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10 years for a girl (and for a boy) is not only a “round” date, but also the beginning of a crisis pubertal (adolescent) period. This is the time associated with huge amount emotional reactions (mostly negative, since most of them are provoked by a lack of understanding of their condition).

Age features

Most of the changes at the age of 10 - 11 years occur at the hormonal level, psychology also changes. A certain independence appears in behavior, the exclusive dependence on mom and dad gradually disappears. Each parent should treat this with understanding and accept the fact that the child has a need for communication outside the home and interests on which he can spend his personal time (and the child must have them).

Girls at the age of 10 begin to feel like girls

Attempts to overly control the social circle and activities of a growing girl can result in:

1. Rebellion, a clear demonstration of disobedience (accompanied by anger, aggression, the desire to act “contrary to” results in truly unreasonable and life-threatening decisions).
2. Indifference (ignoring all the requirements of the mother and father).
3. Conditional humility that disappears as soon as the child is out of sight of the parents (accompanied by lies and the development of distrust of others).
4. True humility (accompanied by a drop in self-esteem, lack of initiative, a tendency to self-destruction).

In each individual case, one of these tactics of behavior is predominant, but in general they can alternate with each other. It is related to the variability emotional state which is typical for a girl aged 10-11 years. You should not worry about such instability, you just need to show, if possible, that you are ready to understand your child if he wants to explain himself to you or decides to discuss his condition.

Features of education

It happens that having a good intention to raise a “decent person”, parents raise their child in the conditions of numerous “shoulds” and a categorical “no”, not supported by any explanations. The presence of such groundless (from the point of view of children) prohibitions is very difficult for a growing person, since cognitive processes are still active, the desire to explore the world- also, and just parental disagreement is already an insufficient argument to stop.

Remember: explain your decisions to your child.

It doesn't matter if it's a girl or a boy - if your children know why you expect certain actions from them, they will be much more attentive to your requests. Talk to them about the consequences of possible transgressions. Not about punishment, but about how the offense will turn out personally for them.

How to conduct a dialogue

You need to be able to talk with a child of 10-11 years old. Never put pressure on your age, and don't say that you "know better". If you know, then explain, if you are worried, then tell me. Show your child that you are not just a parent, an authoritative, powerful person, but also loving person who worries and tries to save from trouble.

If you think that this is already clear, then there is a high probability that you are wrong. Speak out your reasons, your attitude. But be prepared that even after listening to you, the child will act in his own way. It's inevitable, he gets his experience. It is quite possible that you will flare up about this - this is natural, but you must definitely explain that the reason for your anger is not that the child is bad and naughty in itself, but in your worries about his life and health.

Also, in the process of communication, one should not compare children with their brothers and sisters, or with other people's children. This makes them devalue themselves and doubt their abilities. Moreover, there is no need to shout at them.

Understand: it is in the ability to control yourself that adulthood is manifested.

This does not mean that an adult is a robot. Of course, we all experience emotions, but it is as we grow older that the skill of self-control is acquired. You cannot demand this from a child, but you can set an example for him.

Praise

It is impossible to compare children with someone not only in a negative, but also in a positive way.

That is, to say “You are beautiful (smart, kind, and so on)” will be true, and the option “You are beautiful (smart, kind), like ...” is erroneous. Firstly, in such a comparison, children may get the feeling that they are not unique, not valuable in themselves. Secondly, there is a risk that there will be a desire to imitate in everything that other personality, to which they turned out to be similar, which again leads to a loss of individuality.

Incomplete families

Single-parent families have a special situation, and if a girl lives with her dad, it is advisable to make sure that she has an older “friend” (grandmother, aunt, nanny), who, from her own, female position, will help in solving certain issues. If you are fulfilling such a mentoring role, then take it seriously, do not divulge the secrets entrusted to you and do not ridicule the still immature decisions of your ward.

It is quite possible that a girl at the age of 10 will not dare to discuss any of the problems that concern her, so you should carefully “probe” the situation, inadvertently touching on “difficult” topics and noting the reaction for yourself. Fear of discussion is associated with the fear of showing one's ignorance, stupidity or awkwardness. If you have figured out what exactly hurts the child, then you can tell something funny about yourself on this topic. Let him see that everyone has failures and absurdities, and that there are no taboo topics for discussion.

Housework

First of all, you have to learn to consider a teenager of 10-11 years old not only as a child, but also as a person who wants to make decisions on his own, without regard to what they say or think about him. It is possible that he will consider the performance of household duties not as an objectively necessary action, but as an act of submission to someone else's will.

Discuss with the future hostess that you are not able to do everything around the house and it would be wise (if she is already old enough) to share worries with her. Give her your “territory,” for which she will be responsible, entrust her with a certain (but strictly limited) list of cases that are in her jurisdiction.

Attention: if your child has a separate room, then you do not need to try to control the process, quality and frequency of putting things in order in it.

Better instead:

• Keep your room in order (set a personal example).
• Discuss the consequences of such negligence (the occurrence of allergic reactions and frequent illnesses due to excess dust and poor hygiene, the appearance of an unpleasant smell in clothes, to which classmates may react badly).
• To be able to show a moderately positive reaction to the fact that the daughter nevertheless took up the cleaning (stormy enthusiasm, as well as ignoring, can cause a teenager to have a negative attitude towards the experience of housekeeping).

If a daughter of 10 years old does something outside the regulated list, then be sure to note how much she helped you, because this is not part of her duties, and she spent her free personal time taking care of her family and household chores.

Joint rest

According to most parents, modern child by the age of 10 is not interested in anything but phones, games and walks. But it is not the children who are to blame for this, who are often left to their own devices for a long time. They do not have not only a habit, but even a single experience of other pastimes. Give him such an experience, do something together, agree that for one day (or at least for a few hours) you will put down your phone, TV, computer together and do something else.

It does not have to be "useful" leisure, you can fool around, but in a special way. Practice co-creation.

But! Always be prepared that the child will not agree with your proposal. He needs to be able to dream up himself, try to negotiate. You can alternate the days when your child plans classes, and when you yourself. Do not try to adjust her plans to suit your needs, children feel this and can be seriously offended or lose motivation. But it is possible and even necessary to make reasonable remarks about practical issues in a calm, non-critical manner.

Respect

Parents who want to earn respect from their offspring must understand that the power of personal example also operates here. It is not necessary to indulge all the whims of the child, but to treat him with respect is a must.

In general, girls are characterized by more tactful behavior and a greater sense of responsibility. They are easier than boys to understand someone else's point of view, and therefore respectful (as well as compassionate) attitude towards others is more characteristic of them.

Psychology

At 10-11 years old, girls may be interested in psychology. Support this hobby, try to figure out your own inner world. Read the relevant literature, encourage the child to think about his inner state. Self-knowledge, self-development - this is exactly what will allow the child to develop self-confidence, to socialize safely.

As one daughter told her mother when asked about how to behave with children at the age of 10: “Be sincere and natural. And don't overload it with too much information.

Conclusion

There are no universal laws on how a boy or daughter should be brought up at 10-11 years old (and at any other age). Just be careful with your kids. These are actually separate individuals who a priori do not owe you anything. But if you want, you can become their reliable friend and excellent teacher. Then they will listen to you and help of their own free will, and not under pressure, and this, you see, is much more pleasant.

Physical development of a child at 10 years old

Like all parents, are you also surprised at how fast your child grows? It seems like recently they were seeing off to the first class, and already the first round date - 10 years!
The growth of children at this age: the height of boys is 125.6 - 136.3 cm, girls - 129-142 cm (do not be surprised, but at this age girls really grow faster than boys - girls begin to develop much faster than boys, which will last for several years). The weight of a boy at 10 years old is 27.7 - 34.9 kg, the weight of a girl at 10 years old is 28.2 - 35.1 kg.

It is very important at this age to educate and maintain a sense of dignity. So your child will be confident in himself and in his abilities, will be able to find a solution in difficult life situations, will not be influenced by other children and will do what he does not want (vandalism, hooliganism).

Many preteens behave like adults: they already have such language skills and knowledge that they can formulate thoughtful and organized thoughts, express opinions as adults express them. Therefore, it will be interesting in his company, as he is a good conversationalist. But remember, he is still a child (!) who wants to run, jump and play.

At the age of ten there is a sharp moment - against parental control in any of its manifestations. It is very easy to lose authority. It is worth giving some slack somewhere or, conversely, going too far - and that thin psychological thread that connects you with the child will break. The paradox of this age is that a teenager is better influenced by strangers than his own parents. And it is influenced by many, many things. Therefore, it is important to be a friend to your child!

Intellectual development of a child at 10 years old

At this age, children are actively learning - they like to learn new things. Reading skills have already gone beyond learning, and most children enjoy more complex literature. They learn more and more difficult incomprehensible words. Their logic contributes to writing essays and expressing thoughts and criticism on paper. , discuss them, read together! Children are always pleased not only with the independent collection of information and research, but also with their parents. And don't forget to praise! This is very important - the recognition of children's labors.

The need and ability to bring the work started to the end is already beginning to form.

Studies show that 62-63% of boys choose a profession that was discussed in detail with their parents at the age of 10-12.

Then, in adolescence, they discussed other professions, but, having passed puberty, they returned to their former interests. So parents should be especially attentive to the interests of the boy at this age, discuss with him more often and in more detail what he would like to do professionally. At this age, he makes some crafts (car models, for example), some drawings, collects something. After a couple of years, in adolescence, he will most often forget about all this. But the task of the parents is to completely preserve all this, so that the boy can look at all this, return to all this. Psychotherapist Deborah Tannen emphasizes: “The hobbies and interests of a 10-12-year-old boy come from the depths of his soul, they are generated by his innermost interests and abilities. All later interests are imposed on him by the micro-society, behind them is the desire to please the “inner circle”.

Mother

Moms of ten-year-olds should to this childhood become excellent psychologists. The child grows and changes almost before our eyes. If you are a girl's mother - tell her about growing up, about the first menstruation, prepare for growing up. Mothers of boys should try not to raise infantile sons. And this is where daddy comes in to help!

Moms, the microclimate in the family depends on you! Therefore, make every effort to ensure that the child is interested at home, with you, and not outside (for the sake of children's safety).

Do you know what interests your child? Therefore, go to performances, competitions, musicals, interesting show programs together.

And be sure to take time for yourself! Otherwise, it threatens with "professional" burnout ...

Joint weekdays

Your child is 10 years old, which means that you can play quests with the whole family and even invent them yourself. Any activity is good - so ride a bike, rollerblade, skate, ski together. If dad or mom are fond of rock climbing - it's time to introduce this to the child. (the instructor will help you choose the right “rock”).

At this age, children love. Therefore, collect a home library or introduce your child to visiting the municipal library. Also, 10-year-olds still love being read aloud to them.

Good gross motor skills allow the child: football, basketball, gymnastics, skating and more. In computer and video games, this is already a serious contender with increased coordination and reflexes. If before that he did not know anything about musical instruments, then it is worth introducing him. May you like it?

At the age of ten, it is already possible. This option (provided that the place where you are going to send your son or daughter, proven and worthy) is close to ideal. In the camp, your child is both independent and supervised. You can combine business with pleasure and send your child to a specialized camp - sports or one that specializes in learning foreign languages.

At the age of 10, the child becomes more interesting in the company of peers than in yours. You should not forbid communicating with those you do not like, criticizing friends and generally overexpressing negative emotions in relation to those who surround your offspring. You can be sure that everything will be done exactly the opposite - just out of a sense of contradiction. Even if, try to calmly tell him about it. The wording “I forbid you to communicate with him” is categorically not suitable. On the contrary, emphasize that you respect his choice, but ask to pay attention to some qualities of character that, in your opinion, do not really correspond to the status of a friend or girlfriend.

Try to come to terms with the fact that your child is gradually moving away from you, do not try to tie him to you by force. Some degree of control is definitely needed. But it is not worth responding to aggression with aggression. To convince a child who actively asserts his own "I" in anything is possible only through negotiations. Advise, but don't be intrusive. Be persistent, but do not push too hard - the effect will be just the opposite.

Come up with some joint activities that will be interesting for both you and your child. It happens that the parents of a friend or girlfriend are more respected by the child than his own. The reasons can be very different: from the personal qualities of other people's parents to the fear that the child experiences in front of his dad and mom. At ten or eleven years old, a person is already old enough, and relationships with him largely depend on the ability of those who are older to cooperate.

To-do list

1. Choose the right camp for you children's recreation during holidays(preference should be given to sports and recreation or language).
2. Register your child for extra classes (studying of foreign language).
3. Offer your child extra-curricular activities(relevant for mothers of girls, dancing is suitable for boys).
4. Check the condition of children's teeth at the dentist twice a year.
5. Visit a pediatric dermatologist if during the period of growing up the child began to have skin problems.

The period starting at age 10 is the time of the onset of puberty. During which of small child an angular teenager is formed. This has been happening for a long time, but the first changes are already noticeable now. Both the appearance of the child and his emotional sphere, features of communication.

In their development, children at this age have some features, although in general the stage is also characterized by many common features. So, girls and boys begin to grow and develop physically actively, they actively gain height and weight. Often, the development of a 10-year-old girl is faster than that of a 10-year-old boy.

Girls are ahead of their male peers in terms of growth and physical development, which can be observed in the example of a child's class. Against the background of large and rather tall girls, boys seem like children. But these differences will gradually be eliminated as children grow and develop further.

The development of a child at the age of 10 has certain features - the body begins to accumulate nutrients, for the upcoming growth spurt soon. Because of this, children can begin to actively put on weight. If nutrition is not taken under control during this period, it is possible to gain excess weight, which will subsequently be difficult to get rid of.

Based on changes in the physical condition, psychological features may arise - children may be ashamed of their bodies, worry about the changes that occur to them.

What should a 10 year old be able to do?

At this age, leading in a child's life is learning activity, which takes a lot of physical and emotional strength. Due to active learning, children's horizons expand, theoretical thinking and consciousness are formed. Also, there are abilities to analyze and plan both their daily affairs and future prospects. In order to form a clear need for learning, a certain motivation is formed, at this age children must have the skills of independent learning, storing large amounts of information in their memory, its full and adequate reproduction, and the full use of their knowledge.

Children at this age should be able to qualitatively and fully perform the tasks assigned to them. So, what should a girl or a boy be able to do at 10 years old? At this age, they are able to actively help their parents with housework - cleaning, dishes, partially cooking, maintaining order, caring for pets, going to the store.

The child must fully cope with all domestic issues, staying at home alone, he must show competence in many household and social surveys. Children of this age should easily communicate in a team, but prefer children of the same sex in communication. The need for maternal care and protection is reduced, but the behavior of a child at this age is still highly dependent on the mother's upbringing of parents.

How much does a child weigh at 10 years old

At this age, children begin to actively grow and gain weight. Weight gain at 10 years old can be up to 4-5 kg ​​or more, depending on the characteristics of the physique, growth and heredity, and nutritional habits.

On average, the weight norm for a 10-year-old girl is from 23 to 42 kg, depending on growth and developmental characteristics according to WHO tables. With this growth of a girl by the age of 10, it can be from 130 to 150 cm. At the same time, the main indicators of a boy's development also have fluctuation boundaries. So, the weight norm for a boy at 10 years old is from 25 to 44 kg, while his height can range from 132 to 147 cm.

Your son is gradually growing up: externally and internally. You can barely keep up with what's happening to him. A lot is changing: from clothes and habits to worldview and attitude towards girls.

The difficult teenage stage is laid down by nature, it cannot be avoided. For some, it happens earlier, for others - later, but on average, boys begin to turn from a child into a man at the age of 11-12 years.

Believe me, your son is not easy right now. Unstable mental processes and new views of the world around us are superimposed on physical malaise. If you understand what is happening in your son's body and can explain it to him, then this stage will be a little easier.

Let's start with physiological changes.

What happens in the body of adolescents at 11-12 years old

The cardiovascular system. The heart of a teenager increases significantly, this is due to the growth of the heart muscle - myocardium. The heart volume of a 10-year-old boy is 130 cc, while that of a 13-year-old boy is already 443 cc. At the same time, blood vessels grow more slowly and the heart needs to exert more effort so that the body does not suffer from a lack of oxygen. The load on the heart increases and pain may appear in it.

Respiratory system. The volume of the lungs also increases. But it is not yet possible to use all the oxygen received, so the brain does not have enough proper nutrition, which leads to headaches. The larynx begins to grow and the voice changes.

Musculoskeletal system. The tubular bones of the arms and legs and vertebrae grow rapidly. At the same time, the spine remains very mobile, the probability of its curvature is high. Large muscles grow faster than small ones, so it is difficult for the boy to work with small objects, he quickly gets tired. Adolescents at 11-12 years old look disproportionate: Long hands and legs, big feet.

Leather. The changes that occur in the boy's body lead to the fact that the sebaceous glands begin to work more actively and irritations, rashes and pustules appear on the skin.

Nervous system. The brain begins to develop actively, especially the anterior sections of both hemispheres. The teenager begins to respond sharply to all the comments that are directed at him. Excitation prevails over inhibition, so adolescents are unbalanced, their mood often changes.

The work of the vegetative nervous system that connects the spinal cord and brain with internal organs also not fully balanced. The blood vessels are poorly filled with blood, the pulse and breathing quicken, the brain lacks oxygen, dizziness and weakness appear. Vegetovascular dystonia is a frequent companion of adolescents.

Endocrine system. In boys at the age of 11-12, the thyroid gland begins to actively grow, which is responsible for the energy balance in the body. The sex glands also develop, and the amount of testosterone in the blood of boys increases.

About the effect of testosterone on the body of a man in general and a teenager in particular, see the video excerpt from the webinar "10 important secrets that mothers should know about boys."

Boys' behavior during adolescence

Internal changes have a very strong effect on the behavior of boys.

• become very emotional, even those who used to be calm. All this is accompanied by mood swings: in one minute, stormy joy can be replaced by intense sadness;
• looking for "thrill" and taking big risks;
• begin to pay attention to girls and want to like them;
• begin to consciously approach the choice of clothes and care for the skin;
• react painfully to comments and violently express disagreement;
• they don’t finish what they started, and sometimes they don’t start what they were talking about;
• get tired quickly;
• become irritable;
• they can do something energetically, and after a couple of minutes they fall on the bed exhausted.

Relations with girls at this age are difficult to build, one of the reasons is that it is at the age of 11-12 that girls are larger and stronger than boys. This affects the self-esteem of children.

Our free book "" will help you understand and cope with your son's emotions.

In general, if you look at what a teenager wants to be and what he really is from the outside, then these are almost two parallel worlds. Inside the boy is strong, handsome, the girls like him and he succeeds. And on the outside, he is still clumsy, disproportionate and with a changing voice.

Which boys show the most pronounced changes in behavior at the age of 11-12?

The visibility of changes in the behavior and health of the boy for him and those around him will also depend on what lifestyle he led in childhood and leads in adolescence.

Children who move a lot, go in for sports and generally lead an active lifestyle, endure difficulties more easily. transitional age. Physically, they develop more harmoniously and they have where to throw out excess energy, and sometimes aggression.

Such active boys even before adolescence make parents and other adults “nervous”, so their behavior change at the age of 11-12 is not so noticeable.

Boys who stay at home all the time, move little and may be overweight, have a much harder time. Their changes in health and behavior are more pronounced.

Adults who are used to a calm child can also find it difficult to readjust.

For parents who want to understand their children, and especially for mothers who want their sons to maximize their potential for courage, we have created a special training.

Remember: "Forewarned is forearmed"? The useful knowledge and practice that you will receive at the training will be a support, a foundation in order to help your son pass this difficult age with dignity, calmly and confidently.

This course only about boys, features of their physiology and outlook. During the training you will learn:

• how to understand and predict the behavior of your teenager in certain cases;
• about when to let go of the situation, and when, on the contrary, to take control;
• how, in a bond, mom-dad-son does not turn into a “swan, cancer and pike”;
• how your fears can poison your son's life.

The training will start on March 29 and will last 1.5 months. Details about the training program and conditions of participation.

Adolescence also called transitional adulthood and responsibility. This stage is difficult for both the boy and the parents. To help your son, you need to listen to him, understand him, accept the changes that are happening to him. You can not make fun of his appearance and relationships with girls.

A question for mothers of girls - is an article about physiological and behavioral changes in girls in adolescence needed?

At 10-11 years old, your offspring is no longer small, but not yet a teenager. This is a very difficult period, both in human development and in the relationship between the child and parents. At this age, not only children's psychology changes, but also physiology.

It is noteworthy that the period before puberty, namely 10-11 years, does not proceed in the same way for everyone: someone copes on their own, and not bad, but someone needs the help of a psychologist who will help them survive this difficult period.

PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES IN A CHILD 10-11 YEARS OLD

Firstly, at 10-11 years old, growth accelerates, often children become "lanky" due to the sharp growth of the skeleton and limbs. Secondly, the mass of muscles increases, which, however, are not yet able to endure prolonged stress. Therefore, it is important to control the time of physical activity and rest.

Thirdly, external signs of gender are becoming more and more noticeable (rounding of the pelvis in girls, changes in appearance genitals, etc.).

Very many children begin to complex in connection with the changes taking place in their body, hence the isolation, irritability and unwillingness to listen to adults appear.

CHARACTER OF A CHILD AT 10-11 YEARS

Parents should be prepared for the fact that the child is about to begin to rebel against their control, and indeed against everything that he previously agreed with. It is worth going too far somewhere or, conversely, giving up slack, and the loss of parental authority is not far off.

The peculiarity of age is that the opinion of peers (and other adults) for the child becomes more important than the parent. And now the girl will be a popular coquette from the class, and not her mother. Therefore, if you start to openly criticize a friend or girlfriend of a child, be sure that your yesterday's baby will do everything exactly the opposite out of a sense of contradiction.

Therefore, it is necessary to criticize the child's friends very delicately without any prohibitions. If you do not like one of your peers, it is enough to draw the attention of the offspring to the negative qualities of his friend, which do not quite correspond to age or norms of behavior.

You should not try to tie the child to yourself by force, you will have to come to terms with the fact that your "little bear cub" will now move away from you more and more. But it’s also not worth letting the situation take its course and depriving the child of even a small share of control. All problems must be solved through negotiations, and not through threats and aggression. Teach your child to cooperate with adults, tactfully express their opinions without fear of them. After all, it is at this age that the foundation of the future relationship between you and the child is laid, and it is unlikely that in five years you will want to face even greater problems.

10-11 years old is an age at which it is very easy to fall under the influence of "bad people", so pay attention to the slightest changes in your child's behavior. After all, it is better to prevent trouble than to reproach yourself for inaction later.