separated from their parents. If the parent himself was afraid of school, speaks negatively about it and is afraid of the child's poor grades, he imposes his fear on him. Doing homework instead of children leads to the fact that they cannot be responsible for their actions, they begin to be afraid of making a mistake and rely in everything on the fact that their parents will solve their problem.

The easiest way to cope with fear is children who are accustomed from childhood to remain for some time without their parents. In addition, school difficulties are more easily overcome by kindergarteners. At school, the child tries to adapt to the teacher, classmates. He tries to meet the established requirements.

AT school years It's important for you as a parent not to be obsessed with grades. To overcome childhood fears at school, try to discuss them with your child, be aware of his affairs and do not take on too many responsibilities. Teach your child not only to do homework, but also to devote time to their hobbies and communication with peers.

How not to become the cause of children's fears

It is much easier to deal with various children's fears if you yourself have a firm position. The following tips will help you avoid provoking fears in your child and inspire him with self-confidence.

1. Provide comfort and harmony in the house. Do not yell at the child and household with him. Resolve conflicts peacefully.

1. Stop being restrained in relation to the child and openly show love, while not depriving the crumbs of independence.

1. Organize your child's leisure time. Fill his day with good impressions. Provide the crumbs with coloring books, pencils, plasticine. Let him do more.

1. Accept the child for who he is and do not demand that he behave like a man / hero / smart / good girl.

1. Do not force the baby to communicate with children if he does not like them.

1. Do not laugh at the child if he is afraid. Take your fears seriously and don't downplay them.

1. Keep your emotions under control.

1. Try to restrict less.

How to deal with children's fears?

conversations. Communicate more with the baby, ask questions. If the baby does not want to answer, then try to approach from the other side. Try to have the baby open up to you as often as possible and talk about his fear. Then this fear will decrease.

Drawings. Ask the child to draw what he is afraid of. Next, to get rid of this childhood fear forever, tear the drawing together or burn it. Make sure that the child stops being afraid (this will be expressed by his smile). If the fear has not diminished, paint over and over again, adding colors and small details. You can attach bows or other funny elements to a scary monster. When fear becomes ridiculous, it cannot have a negative impact.

Composition. Ask the baby to come up with a fairy tale about his fear. It is best if you compose it together and then draw it. Fighting children's fear with this method is very entertaining. The ending must be positive. For example, your baby in the form of a superman defeats a negative character.

skits. How to deal with children's fears effectively? You can (as in the previous tip) play with a fictional story. Try playing with role reversal. When the baby plays his own fear, he will no longer be afraid of him.

Bathing for the little ones. To overcome the childish fear of a newborn, try bathing him in herbs. Water washes well Bad mood in young children. Also, breast offering and distraction with a toy will be the best medicine.

Fear of the dark. If the child is afraid of the dark, you should not act on the contrary and force the baby to look fear in the eye. So you will only harm him. Speak fear, leave a nightlight or dim light, put a toy next to you, and kiss before bed.

Fear of bad grades. Tell your child that despite the bad grades, you still love him. To overcome such a childish fear, just parental love is enough.

sand games. Playing with sand is very soothing, so invite your little one to paint with sand. This activity will strengthen nervous system and will allow the baby to get rid of childhood fear.

Music Healing. Classical melodies are known to harmonize and relax. Turn them on at home as often as possible, then gradually the condition of the crumbs will even out. If you don’t like the classics, then you can fight children’s fear with the help of nature sounds or ethnic instruments.

modeling. Plasticine modeling helps to get rid of children's fears. This method is good if your child does not like drawing. Let the baby blind his fear, and then roll it into a ball.

Sports and dancing. You can fight any childhood fears with the help of movement. Give the baby to dancing or martial arts. Diversity and a new team will help dispel all fears.

Noisy games. The more often you let your child run, frolic, scream and knock, the better. This gives vent to negative emotions, and your baby ceases to be very afraid of anything.

Friends. Never limit your child's interactions with peers. How to deal with children's fears, if not in this way? Feeling himself in his environment, it is easier for the baby to overcome all the hardships of life.

Try to pay attention not only to the fight against fears, but also to their prevention. Never intimidate a child with doctors and policemen. Read good stories to him and let's be ourselves. Then it will not be difficult to overcome any children's fear.

Fear is a natural human reaction to a phenomenon. environment, which causes a feeling of danger and threat to life. If adults can cope with their own fears, then children often have various children's fears, sometimes of a fantastic orientation. Diagnostics to identify the causes will allow you to determine the methods of correction and answer the question of how to cope with childhood experiences.

Absolutely every parent has faced the fact that the child was afraid of something. Children can be afraid of anything:

1. Darkness.
2. Scary creatures under the bed.
3. Outsiders.
4. Insects.
5. Noisy sounds, etc.

There can be many reasons for a child to be afraid. If an adult already knows how to cope with their own experiences, then it is difficult for a child to do this. If we remember how fear is experienced, then such sensations are acutely and vividly experienced by children. If parents have a desire to help their children, then you can go through the first consultation on the website of the psychological help website.

What are childhood fears?

What are childhood fears? This is an emotional response to a stimulus that occurs in a real situation or in the imagination of children. Often, fears are inspired by the sensitive upbringing of parents. If you constantly intimidate a child with something, then you can soon cause certain feelings in him.

However, children's fears should not be taken lightly. They occur for the same reasons as in adults. Something seems dangerous to the child, so he begins to fence himself off from it, to shun it, to avoid it. The child is subject to his instinct, which is inherent in all people - to protect himself, his life and well-being. The reaction of adults who begin to belittle the significance of fear or laugh at the child becomes inadequate.

Fear helps a person to survive. This emotion is inherent in everyone, so that in the first place a person is engaged in self-survival. When faced with a situation that is frightening or seems dangerous, a person naturally begins to take all measures to maintain his health and survive. Better to run away than put your life to death. Therefore, fears should be listened to, as they can be useful.

Causes of children's fears

For the most part, children's fears have the same reasons for their appearance as fears in adults. Fear arises in response to a specific situation that seems dangerous to human health and life. This can be anything from loud noises to physical threats. However, children's fears are more diverse due to the fact that the child simply does not know that he can not be afraid of something.

In infancy, a child may be afraid of being alone. This is due to the instinct of self-preservation, when the presence of a mother next to him guarantees his survival. He cries and screams, if his mother is not there, so that she hears and comes to him.

At the age of 3, fears may arise after having seen dreams. Terrible dreams can be so frightening that they make the child not fall asleep.

At the age of 3-5 years, fears of the dark, scary creatures and confined spaces begin to arise. Also, the fear of loneliness and death of one's loved ones is connected here. This is due to the belief in something that does not exist, as well as real examples when parents leave, leave for a long time or get sick.

In junior school age children's fears acquire a social connotation. This is where the fear of inconsistency arises: the student tries to get the grades that parents want to see, to please teachers, to get approval from peers. This includes mystical fears. The child gradually becomes interested in otherworldly themes, watching various horror films. Various horror stories are becoming popular here.

AT adolescence children's fears intensify. Now the child wants to receive approval from adults and peers, do well in school, and also meet the standards of external attractiveness. If he witnessed some kind of incident, then this can scare him. Neurotic fears are the fear of being unable to control one's own actions and feelings.

All children have fears. Their reasons are:

• The attitude of parents to certain phenomena, which is transmitted to the child who copies them.
• Relationships in the family, where something can scare the child.
• Excessive demands that the child, due to his inability, cannot realize.
• Authoritarian parenting, where the child learns to evaluate everything in terms of right and wrong.
• with peers.

Diagnosis of children's fears

To help the child get rid of his fears, it is necessary to conduct a diagnosis. It is aimed at identifying children's fears, determining their nature, as well as highlighting the causes of occurrence. There are the following types of insurances:

1. Real, which arise in response to a real external threat.
2. Neurotic, which are manifested as a result of a violation of the psyche.
3. Free, which arise when a person is constantly in anticipation of something terrible.

Drawing, modeling, talking with a child, the Spielberger method, the Phillips school anxiety test, projective methods, “Fears in houses”, etc. can serve as methods for identifying fears. There are types of children's fears:

• Silent - when the child does not talk about his fears, but the parents see them. For example, fear of strangers, animals, strange places.
• Fears-"invisible" - when the child is aware of his experiences, but they are invisible to parents. These fears may include:

1. To be punished for what you have done. It often manifests itself in a family where there is an authoritarian upbringing, communication between parents and a child is broken.
2. Fear of blood. It arises due to ignorance of the anatomical features of the body.
3. Fear of death of loved ones. Often inspired by the parents themselves.

Children's fears and courage

Considering the topic of overcoming children's fears, we are talking about the need to develop courage in a child. This quality helps not to succumb to emotions, but to act and live successfully.

Courage is needed in the fight against fears, since many of them are devoid of real background and are completely meaningless. A person is not in real danger, but he is afraid. In this case, he prefers to do nothing, hide in a corner, sit below the grass, etc. This prevents him from living successfully and fully.

Courage is considered a positive quality that is necessary for every person who wants to not give in to their emotions. A brave person can also be afraid. Courage is not the absence of fears, but the ability of a person to cope with their own fears.

Fear occurs in everyone, regardless of gender and age. However, children are more amenable to correction preschool age. Understanding the reasons for their appearance and the correct attitude towards the child helps in correcting the current situation.

Much depends on how the parents themselves will behave, trying to instill courage in the child:

1. He shouldn't be punished for his mistakes.
2. You should not be afraid yourself, because these fears are transmitted to the child.
3. Treat fear as a normal human response.
4. Children should be taught how to overcome fear.
5. The child must always be supported.
6. It is necessary to put forward demands that are feasible for the child.
7. It is ridiculous to imagine a situation of fear.

Correction of children's fears

Work on the correction of children's fears takes place in several stages. The first step is to identify fear, which can be quite difficult. A child, for example, may not understand what scares him, or be afraid to talk about it. He can be asked to draw something that scares, or to start a discussion of the topic with what fears parents have. If the child refuses to explain what scares him, then you should not insist.

If the child spoke about his fear, then invite him to ridicule him, make him funny. You can draw fluffy ears or a pink nose, imagine in fluffy slippers and with a cake in your hands. As a correction, techniques such as fairy tale therapy, game therapy, whispering and group therapy may be suitable.

During work, you should not laugh at the child, call him a coward. Fear is a natural emotion that should be dealt with calmly. Also, you should not create situations where the baby will have to show courage. Fear is irrational, therefore, under the influence of panic, a person will already forget about his courage.

How to deal with children's fears?

An effective way to deal with children's fears is the game. This activity is used to teach the child to successfully cope with their own emotions, to be aware of their own fear, to manage it, to relieve mental stress, and also to act adequately in a frightening situation.

The complex of events can include elements of a frightening situation. The danger will not be fully manifested, but partially. For example, look for treasure in dimmed light (to overcome the fear of the dark) or play hide and seek (to overcome the fear of loneliness). You can learn some affirmative affirmations with your baby that will support him when he starts to be afraid again.

As preventive measures, the following are suitable:

1. Children should not be frightened by various people, things or phenomena. Children will unconditionally believe that they are in danger.
2. Shouldn't be told scary stories in the presence of children.
3. It is not recommended to talk about what you yourself are afraid of and show your fear, because the children will learn it. Better for parents to show self-confidence and fearlessness, which will help the kids develop such qualities in themselves.

Outcome

When a fortress and an idyll reign in the family, then it is easier for the child to cope with his own fears. Childhood experiences are the result of a lack of stability in relations with parents who may not give something to the child or may themselves be on the verge of divorce. The result of fear is the development of neurotic qualities, when the child will be forced to look for ways to avoid his experiences.

If the baby is afraid, it should be treated normally. Calm him down and help him relax, and in the future to cope with his experiences. Do not scare the baby even more and do not make fun of him, as this will only exacerbate the problem. If you cannot help the child on your own, then you need to use the help of a psychologist.

Reading time: 2 min

Children's fears are feelings of anxiety or anxiety felt by children as a response to a real or imagined threat to their life or well-being. More often, the occurrence of such fears in children occurs as a result of the influence of the psychological nature of adults, mainly parents, or self-hypnosis. However, children's fears should not be taken unambiguously as unhealthy emotions. After all, any emotion plays a certain role and helps individuals navigate the social and subject environment that surrounds them. So, for example, it protects against excessive risk in a mountain hike. This emotion controls activity, behavioral reactions, leads the individual away from dangerous situations, the possibility of injury. This is the defense mechanism of fears. They take part in the instinctive behavioral reactions of the individual, while ensuring his self-preservation.

Causes of children's fears

Every individual has experienced fear at least once in their life. Fear acts as the strongest emotion and is the result of the instinct of self-preservation.

Factors contributing to the emergence of fear can be a variety of phenomena: from loud knocking to threats of physical violence. Fear is considered a natural feeling when a dangerous situation arises. However, many babies feel fears of a different nature more often than there is reason for this.

Children's fears and their psychology lies in the reasons provoking negative emotions. In infancy, fears are primarily associated with a feeling of loneliness, as a result of which the child cries and longs for the presence of the mother. Toddlers can be frightened by sharp sounds, the sudden appearance of a stranger, etc. If a large object approaches the baby, then he demonstrates fear. By the age of two or three, the baby may dream scary dreams which can lead to fear of falling asleep. Mainly fears in this age period driven by instinct. Such fears are protective in nature.

The period of life of babies from three to five years is characterized by fear of the dark, some fairy tale characters, closed space. They are afraid of loneliness, so they do not want to be alone. Growing up, children begin to experience fears associated, for the most part, with death. They may fear for their own lives, their parents.

In the younger school age period, fears acquire a social connotation. Here the leading feeling may be the fear of inconsistency. Coming to school, the parental child finds himself in a completely new environment for him and changes his own social position, which leads to the acquisition of many social roles and, consequently, many fears come with them. In addition, in this age period, fears of a mystical orientation arise. Children expand their horizons due to their interest in everything otherworldly. They are fond of watching mystical films, closing their eyes while showing especially scary moments. Toddlers scare each other with “horror stories” or scary stories like black hand stories.

As children grow older, the area of ​​​​fears expands. In puberty, the number of fears of inconsistency increases. Adolescents are afraid of non-recognition from their peers and adults, they are afraid of the physical changes that occur to them. For them, self-doubt, underestimation of self-esteem becomes characteristic. Therefore, adolescents need the protection of a psychological orientation more than others, since in the pubertal period, against the background of neurotic states long-term unresolved experiences that have arisen lead to the emergence of new or aggravation of existing fears. The child's traumatic experience also contributes to this. So, for example, children can witness real violence, feel physical pain themselves. Teenagers are afraid of losing control over their own feelings and actions. Such fears can be called neurotic.

However, the most dangerous form of fears are pathological fears. The result of their occurrence may be the acquisition by children of some dangerous consequences, such as neurotic tics, sleep disturbance, obsessive movements, difficulties in communicating with others, or anxiety, lack of attention, etc. It is this form of fear that can provoke the occurrence of quite serious mental illnesses.

Based on the foregoing, it should be concluded that various fears, fears and experiences are an integral part of children's lives. Therefore, the problem of children's fears should be solved by parents by mastering the necessary skills that help to cope with the natural fears of children. For this purpose, it is necessary to understand the main factors that provoke the emergence of fear. All of them have a connection with upbringing in the family, since the formation of a child's personality takes place in the family. Therefore, it is from it that children endure their own fears.

The first and most important factor is closely related to the behavior of parents. Mom and dad of the baby unconsciously or consciously form fear in him through their attitude to the surrounding reality and behavior. So, for example, situations where parents invariably seek to isolate their child from the world and his negative impact, contribute only to the fact that the child is constantly under stress. By their behavior, parents develop in the crumbs a sense of steady danger emanating from the world. And since while the baby is small, he strives to imitate significant adults in everything, therefore, if members of his family are characterized by constant anxiety, then he will learn it.

The second factor has a connection with the traditions and foundations that prevail in the family. Any family conflicts scare the child. After all, being born, the baby brings harmony with him. Therefore, he expects from the most native harmonious relations. If conflict situations are aggressive in nature, then children can be quite frightened, which will subsequently lead to the appearance of neuroses in the event of similar situations. are also born as a result of the presentation of excessively high demands by parents. They constantly have to justify inflated parental expectations, which leads to increased anxiety in children.

In cases where an authoritarian style of behavior dominates in the family, the child will be constantly kept in the system of minor and serious fears. In the life of such a baby, everything shifts in one direction - the correctness or incorrectness of his actions from the point of view of the wishes of his parents. Such children are more nervous in comparison with their peers and shy. A stable state of anxiety leads to the formation of new fears. In cases where violent influences are applied to babies, children will experience the appearance of a whole bunch of fears. The third factor is interconnected with disturbed, inharmonious communication with peers. Children in the process of communication interaction often offend each other, make excessive demands on their peers. This creates an atmosphere of increased nervousness and is a condition that provokes the emergence of fears in some children.

Diagnosis of children's fears

In order to diagnose fears, you need to understand that there are different kinds children's fears. Fear can be real when the innate instinct for self-preservation is manifested due to exposure to external danger.

Fear is neurotic. This type is associated with a mental disorder. The state of constant fearful expectation that appears at different moments that are not related to a specific situation or object is called free fear. It is today the problem of children's fears worries almost every parent. Therefore, an important factor in the work of a psychologist is diagnosing children's fears and identifying the causes. Absolutely any method of diagnosing fears in children aims to detect not so much a variety of psychological illness, but also the cause that caused it.

Some psychologists use drawing to solve the problem of diagnosing children's fears, others can use modeling, and still others choose to talk with children. Pretty hard to define best practice for diagnosing fears, because all these methods give equally effective results. When choosing a methodology, one should take into account a whole range of individual psychological characteristics and age traits of each crumb.

In the classification of children's fears, two main forms can be distinguished: mute and "invisible" fears. Silent fears consist in the denial by the baby of the presence of fears, but for parents, the existence of such fears is obvious. These include the fear of animals, strangers, unusual surroundings or loud sounds.

Fears - "invisible" are the exact opposite of silent fears. Here the child is fully aware of his own fears, but his parents do not see any symptoms of their presence in the baby. Invisible fears are considered more common. Below are the most common. Many children are afraid of punishment as a result of committing some misconduct. At the same time, their mistake can be completely insignificant and parents will not even pay attention to it. The presence of such fear in children indicates the presence of serious problems in communicative interaction with parents, violations in relationships with them. Such fears can often be the result of overly strict treatment of children. If a child is diagnosed with this form of fear, then this is an occasion for parents to seriously think about their own model of upbringing and their behavior with the child, otherwise such upbringing can lead to serious consequences.

Often children are afraid of the sight of blood. Often, babies experience panic at the sight of a tiny drop of blood. Do not laugh at such a reaction. The horror of the test children before the blood is most often due to the usual ignorance in terms of physiology. The child thinks that all the blood can flow out of him, as a result of which he will die. Another common childhood fear is the fear of the death of parents. Often this fear is generated by parents.

Children's fears and their psychology is such that even if children do not show anxiety or parents do not notice the presence of such in babies, this does not mean that they do not have fears of various etiologies and forms.

It is also possible to diagnose fears using specially developed methods, such as the Phillips or Temple test for determining school anxiety, various projective methods, the Spielberger method, etc. Panfilova.

Children's courage and fear

Overcoming fear is considered one of the most significant challenges that children have ever faced. Fear is one of the greatest enemies of the child's psyche. And courage is a quality of character that can be developed. The need for fear is determined by the instinct of self-preservation. However, most children's fears gradually go beyond the boundaries of simple self-preservation. Children are afraid to change something, to look ridiculous, to be different from everyone else. In other words, gradually this emotion subjugates the lives of children. From a quality that was originally designed to benefit the individual, it is transformed into a ballast that hinders movement and a successful life.

Fear is the source of anxiety. Often, as an emotion, in depth and scale, it becomes much larger in comparison with the danger itself. Children are afraid of something, which later turns out to be less harmful than the feeling of fear.

Every individual on earth is afraid of something, but this does not mean that there are no brave people. After all, courage does not manifest itself in the absence of fear, it is expressed in the ability to take control over it. Therefore, the problem does not lie only in the fear itself, it is contained in the understanding of what contributes to its overcoming and control over it. A child with courage is able to overcome his own fears.

Fear does not depend on age and gender. Numerous studies show that in the preschool period, fears are most effectively subjected to psychological correction, since they are mostly of a transient nature. Fears at this age are due to emotions to a greater extent than character.

Many fears in puberty are the result of prior fears and anxieties. As a result, the sooner you start working in the direction of preventing fears, the greater the likelihood of their absence in puberty. If psychological correction will be carried out in the preschool age period, the result will be the prevention of the formation of psychasthenic character traits and neuroses in adolescents.

Children's fears often disappear without a trace, provided right attitude to them and understanding the causes that provoke their occurrence. In cases where they are painfully accentuated or persist for a long time, we can talk about the physical weakening and nervous exhaustion of the baby, the wrong behavior of the parents and the presence of conflict relationships in the family.

In order to help with children's fears, the child's immediate environment should be worked out - as soon as external frustrating factors are eliminated, his emotional condition automatically normalized. Therefore, working with parents is considered the most effective initial method of corrective work with fears. Indeed, often adults themselves are afraid of something, thereby instilling their fears in children.

Courage and fear are two reactions of the child that can be controlled by them. Courage is considered quite an important and necessary character trait. After all, it is courage that contributes to making the right decision, while fear advises doing everything in a different way. Courage helps not to be afraid of the future, not afraid of change and calmly face the truth. Brave children can move mountains. To develop and nurture courage in a baby is the primary task of parents.

For the formation of courage in kids, one should not constantly scold them for all sorts of trifles. You need to try to find moments for which they are worth praising. You can't call a child a coward. It is necessary to try as simply and intelligibly as possible to explain to the baby that fear is a normal human reaction. To teach children to stop being afraid, they should be taught to deal with their fears. And for this it is necessary to sow in children the confidence that their parents will always support them in their struggle. The best weapon against fear is laughter. Therefore, parents need to present a frightening phenomenon in a funny way. For example, you can come up with a fabulous humorous story about a baby who was able to overcome fear. It is not recommended for children to entrust what they, due to their age or characteristics, are simply not able to do. Excessive guardianship can contribute to the development of timidity, fearfulness and even cowardice in children.

Correction of children's fears

Working with children's fears is characterized by specificity, since children can rarely formulate their request for help on their own, when they are afraid of something, they are not able to clearly explain what frightens them. Therefore, for a successful psycho-corrective impact of children's fears, one should first understand what specifically frightens the child - the invented Baba Yaga or the fear of the dark, the fear of loneliness. To this end, you can invite the baby to draw what scares him. A drawing can show a lot of what worries or scares the baby. However, this method will not always be relevant, since children may simply refuse to draw. Their refusal may be due to the fact that he does not want to this moment draw or just not ready to open up. Also, children may be afraid that they will be laughed at. You have to be ready for rejection. In such cases, parents can try to draw their childhood fears and tell their children about them. This will be a good example for kids. However, if the child still does not want to, you should not insist. After all, the purpose of this method is to bring fears to the surface, and not to force the child to close and be left alone with his own fears and fears. The main task in correcting any fears is to bring them to light.

If, nevertheless, the kid painted his fear, then you need to teach him how to deal with it. And in this case, the ridicule of fear will be the best. After all, any fears are afraid of ridicule. You can add funny ears, mustaches, pigtails, a crochet nose, flowers and more to him. The most important thing is that the child himself did it. Let him suggest what should be done. You can also try to somehow beat the fear. For example, a child drew a very scary Baba Yaga, you can invite him to draw next to how she fell into a puddle. That is, you need to make sure that the frightening image is in an absurd or funny situation.

Working with children's fears may include group and whisper therapy.

The main thing to remember is that you should not mock children, you should not dismiss their fears, you should not call children cowards. The kid needs to be helped to understand that fear is a natural reaction of the body, that adults are also sometimes afraid of something, they just learned to take control of fears.

It is also not recommended to arrange courage training for children, especially very young ones. So, for example, if children are afraid of the dark, then at night you need to leave a nightlight turned on or an ajar door to a neighboring lighted room. After all, the nature of fear is irrational, often a person understands that there is nothing to be afraid of, but when he gets into a situation that frightens him, he begins to panic.

All kinds of children's fears can be quite successfully corrected, provided that the parents understand the problem, their competent support for the kids and the presence next to the child when he is afraid of something.

How to deal with childhood fears

The natural and most effective way to overcome and deal with children's fears is the game. Psychologists have established the fact that children experience less fears, being more surrounded by peers. It's so natural when a baby is surrounded by a whole bunch of kids. And when the children are together, what do they do? Of course they play. The observations of psychologists have shown that the game process can provide serious support in the fight against children's fears. Children need to be able to openly and freely express own feelings. Indeed, very often in life there are social restrictions, certain norms of behavior, rules of decency and many other prescriptions that must be followed. The result of this is that the baby does not have the opportunity for self-expression, which may result in the appearance of fears. Of course, there are other factors that provoke the emergence of children's fears, but more often than not, fears arise as a result of parental suggestions and their wrong actions.

So, what should children's games be based on to eliminate fear? First of all, it depends on the specifics of the fears felt by the child. However, there are general guidelines that can help children with any kind of fear. Games should teach children to adequately perceive their own emotions, their awareness, relieve excessive tension, emotional release and release of hormones released during fear. Play therapy should be carried out with other methods in combination. It should contribute to the activation of psychological processes and create a positive attitude. Children should be praised while playing.

Outdoor games are also aimed at overcoming children's fears. So, for example, the fear of loneliness can be successfully corrected with the help of a collective game of hide and seek. If the baby is afraid of the dark, then you can use games like searching for treasure or treasures, the main component of which will be darkness. You can not turn off the light completely, but dim it a little.

Psychologists also advise parents to become "wizards". This means that adults are encouraged to come up with some set of phrases that will mean a spell that drives away or eliminates a frightening object.

However, the fight against fears is better to prefer the prevention of their occurrence. Prevention of children's fears is the observance of a number of simple rules parents. You can't scare kids on purpose. Also, do not allow others to scare babies. If you do not tell the children about the babayka who will take them away in case bad behavior then they will never know about it. You should not be afraid of a doctor who will give an injection if the child does not eat porridge. You need to understand that words, even casually thrown, can soon develop into real fear.

It is also not recommended to tell children or discuss various scary stories with them. After all, they often do not understand most of what is told, but they put together a picture of the pieces, which in the future will become the source of their fears.

Parents should supervise their children's TV viewing time. The TV should not work as a background during the day, as the child can focus on things that are absolutely unnecessary for him.

No need to impose your own fears on kids. Children do not need to know that you are afraid of mice, spiders or other insects. Even if, by chance, seeing a mouse, the parent experiences panic horror and wants to scream loudly, then with the child, you should try to restrain yourself with all your might.

A family for a baby is a reliable rear and protection. Therefore, he must feel family relationships protected. He must understand and feel that his parents are strong personalities, self-confident, able to protect themselves and him. It is important for a kid to understand that he is loved and even if he commits some kind of misconduct, he will not be given to some uncle (for example, a policeman or a woman).

The best remedy prevention of fears for children is mutual understanding between parents and their kids. Since for the calm of the child, the development of uniform rules of behavior by all adults involved in education plays an essential role. Otherwise, the baby will not be able to figure out what actions can be performed and which cannot.

The ideal option in the prevention of fears is the participation of the father in games, his presence, for example, when the baby takes the first steps. After all, as a rule, dads react more calmly to inevitable falls.

So that the child is not afraid of the dark, you should be with him until the age of 5 when he falls asleep. It is recommended to go to bed no later than 10 pm.

Children should not be forbidden to be afraid or scold them if they are afraid of something. Parents should understand that children's fear is not a manifestation of weakness, harmfulness or stubbornness. It is also not recommended to ignore fears. Since they are unlikely to disappear on their own.

As a rule, if the baby is surrounded by self-confident adults, a calm and stable environment and harmony reigns in the family, then children's fears disappear with age without any consequences.

Prevention of children's fears should be carried out from the moment the expectant mother found out about the pregnancy. After all, the baby is going through all the stressful situations together with the mother. That is why it is very important to find a pregnant woman in a benevolent and harmonious atmosphere, where there is no place for anxiety and fears.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

Halloween, although a foreign holiday with a dark history, can be a great occasion to have fun. Design costumes, make pumpkin pie, gather friends and arrange a quest for children with vampires, witches and other creepy characters from fairy tales. And yet - this is an occasion to talk about real children's fears, which seem like nonsense only to adults.

The world of a child is largely fantasy: monsters live in a dark room, and a petty quarrel becomes a disaster for him. This should be treated carefully and worked out for each such phobia. Otherwise, fears can migrate to adult life in the form of complexes. We looked at five types of fears that are most common in toddlers and how to deal with them.

SOCIAL FEARS

Public fears or social phobias mean a complex of fears: fear of losing respect, love and one's value in the eyes of peers, fear of making a mistake and receiving criticism, fear of not meeting adult expectations, fear of attracting the attention of others. We asked to talk about social fears child psychologist Ekaterina Ilyicheva.

Factors in the emergence of such fears are personality traits: shyness, resentment, excessive sensitivity, if parents show excessive severity and high demands towards the child, overprotection, negatively assess the child himself, and not his behavior. Children are our mirror: they imitate adults, and if they behave in an unconstructive way, the same behavior should be expected from kids.

- What does it lead to?

For fear of losing respect, love loved one. The child has little control over his behavior, and when something goes wrong, he throws tantrums in the hope of returning love and attention. This is just one example. Social phobias are very different - from the fear of making a mistake (“I won’t do it, I won’t succeed anyway!”) To the fear of attracting attention to oneself (an exaggerated form of embarrassment).

- What are the ways to deal with fears?

In order to fight fear, you first need to acknowledge it. In no case do not deny children's fears, do not say that all this is nonsense, you are already big, boys should not be afraid of anything, and so on. Explain to the child that all people are afraid of something, just in different ages different fears. Talk to your child about his fears fairy tale in which you can tame fear or make it funny. Another way is to visualize fear. Blind it together with the child, draw it, make it out of paper: after that, the child will decide for himself what he wants to do with it, tear it, throw it away or hide it away in the closet. Play fear. The leading activity of the child is the game, it is through it that children learn the world, so why not fight fear in the game? By teaching your baby to deal with the problems that have arisen, you will lay the foundation. In the future, he will already be able to solve his problems.

FEAR OF LOST MOTHER

When I first read Cinderella to my daughter, in the place when the Fairy comes to the heroine, my daughter pointed to the picture and said: “Mom.” I began to explain to her that Cinderella did not have a mother, some children do this, and this is an aunt. But she pointed her finger at the Fairy and repeated: "Mom." Since then, in this fairy tale, mother comes to help Cinderella.

Children are afraid to be left without the closest person. They react sharply to the departure of their mother, ask their mother to play together, to be always there. Often this is due to a lack of communication. This is especially acute when the mother goes to work or baby goes to the garden. The time of joint leisure is sharply reduced, the child misses his mother, he will become hysterical, demanding attention to himself.

Every day, take a few minutes to just cuddle, to feel tactile contact. Tell your child more often that he is the dearest person on earth and that you will always be there. Give advance notice of your departure. This may cause a negative reaction, but you are there and can calm him down. It will be ready for your absence, and will quickly return to its normal state after you leave. If possible, set a specific return time in advance (“I’ll come when you have had lunch”) and keep your promises!

FEAR OF BEING Abandoned

The search teams have a rule: if a child is lost on the street and the parents cannot find him for a long time, relatives are persuaded to go ... home. The fact is that, according to the logic of the children, the mother did not get lost, but went home. Indeed, it often turns out that the child, realizing that he cannot find his relatives, goes home (unless, of course, he is too small to remember the way).

The fear of being abandoned is one of the strongest.

Can you imagine how much it is taken for granted for children that mom or dad can leave them and go home? It seems absurd to adults, but not to children. This fear is widespread, so parents should not use it as a threat to maintain discipline, nor as a "joke". Any time your child expresses this fear, use emotional parenting techniques to acknowledge his feelings. Reassure the children that you will always love him and take good care of him. Tell your child that you will be there no matter what.

FEAR OF SLEEP

One day the child decides that he will not sleep anymore. The reasons may be different. Either the child had a nightmare, or he lay in bed for a long time and could not sleep, or something frightened him in the evening. In a word, at one moment the child had a fear of sleep.

What to do? One option is to read The Bunny Who Wants to Sleep before bed. This fairy tale is built on special psychological techniques that help children fall asleep easier and faster. Traveling with Roger Rabbit (or Baby Elephant from the similar book Baby Elephant Who Wants to Sleep), the child will relax and fall asleep. The books are written by a professional psychologist and the techniques are based on Erickson's hypnosis method. Fairy tales are completely safe for kids and effective: many fall asleep by the middle of the story.

FEAR OF THE DARK

For children, darkness embodies the great unknown, this is where all the monsters live. If you do not pay attention to this fear (it will pass by itself!), You can keep the child’s need to sleep with someone or with the lights on for a long time. It is necessary to gently and gradually get rid of the fear of the dark, then the baby will sleep without problems alone without light.

Many parents try to help the child, convincing him that this is nothing. Don't do it, he won't believe you anyway. Rather, the baby will decide that you simply do not understand him. Better use the method from the children's book I'm Not Afraid of the Dark! . First, using the example of a book, and then in a real room, show that scary things that seem so in the dark are very cute and harmless when the lights turn on!

FEAR OF PARENTAL quarrels

Parents' quarrels can be very upsetting for children - they feel that this is a threat to their safety. As they get older, children learn what parental scandals can lead to and fear that parental conflict will end in divorce. In addition, children often take responsibility for the conflict, believing that they caused their parents to quarrel. Often, children believe that they are responsible for the preservation of the family and are able to resolve the conflict.