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What is more important: to love or to be loved? “All love is a great happiness, even if it is not shared,” this well-known Bunin phrase reflects the understanding of love as happiness in a person’s life. And it’s not entirely important whether you love or are loved by someone ... Ivan Alekseevich Bunin sees the eternal mystery of love and the eternal drama of lovers and unrequited love in the fact that a person is unwilling in his love passion: love is a spontaneous, inevitable, passionate and often tragic feeling, because happiness turns out to be unattainable ...

Such is Bunin's story "Easy breathing". Its composition is such that from the first lines we learn about the tragically cut short life of the schoolgirl Olya Meshcherskaya, we see her portrait “with amazingly lively eyes”, embedded in the “oak cross”. The writer uses a ring composition, starting and ending the narrative with a description of this cross. Olenka was killed out of jealousy - an everyday drama. “Easy breathing” is very fragile, it disappears, it is simply interrupted, as the “deceived Olya” Cossack officer did. But Olya was extraordinary: grace, elegance, dexterity, sparkle in her eyes ”- this distinguished her from other gymnasium students.

To reflect the theme of love, Bunin uses a special compositional technique - antithesis, opposition. Olya's "light breath" is contrasted with the ordinary vulgar world, the "strong, heavy cross" on her grave; the handsome aristocrat Malyutin who seduced Olya - a plebeian, a Cossack officer, an unsightly and unpleasant person; Olenka's stormy life and early "female experience" - a fictional life of a "middle-aged girl" classy lady. “Easy breathing” is also impudence, lightness, naivety in love and even Olenka’s death. Despite her "experience of a woman", Olya is pure and natural, she retained her "light breath", which "scattered in the world, in the cold autumn wind."

A master in depicting the world of human feelings, including love, was Alexander Ivanovich Kuprin, the author of the story "Garnet Bracelet". I recall the words of Kazansky, the hero of the story "Duel", that "love is a talent akin to a musical one." Yes, and in the story reflected in the story “Garnet Bracelet”, there is a real fact - the love story of a modest official for a secular lady, mother L. Lyubimova.

One of the key fragments in the story is the name day of Princess Vera, where everyone gathers characters story. The gift of a stranger who wrote to the princess for a long time has a symbolic meaning. The pomegranate bracelet itself is low-grade, but the thick red grenades light up with living fires, like blood (this is an alarming omen, according to Princess Vera). Zheltkov gives the most valuable thing he has - a family jewel, his mother's bracelet. This is a symbol of his hopeless, selfless love, which none of the heroes of the story, even General Anosov, met in his life. It is he who, in a conversation with Vera, asks the question: “Where is love, then? .. disinterested, not waiting for a reward? The one about which it is said - "strong as death." Love must be a tragedy, the greatest mystery in the world!”

Here is such a “greatest secret in the world” that was presented by the telegraphist Zheltkov to Princess Vera, it was she who turned out to be stronger than death, because by his passing from life Zheltkov proved its truth, just the kind of love that happens “one in a thousand years” ...

Reflecting on the values ​​of love, each of us must decide for himself what is more important for him: to love or to be loved. It is much more important to remember the wise advice expressed not only by Bunin, Kuprin and other writers and poets, and once, like A.S. Pushkin, to say:

And the heart burns again and loves - because

That it cannot not love ...

Bugaevskaya Diana, 11th grade

Teacher Maslennikova Galina Vladimirovna

What is more important: to love or to be loved? This question was asked by a man to himself, and not
many (1) were able to answer this question (2). What is love for us? (3)
Love for us (4) is to love someone or something. That is, (5) for example (5) you love
I mean either a certain person or in love (6) in a certain place (7). We
we all understand this well. But what does it mean to be loved? Maybe (8) love
someone (9) or something else (10). As we noticed (11) to love or be loved
(12) it is their own reflection. But there is also such a case (13) as unanswered
love. By this we do not mean (14) mutual feelings for each other among
dey. We see that love is either mutual or everything (15) leads to unrequited love. To
to understand (16) better, let us turn to the works.

In the work of Rasputin "Farewell to Matyora" we see (17) how people do not
willingly want to leave (18) the island of Matera. They will have to leave, because soon everyone
the houses on this island will be flooded (19) with water. People still live on Mtyora for the time being (20).
They have everything (21) here: beloved nature; all the events that have happened since (21) here.
They love this island, but they have to leave it. From (21) here (22) we saw
love for something, and more specifically (23) for the place of residence (24).

In Gorky's next work, The Old Woman Izergil, we will talk about how
like a hawk-man (25) wanted to be loved. When the old woman talked about him,
the hawk-man appeared to the people, they did not understand who it was in front of them. When th-
the hunter-hawk looked at them, then he saw among them the most beautiful girl, and immediately
wanted to marry her, but she refused. Everyone was amazed by his reaction, he pulled out of
her chest heart. Everyone (26) was furious, asking (27) why he did this.
In his defense, he said that he wanted her to love him. C (21) here we are
saw that a person can want to be loved (28).

Or Bunin's work "Light Breath", when a girl (29) from a gymnasium,
(30) behaves like a stately (31) woman: expensive shoes, adult-style
us hair. She was loved by the brother of the teacher from her gymnasium. C(21) like this
(32) one can see that main character was loved (33). But now consider (34)
when a person, the main character, loves someone. And this is in the work of Kuprin “Gra-
nat bracelet. Main character I loved married woman she knew about it.
I loved unrequitedly until the last call, which the heroine's husband allowed to make.
When he called her, she was in shock (35). After the call, the hero realized that he
wants her to live. He (36) decided, since she does not love him, to disappear forever from her
life. We (37) saw (38) what we are ready for for our loved ones. We (39) did everything
to make them happy.

To love or be loved? We choose ourselves, our feelings, emotions in pain
She(40)nstve do it for us. And that (41) that we have chosen (41) is the most important for us.
For someone (42) it may be (42) the most important thing is to be loved, but for someone it is
mouth. In the question of love, few will tell you the correct answer. Ask a few
people: "What is love?" All of them will answer (43) differently. Don't think (44) that
others have told you. What matters is (45) what you think.

Commentary on the essay

The proposed topic is not open.

There are general arguments in the work, corresponding to the topic,
but there is no depth of consideration of examples on literary material; appeal to
literary works is given at a primitive level. Judgments
are superficial. Literary material is involved formally: perceptibly
the inability of the student to delve into the work and comprehend it. The student does not feel
there is no author's position, replacing it with his own understanding at the everyday level,
offers a simplified interpretation of images.

There is a repeated violation of paragraph articulation of the text in the essay.
work and logical errors.

Work inherent low level speech culture: and essays are allowed
other types of speech errors: unsuccessful word usage, violation of combined
words, misuse of synonyms, pleonasm, poverty of vocabulary, speech
stamps.

The essay is replete with spelling, punctuation, grammatical
mistakes.

No. 1 - spelling mistake;

No. 2 - speech error (word repetition);

No. 3 - speech error: unjustified inversion;

No. 4 - punctuation error (dash omission);

No. 5 - punctuation error (missing commas in the introductory word);

No. 6 - spelling mistake;

No. 7 - grammatical error: cannot be used as homogeneous varieties
new concepts: person and place;

No. 8 - punctuation error (missing commas in the introductory word);

No. 9 - grammatical error;

No. 10 - grammatical and logical;

No. 11 - punctuation error (missing commas in the introductory sentence
research institutes);

No. 12 - speech error: the meaning of the statement is not clear;

No. 13 - logical error: the statement is not related to the previous sentence
as it assumes that the previous text dealt with
other cases, but they were not considered;

No. 14 - spelling mistake;

No. 15 - speech: incompleteness of the statement. What exactly is "everything" leading?

No. 16 - speech: it is not entirely clear from the sentence: “understand better” what?

No. 17 - punctuation error;

No. 18 - grammatical: incorrect use of a preposition;

No. 19 - grammatical error: wrong choice of word form;

No. 20 - spelling mistake;

No. 21 - spelling mistake;

No. 22 - speech error: repetition of words;

No. 23 - punctuation error;

No. 24 - grammatical error: wrong choice of word form;

No. 25 - factual error;

No. 26 - speech error: repetition of words;

No. 27 - punctuation error;

No. 28 - grammatical and logical error;

No. 29 - speech error: it would be appropriate to use a synonym without evaluative
vocabulary;

No. 30 - punctuation error;

No. 31 - speech error: misunderstanding of the word "stately" leads to its incorrect
nomu use;

No. 32 - spelling mistake;

No. 33 - logical error: inappropriate repetition of the thought of the previous pre-
positions;

No. 34 - punctuation error;

No. 35 - a speech error, it is better to replace the speech turnover with a more bookish word,
for example, "surprised";

No. 36 - unjustified repetition of a pronoun;

No. 37 - punctuation error;

No. 38 - speech error: unexpected replacement of faces. The text of the essay was
about the hero of the story, which is unexpectedly replaced by the pronoun "we";
No. 39 - punctuation error;

No. 40 - spelling mistake;

No. 41 - punctuation error;

No. 42 - punctuation error;

No. 43 - spelling mistake;

No. 44 - punctuation error;

No. 45 - punctuation error

What is better to love or be loved? reasoningon this topic have been in the head of every girl more than once. How would you respond to question you?

Slavic women a wish get married from birth. They are sure that happiness can only be found in marriage . Coming to the peak age of 30, they get married in a hurry. Argument becomes age or child .

The girl no longer thinks about feelings, the main thing is that husband will love. After 1-2 years unloved starts to get annoying. His excessive care and love strangle a woman . Good from the side family: loving man , wife children. But partly in this situation suffering every member of the family.

Why do women live in hopeless marriage?

Mom said

Mothers assure their daughters that living in a marriage where only they are loved is comfortable. After all, the husband will be accommodating, will give flowers, money− into the family, change will not. Mothers are sure that daughters need just such half . She will be able to manipulate a man, influence his decisions and arrange for herself better life − just a commander in a skirt! Girls not only hear the mother's words, but also see her behavior with her father. Developing with a consumer attitude in your head, you will not meet true love.

fall in love

In rare cases, a person manages to fall in love. fall in love over the years of marriage - rather an exception. Over time, the disgust intensifies. The wife falls in love with another man, cheats. Children see betrayal and are suffering. Husband saves marriage, because he is afraid of losing his family. Psychology people is based on an imaginary happiness . Everyone lives together, but they hurt each other.

In this case better divorce. Both have time to find harmonious relations. Children will be happy to see satisfied parents. Divorce worries will pass. It will be followed by understanding and awareness of the situation.

Scientists prove that everyone needs love. Human suffering if he has no one to take care of and share his love. He also dies when he is loved unrequitedly. Marriage pity does not bring joy.

Pros and cons of one-sided love

Eternal dilemma , which does not give rest to women:love or be loved? let's let's figure it out!

Pros and cons one sided love

• Ladies love to be taken care of. Even if the person is not interested woman, then his sympathy amuses self-esteem. It's nice to have an admirer.

• The girl can let take care of yourself for profit. In pursuit of a fat wallet or prospects, she forgets about feelings and passions . A good option for implementation, but will it fall in love?

• Young ladies receive male love, which they lacked in childhood. Such partners are called wealthy "daddies", who are twice as old as the chosen ones. Relations initially hybrid, since there will be no intimate balance and equality in the family.
• Girls get into relationships with pushy guys out of mild sympathy or guilt over their time. In the first variant, sympathy does not always develop into love. In the second option, the relationship is initially unhealthy. They include insecure girls who sacrifice themselves or are afraid of loneliness.
• Girls choose marriage without love in the desire to leave parental home. AT case with alcoholic parents a good option, but will it be better with an unloved husband?
• Woman marries due to an unplanned pregnancy. If a positive the test was the last impetus for marriage - it's worth getting married! If it's an "accident"− the union will not make the child and parents happy.

Even positive options are questionable, as they may not last long. There is one that will outshine the unloved boyfriend. Can get wealth, fame, but forever remain unhappy. Such women in the future wander from one lover to another.

Famous people about love:

• Chekhov was convinced that mutual love is the key to happiness. In life, it's the other way around. They love you, or you.
• Charles Dickens considered love to be a pleasant flaw in humanity.
• Henry Thoreau exalted love as the strongest support for man.
• Karl Marx was sure that to love and not be loved is a misfortune.

love statistics

What is more important for a person: to love or to be loved? As a result of the study, people different ages responded to questions about marriage motives.

• 50% of men and women join marriage out of love for your loved one.In 80%, such couples can boast of satisfaction with marriage .

• Because of similar interests, 30% of men and women get married. Such marriage cannot be called indifferent, but passions it doesn't have it. It is built on friendship, support, but not love. Studies have shown that almost 75% cases such couples are happy in union.

• Only 5% of the participants answered that they got married for their own benefit. As a result of this marriage only 20% of men and women achieve happiness!

On the Internet you can find 1000 cases when women got married for convenience and were unhappy. Others fell in love with their husbands after several years of marriage. Researchers say unequivocally, to create marriage needs sympathy, mutual respect, common interests and intimate compatibility.

Early Marriages often end in divorce. Love is not enough for strong relationship especially one-sided. Many couples are disappointed that love has passed in everyday life. Feelings need to be experienced first. gradual checking living together. If you are not ready to give in, love will not save the union.

How to develop mutual love

• Learn to love. Love is art . Not everyone owns woman but it can be trained. When you have sympathy for a person, develop a relationship. Time will show the outcome. Show your feelings, learn to love. Give up selfishness and selfishness. Realize that you need to love not for something, but in spite of. People miss love in search of non-existent ideals. They are the ones who ask later. question : love or be loved! Stop measuring everyone to your standard. Listen to your feelings!

• give love. Women complain about men. They say they don't know how to love. Ladies, in turn, are also in no hurry to give affection. See how many wives talk to their husbands! Such people do not want to give flowers and invite them to the cinema.

Show love in gaze, smile, words. Satisfy your partner wanted and to satisfy you. Meet him from work as the most important person. Appreciate his rest, work, personal space.

consumer attitude : you give me flowers, but I don’t suit you. Follow appearance, take care of your femininity, do not skimp on feelings and affection. Let's do more. The male will thank you.

• Appreciate feelings. Don't associate love and profit. Dating a wealthy man feelings - stupid. You are destined to become rich, and such people also cry− you know! Of course, loving a criminal or a loser is also a kind of neurosis.

Spend your time in a decent society, then you will be less likely to meet an unworthy partner. When feelings have arisen appreciate them. Even if the guy does not yet know about your love. He may like you too. Develop relationships. Try get to know each other more before joining marriage .

Eva Usoltseva fully revealed the topic: "what is more important for a person to love or be loved" and offers to get acquainted with it and also use the recommendations in your relationship.

I asked the wise man: “Which is more important: to love or to be loved? "The sage answered:" And what is more important for a bird - the left wing or the right? »

What do you think?

Every person, regardless of gender and social origin, is born to be happy, to love and be loved. However, unfortunately, it is not always possible to love and be loved at the same time, this is how our life works. “We choose, we are chosen, how often it does not coincide”, remember the words of the famous song?

They are based on the sad truth of life: very often either we love or love us, and often there is no third way. Involuntarily, the question arises - what is still better: to love, or to be loved and allow a person to love himself? What are the pros and cons of both one and the other relationship?

If you love and you are not, then in a certain sense it is a tragedy. You, knowing the real situation, do not count on reciprocity, since you cannot force a person to fall in love - after all, you cannot command the heart.

You live with the feeling that the person you love can fall in love with someone at any time and you will lose him forever. You want to see him as often as possible, take care of him, please him, but he is far from always able to appreciate the noble impulses of your loving heart.

And you know that it cannot go on for so long, but you can’t help yourself - after all, love is evil. However, this state of affairs has its advantages. One of the main advantages of such a relationship is that your heart is filled with love, and love, as you know, ennobles a person, makes him better. A person cannot live without love, and in this case it does not matter whether this feeling is mutual or not.

A person who loves, especially if it is a woman, begins to look at life and everything around her differently, and let you know that your man does not reciprocate, but you feel that your life is filled with meaning and rich inner content.

Real love is impossible without jealousy, without suffering and worries, and if your love is not mutual, and you continue to love, this speaks of the richness and breadth of your soul - after all, you do not require anything in return.

If the relationship develops in such a way that the person with whom fate brought you loves you, and you only allow him to love, having practically no feelings towards him, then the situation is completely different. A wide field opens up for you to manipulate this person, and many women use this perfectly - they gratefully accept expensive gifts and do not feel any remorse from the fact that they simply use a person who has kindled a feeling of love for them.

Although you can argue about LOVE or BE LOVED forever!

Let everyone find their female happiness. Love and be loved!! !

The answer to the rhetorical question: what is better - to love or to be loved?

There is a strong opinion that there is always someone in a couple one loves more, and the second just allows himself to be loved.

The statement is controversial, and if we analyze it in detail, it turns out that such a distribution of feelings is quite beneficial for each of the partners.

Indeed, there are people who difficult to equalize: they do not know how to receive and give equally, their resource can only work in one direction.

For example, these people revel in their love for the object of adoration, and reciprocity is not the most valuable criterion for them. So which is better: to love or to be loved? Let's get the opinion of the experts.

How to let go of the person you love? The advice of psychologists will help you!

Healthy relationships are defined very simply- I love, loves me, I want to make my partner happy, he wants to make me happy.

Quite understandable and reasonable equality, which, however, is not always found.

At least every second person experiencing various neurotic spectrum problems. And the higher the level of development of society, the more these problems.

There are many people who do not know how to be in healthy relationships. They have not seen examples of such understanding and acceptance, or they once received an important emphasis on something else, and now they are looking for the same emotions all their lives.

For them, the inequality of love is a value in itself. Their position “I love, but I don’t” turns into a goal, an obsession, a meaning. The conquest of your partner, the constant search for new forms of demonstrating your love become the meaning.

Many people, to put it simply, love themselves in this suffering, search, conquest. They like to be around someone who does not completely become their person. This keeps them in some tension, gives their own life some kind of spice.

This keeps the lover in a constant tone, which for many people is necessary to maintain the "fire of life." In a word, one-sided love for a person is not forced suffering, a given, but a completely conscious choice.

Love or let yourself be loved? Which strategy is correct? Psychologist's opinion:

How to distinguish love from falling in love? Find out the answer right now.

Is it always in a relationship that one loves, and the other allows you to love yourself?

There is a valuable note here: great amount people aspire not to love, but to an ideal marital relationship.

It would seem that this is one and the same thing - but no, there is sometimes a whole abyss between these two concepts.

Judge for yourself: ideal relationship in the family for many include a clear distribution of responsibilities, and following certain orders, and the absence of quarrels, and, figuratively speaking, the smoothness of family life. What does this have to do with love?

Love is living and changing substance. The period of enthusiasm and knowledge of each other is replaced by grinding, the value of new qualities in each other, recognition of partners in new social roles.

First you are a man and a woman who are just dating. Then you live together, life interferes with the relationship. Then you are husband and wife, you find each other in new roles. Then you are the parents, and so on.

The process of recognition and acceptance cannot be smooth. A living organism changes, grows, passes some obstacles. loving people may quarrel, but healthy love is the desire to protect the other from suffering.

Frequent quarrels are a love for quarrels and dependence on them, and not an indicator of the high passions of passionately in love people.

You sit down and revisit the memories. Only 5 meetings, the first of which was meaningless, accidental, but it was the nominal one that changed everything in your life. OH appeared. Do you believe that you can fall in love with a person, just seeing him once, and then communicating exclusively on the Internet? Communicating for hours, discussing everything in the world for days on end, telling each other all their ins and outs, but at the same time, not even knowing the typical gestures and facial expressions of a person, not clearly imagining his appearance. Do you believe? Here I am, not believing, fell in love. This is the third year of this strange communication. No, it's not like that - it's the third year since we met. After all, I, as a prudent person, deigned to decide for myself that such a one-sided love will not bring me anything good (And how did I guess that ??), because I don’t even have a chance to see this person all the time. And not for the first time (Oh, believe me, far from the first) I decided to end it. To break off relationships so dear to me for my own good (Yes, yes). It doesn't matter to him whether to communicate or not, but to me ... The fact is that each new day of communication for me was a new stage of attachment to this person. And how far can it go? I decided not to check. After all, the higher you climb, the harder you fall. Six months ago, I decided to stop and fall into the abyss. Did it get better and easier from the thought that if it happened later, it would hurt more? Definitely not. Has it become easier to control your thoughts and emotions (in relation to him) without mediocre communication? Also no. Is it more likely to forget him? No. Is everything that bad? Yes. Someone suddenly sits down next to me, interrupting my thoughts. I turn my head and see behind my desk ... Him. No, it's not the one I was just thinking about. This is not the one I would like to see. On the contrary, I try to avoid this person. "Do you mind if I stay here for the next couple's hour?" – the question puzzled me. Because, yes, I do! I so want to refuse him, once again explain that he is not the one who can win my heart, because it is already taken. But he knows all this very well, and the school does not the best place for these conversations. - Yes, of course, sit if you want. - I'm lying again. And why? In order not to mess things up again ... I didn’t want to start a conversation, so I decided to try again to immerse myself in the subject on which I had been sitting, stupidly rewriting definitions from the presentation for about 15 minutes on the machine. “The elasticity of demand shows what percentage change in demand will follow a one percent change…” An unfamiliar smell sharply hit my nose, which distracted me this time. There was a slight scent of men's cologne. Previously, I had never sat so close to this person for so long, so, probably, the fragrance seemed to me new, unknown and sharply cutting scent. Brr - I tried to throw it out unnecessary thoughts out of my head, like... A hand touched my loose hair. It's not hard to guess which one it is. To say that I am annoyed when I am touched (especially my hair) is an understatement. I tried to control myself, so as not to be rude and not sent to hell. Honestly, I tried! My hair is disturbed again. - No need. Quietly, gritting my teeth, I said. - What is not necessary? - The interlocutor tested my patience. - Not. Necessary. Touch. My. Hair. – Clearly separating the words I said, trying not to be nervous. It doesn't seem to work. For about 30 seconds, the interlocutor did not show signs of life, and I again began to write down material on the topic of the lesson. I was gently poked into the sleeve of the sweater, more like a tangential swipe. I started. First, it was unexpected. And secondly, I already spoke. But that's not the point. It just wasn't the right hand. I so wanted my beloved person to sit next to me and perform the same actions. Perhaps I could be called the happiest in the world! But wishes are not destined to come true. The unloved hand repeated this movement once more. I clenched my teeth to keep from snapping. And my "opponent", it seems, decided to make fun of: - You can touch the jacket? I kept silent, trying to concentrate on the lesson so as not to throw out all the emotions on him. - You said that you can not touch the hair, but everything else means you can, right? - At this phrase, I imagined how unloved hands touch my face, and I grimaced. - Why? - repeated the stubborn interlocutor. - Yes. – I snarled, making an attempt to re-focus on the topic of the lesson. But I wouldn't be me if I could. Literally a few centimeters away from me sat a man who was nobody to me. Or rather, he is a problematic person for me, because I do not know how to behave with those who like me, and not vice versa. It is unusual to even somehow feel in the place of your “victim”. He turns sharply and literally exhales into my hair - Sasha ... I shudder, afraid to turn around and be too close to his face. Such a romantic moment! When they say your name on the exhale ... This is incredibly cool! And only after a few seconds you realize that it was your unloved voice, and all your sense of beauty disappears. I slowly pull away, turning my head at the same time. And I see the wrong eyes. Yes, there is something in them when this person looks at me, but there is nothing in mine when I look at him. - Do we need to write functions? - The interlocutor asks me in a calm voice. - Yes. Nodding, I answer, not even thinking about his question. I feel the breath of a stranger to me, I hear his voice, imagining another in his place. My brain is drugged by its scent, making it difficult to focus on a single thought. The guy begins to diligently scribble something in his notebook. And I, looking into it, I understand - the handwriting is not the same. Everything is not right. All wrong. Tears well up in my eyes, and I turn away so as not to burst into tears. An image of someone I'm so worried about appears in my head. So beloved, dear, but at the same time so inaccessible. I turn around again and look at such an unloved, alien, but so close. He is ready to give me his heart, but I am not ready to be responsible for him. The person who likes me is ready to do anything for me, and I am only ready to agree to sit at the same desk with him. He wants so much to get closer to me, and I push him away so hard. He so wants to be with me, but I resist. I look into those dark, feeling-filled eyes, at this semi-smile addressed to me, and I remember the cold look of gray-green eyes, and the seemingly no different smile, but so beloved. Each time, imagining another in his place, I am ready to throw myself into my arms, spitting on all the rules of decency and my own principles, but I remember in time that this is not HE. But the reaction would be different for them ... one would most likely push away, and the second, probably, often thinks about it himself.

Often people have a choice - love or be loved? For special lucky ones, this is the same person. But I have never been lucky, so I can only announce my choice to you. Even though you already figured it out. Love is more important to me. To surrender to a person without a trace, even without receiving anything in return, to achieve him by all means, to suffer, to be killed, but to love ... Yes, one could choose another, but there one would have to do everything under pressure. Perhaps the thought comes that this is selfishness? That I am not ready to act for the sake of another person? Oh no, you're wrong! For the sake of a loved one, I can do anything. And even if you enter into an alliance with an unloved person, then it will not be long. Yes, at first you will even be able to play a happy fool in love, then you will become attached to this person, and his feelings will increase tenfold for you. He will want more, and you are unlikely to be able to refuse, because you yourself are already in his power. Just imagine - the first kiss with unloved lips, marriage to an unloved person, unloved father of your children, unloved grandfather of your grandchildren ... Is it possible to live like this? Yes, it will endure, get used to it, but you will not find happiness in such a relationship. Not always one love is enough for two. In fact, not everyone is ready for it. For example, I’m not ready, so I’ll sit as a lonely maiden, sobbing and remembering the very Beloved, who doesn’t care about me. I will suffer. I'll be torn inside with pain. I will hate the whole world and curse the one who invented love. And you know what? I won't be alone. Next to me will be a person experiencing the same feelings. And we will suffer together, but separately. I am not an egoist, I just understand that at one fine moment the non-reciprocal union will break up, and you will have to suffer much more than now. I don't want to hurt others, really. Believe me, I won’t even wish what I’m experiencing right now to my enemy. I'm sorry I made you go through this. Let me go, I'm not your option, you know. Let me not feel guilty. Leave me alone with my pain and never say "I love you" again. Get out of my life. Go away and forgive the hurt you've caused. I did not want. Truth. I love another one. I'm sorry. And HE will never say all these words to me, just as you will never hear them from me. You ask: "What is more important: to love or to be loved?". I will answer: "Love", closing my eyes and bursting into tears.