The presence of children has long been considered a certain indicator of male power. By tradition, a man is simply obliged to have a family and children, for whom he is the breadwinner and protector. The psychology of fatherhood is rather complicated.

Let's try to figure it out!

• In modern times, the content of the father's role began to change significantly. Society, school, peers, the media and, of course, the Internet, as well as the direct intervention of the state in family life, have a significant impact on the institution of paternity.

• For modern men, the emotional and psychological aspects of fatherhood are significantly important. The family should occupy a central place in a man's life, since it is she who determines mental well-being. Most often, the emotional closeness of the father with the children remains symbolic, and their real relationship is largely carried out through the mediation of the mother.

• We live in a time when there is an increase in the number of illegitimate children, and the number of divorces is increasing every day. And a large proportion of men unfortunately do not live with their families. And after divorces, most children, as a rule, stay with their mother, after which their communication with their fathers is limited, sometimes even completely stopped. This is mainly due to the fact that men themselves lose interest in their children. But it may also be that ex-wives prevent such contacts. As a result of all this, fatherlessness is on the rise. But not only children and women suffer from this, but also the fathers themselves. A man who loves his child, becoming a father, acquires a new responsibility, but in a divorce, all this turns only against him. This means that children make a man more vulnerable.

The psychology of fatherhood is so multifaceted that it is almost impossible to understand it. To do this, it is necessary to study the history of how the role of fatherhood in society has changed from generation to generation. By the way, not only men, but also women think about the fate of fatherhood. Now modern women are competing with men in almost all spheres of public life, but before this was not and could not be. And this, in turn, creates new problems for men. But no one can give an unambiguous answer to the question of why today's men are significantly different from men of the past ...

The role of the father in the upbringing of the child.

The role of the father in the process of raising a child is recognized as one of the most important in the formation and development of the child. Young people who have recently become fathers begin to feel belonging to fatherhood as the baby matures. On this occasion, they say that while the father does not have the fullness of such feelings, he must love the mother of his child.

The role of the father is defined in the following categories:

• taking part of the father in the early stage of the baby's sexual identification;
• the child's perception of the father as a kind of role model, a symbol of a real man and a vision of a symbolic function that helps him in developing ideas about himself and the people around him;
• a man - a father at birth is given to be the protector of his family, and it is a small child, to a greater extent, that activates this trait in him;
• the father is presented as a child in the role of a totem, which gives more confidence and authority, in addition, the baby realizes that the father personifies discipline and order;
• the father is identified by the child with the source of knowledge about the world around him, that is, an important subject for determining the future path of life and interaction with society;
• the father is able to teach the baby to apply adequate techniques for dealing with aggression from outsiders, as well as to develop in him such abilities as initiative and an indifferent attitude to group pressure;
• the father is considered an authoritarian subject in relation to the child and, in this regard, contributes to its beneficial development;
• the father gives the child more independence, thus instilling in him a tendency to self-discipline, which accelerates the introduction of the baby into social environment;
• in the eyes of the child, the father is presented as a standard that allows protection from fears because he is fearless and invulnerable.

Now, a few words about how a good dad should be.

• it must be constantly within the reach of the child;
• he must constantly have the opportunity to communicate with the child, in particular, to explain things and phenomena that are incomprehensible to him;
• he must assist the child in all his achievements and, then, adequately praise him for successful results;
• he must constantly take an active part in joint activities with the baby;
• he should be responsible for providing for all the needs of the child;
• he must always be aware of all the events that occur in the life of the child, including his development.

Fatherly love and care for the child makes it possible for him to develop a future example of parental behavior. A dad who loves his baby is often a more effective caregiver than a mother. He is able to help his child form an adequate character.
The active participation of the father in the life of the child ensures the development of the following qualities: restraint, moderation of actions, stability in the manifestation of emotions, calm under any circumstances, a serene look when others panic, an optimistic mood, diligence and responsibility.

“I am very afraid and worried about the health of the child. the child has a stomach ache, I almost have a heart attack. Is this a normal reaction to what is happening or am I very impressionable. may consult a psychologist. it’s good that the wife is calm and reasonable.” Oleg is 40 years old. “I have such a problem, I am actually very afraid to take the baby in my arms, it always seems to me that I can crush him ..... he is so small .... What should I do? And the wife begins to be offended, saying that you do not love the child???? I talked on this topic with girls who recently gave birth on babyblog.ru, so they say that many have such problems, and many men are afraid of this ((((But how can I explain this to my wife and how to overcome fear .... I I don't know.” Anatoly, 37. What are the problems of contemporary Russian fathers?

What is the age of modern fathers at the birth of their first child? The study has been conducted since 2008 in order to analyze changes in the age of fathers at the birth of their first child over a period of 5 years. Research base: VAO, Kindergarten 437 Survey sample for 2012 of fathers (The study is also conducted on the basis of the PMPK VAO; the survey sample for 2011 is 614 fathers).

In recent decades, the number of studies on the role of the father has been steadily growing (The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, Current Directions in Psychological Science, etc.). They show that paternal influence is often independent of maternal, or at least as important as maternal. Questions of the importance of fatherly involvement, love, positive fatherly care (fathering) for children and adolescents have been actively studied. How relevant is research in the field of fatherhood psychology?

The main directions of studying the influence of the father on the development of the personality of the child Yu.V. Borisenko Model of the relationship of factors that determine the specifics of paternity // family psychology and family therapy

Who is the most important person in a child's life? A father, many will tell and they will be right. What is modern understanding of fathers role, and how much it differs from traditional? Recently questions connected with traditional and modern understanding of fathers role are often discussed, there are myths about "family crash", "loss of fatherly authority", "domination of mother in education of children". To understand the features of present fathers, we will try to consider the changes occurring to a family in culture and society.

Fatherhood is a set of social and individual characteristics of a person, including all levels of a person’s life, associated with both the objective characteristics of the person and the subjective characteristics of the person - value orientations, worldview, as well as with the “image of the Self” (real, ideal, social), “ Self-concept" of personality and self-esteem. - this is an open system that has its own fairly stable structure, components, connections and levels, as well as interacting with the environment, as a result of which the development of this system is possible. The most important characteristic of fatherhood is its social determinism. The society not only imposes certain requirements on the various statuses of the father, but also regulates the behavior of a person who has a certain status through a system of social roles. “One of the most controversial and complex is the social role of the father,” writes R. Rohner (2011). Is it possible to define the concept of "paternity"? P. L. Eagle Is there a father instinct? Fathers responsibility for children. Report for Population Council. - NY., 1994.

Is there a model for the formation of a “parental relationship” (“the paternal role of a man”)? Individual (personal) level Influence of the personal factor on ideas about the father's role. The level of one's own family The influence of family conditions on the perception of the father's role The level of society The influence of social factors on the perception of the father's role Factor D Personality of the child (sex, age, individual psychological characteristics). Factor C Environmental factors Factor B Associated with the influence of the mother of the child (the man's spouse). Factor A Associated with relationships in the marital dyad. Model Yu.V. BorisenkoModel R.V. Ovcharova R.V. Ovcharova Psychological support of parenthood. M.:, 2003.

This model performs a descriptive function, characterizes and organizes all possible functions and aspects of the application and implementation of these functions of the phenomenon under study both in society and in the life of a particular individual, which makes it possible to study any individual aspect of the paternity phenomenon in conjunction with its other characteristics. Functional model of paternity Yu.V. Borisenko

These components are identified in accordance with the principle of the psychological macrostructure of the personality according to B. G. Ananiev, respectively, the structural model of paternity is subject to two principles of constructing the personality structure: subordination and coordination. That is, more complex components have a direct impact on the underlying levels of the structure, however, all components have sufficient autonomy. Structural model of paternity Yu.V. Borisenko (Sh. Bart, V.E. Ftenakis, GG. Filippova and others). Borisenko Yu.V. Model of the relationship of factors that determine the specifics of paternity // Family psychology and family therapy

Is it possible to speak of the existence various types fatherhood motivation? Arkhireeva T.V., Polevaya E.V. Motivation for fatherhood as a determinant of the relationship of a father to a child // Family psychology and family therapy

The "influence" of the father on the child is individual and largely depends on the personality of the man himself and the intra-family context of his relationship with the child. Another conclusion concerns the fact that the age-individual properties of fathers, such as the level of masculinity, intelligence, emotionality, etc., affect the development of the child to a lesser extent than the nature of the relationship between them and their children. It should be recognized that the very nature of the relationship that a father builds with his child depends on the individual characteristics of the man's personality.

Most women tend to prioritize family and motherhood over a career: this opinion is shared by 79% of women and 85% of men. In addition, according to the results of the survey, 75% of men and 61% of women believe that the main duties of a woman should be, first of all, related to the family, and men to work. At the same time, 78% of women and 76% of men believe that both men and women should contribute to the family budget, which underlines the importance of a successful professional career for a woman.

Modern methods artificial insemination, the practice of raising children in lesbian couples that is developing in the West, an unprecedented increase in the number of divorces and single-parent families are increasingly leading to the disappearance of the father figure from the social situation of the child's development, which raises the question of the consequences of such shifts in the upbringing of children for their mental development, sexual identity, emotional well-being. As I.S. Kon, the idea of ​​the weakness and inadequacy of fathers is one of the most common stereotypes of public consciousness.

There may not be fundamental differences in the parental care of a child between a man and a woman, especially with regard to the operational and technical side of the parental relationship. AND I. Varga points to the prejudice of modern society, sexism, a firm belief that men and women differ from each other not only in anatomical and physiological features, but simply in their soul, psyche. In culture, such discourses as “women’s mind”, “men’s affairs”, “women’s duties”, etc. are widespread. For a systematic approach ( we are talking about systemic family psychotherapy), according to the author, this is a significant limitation, because on such representations it is very difficult to build a functional system with flexible and interchangeable functions. Is the transition to understanding the Family within the framework of a systematic approach possible? A. Varga Systemic family psychotherapy // Journal practical psychology and psychoanalysis

According to statistics (Barth S., 2010), 96% of fathers in Germany are present at the birth of their child. This is not just observation, this is the experience of the birth process with the mother and the child. Although this has become the norm relatively recently, for a long time, joint births were forbidden for hygienic or moral reasons. It is shown that such fathers become very close to their children, with whom they went through childbirth together. S. Barth writes that “such fathers try to take a real active part in the life of their children and consider the time spent with the child, in essence (of course, not all 100% of fathers), as something valuable, as a personal achievement, and not as pointlessly lost." Father's involvement in childbirth (Studies in Germany and the USA). G.G. Filippova Motherhood and its main aspects of research in psychology // Issues of Psychology

Gender-role identification Motor skills development Cognitive development Assimilation of moral norms Development emotional and personal spheres What is the significance of fatherhood in the mental development of a child? Borisenko Yu.V. The psychology of fatherhood. M

1. The father is essential for the emergence of a child's nuclear gender identity and the mastery of gender identity. (It should be noted that the father's level of masculinity in itself is not important for the formation of an adequate sex-role identity (no significant correlations were found between the masculinity of fathers and the masculinity of sons). A child's identification with his father is facilitated by the degree of his warmth and emotional involvement) 2. A father is necessary for successful formation of femininity of daughters. (the femininity of girls is positively correlated with the masculinity of their fathers). In order to successfully assume the female sex role, a girl must feel pride in being a woman and identify with her mother in her relationship with her father. The absence of a father disrupts the formation of a gender-role identity in girls, which leads to an increase in separation anxiety and a denial of feelings associated with the departure of their father. The psychology of fatherhood is one of the most interesting and at the same time the least studied areas of the psychology of parenthood, what are the achievements of this field of knowledge?

1.3. Freud singled out the following most important aspects of the relationship between father and child: 1) the father is the embodiment of power, as an object of admiration and love; 2) the father as an object of realization of the need for security and protection; 3) the father as an authority who punishes misconduct and thus regulates the behavior, and in the future, the moral attitudes of a person. 2. K.G. Jung believed that the father always embodies the authority and overall orientation of the child in the outside world. The father “reveals the objective external world to the child and, personifying the sphere of authority and morality, on the contrary, creates protection from subjective spiritual clones” 3. E. Fromm wrote that “the emergence of a child’s need for fatherly love refers to the age after 6 years. The father should provide the child with a strong sense of self-reliance and in time allow him to manage himself and do without his father's guidance. A look at "fatherhood" within the framework of orthodox and neo-Freudian psychoanalysis What is the role of the father in the development of children in the first years of life? (from the point of view of psychoanalysis)

Joyce McDougal (triangulation theory) writes that a mother can help her child become self-reliant and overcome self-dependence if she has full-fledged loving relationship with the child's father. Thus, the "feminine" in the mother is gradually separated from the fusion with the child and again turns towards the man. (The appearance of the third figure of the father allows the child to work out the optimal distance to the mother and get out of symbiotic fusion with her). 3. Children who are more emotionally responsive and involved in children's parental relationship fathers are characterized by better cognitive development. So, for example, often fathers prefer to talk to young children "in an adult way", thereby stimulating their language development. 4. The role of the father in the development of the child's motor skills, his sensory stimulation and the development of space is emphasized. This is facilitated by the "rough" kinesthetic games of men with young children, which, as research shows, are different from the games of a child with mothers. Usually these are tosses, harmless power fuss, riding on the shoulders, teaching the child to walk, etc. (Barth S., 1999). Friedrich E. Triangulation // Psychoanalytic Bulletin

1. The father plays the role of a “bridge” between the narrow family environment and outside world, expanding the child's linguistic and practical experience. And the personality of the father is of paramount importance here not only for children, but also for his immediate environment, which to a large extent influences the formation of the image of the father in the child, writes M.N. Epstein 2. A. Adler emphasized the role of the father in shaping the child's social interest. 3. G. Kraig wrote that fathers who held a child in their arms immediately after birth grow up to be more responsive socially. 3. D. S. Akivis noted, loving father often a more effective educator than a woman. He takes care of children less, provides the child with more independence, cultivating self-discipline in him. 4. A positive relationship with the father is associated with such qualities of children as emotional balance, optimism, high self-control, a good understanding of social standards, and more successful mastery of the requirements of the environment. What are the psychological aspects of the role of the father in the "socialization" of the child? P. Popova Modern man in the mirror family life. M

The relationship of the child with the father does not end, of course, even after a divorce. Even if the child does not see his father for a long time, he continues to exist for him as an “internal object”, just like for his mother. Let the idea of ​​him, as well as his mental value in the mind of the child, have changed, but the image of the father still continues to live. For the mother, the child, willy-nilly, for the rest of his life remains a “representative” of her past and his father. The problem of the presence of the father as an "internal object" in the mind of the child is comprehended theoretically rather than subjected to empirical verification. The image of a father in a child from an incomplete family has practically not been experimentally studied. Other studies of this kind were carried out mainly within the framework of psychoanalysis of object relations theory and related concepts. What is the meaning of the phenomenon of "Internal Object"?

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MINISTRY OF EDUCATION OF THE REPUBLIC OF BELARUS

Educational Institution "Vitebsk State University named after P.M. Masherov"

Faculty of Social Pedagogy and Psychology

Department of Applied Psychology

Subject: Family psychology

Topic: Psychology of motherhood and fatherhood

Performed:

Saprikova Galina Sergeevna

4th year students 45 gr. WFD

Vitebsk 2013

1. The phenomenon of fatherhood. Personal development of a man in parenthood

2. The phenomenon of motherhood. Personal development of a woman in motherhood

List of used literature

personality male fatherhood motherhood woman

1. The Paternity Phenomenon. Personal development of a man in parenthood

Against the background of the relative study of motherhood in the literature, the father is assigned a secondary role, coming after the mother. It is often argued that the best thing a man can do for his future is either born child First of all, love your wife very much. K. Whitaker assigns the father the role of only an outside observer both during the wife's pregnancy and during the care of the baby. This "non-inclusion" in a man causes a feeling of loneliness, and also causes him pain.

Fatherhood as a set of social and individual characteristics of a person, including all levels of human life, is also associated with objective characteristics of a person, such as: needs, inclinations, desires, attitudes, and with subjective characteristics of a person - value orientations, worldview, and also with the image of the Self ( real, ideal, social), I-concept of personality and self-esteem. For a man - it is a problem of personal development, the problem of accepting one's feelings and their self-control. Awareness of oneself as a father leads to the realization of the need to live "correctly", that is, to fulfill certain social norms prescribed for an adult. The growing child becomes a continuation of a man, satisfies the need for a student, for his own significance and need.

Much depends on how much this role is accepted by a man. In the study by P. Popova, some aspects of accepting the role of a father by a man were highlighted: respect and affection for the father by the mother; peculiarities parental family the man and his relationship with his father; an important factor is the age of the man; participation of the father in communication with the child before birth and during infancy; participation of the father in childbirth.

According to M. West and M. Conner, the elements on which the content of the father's role directly depends include:

1) the total number of wives and children that the father has and is responsible for;

2) the degree of his power over them;

3) the amount of time the father spends with his wife and children, as well as the quality of these contacts;

4) the way he takes care of the children;

5) the extent to which he is responsible for both direct and indirect teaching of the necessary skills, as well as the values ​​of his children;

6) the degree of his personal participation in ritual events that are associated with children;

7) how much he works for the livelihood of his family;

8) how much he needs to make efforts to protect or increase the resources of his family.

The phenomenon of fatherhood is directly related to the following concepts: emotional, motivational and value-semantic spheres, self-esteem, self-consciousness and self-concept, life satisfaction, as well as lifestyle, the social role of the pope, which differs depending on the social system, as well as social, economic and political spheres of society, directly the status of a man in a given society and social stereotypes that prescribe certain rules for fulfilling this role.

From this perspective, the definition of paternity as innate feeling that encourages a man to act with advanced responsibility in relation to his child (or his children) is not satisfactory. It is proposed to consider paternity as integral set social and individual characteristics of a person, which includes all levels of human life, an important characteristic of which is its complexity and social determinism.

The structure of paternity should include the following components :

need-emotional component, which includes biological, social aspects of motivation, as well as the need for contact, emotional reactions and experiences;

operational component, which includes awareness and skills, as well as operations for the care of the child and communication with him;

value-semantic component, which includes the relationship of the father to his child, including also existential experiences.

Also, it is necessary to include an integral through component in this structure - appraisal, including:

1) self-esteem as part of the self-concept, acceptance or rejection of the role of a father, as well as a rational and emotional assessment of oneself as a father and one's child;

2) the social assessment of others, which is based on the social stereotypes accepted in a particular society and instructions for fulfilling the role, as well as the requirements that must be met to comply with the status.

Social assessment becomes the basis for the formation own assessment, because through social stereotypes it forms images of the I-ideal. If we talk about the evaluation component, then it is integral, since it permeates and affects all other components of the structure.

The above components have been identified by us on the basis of the principle of the psychological macrostructure of the personality (B.G. Ananiev), therefore, the structural model of paternity is subject to the following principles for constructing the personality structure:

subordinate;

coordination.

Thus, the acceptance of the role of a father plays a crucial role in the performance of paternal functions, however, despite the fact that awareness of oneself as a father occurs mainly after the birth of a child, various aspects of accepting a child and oneself as a father begin to take shape long before direct interaction with the child.

2. The phenomenon of motherhood. Personal development of a woman in motherhood

Motherhood is studied in line with various sciences: history, cultural studies, medicine, physiology, biology of behavior, sociology, psychology. Each science studies and defines motherhood, based on its goals and objectives. Interest in the comprehensive study of motherhood has appeared relatively recently. But to date, there is no single definition of the concept of "motherhood".

In the dictionary of the Russian language S.I. Ozhegov, "motherhood" is interpreted as "the state of a woman during pregnancy, childbirth, feeding a child; the mother's inherent consciousness of her kinship with children."

In the sexological dictionary, motherhood is defined as a function female body, aimed at the continuation of the human race and including biological (carrying, giving birth and feeding a child) and social (raising a child) aspects.

Filippova G.G. considers motherhood as a psychosocial phenomenon: as providing conditions for the development of a child, as part of a woman's personal sphere.

Representatives of the feminist approach declare motherhood an essential, albeit optional, part of a woman's life.

Most of the theories of motherhood (psychoanalysis, biosociology, theories based on the ideas of Rousseau) consider motherhood, first of all, as a duty, work. Motherhood as one of the social female roles, the content of which is determined by social norms and values.

Thus, there is no single, unambiguous concept of "motherhood". However, the importance of maternal behavior for the development of the child, its complex structure and developmental path, the multiplicity of cultural and individual options, as well as great amount Modern research in this area allows us to talk about motherhood as an independent reality that requires the development of a holistic scientific approach for its study.

In the psychological literature, much attention is paid to the biological foundations of motherhood, as well as the conditions and factors of its individual development in humans. AT domestic psychology Recently, a number of works have also appeared related to phenomenology, psychophysiology, the psychology of motherhood, psychotherapeutic and psychological-pedagogical aspects of pregnancy and early stages motherhood, deviant motherhood.

If we summarize all the main areas of research, we can find that motherhood as a psychosocial phenomenon is considered from two main positions:

1. motherhood as providing conditions for the development of the child;

2. motherhood as part of a woman's personal sphere.

Motherhood - this is one of the social female roles, therefore, even if the need to be a mother is inherent in the female nature, social norms and values ​​have a decisive influence on the manifestations of the maternal attitude. The concept of "the norm of maternal attitude" is not constant, since the content of maternal attitudes varies from era to era.

One or another social attitude corresponds to a certain image of the child. Deviant manifestations of maternal attitude have always existed, but they could be more hidden or open forms and accompanied by more or less guilt, depending on the public attitude towards these acts.

In the psychological research of the phenomenon of motherhood, there are many directions that can be combined as follows.

The functions of the mother, the features of her behavior, experiences, attitudes, expectations, etc. are singled out and described in detail. Popular is the allocation of types and styles of maternal behavior, attitudes, positions, etc.

It is in these studies that the focus on the age characteristics of the child (and the period of motherhood) is most clearly manifested, depending on which the characteristics of the mother are distinguished (and explained). Therefore, it is advisable to analyze such works according to the criterion of the period of motherhood, correlated with the age of the child.

Pregnancy. From the standpoint of the analysis of pregnancy as a condition for the development of the child, the features mental state women in pregnancy, affecting the development of the child. First of all, it is the presence of stress, depression, psychopathological features, their occurrence and exacerbation in different periods of pregnancy.

Motherhood as part of a woman's personal sphere. In modern personality psychology and psychotherapeutically oriented areas, motherhood is studied in terms of a woman's satisfaction with her maternal role, as a stage of personal and gender identification. In all these cases, separate aspects of motherhood or its individual functions are singled out. Within this direction, the following aspects can be distinguished.

Motherhood as a stage of age and gender and personal identification. In studies in this area, motherhood is analyzed from the point of view of a woman's personal development, psychological and physiological features different periods of the reproductive cycle (unlike other periods of life), etc. Such research is carried out within the framework of various psychological approaches (psychoanalysis, humanistic psychology, other personal approaches, psychiatry, psychophysiology, ethology, cross-cultural studies, comparative psychology, etc.) using various methods (questionnaires, interviews, conversation, psychophysiological and projective methods , observation, etc.).

One of the most important phases is pregnancy, which is considered as a critical period in a woman's life, a stage of gender identification, a special situation for adaptation. In works devoted to this problem, pregnancy is understood as an acute transition period often accompanied by crises. During pregnancy, the consciousness of a woman and her relationship with the world change significantly. The first pregnancy is especially stressful, since it means the end of an independent, primarily holistic existence and the beginning of an "irrevocable" mother-child relationship, since from now on the mother's mental balance becomes connected with the demands of a helpless and dependent being. It can be considered a critical point in the development of female identity. During this period, persistent children's psychological problems, personal conflicts, problems in interaction with their mother are actualized, in the experiences of pregnancy, the features of the model of motherhood of one's mother, adaptation to marriage, etc. play a role. In the dynamics of personality changes, infantilization, aggravation of intrapersonal conflicts, increased dependence, and anxiety levels are noted.

Researchers from different areas mainly distinguish three stages in the development of pregnancy.

The first refers to the beginning of pregnancy.

The second usually coincides with the beginning of the movements.

The third is the final phase of preparation for childbirth and captures the immediate postpartum period.

Within the framework of the transpersonal approach, the actualization of one’s prenatal experience of emotional interaction with the mother during pregnancy is considered, first of all, emotional confrontation, problems of identification with a key personality, the transfer of the functions of an object of attraction, an object of affection, etc., to the child, a typology of attitudes towards pregnancy according to the criterion of conscious - unconscious acceptance - rejection.

As a result of the successful completion of this transition, a woman achieves internal and external integration and acquires a new social status.

List of used literature

1. Bodalev A.A., Stolin V.V. Family in psychological counseling. - M., 1989.

2. Druzhinin V.N. Family psychology. - Yekaterinburg: Business book, 2000.

3. Mukhina V.S. Types of maternal attitude to the child and psychological problems of motherhood // Psychology of parenthood and family education: Proceedings of the II International Conference. - Kurgan: Publishing House of KSU, 2004.

4. Ovcharova R.V. Psychology of parenting. - M.: Academy, 2005.

5. Spivakovskaya, A.S. Psychotherapy: play, childhood, family. - M.: OOO April Press; CJSC Publishing House EKSMO-Press, 2000. - Volume 2.

6. Filippova G.G. Psychology of motherhood. - M.: Publishing House of the Institute of Psychotherapy, 2002.

7. Schneider L.B. Psychology of family relations. Lecture course. - M.: April-Press; Publishing house EKMO-Press, 2000.

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thesis, added 01/01/2010


Concepts and functions of motherhood. Psychophysiological aspects and stages of formation of readiness to motherhood. Zmіst ta form a robotic psychologist for the preparation of a woman to motherhood. Analysis for additional questionnaires on the psychological readiness of female students to become mothers.

In one of the Moscow kindergartens, a psychologist suggested that 5-6-year-old children play the famous game "Mothers and Daughters". The girls quickly distributed the roles of mother, daughter, grandmother among themselves, but none of the boys agreed to be a dad, at best, only a son or a dog. After much persuasion, one of the boys agreed to the role of father - he lay down on the sofa and said: "Give me a newspaper and turn on the TV. Don't make noise! ​​I'll sleep, and then I'll play the computer." That's how he played the whole game. When asked by a psychologist what mothers and grandmothers do, all children, including boys, answered willingly and in detail. Few spoke about what dads do, and in the most general terms: “go to work,” “earn money,” “scold mom,” “punish.”

Indeed, a modern dad for his child often becomes something mythical and inaccessible. He leaves early in the morning, the whole day somewhere "at work" he does something important, and in the evening he returns tired. It is only enough for a newspaper and TV, sometimes a computer. In essence, work, hobbies, the life of the father pass by the attention of the child. The father is not a partner, not a friend, but a kind of punitive authority. “I’ll tell my father, he will show you how not to obey,” mother often threatens. Such alienation, withdrawal from parenting, seems to be a stereotype of our "father culture".

Psychologists interviewed young dads from families with a child of the first year of life: "Are you interested in communicating with your baby? How much time do you spend with him? Do you play with him? What games?" Most of the fathers answered like this: “What does he understand! When he grows up, we will play football with him, go to hockey, but for now, let my mother and grandmother nurse.”

The attitude towards detachment often becomes a source of misunderstanding, distrust, conflicts in subsequent years, right up to adolescence and youth. Missed from the start early childhood first contact with the baby. All this subsequently affects the difficulties of mutual understanding between fathers and children, in the child's lack of trust and affection for his father.

The problem of establishing contacts between the infant and the father, starting from the first days of life, has been well studied by foreign psychologists. In a study by Margaret Rodholm, fathers were able to contact children born with caesarean section, for about 15 minutes, while they were offered to hold the child in their arms, talk to him, stroke the head, arms and legs of the newborn. As well as for mothers, early contact with the child of fathers influenced subsequent interaction: such fathers showed a greater understanding of the needs of children, experienced more positive emotions in contact with children.

Fathers who were present at the birth say that they almost immediately became attached to the child, experienced an emotional upsurge, pride, grew in their own eyes. The presence at childbirth, joint experiences also strengthen the husband's attachment to his wife, the feeling of community between husband and wife, which often weakens when the newborn becomes the center of the mother's interests.

According to the results psychological research babies whose fathers cared for them from the first days of life show a higher level of mental and physical development, grow up more emotionally responsive. There is less friction between the spouses, they have a unity of purpose and agreement in making decisions on the upbringing of the child.

However, psychologists also noted that the attitude of fathers towards infants, who seek to take an active part in caring for the child, differs from the attitude of mothers. Fathers mostly play with the baby, while mothers usually swaddle, bathe and feed him. Even when caring for a child, fathers prefer to do it in a playful manner. At the same time, fathers play with children differently than mothers. Fathers are more prone to energetic games, aimed primarily at physical development child: they throw babies up, move their arms and legs, play the game "over bumps, over bumps", swing on their feet, circle, roll on their backs. Mothers, on the other hand, treat babies more carefully, gently talk, stroke, and carefully carry them in their arms.

Fathers who develop strong emotional bonds with their children in infancy are more responsive to the changing needs and interests of their growing children later on. In general, such fathers have more influence on their child. Children listen to them more, are guided by their opinion, sons want to be like their fathers, with whom they have a warm, versatile relationship.

In the USA, Germany, France, and other countries, "schools for dads" are successfully operating, where they teach how to care for, communicate, play with a small child, understand him, and see him as a developing personality.

In Russia, with its cultural and historical features, there is a somewhat different situation than in the West. The data of sociological studies of the 1990s, although they note an increase in the priority of the family among Russian men, still do not reveal a transformation in the image of the father in the public mind. Thus, Russian men to a large extent preserve the traditional image of the father-breadwinner and realize the archaic male role, continuing to consider caring for small children and their upbringing as a predominantly female occupation. This, in part, explains sociologists found in the survey a strong hidden competition and discrepancy between the expectations of men and women regarding women's role in society.

However, the data obtained also show that not only in the West, but also in Russia, fathers are increasingly involved in the care of infants and participate in their upbringing, and cooperation is emerging in families, which past generations did not know. Thus, the functions of the father in the family are undergoing relatively rapid changes, a new model of paternity is emerging, combining two forms emotional attitude to the child - conditional paternal and unconditionally accepting maternal love.

Ready for fatherhood

There is a psychological connection between the formation of paternal feelings and the level of maturity of the parent's personality. This is why, more often than not, fatherhood is fully experienced by fathers of later children. The main psychological difficulty of "immature" fathers, which, by the way, is also characteristic of young mothers, lies in the inability to derive pleasure, joy from communicating with a child. The maturity of paternal feelings is expressed in a loving, accepting parenting style. Such fathers have developed empathy (the ability to empathize - ed.), they tend to patronize, take care of the child, and fatherhood captures them with all its might in the first years of the child's life. Describing the paternal love of mature fathers, we can say that they feel the need to teach, pass on themselves, make the child their heir in the highest cultural sense, that is, pass on to the future all the best that you yourself own. These fathers are more effective in interacting with children of early and preschool age. In contact with a child, truly masculine traits mature - the need and ability to protect, take responsibility, internal energy and strength grow stronger.

What happens when paternal feelings or the role of the father in the family are not sufficiently expressed, how does this affect the development of the child?

Psychologists have well studied situations of paternal deprivation (i.e. situations of "deprivation of the father" - ed.), where the father, although physically present, is either inactive or acts distortedly in an educational sense. In such families, there is usually an inversion of roles - the strict authority here is more often represented by the mother. As a result of mother's dominance and father's alienation, the positive identification of the child with parental models is violated.

Under normal circumstances, the father greatly influences the gender identity of the child. For a son at an early age, he is a kind of example, a role model, therefore, influences the formation of gender identity. As I.S. Kohn, passive, aloof fathers have little influence on the formation of proper masculine traits in their sons. Insufficient experience of communication with the father weakens the formation of paternal feelings in the boy and young man, and often adversely affects the future upbringing of his own children.

Psychiatrist R. Campbell notes that the influence of the father on the girl's sexual identification is most significantly manifested during adolescence. The gender identity of a girl is the approval of herself as a worthy representative of the female sex. It is at this age of 13-15 years that she should receive recognition of her importance as a future woman, mainly from her father. The father contributes to the formation of positive self-esteem in the daughter, expressing approval of her actions, abilities, and appearance. Girls brought up without fathers, in the absence of a real model of relations between a man and a woman, may form an unrealistic attitude towards males.

In the field emotional development revealed a relationship between the absence or weakness of the paternal principle and aggressive behavior boys. Excessive hostility towards others arises in them as a rebellion against excessive dependence on the mother during the first years of life. Aggressiveness, therefore, is an expression of the search for one's male "I".

Boys who are overly attached to their mother may have difficulty communicating with peers.

Well-known domestic psychologist A.I. Zakharov characterizes fathers whose children are ill with neurosis as more timid, shy, silent, withdrawn, reserved in communication, sensitive to threat, cautious, inflexible in judgments, conservative, focused more on personal opinion than the opinions of others.

Impulsive, impulsive fathers, prone to unexpected actions, sons often suffer from neuroses in the form of enuresis, tics, stuttering. Excessive severity of the father can provoke the appearance of fears in the son. The same effect is observed in the daughter, in the absence of clear requirements and permissiveness on the part of the father.

The influence of the father on the mental development of the child

Features of the father's role in the family and the upbringing of children are determined by such factors as the availability of the father for the child, his involvement in joint activities. Comparison of "included fathers" and "included mothers", i.e. actively involved in upbringing, led to the conclusion that such fathers influence the development of the child more successfully than mothers.

Psychologists have obtained data showing that children growing up without a father develop more humanitarian abilities. When comparing maternal and paternal parenting styles, it was shown that the father's authoritarianism has mainly positive influence on the cognitive abilities of children, while the mother's authoritarianism is negative. The intellectual characteristics of the father correspond more precisely than those of the mother to the formation of the cognitive skills of the child, regardless of his gender. A positive correlation was found between the giftedness of children and the level of complexity of their father's profession.

Many researchers emphasize the exceptional importance of parental behavior in the first years of a child's life for the development of his self-esteem. Parental attitudes that make the child feel loved, treated with respect, cause him to have a similar attitude, leading to a sense of self-worth and success. Thus, warmth, caring parents and their exactingness, dictated by love, should contribute to the development of positive self-esteem, and cold, hostile relationships lead to the opposite effect.

Although almost all parents love their children, there are differences between them in how often and openly they express this feeling.

Our culture is not characterized by the outward manifestation of love, tenderness of the father to the child. It’s rare to see dad walking by the hand with his son – more often they walk side by side and don’t even talk, as if dad just accompanies the child. Hug, put on your knees, praise, ask what you saw on a walk, in kindergarten, being surprised, admiring the construction of cubes, drawing, the ability to dance, reciting a poem - all this is not typical for most modern fathers.

Nowadays, the love of a father for a child is most often expressed in the purchase of an expensive toy. But much more than even the most attractive toy, a child needs paternal attention, participation, understanding, friendship, common interests. Dad is not just a breadwinner, but a person who opens the world to the child, helping him grow skillful, self-confident.

Another negative feature of our current trend education - the predominance of censure over praise. Many dads think that educating means making comments, forbidding, punishing, and this is precisely what they see as their parental function. As a result, by the age of 4-5, the child develops an idea of ​​​​the father as a person who, unlike the mother, expects "wrong", "bad" behavior from the child, evaluates him low - not only this or that specific act, but also the personality the child as a whole. In the future, this idea spreads to other people - the child becomes unsure of himself, expects negative assessments of his abilities and skills from others.

The authoritarian style of upbringing is especially unfavorable for the development of the child's personality. characteristic feature behavior of authoritarian fathers is their desire for peremptory judgments and clarity in every situation. Therefore, any punishment, any requirement for a child does not contain even a hint of readiness to accept the child, help him in something or convince him. Such fathers may at times sincerely believe that their child is bad in its entirety, without any reservations. As a result, from the first years of life, the child grows confident that he is not accepted, not approved, and ultimately leads to the conviction that he is useless for his parents. Tension is noted in the behavior of children as a result of such upbringing. In addition, any new or unclear situation in children is associated with the possibility of punishment, which in turn is accompanied by increased anxiety and a sense of discomfort. And since for a child early age very many situations are unfamiliar, he is in an anxious state almost all the time.

However, even by scolding and punishing the child, parents do less harm to his self-perception than by showing complete indifference to him. Indifference, disinterest in the child lead to deformation of his image of "I".

The mother should provide the father with opportunities to interact with the child from the first days of life.

The father can participate in caring for the baby: change diapers, help bathe, take a walk, feed from a bottle, etc. At the same time, it is useful to accompany your actions affectionate words facing the child, smile.

Play plays an important role in the interaction of a father with a growing child. Unlike mothers, fathers tend to play energetic, unpredictable games that children especially enjoy. The mother should not forbid such games on the grounds that playing with the father is not like playing with the mother.

Fathers interact more with their children in public places such as a zoo or amusement park. It is useful to organize such joint walks of the father with the child.

Fathers who often communicate with their young children become significant figures in the world of the child. First of all, they become a model of behavior that the child begins to follow. The more communication and interaction between the father and the child, the better for the mental development of the baby.

Adults caring for a child should try to keep his behavior within certain limits. Sometimes parents think that any control over the actions of the child will interfere with his creative activity and independence, and therefore only look helplessly as the baby does whatever he pleases. Other parents are convinced that a small child should behave consciously in everything, like an adult. They control and limit the behavior of the child, do not provide him with independence. Any instructions given by parents should not go beyond common sense and must take into account the needs of children for safety, independence and creativity.

You should make reasonable demands to children and insist on their fulfillment, make it clear to the child what is expected of him, and be consistent. Efforts need to be focused on supporting desirable behaviors, not on eliminating undesirable ones.

Avoid unnecessary use of force and threats to control children's behavior. Their use forms similar behavior in children and can cause such unpleasant traits as malevolence, cruelty and stubbornness to appear in their character.

One should be very careful in using censure and prohibition. Reprimand and prohibition should be expressed gently, benevolently, censure of the personality of the child is unacceptable, they can be addressed only to his individual actions. So, you should not say "you are bad", but "you did badly." Following the prohibition or condemnation of any action, it is necessary to show the child a positive example.