...................................................................................................................................................................................

Bear in mind, Edik, Allah alone knows where the spark goes for this unworthy geek in the glorious family of internal combustion engines.
May his carburetor dry up forever and ever!

Prisoner of the Caucasus, or Shurik's New Adventures Here is the first toast on this occasion ...

Purpose of visit?
- Ethnographic expedition.
- Clear. Looking for oil?
- Not really. I'm looking for folklore. I will write down old fairy tales, legends, toasts.

What's this?
- You need a toast.
- Yes.
- A toast without wine is the same as the wedding night without a bride.

No, I don't drink.
- Do I drink? What is there to drink?
- You misunderstood me. I don't drink at all. Do you understand? I don't have the physical ability.
- That's about it - the first toast.

My great-grandfather said: I have a desire to buy a house, but I don’t have the opportunity ...
I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire.
So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities.

And when the whole flock flew south for the winter, one small but proud bird said: "Personally, I will fly right into the sun."
She began to rise higher and higher, but very soon burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge.
So let's drink to the fact that none of us, no matter how high he flew, would never break away from the team.

What happened dear?
- What, what is it, dear?
- I'm sorry about the bird!

Wait... I had a hunch. You're drunk?
No you! When I'm drunk, I'm wild. Here... And now I'm quiet.
I'm lucky.

Joke. It's here...

And the princess, out of anger, hanged herself on her own scythe, because he accurately counted how many grains were in the bag, how many drops in the sea, and how many stars were in the sky. So let's drink to cybernetics!

This is a student, a Komsomol member, an athlete, and finally, she is just a beauty!

Wait a minute... Please slow down, I'm taking notes.

And then, on the ruins of the chapel...
- Excuse me, did I destroy the chapel too?
- No, it was before you, in the 14th century.

A violator is not a violator, but a major scientific worker, a man of intellectual labor. You came to visit us, didn't you? Collect our fairy tales, legends there, you know, toasts ...
- Toast?
- Toast, yes, toast.
And he did not calculate his strength, right?

I brought you a toast.
- Bad, right? Well... What do you allow yourself, listen?
- You asked for 3 copies...

To live, as they say, is good!
- A good life is even better!
- Exactly!

You're being apolitical, to be honest. You don't understand the political situation.
You see life from the window of my car.
25 sheep! When our district... did not fully pay off the state for wool.
- And you do not confuse your personal wool with the state!

So so. The groom agrees, the relatives too, but the bride ...
- Poorly we still educate our youth. Very bad.
Surprisingly frivolous attitude to marriage.

This is not a lezginka for you, but a twist. I show everything first.
With the toe of your right foot, you crush the cigarette butt, like this.
You crush the second cigarette butt with the toe of your left foot.
And now you crush both cigarette butts together.

By the way, in the neighboring area, the groom stole a member of the party.

BUT! There are two of them...
- And this one, with a tail.
- The donkey doesn't count. Second extra.
- Witness.
- What if... uh...
- No casualties.
- Yes, we have to wait.
- That's right, we'll wait. Give it up.

You have not justified the high trust placed in you.
- Impossible to work.
- You give unrealistic plans.
- Is that like him? Voluntarism!
- In my house - do not express yourself!

Whose shoe? O! My. Thank you.

Bambarbia! Kergud.
- What did he say?
- He says that if you refuse, they will stab you. Joke.

What are you shipping?
- The bride was stolen, comrade foreman.
- Joker! You will fry the barbecue with this bride, do not forget to invite.

There will be no wedding! I stole it, I will return it!

Dear guests, welcome.
- Tell me, Marim, do you have a prosecutor?
- We have everything, we have the whole city, only they were waiting for you. Wine dear guests!

Uh, no, no need to hurry, no need to hurry. This is our guest.
It's important to heal. It is important to return a full-fledged person to society, right?
No need to hurry.

And now he is in a state of catatonic excitement and requires you to take him immediately.
- Requires - accept.

Go, go. We will heal you. Alcoholics are our profile.

Take off your hat.
- What?
- Take off your hat.

Listen, it's a shame, I swear, it's a shame, well, I didn't do anything, yes, I just entered.

In Epidemic. Universal Vaccination Plan Announced

In short, Sklikhasovsky!

Calm down, lie down, lie down. Otherwise - "memento sea".
- Instantly...
- In the sea!

You have no right! You have no right! This is self-judgment! I demand that I be tried according to our Soviet laws.
- And did you buy it according to Soviet laws? Or maybe, according to Soviet laws, you stole it?

Let's stop this useless discussion.

Get up! Judgment is coming!
- Long live our court - the most humane court in the world!

My great-grandfather used to say: "I want to buy a house, but I don't have the opportunity. I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I don't have the desire." So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities.

At a driving school in Georgia, a driver's license applicant takes an exam. The inspector explains the traffic situation:

You are driving down a narrow road. On the left - high-high mountains. On the right - cool-cool abriv. Suddenly on the road - a beautiful girl. And next to her is a terrible, terrible old woman. Who will you press?

Of course, the old woman!

Fool! .. You need to press the brake!

So let's drink to the fact that in a difficult situation we do not forget to press the brake!

On the beach, a girl asks her mother: "Mommy, why do aunts have smooth bathing suits, and uncles have bulging ones?" The mother was embarrassed, she wanted to spank the girl, but then she said with a serious look: "And the uncles, daughter, put money there."

I propose a toast to rich wallets!

And then one small but very proud bird said:

Personally, I will fly directly to the Sun!

And she began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge!

So let's drink to the fact that each of us, no matter how high he rises, never breaks away from the team!

One Georgian tells a friend:

Understand! I went to the doctor, and he says to me: "You can't drink! You can't smoke! You can't be with women!"

Poor fellow! sympathizes friend.

What poor thing am I? I gave him money... and he allowed me everything!

Let's drink to rich people!

Let's drink to those men who can stand up for themselves and lie down for others!

Who lies - he does not fall. The one who runs falls. Let's drink to the runners!

I am walking one night through the park, the moon, the stars, and the guy and the girl are kissing on the bench. I go another time: the moon, the stars... and the same guy on the same bench is kissing another girl. I go next time: night, moon, stars... and the same guy, on the same bench, already with the third girl.

So let's drink to the constancy of men and the inconstancy of women!

Once a swallow with her little chicks escaped from predators and ended up on the edge of a deep mountain gorge. And the first chick began to ask:

Mommy, move me and I will always love you!

You're lying! - said the swallow and threw him into the abyss.

Mama, move me, and someday I will save you too! - said the second chick.

You're lying! - said the swallow and also threw him into the abyss. And the third chick said:

Mom, save me, and when I grow up I will also save my children!

But you are telling the truth, - said the swallow and saved him.

So let's drink to the bitter truth!

Old man stood at the bus stop, a young man approached him and asked: "What time is it?". The man didn't react at all. The guy repeated his question. Again silence. With a strong curse, the stranger left.

The person next to me asked indignantly:

Well, what a manner, why didn't you answer young man?

I'll tell you why. Here I am, standing here by myself, waiting for the bus. A guy comes up to me and wants to know the time. Let me answer. Then we can start a conversation, and he will offer: "Let's drink a glass." Then we'll drink one and another. Then I will offer him a snack, and we will go to my house, fry sausage with eggs in the kitchen. At that time my daughter will come in, and he will fall in love with her, and she with him. After a while they will get married. But why such a son-in-law who cannot buy a watch for himself.

So let's drink to men who can buy everything they need!

They say that a losing streak sometimes turns out to be a take-off.

So let's drink to our joyful prospects on the runway!

Let's drink for honest and modest people! Especially since there are so few of us left...

Don't drink water if you can drink wine!

Don't drink wine if you can drink good wine!

Don't drink good wine when you can drink very good wine!

And most importantly, do not forget to drink so that you always have money for something that is better!

Women are divided into three categories - "ladies", "not ladies", and "ladies, but not for you."

Let's drink to the fact that you have lived for 132 years.

And so that at the age of 132 you died.

And not just died, but killed.

And not just killed, but slaughtered.

And not just stabbed, but out of jealousy.

And not just out of jealousy, but for the cause!

So let's have a drink here

In that world they will not give!

Well, if they give -

Let's drink there and drink here!

Friends! Let's drink to our enemies. So that they have everything: a country villa, a luxury car in the garage, Persian carpets, a swimming pool, a fireplace, and of course, a satellite phone that they would only call on 01, 02 and 03!!!

First toast: Goodbye! We won't see you sober today!

No need to chase a woman like a departed tram. Remember that the next tram is coming from behind.

So let's drink for trams to run more often!

God made a man out of clay, and he had a small piece of clay left.

What else do you want to blind, man? God asked.

The man thought: everything seems to be there - arms, legs, head - and said:

Give me happiness.

But God, although he saw everything and knew everything, did not know what happiness was. He gave the clay to the man and said:

Blind your own happiness.

For our success in this matter!

Let's drink to the fact that late at night we were walking down the street and we were attacked by money! But we couldn't fight them off!

Once a young horseman was riding through the mountains of beautiful Georgia with his beautiful wife. He struck strong as a bull, fast as a mountain river, his eyes were like those of an eagle, his dagger was sharp, like an attack of appendicitis, his mind was tortuous, like a scrawl on a hat ...

And now, on a rock, above the road, a mountain goat appeared. And the horseman at full gallop drew his gun and shot at the animal, but not a single muscle trembled on the goat's muzzle. Then he stopped his horse and, taking aim, fired again, but the goat did not even move. Then the horseman got down to the ground, and kneeling down, fired again, but the goat only jumped aside. And when the horseman wanted to lie down for a shot, the goat had already disappeared. Both the young horseman and his young wife died of hunger.

So let's drink to ensure that such goats do not come across on our life path!

Dear women! I wish you always have four animals: a mink on your shoulders, a "jaguar" in the garage, a lion in your bed and a donkey that would pay for it all!

Once a camel asks his mother:

Mom, look at the horse's slim, thin legs, but why do we have such crooked paws?

But we will pass through the desert, but the horse will not be able to, it will get stuck.

Mom, look how straight the horse's teeth are, but why do we have such crooked and bent teeth, and saliva flows all the time?

But we can eat thorns in the desert, but a horse cannot.

Mom, look how smooth and beautiful the back of the horse is, but why do we have such a thing hanging out there?

But we can survive in the desert for two weeks without water, but a horse cannot.

Mom, why the hell do we need all this at the zoo?

So let's drink to survive in our zoo!

A girl's weapon is her clothes.

Let's drink to general disarmament.

An eagle flew high in the sky. And the Eagle had a beautiful pearl necklace around his neck. Suddenly, a golden eagle flies out from behind a cloud and says to the Eagle: "Give way to me!"

But the proud Eagle said: "No!", and did not give way. And they began to fight. They fought day and night and no one could win. In the heat of the fight, Berkut accidentally broke the necklace and the pearls scattered all over the Earth...

So let's drink to those Beautiful Pearls that sit here among us!

A turtle swims along the river, a poisonous snake sits on its back. The snake thinks: "I bite - it will drop." The turtle thinks: "If I drop it, it will bite."

So let's drink to the right female friendship that can overcome any obstacle!

Women are flowers. And the flowers are beautiful when they bloom.

So let's drink to promiscuous women!

A guy comes to the sorcerer and asks:

Make me a member to the ground.

The sorcerer thought, thought, and made him ten centimeters long legs.

So let's drink to a well-composed technical task!

Let's drink vodka to the generation that chooses Pepsi! Because we get more!

People say: "If you want to make the right decision, consult your wife and do the opposite. I drink to our wives, giving us the opportunity to difficult situation find the right solution.

One evening a young woman came to the telegraph office and in a trembling voice asked for a form. She wrote a telegram on one form, tore it up, then on the second - and tore it again. Finally, she wrote a third telegram and handed it to the window, asking her to send it quickly. When the telegram was sent, and the sender went home, the telegraph operator asked about the first two.

Here is what was written in the first:

Its end. I don't want to see you anymore.

The second had this text:

Don't try to write and see me anymore.

And the third one was:

Come immediately by the next train. Waiting for an answer.

So let's drink to the constancy of the female character!

Recently I was in France and got into a conversation with a Parisian.

Good woman, - he said, - this is the one who has a husband and a lover.

Is it? I thought it was bad, I said.

No, the bad one is the one with only a lover.

And I thought it was fallen.

No, the fallen one is the one who has no one.

And I thought it was lonely.

No, a single woman is one who has one husband.

So let's drink, dear friends, to single women!

One wise Georgian said:

If you want to be happy for one day, get drunk.

If you want to be happy for a week, get sick.

If you want to be happy for a month, get married.

If you want to be happy for a year, get a mistress.

If you want to be happy all your life - be healthy, dear!

So let's drink to the happiness of all those present - to health!

Going to war, the king put a chastity belt on his charming wife. Mounting a horse to ride on a campaign, he called his faithful friend and servant to him:

I give you the key to my most important treasury. If I am killed in the war, you will unfasten the chastity belt my wife wears. And you will do it exactly one year after my death. Only you can I entrust this key, for I do not doubt your honesty and nobility.

Honored with such confidence, the friend and servant bowed to the king, kissed the sovereign hand and took the key. The king had not had time to drive far from the castle, when he heard the clatter of hooves: his faithful friend and servant were catching up with him.

A successful short toast said in time can quickly congratulate the hero of the day, cheer up the company and spur to raise glasses. At the same time, guests do not get bored while listening to a long monologue. We present to your attention a collection of concise toasts for all occasions. Memorize at least a few of them and you will be the center of attention all evening.

Funny and cool short toasts

First toast: Goodbye! We won't see you sober today!

My friends, you can't drink individually, let's get drunk collectively. For the great strength of the team!

Let's drink to the fact that we have as much grief left as there are drops left in our glasses.

Dear friend, I wish you always had a light heart and heavy pockets!

Let there be people in your life for whom you want to drink, and not those who make you want to get drunk!

Drunkenness - fight! So let's drink before the fight!

Let's drink to those who, absent, are invisibly present here!

Let's drink to our luck, at least sometimes let the bird of happiness beat in our snares!

Happiness! Good and green dough!

Dear friends, let's drink to passion! Passion how you want to drink!

Better late than late!

Handles, legs began to feel cold - isn't it time for us to twitch?!

They say that youth is a shortcoming that passes. I want time to pass, but the lack remains. Let's drink to all men with such a defect!

So that your desires go nuts from your capabilities!

Let's drink to friendship, because it is she who multiplies joy and shares sorrow!

Since there are no more reasons to drink, let's drink to the "wiring"! So, drink and think about vodka!

Be healthy for a hundred centuries!

To eat and drink, to want and be able, so that everywhere and everywhere there is someone and where!

With the coming alcohol intoxication, comrades!

The birth of good is good. The birth can be of a person, an idea, a tree, a crop, a feeling... And now I want to drink to the birth of friendship this evening.

I propose to drink for understanding! Without it, our life would not be so peaceful and harmonious.

I wish you a lot of money, a lot of love and a lot of time to enjoy it!

Let's drink for honest and modest people! Especially since there are so few of us left...

Fir-trees-sticks, dense forest,
Get fined for downtime!
Let's drink, brothers, for men
We are for no apparent reason!

With good company, as they say, it's a sin not to drink. So let's not sin, but, raising our glasses, let's drink. Startled!

Weak women have a passion for strong men. Strong men have a passion for women's weaknesses. For the unity of opposites!

I want to drink to see no evil, hear no evil, remember no evil, and do no evil!

Let's drink to our friends going to banquets and our enemies on crutches!

Let everything always pass by
In addition to health, money and intimacy!

I drink a glass for my family!

Let's drink to the fact that the tables burst with abundance, and the beds - with love!

Even Aristotle said that two friends have one soul for two. So let's drink to the unity of our souls!

God gave a day to drink, but no one knows what that day is. So let's drink every day, so as not to miss it!

So that there are no tears and deceit in the eyes of our loved ones!

Vodka is our enemy. But who said that we are afraid of enemies?!

Fighting the green serpent
In our hearts, we all curse him,
But we can always repay the debt:
If we need to drink, we drink!

With age, memory, vision begin to change, it even changes close person and only old friends remain unchanged. For friends!

Who is a friend to everyone, I do not consider him a friend. So let's drink to a narrow circle of friends!

The composition of wishes is always the same:
More health and banknotes!

Drink like us, drink with us, drink more than us, drink faster than us!

Let's drink to business and sex, which in Russian means: success in business and happiness in your personal life!

Let's drink for the Airborne Forces - Faith, Valor and Luck!

They say that a person who has reached the heights of power is lost to friends. Let's raise our glasses so that friendship does not die even at the heights of power!

Let's drink to the fact that we would go, we were attacked by money and we could not fight them off!

Men's short toasts

There is no Monday that does not give way to Tuesday. There is no place that one gentleman would not yield to another. For gentlemen!

Let's make a "trap" for the health of our wives!

How many single men dream of good wives! By the way, married men- too ... So let our dreams come true!

Let's drink to wives and mistresses, so that they never meet!

The smiles of women hurt, beckon, burn, and wounded men drink for women!

A good wife is a lifesaver. So let's drink to that!

Let's drink to the women who make our hearts beat faster!

If your memory fails you, rejoice that it is not your wife. Let's drink to our faithful wives!

A loser clutches at love like a drowning man at a straw. A true gentleman always has at hand Lifebuoy women's hearts. Per true gentlemen, that is, for us!

Let's drink to drunkenness beautiful women, wine and songs!

Women's short toasts

Let's drink for us beautiful ones. Well, if we are not beautiful, then the men are snickering!

A loved one needs to be groomed and cherished: from this, his withers and cherish grow!

If a man does not succumb to the seduction of women, he is just a blockhead. And they are good only to heat the oven. We'll drink now for real men!

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. So let's quickly drink to men so as not to torment their stomachs!

Let's drink to ensure that there is always flour in your house, not flour. So that you have a mink on your shoulders, and not a mink from a mole in the country. For flour and mink!!! For prosperity in your home!

For us beautiful! For them, the rich!

For us beautiful! For you gullible...

Let's raise our glasses for the Komsomol - for All Affectionate, Sociable, Courageous Men!

Let's take a dose for men who are a little more beautiful than a monkey, but with such an appearance have the temperament of a lion!

My great-grandfather used to say: “I want to buy a house, but I don't have the opportunity.
I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire.”
So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities.

At a driving school in Georgia, a driver's license applicant takes an exam. The inspector explains the traffic situation:
- You are driving down a narrow road. On the left - high-high mountains. On the right - cool-cool abriv. Suddenly on the road - a beautiful girl. And next to her is a terrible, terrible old woman. Who will you press?
- Of course, the old woman!
- Fool! .. You need to press the brake!
So let's drink to the fact that in a difficult situation we do not forget to press the brake!

On the beach, a girl asks her mother: “Mommy, why do aunts have smooth swimsuits, and uncles stick out?” The mother was embarrassed, she wanted to spank the girl, but then she said with a serious look: “And the uncles, daughter, put money there.”
I propose a toast to rich wallets!

... and then one small but very proud bird said:
- Personally, I will fly directly to the Sun!
And she began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge!
So let's drink to the fact that each of us, no matter how high he rises, never breaks away from the team!

One Georgian tells a friend:
- Understand! I went to the doctor, and he says to me: “You can’t drink! No smoking! You can't with women!"
- Poor fellow! sympathizes friend.
- Yes, what a poor fellow I am? I gave him money ... and he allowed me everything!
Let's drink to rich people!

Let's drink to those men who can stand up for themselves and lie down for others!

Who lies - he does not fall. The one who runs falls. Let's drink to the runners!

I am walking one night through the park, the moon, the stars, and the guy and the girl are kissing on the bench. I go another time: the moon, the stars ... and the same guy on the same bench kisses another girl. I go next time: night, moon, stars... and the same guy, on the same bench, already with a third girl.
So let's drink to the constancy of men and the inconstancy of women!

Once a swallow with her little chicks escaped from predators and ended up on the edge of a deep mountain gorge. And the first chick began to ask:
- Mommy, move me, and I will always love you!
- You're lying! - said the swallow and threw him into the abyss.
- Mom, move me, and someday I will save you too! - said the second chick.
- You're lying! - said the swallow and also threw him into the abyss. And the third chick said:
- Mom, save me, and when I grow up I will also save my children!
“But you are telling the truth,” said the swallow, and saved him.
So let's drink to the bitter truth!

An elderly man was standing at a bus stop, a young man approached him and asked: “What time is it?”. The man didn't react at all. The guy repeated his question. Again silence. With a strong curse, the stranger left.
The person next to me asked indignantly:
- Well, what a manner, why didn't you answer the young man?
- I'll tell you why. Here I am, standing here by myself, waiting for the bus. A guy comes up to me and wants to know the time. Let me answer. Then we can start a conversation, and he will offer: "Let's drink a glass." Then we'll drink one and another. Then I will offer him a snack, and we will go to my house, fry sausage with eggs in the kitchen. At that time my daughter will come in, and he will fall in love with her, and she with him. After a while they will get married. But why such a son-in-law who cannot buy a watch for himself.
So let's drink to men who can buy everything they need!

They say that a losing streak sometimes turns out to be a take-off.
So let's drink to our joyful prospects on the runway!

Let's drink for honest and modest people! Especially since there are so few of us left...

Don't drink water if you can drink wine!
Don't drink wine if you can drink good wine!
Don't drink good wine when you can drink very good wine!
And most importantly, do not forget to drink so that you always have money for something that is better!

Women are divided into three categories - "ladies", "not ladies", and "ladies, but not for you."
So let's drink to the ladies!

Let's drink to the fact that you have lived for 132 years.
And so that at the age of 132 you died.
And not just died, but killed.
And not just killed, but slaughtered.
And not just stabbed, but out of jealousy.
And not just out of jealousy, but for the cause!

So let's have a drink here
In that world they will not give!
Well, if they give -
Let's drink there and drink here!

Friends! Let's drink to our enemies. So that they have everything: a country villa, a luxury car in the garage, Persian carpets, a swimming pool, a fireplace, and of course, a satellite phone that they would only call on 01, 02 and 03!!!

First toast: Goodbye! We won't see you sober today!

No need to chase a woman like a departed tram. Remember that the next tram is coming from behind.
So let's drink for trams to run more often!

God made a man out of clay, and he had a small piece of clay left.
- What else do you want to blind, man? God asked.
The man thought: everything seems to be there - arms, legs, head - and said:
- Blind me happiness.
But God, although he saw everything and knew everything, did not know what happiness was. He gave the clay to the man and said:
- Blind your own happiness.
For our success in this matter!

Let's drink to the fact that late at night we were walking down the street and we were attacked by money! But we couldn't fight them off!

Once a young horseman was riding through the mountains of beautiful Georgia with his beautiful wife. He struck strong as a bull, fast as a mountain river, his eyes were like those of an eagle, his dagger was sharp, like an attack of appendicitis, his mind was tortuous, like karakul on a hat ...
And now, on a rock, above the road, a mountain goat appeared. And the horseman at full gallop drew his gun and shot at the animal, but not a single muscle trembled on the goat's muzzle. Then he stopped his horse and, taking aim, fired again, but the goat did not even move. Then the horseman got down to the ground, and kneeling down, fired again, but the goat only jumped aside. And when the horseman wanted to lie down for a shot, the goat had already disappeared. Both the young horseman and his young wife died of hunger.
So let's drink to ensure that such goats do not come across on our life path!

Dear women! I wish you always have four animals: a mink on your shoulders, a jaguar in the garage, a lion in your bed and a donkey that would pay for it all!

Once a camel asks his mother:
- Mom, look at the horse's slim, thin legs, but why do we have such crooked paws?
- But we will pass through the desert, but the horse will not be able to, it will get stuck.
- Mom, look at how smooth the horse's teeth are, but why do we have such crooked and bent teeth, and saliva flows all the time?
- But we can eat thorns in the desert, but the horse cannot.
- Mom, look how smooth and beautiful the back of the horse is, but why do we have such a thing hanging out there?
- But we can survive in the desert for two weeks without water, but a horse cannot.
- Mom, why the hell do we need all this at the zoo?
So let's drink to survive in our zoo!

A girl's weapon is her clothes.
Let's drink to general disarmament.

An eagle flew high in the sky. And the Eagle had a beautiful pearl necklace around his neck. Suddenly, a golden eagle flies out from behind a cloud and says to the Eagle: “Give way to me!”
But the proud Eagle said: “No!” and did not give way. And they began to fight. They fought day and night and no one could win. In the heat of the fight, Berkut accidentally broke the necklace and the pearls scattered all over the Earth...
So let's drink to those Beautiful Pearls that sit here among us!

A turtle swims along the river, a poisonous snake sits on its back. The snake thinks: "I bite - it will drop." The turtle thinks: "I'll drop it - it will bite."
So let's drink to true female friendship, which can overcome any obstacles!

Women are flowers. And the flowers are beautiful when they bloom.
So let's drink to promiscuous women!

A guy comes to the sorcerer and asks:
- Make me a member to the ground.
The sorcerer thought, thought, and made him ten centimeters long legs.
So let's drink to a well-composed technical task!

Let's drink vodka to the generation that chooses Pepsi! Because we get more!

People say: “If you want to make the right decision, consult your wife and do the opposite. I drink to our wives, who give us the opportunity to find the right solution in a difficult situation.

One evening a young woman came to the telegraph office and in a trembling voice asked for a form. She wrote a telegram on one form, tore it up, then on the second - and tore it again. Finally, she wrote a third telegram and handed it to the window, asking her to send it quickly. When the telegram was sent, and the sender went home, the telegraph operator asked about the first two.
Here is what was written in the first:
- Its end. I don't want to see you anymore.
The second had this text:
- Don't try to write and see me anymore.
And the third one was:
- Take the next train immediately. Waiting for an answer.
So let's drink to the constancy of the female character!

Recently I was in France and got into a conversation with a Parisian.
“A good woman,” he said, “is one who has a husband and a lover.
- Is it? I thought it was bad, I said.
- No, the bad one is the one with only a lover.
- I thought it was a fallen one.
- No, the fallen one is the one with no one.
- I thought it was lonely.
- No, a single woman is one who has one husband.
So let's drink, dear friends, to single women!

One wise Georgian said:
If you want to be happy for one day, get drunk.
If you want to be happy for a week, get sick.
If you want to be happy for a month, get married.
If you want to be happy for a year, get a mistress.
If you want to be happy all your life - be healthy, dear!
So let's drink to the happiness of all those present - to health!

Going to war, the king put a chastity belt on his charming wife. Mounting a horse to ride on a campaign, he called his faithful friend and servant to him:
- I give you the key to my most important treasury. If I am killed in the war, you will unfasten the chastity belt my wife wears. And you will do it exactly one year after my death. Only you can I entrust this key, for I do not doubt your honesty and nobility.
Honored with such confidence, the friend and servant bowed to the king, kissed the sovereign hand and took the key. The king had not had time to drive far from the castle, when he heard the clatter of hooves: his faithful friend and servant were catching up with him.
- What happened, my faithful friend? the king asked him.
“Your Majesty, there has been a terrible mistake. You handed me the wrong key!
So let's drink to devoted and true friends!

Some joker got under New Year fur coat and beard of Santa Claus. He dressed up and, rejoicing that he could amuse his wife, rang the doorbell of his apartment. The wife opened it and, before he could utter a word, threw herself on his neck, began to kiss him passionately and carried him into the bedroom. And there, like crazy, she indulged in passionate love with "Santa Claus". Taking advantage of a short respite, the husband threw off the false beard and mustache. And then he heard the voice of his wife, which struck him:
- Well, it's you! I didn't recognize you at all!
So let's raise a toast to real men who know how to arrange a holiday for their wife!

A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is.
And a man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is - this is her real husband.
Let's raise our glasses to real men!

Suliko and Shota lived and fell in love with each other. They fell in love and got married. Just got married, Shota has to go on a business trip.
“Don't worry,” he says to his young wife, “I'll be back in three days.
Three days have passed, three times three days have passed, and Shota does not return, ten times three days have passed, and Shota is still gone.
The young wife became agitated, sent to ten cities ten true friends telegrams. And telegrams came from ten cities from ten true friends:
- Don't worry, Shota is with us!
So let's drink to true friends who do not fail in trouble!

A toad crawled over the rails. A train drove by and cut off her legs. The toad crawled away and thought: “The legs were beautiful, we should return.” As soon as she climbed onto the rail, the train again passed and cut off her head.
So let's drink to not losing our heads because of beautiful legs!