Is there friendship between a man and a woman? This question has already set the teeth on edge, but no one can still give an unambiguous answer to it. Psychologists around the world are puzzling over this issue, considering all sorts of options for "friendship" between a man and a woman.

After rereading many articles and works, I came to the conclusion that friendship between a man and a woman, as Bernard Shaw said, “is the relationship of either former lovers or future ones.” That is, no matter what you do, no matter how you are friends, sexual relations between you are a prerequisite for friendship. Is it so? Let's figure it out.

Sounds kind of stupid. Be friends, after what happened between you? After passionate kisses, tender hugs, after ruined plans for the future - and be friends? Do you believe in such friendship yourself? But someone claims that such friendship happens, and quite strong and faithful. But I hardly believe it. On the part of a woman, trying to keep a former lover as a friend is a rather unwise move. This is a serious hindrance to future romances, and jealousy for his new passions, and a constant reminder (perhaps painful) of your past relationship. You won’t be able to have sincere conversations, but for men’s work (fixing a faucet, hanging a mirror, etc.), it’s better to find another candidate. And friendly sex according to the old memory is, sorry, no longer friendship.

From the subtitle it follows that friendship awaits between a man and a woman. This friendship is always a temporary state, which over time should develop into something definite. Or fall apart. Of course, there are exceptions in this case too. But, as you know, exceptions only confirm the rule.

Sexual attraction is one of the enemies of friendship. According to the survey, it is precisely this that prevents most women from making friends with men, while men, on the contrary, believe that sex will only strengthen friendship. In this situation, everything depends only on the weak half - whether she agrees to friendly sex or not. If so, goodbye, friend. And if not, then ... everything has its time. Sooner or later, the tension will become unbearable, and the "friends" will not stand it. As a rule, this happens during a difficult period for one of the friends (boyfriend / girlfriend left, failure at work, a hard day, etc.)

In addition to the main problem, there are many others.

1. your other halves. How can you prove to them that you are just friends? This is quite difficult to do. Jealousy cannot be avoided, and, accordingly, scandals and quarrels on this topic too.
2. Under the guise of friendship, the love of one of their friends can be hidden. You can't imagine a worse situation. You love and are friends with you. In this case, it is better to end the friendship and start the relationship as a couple. Or go different paths.
3. A man cannot be your “girlfriend”. Of course, he can give advice no worse than any girlfriend (sometimes better), help with the choice of outfit, but in many ways your relationship is limited. The main thing is in physiological moments and bodily contact. For example, remember how we love to go to the bathroom with a friend. Or at the weekend in the sauna. You can't do this with a male friend.

These are not all the problems that stand in the way of friendship between a man and a woman. Nature itself opposes this fact, denies it. Needless to say, a man and a woman were not created for friendship. Great people have a similar opinion on this matter.

• No one becomes a woman's friend if he can become her lover. O. Balzac
• Friendship can end in love, but love never ends in friendship. C. K. Colton
• Friendship between a man and a woman is very weak with the onset of night. O. von Bismarck
• Friendship between a man and a woman is an impossible thing; between them there can be passion, enmity, adoration, love, but not friendship. O. Wilde.
• Friendship between a man and a woman is a relationship of either former lovers or future ones. B. Show

Many people are concerned about the question: is there friendship between a man and a woman? A lot of attention is constantly drawn to this topic from the press, television, and the Internet. Some guys who are in a friendly relationship with girls are worried that they will never be able to win the heart of the beauty they like. And how many unfortunate girls suffer, desperate to attract the attention of a particular young man! Growing love out of friendship seems to many to be a truly impossible task. Is friendship between a man and a woman possible in principle?

Attachment Features

The friendship of a man and a woman, when it arises for some reason, is characterized by a number of distinctive features. These manifestations cannot be ignored and pretend that nothing is happening. As a rule, usually young people do not think about how they really relate to each other and may well replace one concept with another. The older generation already has enough experience in relationships, so a mature person is unlikely to be mistaken about his own feelings. The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman has a number of features that deserve special attention. All of them are remarkable and interesting in their own way.

Common interests

In most cases, boys and girls get to know each other at the place of study, or meet in the same group of peers. A friendship is established between them, which many maintain for years, making significant efforts for this. Sometimes a guy marries his close girlfriend, such cases are no exception. In a male company, a female friend often appears. Such friendship is always built on a common interest. For example, close friends play computer games together. They sit at the monitor for several hours in a row and do not notice how quickly time flies.

It brings people together to play sports together. Especially young men and teenagers tend to get involved in something seriously, forgetting about everything in the world. Common aspirations and activities are what firmly binds people together. In such circumstances, friendship can arise between a man and a woman.

Ownership

Another important feature is that close friends of the opposite sex always experience some feeling of jealousy towards each other. It is likely that they will not want to recognize it even alone with themselves. Ownership is a natural characteristic of friendship between a man and a woman.

The thing is, subconsciously every person, regardless of gender, wants to please and impress. When there is attention from a loved one, under no circumstances will you want to lose it. That is why there is a pronounced jealousy in such relationships. Sometimes close friends unwittingly prevent their friend from having a second half. The line between friendship and love is very thin here. To cross it means to destroy the past, and not everyone can decide on such an act.

Constant sacrifice

Sometimes it happens that one of the partners really loves, and the other perceives him exclusively as a friend. At the same time, enthusiastic assurances of sincere devotion and established understanding can be heard. Such big words create a barrier that not everyone can easily overcome later. Most sane people don't want to destroy relationships that have been built over the years. That's when you really have to suffer. It is precisely such stories, repeatedly heard from the lips of a close friend, that make one doubt whether there is friendship between a man and a woman? Maybe it never existed?

The fact is that no one wants to feel hopelessly and passionately in love. When there is no hope of reciprocity, tender affection becomes a heavy burden. Of course, such feelings do not bring joy, but only disappoint. To live, constantly sacrificing oneself, is very difficult. A person who is unrequitedly in love at some point is forced to begin to hide his feelings, which leads to general dissatisfaction, emotional instability, and characteristic irritability.

Unfortunately, it often happens that the second partner successfully uses the current situation. He pretends not to notice the passionate glances, because he does not want to lose a friend, and at the same time is not ready to move to another stage of the relationship. In adults, as a rule, such problems rarely occur, but teenagers often find themselves in the “friend zone”. Anyone who has experienced such experiences at least once will not wish them on anyone. Friendship between a man and a woman is a very specific thing.

Signs of true friendship

Those people who foam at the mouth prove that friendship between a man and a woman exists, should understand that such relationships imply quite specific manifestations. There should be no selfishness towards each other. In fact, rarely is anyone able to maintain truly friendly relations for many years and at the same time not even try to pretend to be something more.

Selfless affection

It is formed when a deep trust has been established between people. Selfless attachment implies that people do not just share emotions and experiences with each other, but also really become very close souls. There is a strong emotional connection between them, which is sometimes absent even among spouses. In this case, there is a friendship between a man and a woman.

The opinion of men on this issue is such that they prefer to build friendly relationships with those girls who do not seem sexually attractive to them. Instead of physical attraction, there is a focus on common interests and hobbies. Selfless affection, however, in most cases implies that both partners are people who are already married. Friendship with a married man is a desirable and attractive prospect for many ladies, because such a friend will not pester, he can be completely trusted. The friendship between a married man and a married woman can last for years.

Ability to be happy for a friend

Not every person is capable of such an act. Most in everyday life is guided by selfish considerations. Important decisions are often made for profit. The ability to be happy for a friend is a true attribute of true friendship. When there is no envy, the desire to gain or deceive a partner, then there is a place to be a truly high relationship. If opposite-sex friends are capable of such selfless dedication, then in reality they will never offend or betray each other.

Lack of jealousy

Friendship between a man and a woman is actually possible only when there is no sense of ownership on both sides. If there is no jealousy towards each other, and at the same time they manage to maintain a sincere relationship for many years, then this indicates a sufficient level of personality development.

Unfortunately, few people manage to have such a relationship. As a rule, people seek to receive, not to give. Not everyone can be a disinterested witness to someone else's happiness and really be happy for their friend. The absence of jealousy is the threshold that distinguishes real mature relationships built on sincere dedication and the desire to help each other. If everyone aspired to such relationships, there would be no involuntarily offended and forgotten friends in the world.

The absence of unnecessary jealousy makes the relationship truly pure, tender and trusting. Being worthy of such high aspirations, people, as a rule, attract those who have a generous, sensitive heart.

Thus, friendship between a man and a woman is a serious topic that has many pitfalls and very difficult circumstances. Most people prefer to build friendships with people of the same gender, because it's easier to figure out how significant and necessary a person is. Friendship between a man and a woman is real, but in reality it is even rarer than true love. The reason is quite banal - every person is to some extent selfish and unable to be satisfied with thoughts about the happiness of his friend.

Fortunately, the days when schooling for boys and girls was separate are long gone, so modern people begin to communicate with members of the opposite sex from an early age and continue to do so until old age. And, of course, when people communicate with each other, certain relationships and antipathies arise between them. With dislikes, everything is more or less clear. Rather, today we will not talk about them at all, but rather about a feeling of sympathy.

Of course, the most pronounced sympathy between a man and a woman is still one, and it degenerates into a love relationship. But on the other hand, as a rule, we like not one person, but several, many.

Moreover, a person can be sympathetic without a touch of some special attraction or love, and in this case, sympathy flows into friendly, friendly relations. But even here, not everything is so simple, because we are still talking about the relationship of people of different sexes. And as a result, a heated debate arises: a Is real sincere friendship between a man and a woman possible??

Tell me who is your friend?

There is a point of view that such friendship is impossible in principle. Even if a man and a woman call their relationship friendship, and one of them really does not experience any feelings other than friendship, the second one still experiences them (most often secretly). And then, at best, such a "friendship" can later develop into something more.

And at worst, this second one will suffer, listening to stories about the love experiences of his "friend" or "girlfriend", trying to hide his own feelings away in the soul. But one day it becomes completely unbearable to hide love, and then there are two ways: either by confessing a person receives reciprocity (or at least a chance for reciprocity), or a frank refusal. But, be that as it may, after this "friendship" will no longer be the same as before.

Sometimes relationships come to naught and by themselves, for example, when one of the friends has his own family, and a “friend in love” or girlfriend suddenly comes to the realization that nothing is holding him next to this person, since there is no longer any dream of reciprocity meaning, and the whole "friendship", as it turned out, rested precisely on this ...

Human factor

And yet, many believe that sincere, true friendship between a man and a woman is still quite possible. It is friendship - without all sorts of secret loves, dramas and.

Probably, many can even give similar examples from their own lives or the lives of their friends. And, indeed, why, in fact, representatives of the opposite sex cannot be friends with each other? After all, a person is a person who is able to see in others a personality, their inner world and soul, and not perceive them only as a sexual object.

Friendship between a man and a woman is a fairly common topic of debate. Someone is convinced that if friendship is real, then it doesn’t matter what gender the friends are and what their age difference is. Others are convinced that sooner or later, friendships between a man and a woman can develop into something more. So which version is closer to the truth?

Friendship between a man and a woman - myth or reality

Is there really friendship between a man and a woman?

Psychology of friendly relations between a man and a woman

Signs of true friendship between a man and a woman

No sexual connotation. Friendship between a man and a woman often has some ambiguity - sometimes notes of flirting and ambiguous compliments slip through. There are no such games in real relationships. Heading to meet a real friend, not a possible partner, you do not attach importance to how your dress fits you, whether your hair is good, and so on. Casual discussion of personal life. You know perfectly well what status you are in for each other, and this suits you perfectly. You can easily consult with each other on how to impress the person you like or what to give to your loved one. If every time you ask for advice about this or that guy, you get a preconceived opinion from a friend, then your friendship is probably more for him than for you. Moreover, this may be completely unconscious. Your friend, being a free man, will always be ready for new interesting acquaintances, even if it is a girlfriend. If he shows interest in other women, and easily tells you about it, you are definitely just a friend to him. A male friend is usually not as close to a woman as a life partner. You should not be in the first place for him - he will not give up all his affairs for you, without a really good and special reason. If he has a lover, then, of course, he will pay much more attention to her than to you. A good test can be the joint drinking of any alcoholic beverage. Everyone knows that a drunk person often voices thoughts that he thinks soberly. If there is no encroachment from a friend in your direction at these moments, then you can be firmly convinced that he perceives you as a girlfriend. The same "test" can be arranged for a woman.

How long can such a friendship last, and how does it end?

Scientists at the University of Wisconsin wanted to find out if there is a sincere, unfriendly friendship between a man and a woman, and they found out! Almost always, such friendships lead to intimate relationships, but why? Let's try to figure it out.

Opposites attract, but does this law apply when it comes to a person's gender. The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman is the most mysterious question that has been tormenting the minds of people for centuries. For many years, scientists, psychologists, poets, writers and philosophers have been trying to determine whether such a sincere connection really exists. Without any doubt, almost every person (whether it is a man or a woman) was embraced by friendly sympathy for a person of the opposite sex. And, of course, everyone asked himself: what is it? Sincere friendship, passionate desire or the beginning of a new love? Psychology, as a science, excludes any existence of such friendship, arguing that a man can use a woman for selfish motives, but life is not a science and it is full of exceptions to the rules.

Is friendship possible between a man and a woman?

We can’t imagine what the fair sex means by the word friendship, because experience shows that this is too blurred a reality for them. Women do not know how to be friends, at least with women. Female friendship is an unidentified phenomenon, where either two happy or two unhappy, two beautiful and two "an amateur" get along well, as soon as one of them's life gets better, the balance is disturbed, the friendship stops.

Men, in turn, are simpler, clearer, as is their friendship. No, of course, the representatives of the stronger sex often compete with each other in the size of the wallet or other advantages, but they do not stop being friends because of this. Two men are unlikely to quarrel because one is a caring father, and the other is a tireless lover, or that girls look at one, and the other must constantly pay the bills for their attention.

The symbiosis of a man and a woman simplifies friendship, turning it from a complex female into an easier one of different sexes. In fact, it turns out that such friendship takes place in this world: it is easier, simpler, simpler. However, it is still likely only in some cases: either with a complete absence of sexual desire, or after a relationship that ended in mutual consent, or while there are circumstances that restrain love ardor. But this seemingly stable system is also subject to turbulence in the form of intimacy.

Many representatives of the stronger sex are sincerely friends with women, especially with ex-partners. The former is her own person, she knows your weaknesses. You can trust her with all your secrets. Moreover, this type of men do not experience any jealousy towards the current partner of their girlfriend. Another thing is when a spark has not yet passed between you. If a woman does not strive for intimacy, then with men the opposite is true.

What is friendship between a man and a woman?

In the modern world, this is a normal phenomenon when a man and a woman are united by something more than a bed. However, it turned out that the representatives of the stronger sex are not able to simply be friends with women. Scientists conducted a survey of 89 couples who entered into friendly heterosexual relationships. This led to the conclusion that all men - married, divorced, and single - want to be friends only with those who are considered sexually attractive. Moreover, they all naively believe that the girlfriends they have chosen feel the opposite feelings for them. There were no exceptions, and there cannot be.

So, beliefs like: “a man communicates with you because he really wants to” is not complete nonsense. Although, on the other hand, sexologists argue that if a man needs only sex from a woman, he will not play girlfriends with her for a long time. Unsatisfied desires spoil everything, even the brightest and purest feelings. Friendship is a wine that requires endurance, and men are not able to restrain themselves.

Summing up, I would like to say that heterosexual friendship (especially permanent) between a man and a woman is dangerous, as it leads to disastrous consequences: a broken heart of a man, woman or their partners. Therefore, when making a friend of the opposite sex, you should evaluate all the risks. Remember: almost always such friendship pushes to sex. But, in some cases, it can be saving (when the marriage has outlived its usefulness) or creative (if you had nothing and you do not strive for this).

Spoil friendship with sex or not you need to decide on your own. Therefore, listen to your heart: if you dream of intimacy with a friendship partner, then who knows, maybe this is your destiny. But, if you have already found your person, and a friend now and then hints ambiguously, it is better to stop all communication with such a person. In any case, sooner or later, he will hate you or you him. And so, be friends with whom you want and when you want, the main thing is that the person is good, and friendship is strong. There are always exceptions. Good luck in everything, and don't forget to press the buttons and