- What is this?
-You need some toast.
- Yes.
- A toast without wine is the same as the wedding night without a bride.
- No, I don’t drink.
- Do I drink? What's there to drink?

Life, as they say, is good!
- A good life is even better!

- You misunderstood me. I don't drink at all. Do you understand? I don't have the physical ability.
- This is the first toast on this occasion.

My great-grandfather says: I want to buy a house, but I don’t have the opportunity.
I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire.
So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities.

- Well done.
- So.
- Listen to another toast.
- So…

And when the whole flock flew south for the winter,
one small but proud bird said: “Personally, I will fly straight into the sun.”
She began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge.

So let's drink so that none of us, no matter how high he flies,
I would never break away from the team.

- What happened dear?
- What, what is it, dear?
- I feel sorry for the bird!

And the princess hung herself with her own braid out of anger, because he
I accurately counted how many grains are in the bag, how many drops are in the sea, and how many stars are in the sky.
So let's drink to the cybernetics!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

...................................................................................................................................................................................

Keep in mind, Edik, only Allah knows where the spark goes from this unworthy degenerate in the glorious family of internal combustion engines.
May his carburetor dry up forever and ever!

Captive of the Caucasus, or New Adventures of Shurik. This is the first toast on this occasion...

Purpose of visit?
- Ethnographic expedition.
- It's clear. Are you looking for oil?
- Not really. I'm looking for folklore. I will write down old fairy tales, legends, toasts with you.

What is this?
- You need some toast.
- Yes.
- A toast without wine is like a wedding night without a bride.

No, I don't drink.
- Do I drink? What's there to drink?
- You misunderstood me. I don't drink at all. Do you understand? I don't have the physical ability.
- This is the first toast about this.

My great-grandfather said: I want to buy a house, but I don’t have the opportunity...
I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire.
So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities.

And so, when the whole flock flew south for the winter, one small but proud bird said: “Personally, I will fly straight into the sun.”
She began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge.
So let’s drink so that none of us, no matter how high he flies, will ever be separated from the team.

What happened dear?
- What, what is it, dear?
- I feel sorry for the bird!

Wait... A hunch struck me. You are drunk?
No, what are you talking about! When I'm drunk, I'm violent. Here... And now I'm quiet.
I'm lucky.

Joke. This is here...

And the princess hanged herself from anger on her own spit, because he accurately counted how many grains were in the bag, how many drops in the sea, and how many stars in the sky. So let's drink to the cybernetics!

This is a student, a Komsomol member, an athlete, and finally, she is simply beautiful!

Just a minute... Please slow down, I'm recording.

And then, at the ruins of the chapel...
- Excuse me, did I destroy the chapel too?
- No, it was before you, in the 14th century.

A violator is not a violator, but a major scientific worker, a person of intellectual labor. You came to visit us, right? Collect our fairy tales, legends there, you know, toasts...
- Toast?
- Toasts, yes, toasts.
And he didn’t calculate his strength, right?

I brought toast.
- Bad, huh? Well...What can you do, listen?
- You asked for 3 copies...

Life, as they say, is good!
- A good life is even better!
- Exactly!

You are speaking apolitically, honestly. You don't understand the political situation.
You see life from the window of my car.
25 rams! When our district... did not fully pay the state for wool.
- Don’t confuse your personal wool with the state one!

So that's it. The groom agrees, the relatives too, but the bride...
- We still educate our youth poorly. Very bad.
Surprisingly frivolous attitude towards marriage.

This is not Lezginka, but a twist. I'll show you everything from the beginning.
With the toe of your right foot you crush the cigarette butt, like this.
You crush the second cigarette butt with the toe of your left foot.
And now you crush both cigarette butts together.

By the way, in a nearby area, a groom kidnapped a party member.

A! There are two of them...
- And this one, with a tail.
- Donkey doesn't count. The second one is extra.
- Witness.
- What if... Cough...
- Only without casualties.
- Yes, we have to wait.
- That's right, we'll wait. Give it up.

You have not justified the high level of trust placed in you.
- It's impossible to work.
- You are giving unrealistic plans.
- What's his name? Voluntarism!
- In my house - do not express yourself!

Whose shoe? ABOUT! My. Thank you.

Bambarbia! Kergudu.
- What did he say?
- He says that if you refuse, they will kill you. Joke.

What are you loading?
- The bride was kidnapped, comrade sergeant major.
- Joker! If you're going to barbecue with this bride, don't forget to invite him.

There will be no wedding! I stole it, I will return it!

Dear guests, welcome.
- Tell me, Marim, is your prosecutor?
- Everyone is with us, the whole city is with us, they were just waiting for you. Wine to dear guests!

Eh, no, no need to rush, no need to rush. This is our guest.
It is important to cure. It is important to return a full-fledged person to society, right?
There's no need to rush.

And now he is in a state of catatonic excitement and demands that you accept him immediately.
- Requires - we will accept.

Go, go. We will cure you. Alcoholics are our profile.

Take off your hat.
- What?
- Take off your hat.

Listen, it’s offensive, I swear, it’s offensive, well, I didn’t do anything, yes, I just walked in.

There is an epidemic in the area. Universal Vaccination Plan Announced

In short, Sklikhasovsky!

Calm down, lie down, lie down. Otherwise - "memento sea".
- Instantly...
- In the sea!

You have no right! You have no right! This is lynching! I demand that I be tried according to our Soviet laws.
- Did you buy it according to Soviet laws? Or maybe, according to Soviet laws, you stole it?

Let's stop this useless discussion.

Get up! The trial is coming!
- Long live our court - the most humane court in the world!

Even in ancient times, philosophers asked themselves the question: “What is the truth of life?” And they didn’t find an answer. We agree with the poets who believed that “truth is in wine.”
Who among us doesn't like to get together with best friends to chat and have a glass of good wine?! Surely no one will refuse. That's all best ideas originate precisely in a friendly conversation. And who knows - maybe wine is the reason.
Giving a toast is almost the same as wishing “Bon appetit” to people who are having lunch. This is a manifestation of respect for those gathered, one might say - the norm of etiquette. Toasts are a unique part of the culture of feasting, allowing people to “think soberly” and not get drunk quickly, since making toasts requires time and attention.
Toasts ennoble the feast and draw the line between so-called drinking and celebration.
There is a whole group of toasts, the purpose of which is to follow etiquette norms: to thank hospitable hosts, to remember those who are not there. festive table, respect your parents. These are generally accepted sayings, without which not a single feast is complete. Violating these traditions is considered bad manners.

In addition, toasts allow you to direct the course of the table theme in the right direction. In this regard, toast can be compared to seasoning dishes, because toast improves the taste of wine and makes the evening more interesting.
Friendly wishes to those gathered are often presented in a humorous form. In this regard, toasts are similar to fables, as they are often instructive.
Caucasian toasts are considered the most ancient and interesting. They came to Russia along with Caucasian wine.
Initially, toasts were credited with magical powers: wine was brought to temples, where people said prayers, talked about their desires, and then drank the wine. It is from those ancient times that people have believed that after a toast you cannot put a glass on the table, you must drink it, then your wish will come true.
Good toast never gets old - it’s like wine: time passes, but it gets even better e.

For a Caucasian man, a woman can have seven ages: newborn, child, girl, young woman, young woman, young woman and young woman.

So let's drink to the last four ages, from which not a single woman has ever emerged and will ever emerge!

A long time ago, such a custom existed in the Caucasus. The girl, before getting married, had to tame a mountain ram. She took an armful of fresh grass with her and climbed high into the mountains early in the morning. If she managed to see a mountain sheep, she would reveal her presence and throw grass to it, while she herself would move away. This went on for some time. Ultimately, the ram got used to the girl and, having eaten the grass brought to him, lay down at her feet and dozed blissfully.
Only after this, when the girl managed to tame the proud freedom-loving animal, could she get married. After all, inside every Caucasian man lives an untamed mountain sheep.

So let's drink to the women so that they can tame us!

Have you ever been to the mountains at night? No?! Eh, my friends, you have lost a lot. There is nothing more beautiful than the starry sky over the Caucasus mountains! Mountaineers have been contemplating the stars since childhood, and therefore are able to appreciate their beauty like no one else. This is probably why in every woman a Caucasian man sees a star that has fallen from the sky, because the beauty of a woman can only be compared with the shine of a star, so distant and so close.

So let's drink to the women, thanks to whom you and I can live among the stars!

I have seven friends: one is smart, the second is kind, the third is brave, the fourth is fair, the fifth is cheerful, the sixth is reliable, the seventh is honest. And when they tell me that I am both kind and smart, in general a storehouse of all positive qualities, then I say that this is how my wonderful friends influence me - they bring my modest virtues to the light of day and complement them with their best qualities.

Here's to the best friends in the world!

Once upon a time there were two people: one was poor and the other was rich. The poor man loved friends and guests, and his home was always fun. But the rich man was only thinking about how to increase his pile of money, so he didn’t invite guests and didn’t have fun. When their earthly existence ended and their souls went to heaven, God, meeting them, said to the poor man: “You lived like a righteous man, your place is in heaven.” And he said to the rich man: “You have no place in heaven. You lived stupidly and sinfully."

I propose to drink so that we can have money like a rich man, and have guests and friends like a poor man!

One a wise man noted: “A woman in love loves most, a wife loves best, but a mother loves us the longest.”

So let's drink to the longest and boundless love of our mothers, who always waited for us and forgave us! After all, a person cannot be educated and subjugated only with the help of severity, but maternal kindness does wonders, subduing both a rebellious will and a zealous heart.

Gogi comes to the ophthalmologist and complains about his vision:
- Genatsvali, help! I don’t know what happened to my eyes: sometimes I see, sometimes I can’t discern anything at all before my eyes. Just check, otherwise I’ll suddenly go blind, how can I look at my beautiful wife and admire our angelic children?
The doctor checked his vision, which turned out to be in perfect order and said in bewilderment:
- Gogi, dear, everything is fine with you! Your vision is simply excellent, like that of an eagle. And in the table you see all the lines, even the very last one, I don’t understand anything - what should you complain about?
- Dear, I see all the lines, but what I don’t see is my money! Well, I just can’t see them, no matter how hard I try.
- It’s strange, you, Gogi, probably have a very rare disease that no one has ever heard of. Gogi, you are a phenomenon! How long have you been experiencing these symptoms?
- Yes, about five years, probably.
- Wow! Yes, you have an advanced disease! Do you remember exactly when this started for you?
- How can I not remember - from the wedding!

So let's drink to our fathers - breadwinners and breadwinners, and to mothers who take care of the family budget! Let’s also drink to ensure that nothing affects the visual acuity of our dear and wise parents!

One fisherman says to another:
- Imagine, Gogi, today I dreamed that I was sitting on the banks of the Kura River with Sophia Loren. It's warm, the birds are singing...
- What's next?
- Eh, it’s a shame, yes! Neither she nor I had a bite...

IN let's drink behind beautiful women, which do not allow us to fish in peace... Well, even if they do not allow us to fish... But they make our vacation unforgettable!

They asked a Frenchman, an American and a Georgian: “What do you see as the meaning of life?” The Frenchman replied that he was in love. An American is about money. And the Georgian said that the meaning of life is to drink wine with your genatsvale.

So let's drink to the fact that we think as often as possible like that Georgian.

Georgia. It's one o'clock in the morning. Knock on the gate.
- Who's there?
- It's me, your friend - Gogia.
- Tell me the password!
- “Password”!
- Come in!

So let’s drink so that our friends will not be afraid to come to us with or without reason, either at one in the morning or at two... For your hospitality!

Materials used: " Caucasian toasts" Zapivalin Oleg

Awl, soap, reel, let's drink to some luck!

Let those who didn’t get us cry, let those who didn’t want us die.

Well, shall we rubbish? It brings us so close!

Let's fill the glasses to the brim. Reason, God be with you.

One smart person said: Nothing shortens our lives more... than the distance between toasts.
So let's drink to living as long as possible!

So let's have a drink here -
In the next world they won’t give it!
Well, if they give it there,
Let's drink there and drink there!

May the salad rest in peace.

Let's drink to us beautiful ones,
and whoever saw better, let him climb out!

Every glass we drink is a nail driven into our coffin.
Let us drink so that this coffin does not fall apart!

I want to propose a toast to the fact that this table will never become scanty, that it will burst and even sag from the weight of dishes and drinks, and that cheerful and happy people will sit around!

And the dirt will seem to you like a fairy-tale landscape when C2H5OH is splashing in your stomach.
And the skull is full of jokes, and the thoughts are a mess when C2H5OH flows down the throat.

(First toast at the party) Happy intoxication to you!!!

Between the first and second...
Pour another one!

Between the first and second...
You can drink six more!

For those who don't spend the night at home!

Drink as you wish - little by little or a lot,
but so as not to forget the way to the house!

Let's drink to those men who can stand up for themselves and lie down for others!

He who lies does not fall. The one who runs falls. Let's drink to those running!

Let's drink to honest and modest people! Moreover, there are so few of us left...

First toast: Goodbye! We won't see you sober today!

Let's drink to MOOSE!
So that you want, you can, you get rich, you fucking moose, for the moose!

I wish you a lot of money, a lot of love and a lot of time to enjoy it!

It is said solemnly:
Happy intoxication, comrades!

God gave a day for drinking, no one knows what kind of day it is. So let’s drink it every day so we don’t miss it!

There is sadness in the heart, stagnation in the brain... isn’t it time to go one at a time?

The wine in the glass should be drunk while it is playing.
As long as you live, you have to live, there are no two lives...

Let's drink to the kiss that a man invented to shut a woman's mouth.

Let's drink to it now!

Let's drink to those on board. Those who are overboard will get drunk themselves.

Let's drink to the fact that wine and vodka bottles will become more expensive tomorrow!

Let's drink to me becoming a speculator!

Let the life-giving moisture spill over the periphery of the body. Amen

Let's drink to someone who doesn't drink and doesn't give it to people: to our valiant traffic policeman.

Let's drink to the fact that no matter what we drink at any cost.

A girl, crossing a stream, lifts her dress to her knees. So let's drink to the women crossing the seas and oceans.

The day was not wasted. So let's have a drink so that the evening too...

Children are flowers of life. So let's give these flowers to beautiful girls!

Friends, my discovery: Our world is not so bad, Because it contains vodka - C2H5OH!

Another stack and press the buttons!

Thirst is not a serious illness, but it also needs to be cured.

Women are flowers! And flowers are beautiful when they bloom. So let's drink to loose women.

There lived a dragon. And he ate only virgins. So let's drink to him flying to us. and died of hunger.

For your health and for our wealth.

For everything that is on our table and for the fact that it still stands! And all this is worth drinking for!

Life is a constant overcoming of time, space, circumstances, obstacles, negativity.
Let's drink to the moments when life not only offers no resistance, but also smiles charmingly!

Well, reason, goodbye! Will see you tomorrow!

Let everything pass by, except intimacy!

The composition of the wishes is always the same: more health and banknotes!

Let's drink so that we have everything and we don't have to pay anything for it!

The shortest army toast:
Bottom! One, two!

It is well known that a person can forever look at three things: how the fire burns, how the water flows and how another person works.
So let's not always look at our full glasses and drink...

Everything we do with our hands is bad, so let’s drink to the children!

So that you can eat and drink, so that you want and can, so that everywhere and everywhere there is someone, and there is where!

For us, the beautiful ones. For you, the gullible.

Let's drink to the fact that we were going, money attacked us and we couldn't fight them off!

For the success of our hopeless cause!

My toast is this - let's drink to our men!

When you drink, you need to know when to stop. Otherwise, you can drink less.
So let’s drink one more to quickly get closer to the specified measure!

Attractive women are distracting.
So let's take a break from drinking glasses, at least for a while... Here's to the ladies!

Here's to her - good luck! And for him - for success!

So that life doesn’t go in vain, let’s overturn the stopper!

Let's drink to business and sex, which in Russian means: to success in business and happiness in your personal life!

We are born with a cry and die with a groan.
So let's drink so that our lives can pass with laughter!

Meet me under the table!

Sea toast: We'll drink the battleship away, but we won't disgrace the fleet!

Let's drink to our wives and mistresses so that they never meet!

If a woman is flowers, and a man is water, then let’s drink to the flowers changing their water more often!

The new month is shining, isn’t it time for a second one?

Let the sea of ​​our worries not dissolve the streams of our joys!

Drinking - fight! So let's have a drink before the fight!

Let's drink glasses for full pockets!

I wish you happiness and health in your personal life.

After pouring vodka:
- So that this abomination becomes a lake and you walk past it to work.

Life, after all, is sweeter than wine. Let's drink to the bottom!

May your years be long, but never seem like this to you!

Vodka is an abomination, vodka is poison! But a hundred grams won't hurt!

African toast: let's drink to the women in whose shadow we feel good!

Let's drink so that we have as much grief left as there are drops left in our glasses.

For... I wanted it!

We’ve been sitting for a long time, maybe we’ll give in a little?

For the health of those gates from which all the people come!

May your poorest table be the same as it is today!

We're here for a drink.
So let's drink to the fact that we have gathered here!

Let's drink to the slow flow of fast-flowing life!

To have something to wear and someone to undress in front of!

Let's drink to the ladies, because I won't give - it's a bad word.

In order not to sour, you need to ferment!

For those who don't spend the night at home!

Now I’ll finish my drink, madam, and I’ll be at your feet.

Life is beautiful, amazing, if you drink first.

So that everything stands, except the heart!

Drink seven times - take a piss once!
So, the countdown has begun... on the first! (etc.)

Drinking a lot is harmful, and drinking a little is boring.

There is sadness in the heart, stagnation in the brain, isn’t it time to go one at a time?

The truth is in the wine, and the bitter truth is in the vodka.

For those who are at sea, on the border and in the venereal hospital.

The soul asks for pineapples in champagne, the body demands vodka...

Better late than missed!

I want to drink to see no evil, hear no evil, remember no evil and do no evil!

Let's drink to those who speak well of us even without us!

Life is a short child's shirt, all crap. Let's drink to those days when we manage to wash it.

Here's to making your dreams come true!

To give your heart a boost, you need to drink cognac!

I wish you good luck and a dacha by the sea!

For the ladies. For the horses. And for those who climb on them!

I wish you happiness, health and creative Uzbeks.

He said let's go and washed it down with water!

Long live reason, let insanity perish!

For living as long as you want, and wanting to live as long as you want.

Vodka is our enemy - it must be destroyed!!!

Let's drink not for the sake of drunkenness, but so as not to get out of the habit.

I could drink more, but I'll drink to the bottom!

A girl's weapon is her clothes. Let's drink to general disarray.

I propose to drink to the health of those who still have it.

I love salad, I love potatoes, let's have a little drink!

Linden trees are blooming in the park - this is a reason to have a drink!

Let's raise our glasses and slide them into our minds!

Let's drink so that sometimes we get some gingerbread.

Let's drink to vodka and size 92 asses!

Let the beer be cold, and let us be warm!

When there are glasses and the wine is poured, there is only one direction - Drink - Pour!

Drink like us, drink with us, drink more than us, drink faster than us!

Let's drink to you and me - to hell with them!

I have one weakness: I can’t help but drink to women at the table!

So that everyone will always be there!

For you to always feel like a king on the throne!

We wish you to always be on horseback!

For there to be no tears or deception in the eyes of our loved ones!

Let's drink to those who, while absent, are invisibly present here!

Let's drink so that our friends go to banquets, and our enemies go on crutches!

Let's drink to die calmly, in a dream, like my grandfather, and not in fear and with screams of horror... like his passengers!

So that tables break from abundance, and beds from love!

Let us be good together... and not too bad apart.

And how people drink vodka every other day, here every day you won’t get used to it.

I drink to a fresh shirt, a clear conscience and a shilling in my pocket.

For the victory of all victories - for victory over yourself!

Let our children have rich parents!

For vodka, snacks, music and intimate conversations!

Something, brothers, is missing. Maybe a drink wouldn't hurt?

So that never, when not necessary!

Our arms and legs began to feel chilly - isn’t it time for us to shake things up!?

Let's drink to the fun and divine feeling of spiritual kinship this evening!

For never falling into the sin of despondency and enjoying every day!

Not complicated, even very simple
Half-forgotten old toast:
Let it be with us again and again
HOPE, FAITH AND LOVE!

Be healthy for a hundred centuries!

And what am I talking about? Isn't it time for us to lay down? It's time!

I raise glass after glass... I want the glass to become a huge Baikal.

We wish every woman to have a caring male hand, something she could lean on!

How do I feel now? Mild intoxication and dizziness. And the reasons are the wreath of roses and lilies that we found here! For women!

Let's commit a “disaster” for the health of our wives!

How many hairs are on my head, I wish you so much happiness and strength!

It's time to have a drink! Good morning! For all the guests, for all of us!

God willing, not the last! And if it’s the latter, then God forbid!

Share good, but remember no evil!

Let your mind be kind and your heart be smart!

Don’t complain about your fate: after all, we will die anyway. Appreciate this moment: drink good wine!

There are two ways to drink: drink without thinking and drink without thinking. Let's drink without hesitation!

There are bottles on the table, a herring on the table. Why don't we have a shot glass with the appetizer?

Let's have a glass, friends, for us and the joy of being!

Walk, lads, from the ruble and above, and let the sea rage!

May our lives never be wormwood and tumbleweeds!

I wish those present a light heart and a heavy pocket!

I propose to raise a glass to... our relics! Let them be royal!

Fir-trees and needles, shouldn't we have a glass?!

Let's bring our glasses together, raise them together, long live the muses, long live the mind!

Gloomy and lethargic, we sit tired. To revive the soul, you need to pour a glass!

So that there is something to pour and not damage the insides!

For those saints and gods who protect us!

It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick!

Better late than no one!

Go away - evil spirits, stay - pure alcohol!

Let the evening be wet and the morning dry. I drink to a cheerful feast and a slight hangover.

May we go through life cheerful and rosy!

Let there be more pies and donuts in our lives, and fewer bruises and bumps!

I am glad to see you in my home, friends. Let wine and fellowship warm our hearts. Let's pour witchcraft into the crystal darkness of the glass and enjoy life and each other!

The husband says to his wife:
- I invited my companions to dinner. Prepare something.
“Okay, dear,” the wife answers, “but how to cook it?” So that they come to us again, or so that... they don’t come again?
I propose to drink to the host and hostess! For the owner, because he gave his wife a good attitude! For the hostess, because she masterfully implemented it!

In almost every company there comes a moment when the owners are ready to utter a sacramental phrase:
- Dear guests, aren’t you tired of your hosts?!..
One owner was even forced to address the overstaying guests with the following speech:
- Guest - this is wonderful! Guest is great! A person needs a guest like he needs air! But when air comes in and doesn’t come out, a person suffocates!
So that our hospitable hosts do not suffocate, I propose to disperse in an amicable way!

My great-grandfather said: “I have a desire to buy a house, but I don’t have the opportunity.
I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire.”
So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities.

At a driving school in Georgia, a driver's license applicant takes an exam. The inspector explains the traffic situation:
- You are driving in a car along a narrow road. On the left is the high-high mountain. On the right is a steep, steep abbreviation. Suddenly there is a beautiful girl on the road. And next to her is a terrible, terrible old woman. Who are you going to push?
- Of course, the old woman!
- Fool!.. You need to apply the brake!
So let's drink so that in a difficult situation we don't forget to hit the brakes!

On the beach, a girl asks her mother: “Mommy, why are the aunties’ swimsuits smooth, and the uncles’ swimsuits protruding?” The mother was embarrassed, wanted to spank the girl, but then she said with a serious look: “And the uncles, daughter, put money there.”
I propose a toast to rich wallets!

...and then one small but very proud bird said:
- Personally, I will fly straight to the Sun!
And she began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge!
So let’s drink so that each of us, no matter how high he rises, will never tear himself away from the team!

One Georgian tells a friend:
- Understand! I visited the doctor, and he told me: “You can’t drink! No smoking! You can’t do it with women!”
- Poor guy! - a friend sympathizes.
- What kind of poor thing am I? I gave him money... and he gave me permission to do everything!
Let's drink to the rich people!

Let's drink to those men who can stand up for themselves and lie down for others!

He who lies does not fall. The one who runs falls. Let's drink to those running!

One night I was walking through the park, the moon, the stars, and a guy and a girl were kissing on a bench. I go another time: the moon, the stars... and the same guy on the same bench kisses another girl. I go next time: night, moon, stars... and the same guy, on the same bench, already with a third girl.
So let's drink to the constancy of men and the fickleness of women!

One day, a swallow with her little chicks was fleeing from predators and found herself on the edge of a deep mountain gorge. And the first chick began to ask:
- Mommy, bear with me, and I will always love you!
- You're lying! - said the swallow and threw him into the abyss.
- Mom, move me, and someday I will save you too! - said the second chick.
- You're lying! - said the swallow and also threw him into the abyss. And the third chick said:
- Mom, save me, and when I grow up, I will also save my children!
“But you’re telling the truth,” said the swallow and saved him.
So let's drink to the bitter truth!

Old man stood at a bus stop, a young man approached him and asked: “What time is it?” The man did not react to this. The guy repeated his question. Silence again. Cursing loudly, the stranger left.
A man standing next to him asked displeasedly:
- Well, what a manner, why didn’t you answer? young man?
- I'll tell you why. Here I am standing here by myself, waiting for the bus. A guy comes up to me and wants to know the time. Let's say I answer. Then we can start a conversation, and he will suggest: “Let’s have a glass.” Then we'll have one and another. Then I will offer him a snack, and we will go to my house and fry sausage and eggs in the kitchen. At this time my daughter will come in and he will fall in love with her and she with him. After some time they will get married. But why have a son-in-law who cannot buy himself a watch?
So let's drink to the men who can buy everything they need!

They say that a streak of bad luck sometimes turns out to be a winning streak.
So let's drink to our joyful prospects on the runway!

Let's drink to honest and modest people! Moreover, there are so few of us left...

Don't drink water if you can drink wine!
Don't drink wine if you can drink good wine!
Don't drink good wine when you can drink very good wine!
And most importantly, don’t forget to drink so that you always have money for something better!

Women are divided into three categories - “I will give”, “I will not give”, and “I will give, but not to you”.
So let's drink to the ladies!

Let's drink to the fact that you live for 132 years.
And so that you die at 132 years old.
And he just died, but he was killed.
And they didn’t just kill, but stabbed to death.
And they didn’t just kill him, but out of jealousy.
And not just out of jealousy, but to the cause!

So let's have a drink here
In the next world they won’t give it!
Well, if they give it there -
Let's drink there and drink there!

Friends! Let's drink to our enemies. So that they have everything: a country villa, a luxury car in the garage, Persian carpets, a swimming pool, a fireplace, and of course, a satellite phone that they would call only on 01, 02 and 03!!!

First toast: Goodbye! We won't see you sober today!

There is no need to chase a woman like a runaway tram. Remember that the next tram is coming behind you.
So let's drink to trams running more often!

God molded a man out of clay, and he was left with a small piece of clay.
- What else do you need to make, man? - asked God.
The man thought: everything seems to be there - arms, legs, head - and said:
- Make me happy.
But God, although he saw everything and knew everything, did not know what happiness was. He gave the clay to the man and said:
- Make your own happiness.
For our success in this matter!

Let's drink so that we walk down the street late at night and get attacked by money! But we couldn't fight them off!

Once a young horseman was riding through the mountains of beautiful Georgia with his beautiful wife. He was strong as a bull, fast as a mountain river, his eyes were like an eagle, his dagger was sharp like an attack of appendicitis, his mind was as twisted as a scribble on a hat...
And then, on the rock above the road, a mountain goat appeared. And the horseman, at full gallop, pulled out his gun and shot at the animal, but not a single muscle flinched on the goat’s muzzle. Then he stopped his horse and, taking aim, shot again, but the goat did not even move. Then the horseman got down to the ground, and, kneeling down, fired again, but the goat only jumped to the side. And when the horseman wanted to lie down to shoot, the goat had already disappeared. Both the young horseman and his young wife died of hunger.
So let's drink so that we don't come across such assholes on our life's path!

Dear women! I wish you to always have four animals: a mink on your shoulders, a Jaguar in the garage, a lion in your bed and a donkey who would pay for all this!

A baby camel once asks his mother:
- Mom, look at how slender and thin the horse’s legs are, but why do we have such crooked paws?
- But we will walk through the desert, but the horse will not be able to, it will get stuck.
- Mom, look how even the horse’s teeth are, but why are ours so crooked and bent, and saliva flows all the time?
- But we can eat thorns in the desert, but a horse cannot.
- Mom, look how smooth and beautiful the horse’s back is, but why is that hanging out there?
“But we can survive in the desert for two weeks without water, but a horse cannot.”
- Mom, why the hell do we need all this at the zoo?
So let's drink to survive in our zoo!

A girl's weapon is her clothes.
Let's drink to general disarmament.

An eagle was flying high in the sky. And the Eagle had a beautiful pearl necklace around his neck. Suddenly, a Golden Eagle flies out from behind a cloud and says to the Eagle: “Make way for me!”
But the proud Eagle said: “No!” and did not give way. And they began to fight. They fought day and night and no one could win. In the heat of the fight, Berkut accidentally broke the necklace and the pearls scattered all over the Earth...
So let's drink to those Beautiful Pearls that sit here among us!

A turtle is swimming along the river with a poisonous snake sitting on its back. The snake thinks: “If I bite, it will throw me off.” The turtle thinks: “If I throw it off, it will bite.”
So let's drink to the faithful female friendship, which can overcome any obstacles!

Women are flowers. And flowers are beautiful when they bloom.
So let's drink to loose women!

A guy comes to the sorcerer and asks:
- Give me a dick to the ground.
The sorcerer thought and thought and made his legs ten centimeters long.
So let's drink to a well-written technical assignment!

Let's drink vodka to the generation that chooses Pepsi! Because we will get more!

People say: “If you want to make the right decision, consult your wife and do the opposite. I drink to our wives who give us the opportunity to difficult situation find the right solution.

One evening a young woman came into the telegraph office and asked for a form in a trembling voice. She wrote a telegram on one form, tore it up, then on a second one - and tore it up again. Finally, she wrote a third telegram and handed it to the window, asking him to send it quickly. When the telegram was sent and the sender went home, the telegraph operator inquired about the first two.
Here's what was written in the first one:
- Everything is over. I don't want to see you anymore.
The second one had this text:
- Don't try to write or see me anymore.
And the third was as follows:
- Come immediately by the next train. Waiting for an answer.
So let's drink to the constancy of female character!

I was recently in France and got into a conversation with a Parisian.
- Good woman“, he said, “this is the one who has a husband and a lover.”
- Really? “I thought it was bad,” I said.
- No, the bad one is the one who only has a lover.
- I thought it was fallen.
- No, the fallen is the one who has no one.
- I thought it was lonely.
- No, lonely is the one who has one husband.
So let's drink, dear friends, to single women!

One wise Georgian said:
If you want to be happy for one day, get drunk.
If you want to be happy for a week, get sick.
If you want to be happy for a month, get married.
If you want to be happy for a year, take a mistress.
If you want to be happy all your life, be healthy, dear!
So let's drink to the happiness of everyone present - to health!

Going to war, the king put a chastity belt on his charming wife. Mounting his horse to ride off on a campaign, he called his faithful friend and servant to him:
- I give you the key to my most important treasury. If I am killed in the war, you will unfasten the chastity belt my wife is wearing. And you will do this exactly one year after my death. Only you can I entrust this key, for I have no doubt about your honesty and nobility.
Honored with such trust, the friend and servant bowed to the king, kissed the sovereign's hand and took the key. Before the king had time to drive far from the castle, he heard the clatter of hooves: his faithful friend and servant was catching up with him.
- What happened, my faithful friend? - the king asked him.
- Your Majesty, a terrible mistake has occurred. You handed me the wrong key!
So let's drink to our devoted and faithful friends!

Some joker got under New Year Santa Claus' fur coat and beard. He dressed up and, rejoicing that he could amuse his wife, rang the doorbell of his apartment. His wife opened it and, before he had time to utter a word, she threw herself on his neck, began to kiss him passionately and took him into the bedroom. And there, like a madwoman, she indulged in passionate love with “Santa Claus.” Taking advantage of the small respite, the husband threw off his false beard and mustache. And then he heard his wife’s voice, which amazed him:
- Well, it’s you! And I didn’t recognize you at all!
So let's raise a toast to real men who know how to throw a party for their wife too!

A real man- this is a man who remembers exactly a woman’s birthday and never knows how old she is.
And a man who never remembers a woman’s birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her real husband.
So let's raise a glass to real men!

Suliko and Shota lived and fell in love with each other. They fell in love and got married. We just got married, Shota needs to go on a business trip.
“Don’t worry,” he says to his young wife, “I’ll be back in three days.”
Three days have passed, three times three days have passed, and Shota does not return, ten times three days have passed, and Shota is still not there.
The young wife became worried and sent ten true friends telegrams. And telegrams came from ten cities from ten faithful friends:
- Don't worry, Shota is with us!
So let's drink to true friends who don't let you down in trouble!

A toad crawled across the rails. A train passed and cut off her legs. The toad crawled to the side and thought: “They were beautiful legs, I should come back.” As soon as she climbed onto the rail, the train passed again and cut off her head.
So let's drink to not losing our heads over beautiful legs!