Kiv relations. Relations between a man and a woman Relations. Psychology of emotional relationships

Reasoning on the topic whether it is possible for a woman to love two men at the same time or a harmonious life-being.

Before starting a discussion on this “delicate topic,” I want to make a reservation that I will not argue from the point of view of the morality and morality of our glorious society. I will not argue from the point of view of the treatises written on this topic, and use them, but I will only share my experience and vision of this issue from the point of view of my own understanding. I’ll make a reservation right away that my understanding stems from personal work practice, conducting body-oriented groups, open communication with different people and just personal experience and understanding built from 2001 to the present. Exactly as much I was puzzled by questions about harmonious relationships in a pair of a man and a woman.

When I say woman, I mean female energy, and I describe her correct work, again, correct in my opinion. So, for whom these arguments will cause indignation, misunderstanding, etc. Please feel free to comment and comment.

And so, in order to understand whether a woman can love several men at the same time, you need to understand that a woman, by her nature, does not make decisions. Everything comes to her, everything happens to her. And therefore, she can simply wish for something, want and wait until it is sent down to her from above, and while waiting, she must not forget to make herself happy and do everything she likes. So that her expectation would be a burdensome business for me, and in everything not like expectation. Because “wait” is a figurative concept, you just need to live your full, rich and happy life and give a request to the universe, and even, as it were, forget about it. This is what an expectation should be like - without waiting (it's a pun, but I hope everyone understands).

And now, for example, a woman is ready to live, love, give birth and realize her feminine nature in a couple. She makes it clear to the universe by communicating with her through thoughts, emotions, dreams, which are reflected in her behavior, sometimes conversations, smells, etc. Those. it turns out that a woman is completely ready for the development of high-quality relationships, and she knows how to love by default.

Be in love- means to understand, accept, saturate, look into the depths and understand what this particular person (man) needs. Again, I’ll make a reservation, the ability to love cannot be addressed at all to any individual person, it simply fills all the space around and everyone who enters the field loving person by captivity and will it will be felt. To love does not mean to be kind-hearted, or generally kind, no, love can take absolutely any form that another may need, but this is a separate topic, I wrote here, for a minimum general understanding of what I am talking about.

So, a harmonious woman, ready to meet her man, completely fills her field with this readiness and love, and men begin to respond to this field, fall in love, make friends, communicate. And usually in nature it cannot be that it will be only one, there are just several or more of them at once. Then you remember, a woman does not choose, she loves and waits. Well, and the oil painting, she loves several men at once. From the point of view of morality and morality, she starts having problems if she does not know that it is simply not possible in another way.

How do such relationships usually end in terms of harmony? The man is the one who makes the decisions. And when a man is finally ready to start a family, to take responsibility, he shows that he offers something, takes care of it correctly and leaves no chances for anyone else, closes the circle of intimacy, love, tenderness and sexual harmony on himself. And the woman goes into a new state of acceptance of the one who made the choice in her favor and remains happy in the right pair for herself.

Of course, it is difficult for me to explain all the subtleties of this process. I understand that now there are many questions and objections. For example, such: how is it that a woman does not choose? A woman can certainly choose, but remember, we are talking about female energy and she does not really choose. A circle is formed around her of the men she really loves. Others do not fall into this circle, or she simply does not approach them. And already a beloved man may be ready to create a family with her, and at that moment she will no longer be on the lookout and attract someone else to her, because she got what she needed.
This is how I described harmony.
But at any stage, failure can occur. And the failure occurs through the intervention of the mind, which, in turn, from childhood was stuffed with a certain set of “right - wrong”, “possible and impossible”, and “decent and not decent”. Every self-respecting person necessarily faces his desires, his true nature - to be desired, loved, etc., which comes up against a wall of the above garbage in the brain. And now harmonious relations are, of course, difficult to achieve.

So, if you think about it, how do we find out what we like and what we don’t like, for example, in clothes, we just start choosing, trying on, trying to wear and we get experience in choosing a color, quality of fabric, style, material from which it is made, etc., etc. And as a result, over time, having all this experience behind us, just by looking at a thing, we can definitely say whether it suits us or not, whether it is ours or not, etc. Yes, everything is simple here, there are no prohibitions on gaining experience and acquiring your own taste.

Now let's look at some of the common myths about gaining experience in interacting with men. The first common myth: "He will appear out of nowhere, like a prince on a white horse." And sometimes a girl for years without leaving home continues to suffer from loneliness and continues to believe in this myth. Probably everyone knows the famous anecdote about Rabinovich, who prayed to God to win the lottery. And God could not stand it, looked out from the sky and asked Rabinovich to buy a lottery ticket so that he, God, had at least one chance. Yes, indeed, men are attracted and appear, but do not forget about your part, you must not hide that you want this, and in general, at least go to places where they can see you, and you them. A woman is "simply obliged" to live an interesting, eventful life and shines like the sun, only from happiness.

And I also want to point out a not unimportant problem, that many people are simply afraid to gain experience in communicating with the opposite sex. This happens for several reasons:

Reason 1 - I don’t really want to, because it hurts and is unpleasant (i.e., previous negative experience interferes);

Reason 2 - internal fears, about what he will think about me, I have no experience and I don’t know what to say at all;

Reason 3 - it's not decent to communicate with men, with several at once and build any, even friendly relations. And many, many other things interfere with the proper functioning of female energies.
Thus, the necessary experience of communication and recognition of beings of the opposite sex, their needs, rapprochement with them for a harmonious existence, by means of self-built barriers, is postponed into a completely unforeseeable future. But there is no experience, no understanding on such important issues:
How to meet?
What to communicate?
What does the other want and what does he need?
How to create close trusting relationships?
How to be truly happy together in the end?
And these are not all unexplored questions that have no answer if there is no experience of interaction with the opposite sex.

At one time, when in front of me, there was a whole mountain of fears and exactly the same questions about communicating with the opposite sex. I started by learning and mastering simple communication. Not for any purpose, but just for the sake of it. And over time, I began to make friends, and I gained ease in communicating with men. I didn’t want them to like or dislike, just being myself and setting myself the goal of learning to communicate, I always knew that I could find something in common in a conversation that I and the other person like. Just do not need at the beginning to focus on the fact that a person of the opposite sex. This is just a person, just like you, with his own interests, tasks and soul. And in the beginning, you just need to understand if you have common interests, topics and whether you will not be bored together, and on this solid foundation of common interests it will already be easy to build friendship, but if you still suddenly like each other as a man and a woman, then the rest will begin to happen by itself.

Yes, of course, in order to achieve ease in this matter, at one time I took a wonderful course in communication. I make a small digression on this matter. We are taught anything at school, except for the main and important thing - the art of communication, and this is a separate issue altogether. Indeed, the reason for many is not the ability to communicate and not understanding that this can really be learned.

And also an important stage in my understanding and experience was Tantra trainings, which consisted of OSHO meditations, paired meditations on recognizing and feeling the other without words, conscious meditations that helped me better understand myself and much, much more. At such trainings, I gained the first experience of my deep communication with the opposite sex. By deep, I mean understanding the soul and feeling intimacy with other beings regardless of gender. Understanding and experience that they have their own needs, their own fears, and much more, which also does not allow them to freely express themselves and be who they are. It was on such groups that I managed to overcome my fears and prejudices and see reality as it is, or one that suits me better for building harmonious relationships. At the trainings, you can gain experience in approaching two or three men at once, gain experience in understanding who is suitable and who is not suitable, in general, understand a lot, what you need about yourself and your partner, acquire personal experience, which will not lie down with its weight on the shoulders.
And in conclusion, I want to thank you for reading my reasoning to the very end. And I certainly invite you to come to trainings on Tantric meditations. I just want to study, practically, independently and at trainings, such a question as communication and mutual understanding. Live! Have fun! Go to different parties, hikes, dances, yoga - communicate and generally live a full, rich life, for your own pleasure, and in your life everything will definitely happen as it should. Good luck and harmonious relationships. 😎

Many couples, trying to correct a not very rosy situation in their relationship, turn to psychologists for help. And they often do not even suspect that the reasons for the quarrels, most likely, lie in their own wrong behavior. What is the basis of psychology? good relations with a loved man? Let's try to find out the answer to this question.

The psychology of good relationships: the main principle

They say that in love, one always kisses, and the second turns the cheek. Oddly enough, but the success of your relationship with the chosen one will depend precisely on the observance of this principle. Psychologists have defined this rule more precisely: "give" and "take" - the ratio of these concepts should be uneven, and the roles in this game can change.

If you try to explain in simpler terms, this is the case. A man, "giving" something to a woman, automatically makes her dependent on him, obliged to return. A woman, “giving away” something in return, automatically exaggerates the size of her gift, again upsetting the balance and driving the man into dependence. Relationships continue precisely until there is an equilibrium.

The Psychology of Good Relationships: Communication Rules

So, what exactly needs to be done so that the relationship becomes, if not ideal, then at least good?

  • If your couple does not have real mutual feelings, it is unlikely that you will be together for a long time. Therefore, do not try to build relationships on a bare calculation or because of some other reasons. Fall in love - and it will be much easier to build a strong couple.
  • Both of you should be extremely honest and sincere with each other. No one forces you to turn your soul inside out: it’s enough just not to arouse distrust.
  • Partners must understand that sometimes you need to make compromises. During quarrels, do not try to scandalize and stubbornly defend your point of view. A much longer "lifetime" for couples who are able to calmly talk during disagreements and come to a common decision that suits both.
  • No need to adapt to the hobbies of a loved one. It's great if you have common interests. And it's good when these interests are different - absolutely identical people will always be bored together.
  • Plan the time you spend. Try to be together every minute of the time free from business and responsibilities. And you don’t need to sit in the evenings watching TV - it’s better to go for a walk! Or buy tickets to the cinema, theater, organize romantic dinner- lots of options.
  • Get your own calendar anniversaries and mark each one together. You can even come up with your own "family" traditions. Try to arrange pleasant surprises for your beloved more often and give gifts, even if they are just little things. Believe me, even the most unromantic man will be pleased with such attention. And he will try to return this attention to you a hundredfold.
  • Be sure: constant doubts tend to come true. If you are terrified of the end of a relationship, it will happen. Better be positive.

The three pillars on which good relationships are built are:

  1. Love
  2. Proper behavior during disagreements
  3. Constant reciprocity

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Friendship and good relationships are what many people dream of. Warm connections with other people bring moments of happiness and can help in difficult times. But how often does it happen that we, unfortunately, cannot find mutual language with people, even to communicate normally! And there are also such people, after talking with whom, we are literally shaking with anger, hatred, indignation. What is the psychology of relationships between people? How to build good relationships in a group, in a team, with friends of a husband / wife, and even with your own acquaintances and friends? How to learn to easily make new friends and not lose old ones? Find answers to these and other questions in the text below.

How strange, at first glance, relations between people are formed: one person impresses us very much and becomes a friend for life, the other one doesn’t like it at all, we don’t understand and condemn his actions, and the third one generally seems abnormal, with whom to communicate in principle impossible, and even enmity can form between us.

Why is this happening? What is the basis of the psychology of human relations? It seems that this question involves thousands of answers, because all people are different, which means that as many people as there are so many opportunities to build relationships between them. But it is not so. If you master system-vector thinking, it turns out that building personal relationships with other people is always predictable and fits into a permanent, unchanging system. Knowing this system, you can easily, literally at first glance, understand what to expect from a person, with whom there will be positive communication, and what to do if you meet an absolutely unpleasant person.

The psychology of good relationships

Every person is a bunch of desires. We all constantly want what will bring us joy, pleasure, happiness, big or small. The simplest animals have simple desires - they want to eat, drink, procreate, and that's all. Man is more complicated, we have many desires, not just one or two. And only the whole complex of a person’s desires determines him, that is, gives him some external manifestations: he chooses a job to his liking, is fond of certain activities, and even listens to the radio wave and watches a program on TV only in accordance with his desires. Despite the fact that it seems that people have thousands and even millions of desires - this is not so. There are not so many of them and all of them have already been studied.

To understand the psychology of human relations well, it is enough to study only 8 vectors - all desires add up in them into an exact system.

Friendship and generally good relations develop only between those people who are fully or partially bound by the same desires. We are also drawn to those people whose desires are complementary to ours or greater than our own. But those people who have counter-desires are unpleasant to us and we often simply do not hang out with them. And if you have to meet, for example, work in the same team, study in the same group, ride in the same bus, live in the same apartment, then this leads to tension, hostility. And, as a result, to constant conflicts, resentment, irritation, and therefore stress, psychological stress and psychosomatic illnesses.

For example, there are people for whom it is very important to have a quiet environment and they prefer a silent society - these are people with a sound vector. And there are people opposite them with an oral vector, who constantly speak, often very loudly, on topics that attract the attention of others. Such people are unlikely to be friends and are often in the same company.

The psychology of a good relationship is to understand yourself, your desires. And also to understand others not through oneself, through one's values, but directly - as they are. This means correctly assessing the situation and at a glance to determine what kind of relationship can be formed with this particular person.

Psychology of emotional relationships

The team, relationships with people is a very important aspect of the life of any person. And literally from the cradle, when baby goes in Kindergarten, and until old age, when old women communicate on a bench near the house, not having the strength and opportunity to go further. It is among people that we ourselves are worth something, our life is filled with joy and happiness. Therefore, loneliness is in no way an alternative to a real relationship.

If you can't build a good relationship, don't despair. If friends sometimes disappoint us, we quarrel with acquaintances, do not understand colleagues, etc., this is just a hint - you need to understand the psychology of relationships between people.

Psychology of relations between children and adolescents

Quarrels and strife often arise between adults and children or adolescents due to a simple misunderstanding of each other. And no matter how difficult it is to accept, but very often adults, and not the younger generation, are to blame for such a sad state of affairs. We judge them by ourselves and make mistakes, because in childhood and transitional age the psychology of relationships with peers develops differently.

If you are interested in the topic of the psychology of relationships between children, read these articles:

If you are interested in the topic of adolescent relationship psychology, read these articles:

The psychology of friendship and love relationships

In order to build good relationships, so that friendship brings pleasure, in order to understand the psychology of human relationships, you first need to understand yourself. Yes, yes, in yourself, and not in others. This is especially important if negative characters are constantly encountered on the way: fighters, gossips, nervous people or sadists ... All of them indicate that something is wrong.

Equal always attracts equal. Developed, realized people, as a rule, are surrounded by the same characters. But if we ourselves have some anchors, problems, then we attract the same people. So, skin-visual people in fear prefer to stick together, for example, go to the cinema for horror or walk through the forest at night when it's scary. Such friendship does not bring real pleasure, and we hold on to our comrades, rather from nervous tension. Moreover, such communication is more and more drawn into fears, phobias, often even victim behavior, from which it is very difficult to escape. So, if a person with grievances finds another person with the same grievances, then they can sit at home and be offended until the end of their days, and the grievances will only get worse.

True friendship, good relations with people is the strongest pleasure, and it does not arise because of problems, but quite the opposite. For some, such good relationships develop by themselves. But if they are not there, you should not be upset - you can learn this.

To build relationships with people, you need to start with understanding yourself.

It is very important to change yourself, to understand yourself, to develop, then in life they will seem to be attracted good people. It would also be good to determine at a glance who suits us in terms of worldview, life attitudes.

If you want to learn more about the psychology of relationships between people, read the articles in the library. In addition, you can listen to several free, exciting lectures on psychology that take place online (the full course of lectures is paid). To register, click on this banner:

Be careful - the psychology of virtual relationships

The Internet is an amazing, new space where you can not only find information, but also build relationships. Today there are already a lot of couples who met and spent many hours together virtually. Here we find friends, communicate on forums and social networks, exchange news and jokes. It is on the Internet that we build qualitatively new relationships, forgetting about some features of the psychology of virtual relationships.

There is something in relationships that we do not attach importance to, but that plays a very important role. These are smells. It is by smells that we intuitively navigate people. We say that we liked the person "at first sight", although in fact it happened precisely "from the first sniff". Looking closer, we often notice with our eyes that a person is not so handsome, but at the same time, we like him. And it also happens that a person is visually attracted, but we don’t like it at all. This is due precisely to the subtle, elusive smells that we feel, but are not aware of this.

In most European and not only European countries, the tradition of sleeping spouses in the same bed has developed a very long time ago. Of course, this was often due to a lack of living space. But the main reason for the common bed is the possibility of communication between spouses. After all, communication is not only a conversation, and even not only sex, these are hugs, caresses, gestures, touches, some signs and habits that are understandable only to two.

Spouses who, for some reason, agree to sleep in different bedrooms, lose a lot. They deprive themselves of the very intimacy that makes people feel as one. In addition, often the common bed is the only place, and the night is the only time when the spouses can talk in private. After all, during the day they have work, children, a lot of problems that need to be urgently solved, and dispersing in the evening to different bedrooms of the spouse, they gradually tear those strings that once led them to marriage.

After a divorce, people who have slept together for years, for a long time, acutely feel their loneliness at night. The psychology of bodily contacts has been studied rather poorly. But it is known that after intimacy, it is psychologically important for people to continue contacts, both during the period of falling asleep and in a dream. Embrace have a calming effect on the human psyche, help to fully relax and create good mood the next day.

The pleasure of co-sleeping, or rather the lack of it, is one of the reasons why you should not date married man. - it's a disaster. After all, after meeting with him, the woman again remains alone and goes to bed alone, while knowing that he is now sleeping with his wife. While a free man, even if he is not yet ready for life together, easy to stay overnight. By the way, he is ready to spend the holidays with his girlfriend and he does not need to lie to his wife on the phone that he is now at a meeting, etc. But this is so, by the way.

The unwillingness to sleep together is an accurate indicator that the family will soon fall apart. Even if the spouses continue to sleep in the same bed, but at the same time they try to lie away from each other, interfere with each other and experience irritation, it means that love has died and parting is not far off. Perhaps they will not get divorced, but simply start sleeping in different bedrooms under the pretext that the partner is snoring or they cannot get enough sleep together before work. In any case, what remains of this couple can no longer be called a family.

Therefore, you should always remember that your bed is a temple of love that belongs only to you and you need to take care that it is beautiful, cozy and comfortable not only physically, but also psychologically. This means that it is impossible to talk about business and sort things out in bed in any case! Partners must be firmly convinced that only pleasant things await them in bed, then the marital bed will become the key to a long and strong relationship.