Today we will look for the answer to the question "Why?"

"Why is the child fighting?"

For a detailed analysis of this issue, see the video: "Children's aggression."

Let's go in order.

We have already discussed here. Briefly repeat:

• One-year-old child fights because he appears a large number of prohibitions associated with the fact that the baby began to walk.
• Children fight at the age of 2-3 because they still speak poorly and cannot explain / ask for / defend their rights with words. Also at this age, self-control is not developed, communication skills are also only being formed.
• Children 4-7 years old are less likely to fight, in a conflict situation they often show verbal aggression.

These are age-specific features of the fact that children fight. But there are other reasons as well.

For example, temperament also plays a role in this matter. Melancholic children rarely show physical aggression. But it is much more difficult for choleric children to restrain their emotions, such children are more impulsive, because of this, self-control develops a little longer.

Also in the question "Why is the child fighting?" The family of the child is of great importance.

It often happens that . Above all, this may be due to the fact that the child tests the boundaries at the age of 2-3 years. And mothers and fathers, instead of firmly forbidding the child to fight and showing an alternative way of expressing aggression, only laugh at the child (“small, but what a fighting one”). Or it happens that parents are very soft and cannot put a firm ban.

In general, very often in cases where the parents are "permissive", the child shows aggression. This is due to the fact that he cannot cope with all the responsibility that adults have placed on him, and in fact freedom of action implies independent responsibility for his actions. And very often in such a situation, the child starts to fight, trying to find at least some boundaries in order to feel safe.

Sometimes, it comes to the point that the child constantly acts “on the verge of a foul”: he beats his parents, throws everything that falls into his hands, beats other children very hard. And if parents do not take action in time, then this type of behavior is fixed.

The child is growing, but his social skills are not developing. He does not know how to negotiate, instead the child fights. A preschooler does not know how to control his emotions; in any conflict or difficult situation for him, he reacts by starting to destroy everything and everyone around.

The child does not know how to play, because he cannot agree on the rules of the game, and he does not know how to resolve various minor conflicts in the game, and if he loses, then run away, whoever can. Almost always, such a child becomes an outcast.

An example from my practice: Imagine a fighting, hysterical two-three-year-old. Quite a common picture. Represented? But I knew a boy who behaved in exactly the same way at the age of six or seven years. He fell to the floor if he didn’t like something, or he could start waving his arms and legs if he didn’t want something. He also smashed another kid's head into blood because he lost a board game to him. He beat not only children, but also parents, educators, in general, everyone who came to hand.

Everyone around him considered, to put it mildly, not quite healthy. And the parents of other children said that "the psychiatric hospital is crying for him, he must be isolated from other children." But when I watched him and his parents, I just saw the complete absence of any boundaries and parental authority. And the worst thing: the parents did not want to ask for help, they believed that they were raising a “free personality”.

And just like that, socially not adapted, the child went to school. Then I lost sight of him. To be honest, I’m even scared to imagine how this boy will live on ...

Absence is far from the only answer to the question “Why does a child fight?”

There is such a thing in psychology: negative self-presentation. It means that . Children do not care if they are scolded or praised. And if we talk about the fact that adults scold usually more emotionally, then everything immediately becomes clear. In general, I think that later I will definitely write a detailed article on this topic. Now let's take a look at the current issue.

Why is the child fighting? How does he get attention in this way?

Suppose we have a child of 4-7 years old who is not very good at organizing games, and he is also not very good at participating in them. But he also wants to play with other children, he wants to be a member of a small children's gang. But his other children do not take it into the game, because they are not interested in such a child.

And then such a child does something out of spite: he can run up and destroy the building over which the other children spent half an hour poring over, or take away the ball or toy. And this is where the fun begins for him: all the other children run after him, a fight begins, and then the adults scold him. As a result, the child completely compensates for the lack of attention.

Of course, in this case, the fact that the child is fighting is a consequence of other problems. This behavior usually appears either at 2-3 years old, or when younger brother or sisters.

It happens that children show aggression only towards other children, especially harmless ones. As practice shows, this usually happens with those children in whose upbringing physical punishment is used. And I'm not talking about one-time incidents, but about the system of punishment.

Why is this happening? Because the child is systematically shown that the one who is stronger is right. That if you get angry (after all, parents beat their children almost always being in a very angry state), then you can hit another. And they usually choose weaker children, those who cannot give back. After all, what does this educational system? "Who is stronger is right". And such a kid will fight until the parents reconsider their views on raising a child, learn to control themselves and communicate with their child.

Many parents have repeatedly witnessed situations when their baby hit a person next to him. These people can be peers, older children, and even adults.

It is important to timely and correctly respond to the aggression of the child. It is necessary to encourage him to positive behavior. Then at an older age, the child will have fewer problems.     

Age causes of children's fight:

Children under 1 year old fight because of the numerous prohibitions associated with the beginning of walking.
Children 2-3 years old fight because of poor vocabulary, unformed self-control and communication skills.
Children 4-7 years old show a verbal (verbal) form of aggression. The use of physical force is less pronounced.

Other causes of child fights include:

Lack of communication skills in the child.
Need for adult help.
The child's desire for independence. Parents continue to do everything for him.
Family conflicts.
Individual characteristics baby.
Prohibitions.
Inability to formulate one's thoughts.
Desire to attract attention.
The presence of diseases.
Feelings of jealousy for a brother or sister, mother's new husband.
Mother's irritability.
Frequent punishment by parents.
Overprotective parenting.
Reluctance to go to kindergarten.

Individual causes of child aggression:

The temperament of the child affects the ways in which aggression is manifested:

Melancholic and phlegmatic kids rarely fight.

Choleric children do not know how to restrain their emotions. They are quite impulsive, they develop self-control skills for a long time. They fight much more often than others.

Family causes of child aggression:

1. At the age of 2-3 years, babies test their limits and can even fight with their parents.

2. Parents mocking the baby at the time when he is fighting, as well as the absence of a firm prohibition. Then the child is fixed this type of behavior.

3. Overly strict family education, physical punishment of the baby, aggression from the parents.

4. Support by parents for the aggressive behavior of the baby.

5. Constant viewing by the child of TV shows, cartoons, movies in which the characters are fighting.

Attracting the attention of others:

It is important for children to attract the attention of others: they take away toys, break buildings, fight. As a result, children begin to run after such a baby, adults scold them. The child is in the center of attention.

More often than not, children beat the weak. The most frequent fights are children whose families constantly use physical punishment. The baby is systematically demonstrated superiority of strength. Parents beat when they are angry, which means that he is allowed to hit others in a similar mood. The target is weaker children. The child will fight until adults master the skills of self-control and proper communication with the baby.

Most begin to fight at 2-3 years old. At this stage, it is necessary to defeat aggression. If children fight at an older age, then it is necessary to look for other causes of this problem.

How to help your child break the habit of fighting:

To help the child get rid of negative emotions, to redirect forces in the right direction, physical exercises will help:

boxing;
karate;
physical labor;
all kinds of martial arts.

The first reaction of parents to his fights is very important for the baby. If adults, without understanding, protect the child, this behavior will definitely be fixed in him.
If the parents, without finding out the reason for the fight, scold him in front of everyone, he will fight in secret in the future. If the kid does not harm others, does not beat with sticks, then the best option- do not interfere, but give him the opportunity to bring the matter to the end.

The main thing is to give the child the opportunity to independently understand the negative consequences of the fight.
Returning home, you need to calmly discuss the situation and speak possible options child behavior in conflict situations.

If a child fights in the family:

All family members should agree on a common strategy for dealing with an aggressive baby.

Respond calmly to your child's aggressive behavior. The position of adults must be unchanged.

If a child beat his parents, it is very important to be offended and leave the room. Other relatives should feel sorry for the offended adult.

Ignore the baby for a while, letting him know that his act is wrong and bad.
If the baby fights at home, it is easier to solve the problem than to understand why he behaves aggressively in children's institution. For all parents, their child is the best. It is important to understand that at home he may behave differently than in kindergarten.

If a child fights in kindergarten:

Parents should be calm about complaints about a child if he got into a fight.

Parents need to figure out what really happened.

Ask the teacher to tell in detail about the fight that happened.

Ways to regulate child aggression:

Understanding the feelings of the child, parents will be able to help him find the right solution in any life situation.

Why are the kids fighting? Parents often worry about this. It seems that everything is calm in the family, and education is given due. In this case, the child periodically climbs into a fight. Where was the mistake made? Why are the kids fighting? What are the causes of the fight and how to fix the situation?

Main reasons

Before you start raising a child and teaching that fighting is not good, you need to find out why the baby behaves this way. The main reasons for this behavior can be the following:

1. Lack of attention from parents. The child is trying in every way to attract the attention of dad and mom. If the request "Mom, play with me" does not work, then the child begins to behave aggressively. Sometimes a fight is a way to get attention.
2. Constant humiliation: both from parents and from peers. There are children who can just withdraw into themselves. And there are kids who will release their resentment with the help of their fists.
3. Strength is power. Winning the fight, the child tries to prove his strength in front of other guys. And he does it just to look superior in the eyes of others. Sometimes the choice falls specifically on guys much weaker in order to prove their superiority.
4. Wrong upbringing. Unfortunately, there are families where dad raises his hand to mom (but it happens the other way around), and if a child sees this, he believes that any issue can be resolved with a fight. Or the baby is naughty (tired or just attracts attention), but instead of affection from parents or signs of attention, he gets on the buttocks (palm, belt). This makes the baby angrier. And also makes it clear that the use of force is the way out of any situation.
5. Family aggression. Fights between parents may be completely absent. But constant scandals accumulate anger in the baby, and he splashes it out through a fight.
6. encouragement from childhood. This does not mean that mom or dad patted the child on the head because he got into a fight. But if the kid took the toy from another or, in a fit of anger, hit a nearby child, then you need to act, and not let it go. You need to ask why the baby did this, and without screaming, calmly explain the incorrectness of his behavior.

Other reasons

The main reasons are described above, but it is also worth noting the secondary ones. So why do little kids fight?

1. Wrong conclusion after a fight. For example, the kid did not get into a fight on his own, he was dragged in, and he managed to fight back. In response, his parents praise him and say that they are proud of him. Of course, there is no need to scold the child. It is important that the child can take care of himself. But there is no need to focus on this. The child must understand that it is not worth starting a fight for no reason.
2. Mass media. Children get a lot of information from TV and the Internet. And if dad often watches action films, and the child glances, then at a subconscious level he remembers that a fight will help solve any problem.
3. The child feels uncomfortable in kindergarten or school. He is insulted or humiliated there. With fights, the kid is trying to show that he no longer wants to visit this institution.
4. Bad Company. The child's friends like to be the instigators of the fight, and the child tries to imitate the behavior of his peers.

The above describes why children fight. Knowing the reasons, you can find a way out of any situation. It is better to eradicate such behavior at the beginning of its occurrence and not wait until it is too late.

Fights in kindergarten and school

Why do children fight in the garden or at school? Before you start a conversation with the baby about the fight, you must definitely talk with all the participants in the incident. Each child will express their point of view, and each will have their own truth.

You should not scold your baby, even if he is the instigator and even if he is wrong. The child needs to know that fighting is not the way out; you can find the solution with words. If the kid wanted to prove his truth with a fight, then you should let him know that it is better to prove it with deeds. It will be more convincing.

If, after a fight, the child is immediately punished (since it turned out that he is to blame), then the baby will only hold a grudge. And this will be the reason for the next quarrel and fight. It may also be that the child will simply stop fighting back (he will be afraid of punishment) and anyone who wants to will take out the insult on him.

Causes of fights in kindergarten

Common causes of fights are:

• defending one's interests ("my dad is better", "my phone is cooler" and so on);
• an attempt to take a leading position, to be the main one in the team;
• splash of accumulated aggression;
• just to get attention.

The situation in the family and the fights of a child of two years

Why does a child fight at two years old? The answer to this question is a little more difficult. A kid at this age still cannot fully explain his behavior. Here you should assess the situation in the family and analyze the situation itself, which led to the fight.

Why do children fight among themselves?

The main reason for quarrels and fights is the desire to show their superiority. It is the responsibility of the parent to let the child (at any age) understand that fighting will not solve the problem. The kid should be able to stand up for himself, but you should not be the instigator of a fight. You need to try to find out the cause of the quarrel and find a compromise. The child should know that smart people solve all problems with deeds, and weak people with their fists.

Even knowing why children fight, it is not always possible to find an approach to the child. Sometimes the help of a psychologist is needed. Perhaps the child just needs to throw out the negativity and energy. In this case, it is better to drink sedatives.

Fights with brother, sister, household

Why does a child fight with parents? It often happens that parents just laugh and find it funny when a kid (for example, at the age of one and a half years) beats his mother, grandmother or sister. And later it turns into a serious problem. You need to start fighting with a fight from the very birth.

This is the first reason for fights with relatives. The child feels a sense of permissiveness. Since this amuses the parents, the baby is happy to cheer them up by hitting one of the relatives once again.

The second reason is the desire to attract the attention of relatives. Why does a child fight a year? It is not uncommon for mom and dad to get tired after work. In addition, there are so many household chores, and there is no time for a child. The kid is also tired of being ignored, he needs to express his love and get the same in return from his parents. Sometimes the time (30 minutes daily) allocated to the baby gives an excellent result. You can push back cooking, washing the floor, and so on - these things will not go anywhere, and there will be no problems if they are done in half an hour.

The third reason is that something happened to the child during the day (the drawing didn’t work out, the favorite toy broke, it’s just Bad mood), and he tries to throw out the negative by hitting one of the relatives. Punishment and abuse are unnecessary here. You must first find out the reason for this behavior and help resolve the problem.

Having found out the reason why a child fights with mom, dad, sister, you need to know also right exit out of the situation.

How to behave if the child started to fight?

The first thing that comes to mind for parents is to flog and put in a corner (some fathers and mothers believe that “veal tenderness” only spoils the child), conversations are pushed aside. How to properly respond to a child's fight? Psychologists advise the following:

1. Do not be touched when the baby hit someone close to you. And if the child struck a blow, then you do not need to scold him. It is better to try to make it clear how mom / grandmother hurts. If the child does not understand this, then you can ignore him for a while so that he understands that no one is friends with such children and does not communicate.
2. It is considered a good option to simply hug the baby in response to the blow and not let go of him until he calms down. Only then can you start a conversation and understand the reason for this behavior.
3. If a child fights, because he simply has nowhere to put his energy, then you can give him to the section. Let all energy go in a peaceful direction.
4. Give your child as much attention as possible. You can talk about this behavior in advance and tell you what ways you can solve it. conflict situations.
5. Try not to watch films containing negativity and anger in front of children. Control what games your child likes to play.
6. If the child is overwhelmed with anger for injustice (for example, he received a deuce at school, and he does not agree with this), then allow him to tear the paper, throw out his anger on the pillow, and so on.
7. Support and praise the child if he found a way out of the situation and avoided a fight.
8. Learn to really find a solution in controversial situations without a fight. And control your emotions.
9. Do not allow fights and quarrels in the family. If something has accumulated, the relationship can be clarified while the child is out for a walk, in kindergarten, school.
10. If it turns out that the baby is in a bad company, you need to try to get him out of it. You can explain your point of view to the child, tell why you do not like his friends. Take his free time with circles or other developmental activities.

Conclusion

It turns out that in the fights of children it often happens that the parents themselves are to blame. Just at the right time the child was not given due attention. The main thing when raising a baby is to adhere to the rules of behavior and be prepared for the fact that the baby will not learn the lesson the first time. You should ask grandparents not to spoil the baby.

If a child fights, first you need to find out why the fight happened, have a conversation with the child, and eliminate all provoking factors in the family. And most importantly - pay attention to the child and his upbringing.

Most parents can deal with child aggression. The question of what to do if a child fights is relevant as early as a year. The kid grows, develops and at some point begins to test the boundaries of what is permitted. Do not ignore these first bells: with age, it will be more difficult to correct the situation. Therefore, in the case of pinches, bites, blows, the reaction must necessarily follow.

How to wean a child to fight with parents?

The most effective way is deprivation of attention. Suitable for both toddlers who are only a year old, and older children. Immediately after the impact, it is necessary to tell the baby that the mother is hurt and unpleasant. If he tries to hit again, then immediately remove it from his hands. At the same time, it is important to say that such treatment is unacceptable and no one will communicate with the baby like that. Action must be accompanied by words. Expressions must be chosen in such a way as to convey that bad behavior child, not himself.

Since the goal is to explain, and not to punish and humiliate, it is better to take the frustrated and crying toddler back immediately. But the blow can be repeated, then again put him on the floor. It is not worth bringing to hysterics, but it is necessary to pause before putting him on his knees, while holding the handles. In the case when the child was not in his arms, you should also maintain a distance: stop the game, go to another room, commenting accordingly.

It happens that similar incidents occur with other family members. You can use them to wean the baby from a cruel habit. To do this, relatives begin to feel sorry for the victim, stroke him, say good words and the offender is ignored. Such actions make it clear that this method does not work to attract attention.

If a child fights, can you do the same with him?

Many parents use the “hit back” method. Not all psychologists recommend it, since children repeat the behavior of their elders, and in this way they are given an idea of ​​the permissibility of expressing their dissatisfaction in this way. This option is also unsuccessful because loving households feel sorry for the little ones and are not ready to hurt them. As a result, the baby perceives the exchange of blows or bites as an entertaining game and will gladly repeat it. To prevent this from happening, you must act firmly:

• explain for the first time that he hurts;
• if the behavior has not improved, then after the second time warn not to beat or bite, as it will also hurt him;
• after the third misconduct, punish accordingly (not too much, of course, but so that he feels).

Do not pretend to cry after being hit, as the baby may enjoy this performance. For him, this will be entertainment, and he will strive to see him again.

Reasons for a child to fight

Typically, "boundary testing" begins in the first year and continues up to three years. If an older child fights with relatives or peers, then the reasons lie in the family atmosphere.

• Aggression is often manifested in children in whose families physical impact is in the order of things. In cases where parents constantly scream, and even more so fight among themselves or beat the child, he adopts a similar line of behavior. Every year in such an environment embitters the baby. He cannot yet answer the elders, so he takes out his anger on the weaker ones.
• Constant criticism can also cause fights. It is important not to forget to celebrate the success of the baby.
• Lack of attention. With indifference on the part of parents and insufficient manifestation of love, the baby may start to fight in order to attract attention.
• Excessive severity, excessive number of prohibitions, iron discipline.
• Ignoring the tendency to fight and rewarding in the form of praise when the child gives back.

Fights with peers

What should parents do, whose children prefer to sort things out with the help of fists? It depends on situation.

In cases where aggression is not manifested in the presence of the family, for example in kindergarten, do not rush to reprimand the child. It is important to understand what happened, listen to the version of the baby himself and - preferably - one of the adults who were present at the same time. They will probably tell differently. But if the little one clearly explains why the fight started, then he was probably right. Perhaps he defended himself, his friend, his toys. In such situations, you should not punish and scold, because the child acutely feels injustice. It is possible that he will perceive this as a betrayal by his relatives. After a year or two, it may turn out that the baby is afraid to take action to protect himself and resignedly endures attacks. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to teach them to defend their interests without a fight, to use their fists only in exceptional cases.

However, this applies in the case of a single act of self-defence. It is usually enough to tell the child about possible consequences to prevent such incidents from recurring. But some children themselves constantly start fights, bullying other kids. It is important to find the cause of what is happening. Perhaps he is afraid of other children. Or offended that someone refuses to play with him. In these situations, it is necessary to explain to the baby what his behavior can lead to: hardly anyone wants to be friends with fighters.

In the presence of parents

Fights can also occur in front of parents, often they happen on the playground. There is no need to either scold or defend the child without finding out what exactly happened. In the first case, the baby will continue to fight, waiting until the parents turn away, in the second, there is a risk of causing a feeling of permissiveness. If the child is wrong, you should convince him to apologize. If he refuses, take him home.

In families with more than one child, fights are not uncommon. Especially when the age difference is not very big. It is not worth taking the side of any of them, so as not to provoke jealousy. It is important for both to show their love. It is better to just spread them in different rooms or corners. Having found out the relationship, the children will soon play together again.

How to prevent fights?

In order to prevent children's aggressiveness from developing, it is important to engage in its prevention. The most important thing is to work on the atmosphere in the family. If a child feels secure and confident in parental love, he develops more successfully. He does not often experience anger and envy, is less selfish. Parents should focus on shaping the desired behavior rather than correcting the undesirable. To do this, they demonstrate concern for loved ones, sympathy, forgiveness.

The requirements that are presented to children must be feasible and understandable, and they must be insisted on. Consistency is also of great importance. It is impossible for the same act to be punished first and then praised, it is confusing and causes aggression. Excessive use of threats and force is unacceptable. Abuse forms a similar style of behavior. Children need to be aware of the consequences of their actions and the reactions of others. In order to develop a sense of responsibility, it is necessary to give the baby the opportunity to discuss various situations with parents and explain the reasons.

Give vent to emotions?

Young children, who are only a year old or a little older, often do not understand their feelings themselves. Parents help them deal with this by naming emotions: for example, anger because they were not allowed to watch cartoons, or disappointment if a toy broke. Toddlers do not yet realize that they are hurting during a fight, this must be conveyed in their language.

Every child gets angry sometimes. Pulling him from year to year with the phrases “don’t shout”, “don’t get angry” and the like, you can hang a sense of guilt for completely understandable emotions. It is necessary to teach the child not to suppress these sensations, but to give them a non-aggressive outlet.

• Replace the action with a word. Feelings can and should be talked about. For this, the so-called "I-messages" are used: "I'm angry because ...", "I'm upset because ...".
• Find safe ways expressions of anger: tearing paper, throwing small balls, getting a special pillow that can be hit and bitten.
• Redirect anger. A child can throw out emotions by playing sports. Different types wrestling, games in which there are blows and kicks (football, volleyball, tennis) will help relieve stress.
• To play together. Give you a chance to relax role-playing games. It is important to change roles in them so that the baby is both the aggressor and the victim. Using toys, you can play scenes with different ways conflict resolution.
• Watch positive programs, read fairy tales in which good triumphs over evil. Every year there are many programs that show violence, they are best avoided.

Each child is unique and requires a careful approach to education. If the baby is fighting, then only patience and love will help to cope with the situation, find reasons and direct energy in a different direction.

Crawling children successfully demonstrate their dissatisfaction with facial expressions and screams, and starting from 1 year old, children can pinch, bite and beat. This uncomfortable situation, when children are still tiny and start to fight with mom or dad, is a natural stage of development. emotional sphere baby. Anger is inherent in all people, it is not worth trying to eradicate the basic emotion after its first manifestations. When confronted with childish aggression, parents need to help their child channel their anger in a peaceful way by expressing it in a socially acceptable way.

Children's aggression

The manifestation of aggression in infants is a consequence of the nervousness of the mother. Newborns are closely connected with their mothers, feel her tired and irritated state, and may also behave nervously. One-year-old children, who know the limits of what is permitted, show aggression in the form of violent protests at different periods of their development. They fight with adults in anger, bite them or grab them by the hair.

Children at the age of two and three years are characterized by special aggressiveness. Situational emotional episodes extend not only to parents. The child may fight with the grandmother and other relatives, as well as with peers. Rage is most often shown by choleric children, they are more impulsive, therefore they cannot hold back emotions. But little melancholic protests practically do not reveal fights.

Why do kids start beating their parents?

There are a lot of roots of children's aggressiveness. It is also associated with age, temperament, upbringing and other factors. Outbursts of anger in children are due to the coincidence of certain factors in different ages. Therefore, psychologists identify age-related causes of children's aggression towards older and surrounding people:

0.5 to 1 year

In six-month-old babies, the first signs of childish aggression appear. Infants who cannot speak usually try to attract attention by crying and screaming. But if the situation is not resolved due to the fact that the mother does not understand what is bothering the baby, the newborn begins to get angry, clenching his fists and biting.

one year old children

Before a child who has learned to walk and run, a world of prohibitions opens up that prevents free movement around the house. Children defend their rights by shouting, they also begin to beat their mother, throw toys and pinch.

2-3 years

At the age of 2, children still have poorly developed speech and self-control, and communication skills at this age are only being formed, so children do not know how to ask and explain with words. On the emotions of their offenders, they beat. At 3 years old, kids fight with their parents more often because of the desire to be independent. Because a three-year-old child wants to do everything himself, imitating the elders. He tries to close and open the bottle, diligently tries to take off his shoes on his own, gets angry if something does not work out and starts to beat those who helped him or did something instead of him.

4 -7 years old

Children from 4 years old fight less, but they already know how to speak, so a verbal response to any offense and prohibition is used. Children who can speak negative feelings express in words, and fight more often with peers than with parents. A child who beats his mother in protest, who is already 4 or 5 years old, speaks wonderfully and already knows how to control his emotions. Therefore, aggression is shown by methods of struggle quite consciously.

The aggressive state of children at the age of 6 has a social origin and is associated with a crisis caused by the beginning of schooling. Until the age of 7 and the passage of this crisis, children react sharply to the reproaches and censures of parents, as well as teachers. They get upset, believing that everyone wants to hurt them, not help them.

8-10 years old

In children of 8 years of age, aggressiveness is on the decline, and verbal aggression develops more. Children also learn to resolve conflicts in other ways, and thanks to the right reaction of adults and parenting, outbursts of anger can be minimized.

The family plays an important role in the emergence of aggressiveness in young children. Children fight because of the lack of rules of conduct and boundaries of what is permitted, or to attract attention to themselves.

The main causes of anger in children

Severe upbringing associated with humiliation and physical punishment.

1. Aggressiveness and irritability of parents.
2. Ignoring by parents the aggressive behavior of the child.
3. Excessive criticism of parents.
4. Indifference of mother and father to the baby.
5. Aggressive behavior peers.
6. Watching cartoons, films and programs that demonstrate aggressive behavior.
7. Children after 10 years old fight, trying to protect themselves, facing difficulties in communication and undeserved accusations.

How to overcome child aggression?

There are many ways to deal with child aggression. But in order to wean a child to fight with his father or mother, you need to take the right measures, depending on the age of the children and the causes of anger.

1. Babies most often beat their mother. She spends more time with them than others and is the closest person. Newborns do not control their emotions and do not understand if the other person is hurting. In a fit of emotion, babies cling to their mother's hair and often hurt it. Also, babies hit adults in the face because of interest in what is happening, and parents chuckle in response. It is impossible to laugh even from weak blows that do not bring pain. Children laughter in such a situation is perceived as an encouragement of their behavior. The crumbs will happily repeat their fun in the future already consciously. No matter how funny pranks look, parents should demonstrate the right emotions that appear after real blows. You need to be offended, upset, show the baby with all appearance that it hurts them and say it out loud.
2. Children need to be calmly explained what not to do and why, as well as offer alternative behaviors. Do not beat, but hug, do not pull the hair, but rather iron it.
3. It is forbidden to give back to a peanut who raises his hand to his mother as a protest. Parents should think about their system of prohibitions, perhaps it needs to be changed. It is not worth it to forbid a child a lot, each prohibition must be justified and unshakable. It is necessary to remove from access all the things that the baby cannot use in order to say “no” to him less. You need to come up with distractions for the child if he constantly tries to force what is forbidden or to do what is not allowed.
4. Parents of children who hit them consistently can predict the child's reaction to certain situations. Thanks to this, you should intercept the raised hand of the baby, not allowing yourself to be hit. At the same time, they strictly tell him that it is impossible to beat him, explain why, find out the reasons for the protest and resolve the conflict by taking diversionary maneuvers.
5. If a mother has received a blow, then she can show how much it hurts her without imitating tears. Young children at the sight of tears may be frightened or perceive them as part of the game. If children enjoy the performance with tears, they will continue to fight with adults for fun. If at this moment the fathers are at home, then in such a situation they should pay attention not to the child, but first of all to the mother, taking pity on her. Children imitate their elders, so empathic toddlers will also begin to feel sorry for their parents, they will stop hitting and begin to soothe.

Step-by-step instructions: how to wean a child to fight?

1. After the blow, you should say that you feel pain and do not want to be beaten.
2. With repeated blows, intercept the hand.
3. After a perfect blow, release the child in your arms with the words that it hurts you.
4. Usually children start crying after that. It is worth taking the crumbs in your arms and calming down. This is how mothers show their love and care and the need to feel sorry for those who are upset. Parents who do not raise a crying baby, but continue to reproach him, humiliate the baby, which is reflected as a kind of punishment. This is something that cannot be done, because the child needs to be shown an example of good behavior.
5. If the child hit again, he is lowered back from his hands. It is important for parents to correctly explain to the child that he is not punished and not bad, that he does not behave correctly and why it is impossible to beat.
6. crying child not worth taking right away. It should be slightly lifted and, holding hands, explain why it was let down. There is no need to bring crumbs to hysterics.
7. If the child began to beat during the game, you should stop playing, show resentment, explaining your actions in words.
8. After being hit due to the termination of the game, it is worth leaving the room. A child who runs after him should explain his behavior, and emphasize that there will be no games if he fights.
9. If a child fights with parents in the presence of other relatives, they should be on the side of mom and dad. It is better not to interfere in the situation or start to calm the offended parents, ignoring the child. The kid must understand that he does not attract attention with his fists.

The actions by which wean children to fight require consistency and stability in execution. In any situation and time of day, at home or away, the child should be made to understand that nothing can be solved by force and it is impossible to fight.

If the child has anger, you can not suppress it, the baby must throw out the anger. To do this, the child can be given unnecessary newspapers to tear them up or a pillow that he will beat. You can use plasticine and mold anger together with the child, and then remake it into good emotion. All actions should be spoken out loud. Children also need to be given more physical activity and not overload their psyche.

Parenting Mistakes That Fight Parents

Many mothers face fighter kids and in such situations they often do wrong, and the children grow up and do not stop beating them.

Wrong methods of dealing with children beating parents:

• Fight back, hit and bite back.
• Pretend to cry.
• Screaming and scolding the child angrily.
• Reproach the baby, talking about shame and that he is bad.
• Intimidate children.
• Apply physical punishment.

You can talk about shame to older children, up to 5-6 years old children do not understand the meaning of this word and therefore it is not effective in educational purposes. So that the child does not fight, it is unnecessary for him to demonstrate it. You should not scold and beat the cat in front of him, punishing her for her adventures on the kitchen table. Parents should be more patient and not show anger in front of their children.