A child aged 10 to 11: learning the rules of the adult world

Parents, take it as a fact that your baby has matured. It is still impossible to call him a full-fledged teenager, but the beginning transition period already set. Children learn the rules of the adult world, motivated by the actions of adults, preparing to join their ranks in just a couple of years.

Physiological development of a child at 10 years old

Girls develop faster than boys both psychologically and physically. At this age, they are almost head and shoulders above their peers. The average height of girls at 10 years old is 130-140 cm, and for boys - 125-135 cm.

A ten-year-old child enters adolescence, and this cannot but affect his body as a whole. In addition to the fact that hormonal restructuring entails sudden mood swings and increased emotionality, it leads to changes in appearance. In boys, the onset of puberty is accompanied by the appearance of pubic and axillary hair, the formation of muscle mass, typical only for men. In girls, the hips are slightly rounded, the chest becomes more pronounced. Some girls have their first period between the ages of 10 and 11.

Unlike boys, for whom change is the reason for shyness and insecurities, girls experience this period more calmly.

Psychological development of a child at 10 years old

This period is different for every child. This is the period of personality formation. In the school team, the child is trying to take his place. He learns and experiences new forms of human relationships, therefore he is in constant mental stress. Among peers, the child becomes either a leader or merges with the rest of the mass. The behavior of a ten-year-old child is characterized by a sharp reaction to criticism and mood swings.

It is important for parents to give the child protection, love, affection and care. A student in the family circle feels safe. Encourage your kids, don't push them too hard. Teach him to be persistent. Encourage, imperceptibly help. At this age, the child studies and analyzes what is read, seen, done or said by parents, learns to look for explanations. Your relationship should develop through dialogue. Listen to his problems. Do not speak arrogantly, communicate with him on an equal footing.

At this age, the child gradually moves away from his parents, giving preference to his peers. It is important not to bind him to yourself by force, but to achieve (or return) authority right behavior and understanding. It is necessary to reduce the level of obsession to the mark of "easy control". To establish contact, joint household chores and sports will be useful.

Quite often, parents are faced with the fact that someone's dad or uncle is the authority for their child. The reason for this phenomenon is the child's fear of being punished for actions or disobedience. Accordingly, adults need to look for the cause in themselves.

Physiology of a child of ten or eleven years

Ten to eleven years is the time preceding. This period flows differently for everyone, for someone it is more or less painless, but for someone this process is psychologically difficult. It is accompanied by both changes in appearance and in character. And it is impossible to do anything here, because you can not argue with nature. Many children are embarrassed by the physiological changes taking place with them, and the task of parents is to prepare the child for those metamorphoses that are about to completely change his body.

Psychology of a child at ten or eleven years old

Psychologically, by the age of ten, a child noticeably matures. He is about to begin to rebel in any of its manifestations. It is very easy to lose authority. It is worth giving some slack somewhere or, conversely, going too far - and that thin psychological thread that connects you with the child will break. The paradox of this age is that a teenager is better influenced by strangers than his own parents. And it is influenced by many, many things.

As a rule, at ten or eleven years old, a child becomes more interesting in the company of peers than in yours. You should not forbid the child to communicate with someone you do not like, criticize friends and generally overexpress negative emotions in relation to those who surround your offspring. You can be sure that everything will be done exactly the opposite - just out of a sense of contradiction. Even if you do not like someone from your child's company, try to calmly tell him about it. The wording “I forbid you to communicate with him” is categorically not suitable. On the contrary, emphasize that you respect his choice, but ask to pay attention to some qualities of character that, in your opinion, do not really correspond to the status of a friend or girlfriend.

10 years is the time or for sports camps. This option (provided that the place where you are going to send your son or daughter, proven and worthy) is close to ideal. In the camp, your child is both independent and supervised. You can combine business with pleasure and send your child to a specialized camp - sports or one that specializes in learning foreign languages.

Tips for Parents of a Ten-Eleven-Year-Old Child

Try to come to terms with the fact that your child is gradually moving away from you, do not try to tie him to you by force. Some degree of control is definitely needed. But it is not worth responding to aggression with aggression. To convince a child who actively asserts his own "I" in anything is possible only through negotiations. Advise, but don't be intrusive. Be persistent, but do not push too hard - the effect will be just the opposite. Come up with some joint activities that will be interesting for both you and your child. It happens that the parents of a friend or girlfriend are more respected by the child than his own. The reasons can be very different: from the personal qualities of other people's parents to the fear that the child experiences in front of his own. At ten or eleven years old, a person is already old enough, and relationships with him largely depend on the ability of those who are older to cooperate.

At what age did your children learn to wash dishes? How about cooking on the stovetop or in the oven? Changing a wheel on a car? Domestic parents are still not inclined to overload their children with household chores: they will grow up and learn, they believe. But in the West they are sounding the alarm, developing algorithms for teaching children the necessary life skills and compiling lists of tasks that a child must cope with at a given age.

It is believed that healthy and healthy children learn all the necessary life skills in a natural way. Another thing is children with developmental disabilities: for them, special training in life skills is necessary. The goal of their parents and specialists working with them is to help them to be able to do everything that guarantees their independent existence in the world. And now we often observe that children with disabilities who have received good care learn life skills (as well as the toughness that comes from failing and trying again) that most of today's "usually developing" kids don't have.

My friend Stacey has two sons, and one of them has visual and hearing impairments. Stacey built the following skill development strategy for her children:

• first we do for the child;
• then we do with him;
• then we watch him do it;
• finally, the child does it entirely on his own.

Stacey's son achieved results that neither doctors nor educators expected at first. This same method of teaching skills can be used with any child, regardless of health or ability. Her second son is developing "typically" (i.e., has no special needs), and yet Stacey and her husband share the same wise approach to raising both children.

The first two steps in Stacey's life-skills method - first doing it for the child and then with them - are pretty easy to do. But point three - watching a child do something - can be a leap into the unknown.

In September 2010, my son Sawyer entered the sixth grade. The day before classes began, he had to register, and everything would have been easy if only two hundred students had turned up. But there were also parents, hundreds of parents, and even younger brothers and sisters. There were two or three times as many people in the slowly creeping line as needed. The sixth-graders themselves clustered with friends and waited for their parents to register for them.

In the middle of the wait, I called Sawyer over to me, made him read the forms, and briefly explained what might happen when he handed them to the person at the table at the head of the line. When we finally got there, I was ready to move on to the third point: instead of standing around and listening to the employee's questions and explanations, I said that I would stand back while my son filed forms and talked. After that, there were a few more stages to go through, another line to get a student card and an annual photo, and I announced to Sawyer that he had to figure it all out himself.

Everything went well. Already at home, I scolded myself for going there at all. If sixth grade seems so important to personally enroll a student, and the stakes are only going up, am I signing up to play that role for the rest of my life?

When raising a second child, we often begin to devote more time to ourselves. It becomes easier for us to let go - faster to move on to the second, third and fourth points. This was the case with our youngest daughter, Avery. The evening before the registration of the sixth graders, we talked everything over at home, and she felt that she could handle it, so she went there alone (item number four). She - and I - did just fine.

We have neighbors, Lori and Eric. They have four children aged 10 to 16, the eldest of whom, Zachary, is a friend of Sawyer's. This family is way ahead of my husband and me in terms of teaching life skills to our children. A few years ago, when Zachary came to visit us, he said that he and all the other children in his family should make their own breakfast in the morning, and then pack the school lunch box.

I almost dropped my coffee cup. It can't be that the youngest - then he was five years old - are forced to do such things! I was wrong. As Laurie, Zachary's mother, later explained to me, starting at the age of four, the children had to cook their own breakfast. Thanks to this, she and her husband freed up time for charging, showering and preparing for the upcoming day.

I just couldn't imagine it. How will the baby reach the food? Zachary casually replied: "The dry breakfast is in the bottom cupboard, the plates and cups are in the same place, and the milk is on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. When I was little, my parents showed me everything, and my brother and sisters already learned from me." He spoke with pride about what he must - and knows how - to do on his own. With pride and confidence. And my own children were rather glad that adults prepare, decide and do everything for them.

What a child from 2 to 18 years old should be able to do

What exactly do parents do for their children instead of demanding independence? What are the necessary life skills?

It is possible that after reading the list below, you will be horrified. I myself, looking back on the years of raising my children, Sawyer and Avery, see that my husband and I did too much for them, instead of allowing them to enjoy more and more independence. I admit, it’s often easier to do something on my own, and we also liked helping them.

The children were about ten when we realized the fallacy of our approach, and for some time we had to listen to their reasoning. “Why do you demand this from us?” the children asked. “If these are such important things, why didn’t we do this before?”

Two to three years: small responsibilities and basic self-care. This is the age when the child will begin to master basic life skills. By age three, your child should be able to:

• help clean up toys
• dress independently (with some help from an adult);
• put clothes in a basket when undressed;
• clean the plate after eating;
• help set the table;
• brush your teeth and wash your face with the help of an adult.

Four to five years old: Names and numbers are important. When a child reaches this age, safety skills are at the top of the priority list. The child should know:

• your full name, address and telephone number;
• how to call emergency services.

He must also be able to:

• perform simple cleaning tasks, such as dusting accessible areas and clearing tables;
• feed pets;
• find out the denominations of coins and paper money and at the simplest level understand how to use money;
• brush your teeth, comb your hair and wash your face without assistance;
• help wash clothes, such as bringing them to the laundry room;
• choose what clothes to wear.

From six to seven years: the simplest methods of cooking. Children at this age can begin to help cook and should learn to:

• mix, shake and cut with a dull knife;
• prepare simple meals, such as making sandwiches;
• help clean up food
• wash the dishes;
• safe to use simple cleaning products;
• tidy up the toilet after use;
• make the bed without outside help;
• wash without supervision.

Eight to nine years old: Pride in your belongings. By this time, the child should appreciate their belongings and properly care for them. It means:

• fold clothes;
• master simple tricks sewing;
• take care of the street toys such as cycling or rollerblading.

And besides:

• without a reminder to monitor personal hygiene;
• use a broom and a scoop correctly;
• be able to read recipes and cook simple meals;
• help to make a list of necessary products;
• count and give change;
• help with simple gardening tasks, such as watering and weeding;
• taking out the trash.

Ages 10 to 13: Independence. Around the age of ten, a child can begin to do a lot of things on their own. He must be able to:

• stay at home alone;
• go to the store and do their own shopping;
• change sheets;
• use the dishwasher and dryer;
• plan and prepare meals with multiple ingredients;
• fry and bake in the oven;
• read labels;
• iron;
• learn to use basic tools;
• mow the lawn and clean the yard;
• look after younger brothers, sisters, neighborhood kids.

14 to 18 years old: mastering complex skills. By the age of fourteen, the child should master all of the above very well. In addition, he must be able to:

• perform more complex cleaning and maintenance tasks, such as changing the bag in the vacuum cleaner, cleaning the oven and unclogging the drain;
• refuel the car with gasoline, inflate tires, change the wheel;
• read and understand drug labels and dosages;
• to pass an interview and get a job;
• prepare food and prepare meals.

Youth: preparation for independent life. Young people should be able to take care of themselves after entering a university or moving. To do this, you need to master quite, including:

• regularly visit a doctor and dentist, go to other procedures important for health;
• have a basic understanding of finance, be able to manage a bank account, pay bills and use a credit card;
• understand simple contracts, such as renting an apartment or a car;
• Schedule oil changes and basic vehicle maintenance.

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10 is the first two-digit age of the child. 10 is a certain threshold beyond which your child begins to feel more independent and self-sufficient. But is the child ready for his ten candles on the cake? Psychologist Artem Polyarin compiled a list of things that a child should know and be able to do by this age.

Photo source: pixabay.com

Dress independently and know the rules of hygiene

A 10-year-old child not only washes himself, but also bathes. And he must learn to dress and undress, let's face it, much earlier. Your child is already an adult, and he can take care of himself.

Understand how his body changes

Today there is a lot of useful literature and articles on this topic on the Internet. While conservative mothers and grandmothers will gasp and groan, their beloved child will learn the basics of sex education from classmates or guys in the yard. And most likely, in a perverted form. He must understand that he is growing and his body is growing with him. And of course, be aware that girls and boys are all arranged differently.

Know how to cook an elementary breakfast or warm up lunch

I can assure too sensitive mothers that at the age of 10, a child cannot burn down an apartment and cut himself with a knife, cutting off his own bread and spreading it with butter. Well, for too suspicious persons came up with microwaves. Not being able to get a plate out of the refrigerator and put it in the microwave oven at the age of 10 is simply ridiculous.

Know your address and know the way home

If a child at the age of 10 cannot remember the way home, then this should cause alarm. Naturally, this does not apply to those cases when you have just moved to a new place. Even one-and-a-half-year-old babies confidently stomp two steps ahead of their mother, who pushes their stroller home from the nearest park. Because they know where they live. So even at 10 years old, it's possible.

Understand that money does not fall from heaven

Children should understand that going to work is hard work, not easy and exciting fun. To let the child feel the value of money, invite him to go to the store with you, having previously compiled a shopping list. Be sure to bring a limited amount of funds with you.

Know how to solve your problems

At the age of 10, running to mom and dad for every slightest reason is simply unacceptable. Teach your child to feel the edge and understand when the situation is urgent, and when he can solve his problem himself. It's difficult, but it's necessary.

Photo source: pixabay.com

Understand that there are bad people in the world

It's just fine if the child is loved and has many friends. But at the age of 10, both boys and girls should be aware that not all people are kind and good. Among them there are villains, scoundrels and even criminals. Your kids need to know about this.

Know how to manage your time

Help your child with this. Make a daily routine with your son or daughter. Let the child be sure to take part in this. He should value his time and be organized. This schedule should include time for both play and entertainment. But they shouldn't be prioritised.

Respect other people and yourself

This is a truly complex art, which, perhaps, not all adults have mastered. But respect is one of the foundations of any family and a civilized society as a whole. How to teach this to a child? Be him good friend and provide assistance when needed. Cultivate respect in the family, do not argue or swear in front of the child with your parents and partner. Otherwise, all your efforts will go down the drain.

Understand that he is very much loved

How to implement it? Prove it every day with your actions. Not expensive gifts but with attention, support and care. And, of course, the simple but sweetest words "I love you."

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