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How to recognize a coward?

The most important sign of a coward man is unwillingness to make decisions. A timid representative of the strong half of humanity is comfortable only when everyone decides for him. Therefore, he definitely will not take the initiative to be introduced to his girlfriend's relatives, is unlikely to ask his boss to raise his salary, and will never refuse to help his friends, even to the detriment of his own interests.

You can also recognize a cowardly man by external signs: he is afraid to stand out from the crowd, so he dresses discreetly; restrained in the manifestation of emotions; avoids looking into the eyes of the interlocutor for a long time; almost never gesticulates; often fiddling with an object in his hands.

Where do male cowards come from?

Psychologists say: cowardice is a character trait. It is usually formed in adolescence when males compete for dominance in a group.

Adolescents who failed to win a high position in the hierarchy, there is a defensive reaction. future man begins to fear open conflict and turns into a social coward. Alas, it is impossible to eradicate cowardice. This is a personality trait that you have to come to terms with. However, if not the most courageous man feels confident, he will be less likely to act like a coward. Loving woman help him in this.

How to be happy with a coward?

In the description of the male coward, did you recognize your admirer or husband? Nothing, and with him you can be happy.

Never call a man a coward, not jokingly, much less in the heat of a quarrel. The words "weakling", "quiet", "loose", etc. are also prohibited. A man should never guess that you consider him a coward. He will never forgive you for this.

Remember: a man expects understanding from a woman, not exposure. Make a list of the virtues of your lover, which compensate for his not the most enviable character trait. Record every little thing. For example, "does not forget to water the cacti when I go on a business trip", "knows who Schopenhauer is." Refresh your notes from time to time.

Avoid situations in which it is difficult for your man to find courage. Your neighbors flood you for the third time in a year? Do not hope that your husband will want to deal with unscrupulous citizens himself. Do not demand the impossible from him. Explain yourself to the unfortunate neighbors yourself. You will kill two birds with one stone: you will solve the problem, and you will save the peace of mind of your loved one.

Do not focus on manifestations of cowardice. You were planning a romantic weekend, but your loved one could not refuse the boss's request to come to work on the day off? Moreover, did you witness how he babbled servilely: "Peter Petrovich, I consider it a blessing to work as much as possible for the benefit of my beloved company"? Make it look like nothing out of the ordinary happened. A man will willingly believe in it and will be grateful to you. And the holiday can be arranged a week later, right?

Praise your chosen one as often as possible, especially in the presence of relatives and friends, but only when there is a reason. Clumsy flattery will alert a man. Try to enjoy the realization that no problem can be solved without your participation. Think how many women dream of being in charge of their husbands. Yes, you're just lucky.

Valeria Protasova

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Let's talk about men's fears and cowardice. What are men afraid of? Do our men have the right to be afraid and show cowardice at all? How to distinguish real cowardice from a wise and calm approach to life? The topic of this article is “is my man a coward”.

Quite often, women's forums create topics about male fears and cowardice: “My boyfriend is a coward!”, “My lover is a coward!”, “My father is a coward!” "My husband is a coward!" In these topics, girls describe situations in which, as they think, their man behaved like a real coward, showed spinelessness, gave in, got scared. And is it really so?

This article proposes to discuss the various situations in which any man may find himself. Let's consider them from different angles and try to figure out where is cowardice, where is wisdom, and where is just indifference. What do we mistake for male cowardice And what is courage? When are men's fears justified?

Coward or tough driver? Situations on the road, when parking and if your beloved lady is driving.

Your man was unexpectedly overtaken or brutally cut off on the road. Should he catch up with the offender and "punish"?

Where do we see cowardice? In this situation, hysteria can be considered a manifestation of cowardice. Hysteria can manifest itself in a crazy driving style, unusual for an adequate state of the driver, loud obscene screams and screams, tears. Obvious manifestations of fear and cowardice are - unrestrained urination, refusal to drive a car completely.

How can you justify? However, this, like stopping for a smoke break, is not considered cowardice if there was a real threat to the life of passengers or the life of the driver himself in a traffic situation. Every person has a fear of death.

Not to be confused with intemperance and aggressiveness! Today, more and more often we hear in the news, read stories on blogs about how someone fired at someone on the road with bats, broke glass, fired at a car, stabbed someone as a punishment for this or that traffic situation. Girls, in no case should you ever take such men for brave heroes. They did not defend their honor! They showed incontinence, unhealthy aggression. Such men, as a rule, go over their heads in life, feel with impunity, achieve a lot, but do it at the expense of other people. Remember! Men who are ready to assert themselves at the expense of the lives and health of other people, in fact, are extremely unsure of their strengths and the value of their own lives and regularly try to prove to themselves that they are not cowards and are worth something in this life.

Should he vacate a “foreign” parking space.

According to the law, if a man really parked on someone else's plot of land, then he should be shown a paper that says that "the place has been bought or rented by some company." If you come to visit and park in someone else's yard and a man is asked to repark the car, and the place is clearly public, then options come up.

Where do we see cowardice? The man apologized and calmly moved.

How can you justify? Perhaps he was not at all afraid, but simply very tired and did not want to get involved in uncomfortable dialogues. The option is different, he was asked to park by his grandfather, a veteran, or a girl with three babies and five packages from Ikea)) Here your man is well done!)

Do not confuse cowardice with prudence. Perhaps a stronger, more authoritative man asked him to give way, and your boyfriend, your husband decided that in this situation it is safer (including for you) to give in, and not get involved in a conflict. Ideally, before leaving, the husband should try to negotiate with the person. Explain that he is here for a couple of hours. If you are not adequate in front of you, and the husband is objectively weaker physically and does not have special connections, then indeed, the decision to leave will be reasonable!

You got into an accident, you have parking problems. Tell your loved one.

You tell your husband, lover, boyfriend about your problem and wait for his reaction. How will a real man? Let's start with the fact that if you called him, it means that you have already informed him about the problem and need support. However, in the hustle and bustle of business, it is difficult to understand what kind of support you need - to calm you down by phone or to come urgently? Say it yourself!

Where do we see cowardice? You got into an accident or an unpleasant situation in the parking lot, ask to come, and he refuses, despite the absence of very important things.

How can you justify? Perhaps you are the type of lady whose broken nail is also a tragedy? Men also get tired of constantly satisfying our whims, even if in general they like this trait in our character. Another option is that you yourself create conflict situations around yourself, you yourself climb on the rampage and are used to the fact that he solves these problems for you. Perhaps only you like this game, and he decided to teach you a lesson and make you solve the problem yourself.

Not to be confused with indifference and busyness. If a man does not come to the rescue - this is a signal. It is worth thinking about how much you are dear to him and whether you care at all. Also, reconsider your attitude to his affairs, what may seem unimportant to you, may be important to him.

Is our man a protector? Situations in which the manifestation of male power is required is to protect the girl from others.

Standard situation on the street. Other men pester you - robbers or just hooligans. There are several of them, your husband is one.

Where do we see cowardice? Cowardice can be considered if your man runs away, leaving you alone to figure it out, or grabs your hand and offers to run away quickly together.

How can you justify? Perhaps he understands that he really can’t cope with them, and the hooligans got aggressive, then running away together is one of the options for a reasonable solution.

Not to be confused with wisdom. When there are really several guys and a man objectively understands that he cannot defeat them, it is also reasonable to: a) try to explain verbally that it is better not to mess with you b) ignore the pestering and move on.

My man is a hero! If the guy nevertheless got involved in the battle with scumbags, realizing that the outcome can be anything - he is either reckless or a hero). Here you need to look at the situation. But sometimes, we girls should think about what is more important for us - to be with a dead hero or a disabled hero, or to be with a reasonable but healthy coward!?

You got into a fight with a woman. Should a man intervene?

Where do we see cowardice? The man has withdrawn from your conflict.

How can you justify? Many men prefer not to get involved in women's showdowns, so as not to come out guilty. This is partly cowardice, and partly wisdom and experience.

Not to be confused with intemperance. He decided to teach the offender a lesson and beat her well or swore obscenely. Now think about the fact that he violated our favorite taboo “not to beat a woman”, maybe he will someday use force against you?

My man is a hero! You can consider your man a hero if he helped to remove from you an insane person who rushed at you with fists. Do not hit, namely, remove! Or take you away from the place conflict situation. Thus, he simply extinguished the conflict and at the same time retained his image of a cultured, calm, self-confident person.

Love and cowardice. When are men afraid of real feelings?

He doesn't say "I love you". Fears?

How can you justify? Perhaps these words have a really VERY great meaning for him. He doesn't waste words. And he will tell you the cherished 3 words before making an offer, when he is completely sure that you are two halves.

Does he not love you? The second and only option is that his feelings for you cannot be called love. Perhaps there is only sympathy between you on his part, or perhaps he does not initially consider any serious relationship between you.

He doesn't want to get married. He is afraid of the stamp in his passport.

How can you justify? Perhaps your man's fears are reinforced by the fact that he has an unsuccessful marriage, a runaway bride, or a bad example of parents behind him. We recommend that you persuade your loved one to contact a psychotherapist for advice.

Not to be confused with cowardice! Some men (especially young ones) are embarrassed by marriage as such, especially if their young friends are still walking around and changing partners. For them, marriage is like Cohabitation- restriction of freedom, not only one's own, but also in the eyes of others. Such cowardice passes with time.

Does he not love you? There is also such an option. A man subconsciously or even already consciously realizes that it is more and more difficult for him to call the feelings between you as love. Perhaps he got bored, "burned out", or maybe he just thinks that it's difficult to live with you. If you are an independent lady and demonstrate it in every possible way, then the man is afraid that he will have to spend his whole life fighting for you and he will not be able to be the master of his fate. Also, pay attention to how calm and comfortable it is to live with you? Do you scandal? Are you good at cooking? Men love comfort and are afraid to lose it.

The main thing girls, do not forget that men are the same people as you and I. Sometimes their fears grow deep from childhood, sometimes they are related to the environment, sometimes they are born in the course of acquiring one or another life experience. Try to support your men, help them fight their fears. Their success is in your hands!

Valeria Protasova

Psychologist with experience practical work in social psychology-pedagogy for more than three years. Psychology is my life, my work, my hobby and way of life. I write what I know. I believe that human relationships are important in all spheres of our life.

Every girl dreams of meeting a knight without fear and reproach. But what if you gave your heart to the "cowardly lion"? Is it possible to be happy with a man from the timid ten? How to Cultivate Courage in an indecisive life partner?.

How to recognize a coward?

The most important sign of a male coward - unwillingness to make decisions.

A timid representative of the strong half of humanity is comfortable only when everything is decided for him. Therefore, he definitely will not take the initiative to be introduced to his girlfriend's relatives, is unlikely to ask his boss to raise his salary, and will never refuse to help his friends, even to the detriment of his own interests.

You can also recognize a cowardly man according to external signs:

• he is afraid to stand out from the crowd, so he dresses discreetly;
• restrained in the manifestation of emotions;
• avoids looking into the eyes of the interlocutor for a long time;
• almost never gesticulates;
• often fiddling with an object in his hands.

Where do male cowards come from?

Psychologists say: cowardice is a character trait. It usually forms during adolescence, when males are fighting for dominance in the group. Adolescents who failed to win a high position in the hierarchy, there is a defensive reaction.

future man begins to fear open conflict and turns into a social coward.

Alas, it is impossible to eradicate cowardice. This is a personality trait that will have to be reconciled with.

However, if not the most courageous man will feel confident, he will be less likely to act like a coward. A loving woman can help him with this.

How to be happy with a coward?

In the description of the male coward, did you recognize your admirer or husband?

• Never call a man a coward not jokingly, much less in the heat of a quarrel. The words “weakling”, “quiet”, “loose”, etc. are also banned. In no case should a man guess that you consider him a coward. He will never forgive you for this. Remember: a man expects from a woman understanding, not exposure.
• Make a list of benefits her lover, who compensate for his not the most enviable character trait. Record every little thing. For example, "does not forget to water the cacti when I go on a business trip", "knows who Schopenhauer is." Refresh your notes from time to time.
• Avoid situations in which it is difficult for your man to find courage. Are you flooded with neighbors for the third time in a year? Do not hope that your husband will want to deal with unscrupulous citizens himself. Do not demand the impossible from him. Talk to your unfortunate neighbors yourself. Kill two birds with one stone: solve the problem, God forbid, and save the peace of mind of your loved one.
• Do not focus on manifestations of cowardice. You were planning a romantic weekend, but your loved one could not refuse the boss's request to come to work on the day off? Moreover, have you witnessed how he babbled servilely: “Petr Petrovich, I consider it a blessing to work as much as possible for the benefit of my beloved company”? Pretend that nothing out of the ordinary happened. A man will willingly believe in it and will be grateful to you. And the holiday can be arranged a week later, right?
• Praise your chosen one as often as possible, especially in the presence of relatives and friends, but only when there is a reason. Clumsy flattery will alert a man.
• Try to have fun from the realization that not a single problem is solved without your participation. Think about how many women dream of ruling over their husbands. Yes, you are just lucky!

To better understand your chosen one and save him from complexes, we also recommend reading the article on the site "". We wish you mutual understanding and harmonious relations!

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I will note right away that I am not a supporter of the division of household duties into male and female. If a young lady doesn’t like, doesn’t know how or doesn’t want to cook, but at the same time she repairs sockets or plumbing quite masterfully, then let her fix sockets and plumbing, and I will cook borscht, no problem. But if my woman tells me: “Vasya, something sparkled and popped there, we seem to be on fire now,” I have to get up and deal with this damn socket. This is my task, because I am a man. And this, by the way, does not mean that I am not afraid. I'm not an electrician, so I'm afraid, yes. But I have no right to remove myself from the problem. I should at least shut down the house and call an electrician. Me. Not her.

I think that everyone understands this, and everyone expects this from a man, of course. This is not a disaster, but a common domestic incident. But it is important to understand that you cannot have a normal relationship with a man who in this situation will say: “I don’t know what to do, call somewhere.” Because life is completely unpredictable. No one knows where you will end up together in a few years. You cannot predict when your car engine will boil on a back road, when something will happen to the wiring in your country house (according to the law of meanness - at 3 o'clock in the morning in New Year) when any household trouble occurs. And I can predict. This will happen exactly when you have nowhere to wait for help. And what will you do then? Well, if you're not the kind of girl who loves fixing outlets?

Therefore, do not waste your time on a coward who offers you to solve these problems on your own. Otherwise, you will be doing this for the rest of your life. And one more thing: sockets, let's be honest, rarely spark. Cranes break through not every day either, shelves fall once every five years, and repairs are an event that happens once every 10 years. And daily household chores are not scary. Don't be afraid to wash the dishes, don't be afraid to take out the trash, don't be afraid to vacuum. How to check if he is a coward, for an hour? Very simple: send it to the pharmacy for pads. If he is scared, because "he's a man!" - He's not a man. He is a coward. Hit him in the neck.

Marriage

This is the situation that does not need to be explained, as it seems to me. If a man lives with you, sleeps in the same bed, invites mutual friends to the house, goes to the damn Ikea with you on weekends, but is not ready to officially marry you, he is a coward.

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If he tells you that he is "not ready yet" - he is deceiving you. The mythical freedom that he allegedly loses in marriage exists only in his head. There is no freedom other than internal. And, if it is, no stamp in the passport will take it away. And if it is not there, this stamp, all the more, will not change anything.

And you understand, I hope, what he's really afraid of: he's afraid of responsibility. For you. And not just afraid, but does not want to take it upon himself. Because the notorious stamp does not change anything in the relationship itself, and even more so in feelings: you lived together and will continue to live, and if you have feelings, official marriage will not strengthen or weaken them. But it will change a lot in terms of responsibility. From now on, a man will have responsibilities that were not there before. He will be obliged to share his property with you. He will be obliged to be responsible for your common children, if they appear. AT civil marriage he, of course, is also obliged to bear responsibility for the children, but, in which case, he can merge, and you will have to prove that the child is really his. And in marriage, you don't have to. And he understands it. And there are many more moments that really loving man takes for granted. A coward does not accept. He does not accept and tries with all his might to avoid official marriage. And I'm ready to bet anything that you, cohabiting with a man, consider yourself his wife.

And he does not consider himself a husband, no. And you must understand this. You must understand that if a man avoids marriage by all means, it means that he is either a coward or a scoundrel. As they say, both are worse.

childbirth

And now we get to the worst part. Not for pregnancy. Not for kids at all. To childbirth. To what you yourself are desperately afraid of. To the point where you really need his help. By the time you need him all, along with all his metaphysical giblets.

I live in the 21st century. I should not lock my wife in a bathhouse with a midwife, but I myself should walk in circles with a pitchfork at the ready, supposedly driving away evil spirits. I should be there. And if I'm scared, I'm not a man.

There is no "mystery of childbirth", and you must understand this. This is a natural physiological process, and there is nothing to worry about. You can google thousands of videos from maternity hospitals in 30 seconds and you can see how everything happens. There is nothing wrong with this. And yes, I want to say terrible: what is natural is not ugly. If your man needs you only in the form of a fairy that poops roses, he doesn’t need you. Yes, childbirth is not a very pleasant process. But if my woman is sick, I will hold her hair and clean the basin after her - although this, I confess, is much more unpleasant than childbirth, in my opinion. If my woman, God forbid, becomes bedridden, I will change her diapers. Why, one wonders, should I be afraid of childbirth while doing this? Actually, she's having my baby. I am his father. What should I be afraid of?

I'll tell you what. Some creatures, for some reason calling themselves men, are afraid for their precious potency. And, which is wild for me, women support them in this: they say, here he will look, and then he will not want me. Oh God!

Young ladies, remember: this does not threaten healthy male potency in any way. Unless, of course, a man has a healthy psyche and he is not a bastard. And I think that if a man refuses partner births He's still a bastard, yes. Because you will never be more defenseless than in this moment. You can have a great midwife, you can choose the best doctor, you can responsibly prepare for childbirth and not be afraid (but not being afraid is unlikely, of course), but you will never again feel as lonely as in childbirth. One of my friends said: “Renal colic is a hundred times more painful than childbirth. And breaking a leg is much more unpleasant. But giving birth is scarier. Because at some point you feel that your body has betrayed you. It's like it's not yours anymore."

Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir dating agency Me and You, interpersonal relationship consultant, family psychologist, notes that in relation to a normal man, a feeling of pity is unacceptable, because it is a flawed feeling. A lady, of course, can feel sorry for the representative of the stronger sex, but only if there is a real reason for this: illness, business failure, loss by a man loved one. In all other situations, this feeling is superfluous. And living with a man out of pity is one of the biggest mistakes a woman can make in her life.

“A woman becomes unhappy because she has to shoulder another male function. Due to the fact that you have to work for two, the lady grows old early, both physically and emotionally, because there are fewer and fewer reasons for joy. Eyes dim, health problems begin. A woman living with is a woman who does not have female happiness, ”says the psychologist.

self-sacrifice

According to the consultant for interpersonal relationships, not all ladies are able to sacrifice themselves to a miserable man, who, as a rule, are weak men. Among them are infantiles, and so on. Most often with weak men women agree to live, whom their parents did not like and did not caress in childhood. Perhaps these are ladies who grew up in single-parent families. Or in families where there were both father and mother, but the girl was brought up in strictness, emotions were stopped: “Don’t cry”, “You must”, “Take care”, “Be patient”. Or when parents demonstrated both in words and actions how difficult it is for them to raise a child. The girl, having accepted the attitude of her own inferiority and sacrifice from childhood, transfers it to adulthood, and lives by the principle to please everyone. Usually such ladies have an exaggerated sense of responsibility, they do not have their own "I" and they are sure that everything will be lost without them. They often explain their relationship with a miserable man in this way: "He will be lost without me."

Dangerous weaklings

Pathetic men, in turn, are very dangerous people. These are egocentrists with a tough character, who also received less love and attention in childhood. They are angry at the whole world, but carefully hide it, preferring not to show aggression, but to put pressure on pity.

“It would be easier if a man showed an open aggressive behavior. Then everything would be clear with him - angry, but he does not hold a stone in his bosom. And in a situation with weak, miserable men, everything is not so simple. They love to intrigue, to suck up here, to flatter here, and at the right moment - with a pebble on the back of the head, ”says Kuznetsova, stating that this type of people is dangerous because they skimp on loved ones, knowing their weaknesses, and at the same time press very painfully.

Women always know what kind of man they live with. Strong - usually make decisions and protect a woman from problems, so that she feels,. Weaklings, as a rule, shift the burden of responsibility and decision-making onto their partner and constantly complain about life.

Even the most serious troubles will not unsettle a strong man, he will not sink to deep drunkenness and endless whining, but will look for a way out of the situation and move on. Weak - begins to panic even with minor troubles.

Useful information

If trouble...

A separate situation is when people have been living together for a long time, and suddenly a man becomes disabled as a result of an accident or an accident. The woman continues to live with him, despite physical injuries. And the husband cannot believe this and is sure that his wife stays with him out of pity. It is impossible to convince him. In this case, Elena Kuznetsova advises showing the man to a specialist. According to her, it is worth contacting a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist, because a psychologist cannot cope with such a serious psychological trauma. We need a thorough treatment and rehabilitation.

If you want to suggest your topics related to interpersonal relationships, write to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected] .