Friendship between a man and a woman - myth or reality? Friendship between a man and a woman: truth or myth

Opinions regarding friendship between representatives of two opposite sexes, which are expressed by serious researchers and people of creative professions, are the most opposite. There are those who believe that such friendship is just "sex put off for later." Consequently, only he underlies any relationship (including production) between a man and a woman. Others, on the contrary, tend to argue that only relationships based on friendship are the most durable and faithful. Because if the sexual component is extracted and permanently removed from such relationships, they have every chance to keep their thoughts pure.

Friendship between a man and a woman: "for" and "against".

Why is there such a friendship?

There are, of course, many other opinions. There are those who prefer the option in which, sooner or later, the relationship between the representatives of the stronger and fairer sexes will lead to the need to consider friendship as a prelude, followed by the main, intimate part. Cynics and other representatives of society, who have a critical view of everything around them, are sure: a man who has failed to achieve reciprocity from a woman offers to “remain friends”. But at the same time, it has only one goal - the hope that over time such relationships will develop into sexual ones. In the same way, arguments from more experienced specialists in this case can be cited: a man initially offers to be “only a friend”, hoping, thus, to win over a woman to himself, with all the sexual prospects that follow from this.

Enumerate all sorts of variations of such, at first glance, unpretentious friendship can be arbitrarily long. On whichever of the above principles the friendship between a man and a woman is built, it should be considered from the point of view of relations. And relationships, like many other things in life, require daily care and attention. After all, a friend is, in essence, the most ordinary person who has not only advantages, but also disadvantages. To be able to accept a friend for who he really is and not try to remake him to fit his egoistic “comb” is the key to the success of any friendship. Only when a person is valued, respected and feels the attention, understanding and care of another person, friendship will be strong and long.

Basic types of friendship

Based on the specifics of friendships, we can consider them in relation to the following three main patterns:

  • friendship of two people united by one profession (colleagues);
  • relationships that have become strong, starting from living in the same yard, from kindergarten, school, university, and so on (childhood friends);
  • finally, a connection that was formed spontaneously, at some specific moment in life (disco, theater, stadium, mutual friends, common interests, and many others).

In each such case of the emergence and continuation of friendship, there are positive and negative nuances. Because not all friendships are built on the foundation of honesty and sincerity. Let us first turn to the negative aspects that often underlie quite normal, seemingly, relationships.

  • There are friends who need a person to become a "vest" for other people's tears. They enjoy the fact that an outsider trusts them with their most secret secrets from others (and often this is exactly what happens). by their nature, they do not need a specific person, but the consciousness that he has someone, over whom he has power.
  • There are also friends who are friends with someone as long as it suits them. The most common couples are either a despot admired by his friend who is ready to do anything for the sake of friendship, or simply a pragmatic person who skillfully maintains relationships to extract, from time to time, some benefit for himself.
  • There are many friends in modern life with whom famous personalities from the world of art, politics or business have relationships. Such friends simply need to brag when meeting or talking with people they know: they say, I am friends with this person!

But there are also sincere relationships, both between people who are old enough, and friendship between a guy and a girl, which is also not uncommon. Most often they arise from a common interest and have a fairly powerful resource for survival.

Moreover, such friendship can be not only in ordinary reality, but also, for example, in social networks. Young people, for whom numerous professional opportunities open up with the entry into a serious life, can easily communicate with each other without seeing any sexual overtones in this. The same thing happens with older people who are united by a common profession or common interests in music, painting or literature. There is a huge scope for a fruitful exchange of useful information. And such relationships can be considered positive.

Friendship between a guy and a girl is the opinion of psychologists.

Interestingly, over the years, men, according to sociological surveys, are more inclined towards the possibility of normal friendship between members of the opposite sexes. But women, growing up, on the contrary, more and more firmly believe that any such friendship will invariably lead to adultery. In part, the basis for such confidence is provided by the more than rich practice of such relations. In works of literature, cinema, and television programs, the topic of friendship is raised very often, and it is replete with cases when, in her girlfriend-girl (or vice versa), sexual relations arise between friends of the newlyweds, and so on. In addition, there are many and simple cases when the friendship still continues, but one of its participants is drawn to other relationships.

Both participants in such a relationship have everything necessary to maintain a pure, sincere friendship. This is everyday care for your “little garden”, which you need to be able to cultivate. And for this - to use the soul and heart, without them it is impossible to achieve friendship!

It is no coincidence that the same social surveys revealed one very interesting feature of the formation of opinions “for” and “against”. Among the respondents who answered the question about the existence of such friendship in the affirmative, there are more people who are based on personal experience. And, on the contrary, opponents of the existence of friendship, came to this opinion "on the basis of other ideas." Supporters of the existence of such friendship in 9 cases out of 10 have in mind their own personal experience. And these are figures that cannot be trusted.

The best friendship.

Yes, friendship between people of different sexes is possible! And it's just wonderful that it happens. Indeed, in this way, the idea that people do not live by sex alone justifies itself. That we can all be united by a common religion, a common idea to make our planet a better place, and other common interests. As practice shows, it is such disinterested, honest and pure relationships that are most valued in our world. A true friend, a friend without any selfishness in his soul, is always ready to help, and it doesn’t matter if he is on the other side of the world and whether he has the means to get to a friend. This is a very touching friendship, it is strong and reliable. And examples of such friendship, sung in the immortal works of art, make us all a little better!

Surely many are concerned about the question of whether there is friendship between a man and a woman. This is a rather complex question, so there is no exact answer to it. One thing is for sure: friendships between two girls and between a guy and a girl will be radically different from each other. Some aspects of the relationship will be similar, but in general, such a friendship will have many differences from the one that occurs between two friends.

This is a mutually beneficial process of communication between two persons, each of which receives some specific benefit. This benefit can be of a different nature:

  • material;
  • psychological;
  • emotional.

Material benefit means something quite tangible, it is often received in the process of communication by colleagues or business partners. Sometimes this benefit can be of an energetic nature, when one person uses another to pour out his soul, thereby becoming heard, understood and having received moral satisfaction from communicating with a friend. This also includes the type of friendship when two people relax together and make each other a pleasant company, exchanging pleasant emotions and sensations.

Speaking about friendly relations between a man and a woman, you need to understand one thing: in order for this friendship to take place and be mutually beneficial for both, all factors must be taken into account.

One of them in this case is sexual desire, which, by definition, cannot be satisfied, unless, of course, this is an intimate relationship, but they are directly opposite to friendly ones.

Usually the range of activities and topics of communication in intersexual friendship is strictly limited. There are several main ones:

  • a walk to the movies;
  • joint lunches or dinners;
  • certain topics of conversation.

This list is not exhaustive, but it has limitations. Roughly speaking, a girl cannot afford to lie in the same bed with a boyfriend, as in the case of a friend, as well as tell some of her gynecological problems, such as a violation of the menstrual cycle or the appearance of strange discharge. However, this does not apply to gay friends, ex-husbands (boyfriends) or ex-lovers who later became friends.

In general, close friendship with a guy, in the usual sense of a girl, is possible only in two cases: with a gay man or an ex-husband, that is, friendship with a married man now. Otherwise, it will be a slightly different kind of relationship that has a certain framework. You can be friends with a classmate or colleague, but it will be a different, friendly friendship. This is due to the fact that, in addition to limiting the topics of communication and spending time together, there is a factor of sexual desire in such relationships. In this regard, the most effective option to avoid it would be such a friendship in which there is no mutual attraction.

Of course, there will always be some exceptions to the rules, but here it is more about a certain trend that can be traced in the friendship of a man and a woman.

The psychology of their communication is such that the attraction factor is constantly present. He is very strong and cannot be ignored. Most often, it is the man who first begins to take the initiative in this vein, while the girl does not allow him to cross a certain line of what is permitted and retains the so-called friend zone, that is, in every possible way prevents him from becoming her young man.

It turns out that a girl benefits from communicating with a man, and he, in turn, hopes to the last that this will develop into something more. Guys may not even admit this fact, without giving themselves away and not advertising their desires, but secretly they still hope to get this trophy. That is, as a rule, there is almost always a sexual interest on the part of a man.

In very rare cases, the situation can be reversed, it mainly happens when a man is successful, realized and famous. In this case, the girl may prefer friendship with him, hoping for the development of a romantic continuation, but the man avoids this relationship format in every possible way and maintains the friend zone.

In a relationship between a guy and a girl, you need to clearly understand and share several things. These include the following principles:

  1. Men need to avoid empty expectations.
  2. Girls should clearly set boundaries, that is, directly say that they do not see a sexual partner in a guy.

If a guy, having already built certain expectations towards a girl, understands and realizes that he is in the friend zone, then on this basis he may have a deep resentment or even hatred towards her. He will gradually pour out this hatred on the girl, thereby giving her an additional negative test.

Separately, it is worth mentioning the relationship between a married man and a woman. The psychology of the male representative here will again take its toll, and he will not perceive another woman as a friend, whether it be a colleague or someone else. It will not even be necessary for a woman to give some reason to create an intimate mood in him.

The most complete option for a girl's friendship with a person of the opposite sex will be gays. This can be explained by the presence of the following distinctive character traits:

  • narcissism;
  • lack of envy;
  • lack of competition;
  • impossibility of sexual attraction.

It is very easy for girls to be friends with gay narcissists, because they cannot compete with other men and will not perceive a girlfriend as a rival. In this case, homosexuals will feel very easy with women, because they pursue the same interests, such as grooming and other things.

Given the lack of competition between a woman and a gay, the latter will sincerely give advice on style and makeup, because they will not be driven by any hidden jealousy. Roughly speaking, it will be a girlfriend, only in a male guise, whose motives will not be driven by envy or related feelings, which cannot be said about women. It is often for this reason that female narcissists take gay men as friends, as they are most comfortable with them.

Intersexual friendship takes place when everyone understands what it is for. A notable feature is communication between adolescents aged 15-17 when they gather in groups and communicate. In this vein, communication between a guy and a girl can be called friendship, but only until it is colored by sexuality and flirting, that is, when they treat each other like brothers and sisters.

However, when these relationships move to a completely different stage, that is, communication in the group stops and division into pairs begins, then this is no longer friendship in its purest form. In other words, it tends to develop further. In general, we can conclude that the interaction of a guy and a girl should be considered from the side of possible or impossible family ties.

Roughly speaking, in a company, all people will treat each other equally, which is one type of human interaction. But when the division into pairs begins, then invariably some plans should be made for these people for the future. In most cases, this does not bode well and often only leads to unnecessary emotional wounds for young people. This suggests that it is better to avoid serious relationships at a young age.

Friendship between a guy and a girl is possible, but only for a certain period of time. Then it either falls apart or develops into something more. If it so happened that the former friendly relations were transformed into romantic ones, then such a connection between a man and a woman will be the strongest. There was even a large study of married couples, which revealed that the happiest and strongest are families based on friendship. This is understandable, since there are several stages in the development of intersexual relations, each of which has its own characteristics.

The most difficult stage in the development of relations, at which the possibility of their continuation is clarified, is the second year. Around this time, the so-called blind love subsides, people begin to notice the previously invisible shortcomings of the partner. If love was based only on external attractiveness, then relations usually collapse during this period. In other cases, when there was a factor of friendship before falling in love, this develops into a further wedding and family life.

In most cases, such families are the strongest, they can be called happy. The thing is that people who were once friends have formed a certain circle of common interests.

Besides, they often have a common worldview and outlook on life. This is what plays a key role in how happy family life will be.

Ordinary friendships that arise in people of the same sex cannot be applied to inter-gender relationships for the reason that the psychology of friendship between a man and a woman always implies a hidden (latent) sympathy of a romantic nature from one of the partners. More often such hidden sympathy comes from men. As a result, if you do not immediately voice your intentions, this will only lead to disappointment and even mutual hatred.


Can friendship be born between a man and a woman? There are many different opinions, most believe that this is a myth. Is it so? Let's try to understand whether such a phenomenon is real or maybe one of them hopes for something more?

Psychology

Almost everyone has a life example when a boy and a girl grew up together, and as they grew up, they continued their friendship. So what to say about this? One expert believes that since childhood, children have some kind of connection and they have no problems with mutual understanding, so you should not think about anything more. Sexual attraction comes from difference, and friendship is determined by similarity. However, even friendship arises where people have attraction.

So let's try to understand what the differences are. Sexual attraction consists of many experiences based on natural instincts, seeking to reproduce life. And as for friendship, it is a kind of emotional connection, determined by such feelings as tenderness.

In general, friendship between a man and a woman is a very complex and not entirely clear phenomenon. Often sexual relations are associated with this phenomenon, almost always such a connection is fully justified.

Men's opinion

Men have their own opinions on this matter. All of them are quite diverse, but let's discuss some of them. Often they believe that if a woman is not physiologically interested in a man, then it is likely that there will be friendships, such relationships can be strong, but for how long? Almost always, one of the two breaks down and a desire for something more appears.

And the following point of view is also popular. True friendship can only be born between those who have already been in a sexual relationship with each other. In this case, people have already experienced a lot and know each other very closely. This is common and it has always been proven that such a relationship can be trusting, but only after a close connection. And in order for friendship to work, people must be able to part with each other.

Women's opinion

What do they say about this woman?

Girls have an ambiguous opinion, it all depends on the situation and the person.

Some say they are afraid that an intimate relationship will suddenly break out between them and destroy their friendship. This point of view is very common, and there are a lot of such situations when an intimate relationship destroyed friendship.

And is a one-time connection worth the loss of a strong friendship? Therefore, those who believe that such a connection is supposed to be avoided, they are often right.

Others believe that friendship cannot be due to the fact that someone is attracted and has hopes for something more. This position is also quite popular, because this situation happens often. Friendship in many cases breaks down due to the fact that one of the friends is in love and wants to turn friendship into a love affair. This option is quite good if the feelings are mutual, but if on the contrary, then the friendship will simply disappear.

Some say that they initially classify some guys as a “friend”, and then they can’t get out of it. With representatives of this category, girls can spend time in a variety of ways, but he will always be just a friend.



Some girls say that guys take this as a start, and in the future they expect everyone to understand what. This is also not uncommon, very often guys try to make friends, but only for the hope of an intimate relationship.

There are even ladies who talk about the fact that there are such men, friendship with which lasts for many years. Friendship even with families. With some there were intimate relationships, as well as the jealousy of their soul mates.

As you can see, all of the above opinions are completely different. Which once again proves that everyone has their own life and each case is individual.

How often does such a friendship end?

Such friendship has certain limitations, they do not allow you to enjoy the relationship at 100%. The main obstacle may be in the form of a jealous partner of one of the friends. After all, not everyone can tolerate the presence of a friend or girlfriend in their half. Constant scandals based on jealousy or ultimatums often destroy friendships or relationships of friends, but this happens less often.

But you can never predict something in advance, so absolutely any relationship can lead to anything. What is the end of this relationship? Friendship can develop into a wonderful love story, or maybe vice versa. And everything can just end.

In conclusion, we note that friendship and love can be connected, that certain boundaries simply disappear.

There are such relations:

  1. The couple are best friends but that doesn't stop them from loving each other madly. In this case, a certain type of relationship is considered. After all, they are strong, stronger than those in which there is no true friendship between husband and wife, and therefore many other factors are absent. For example, there may be problems with mutual understanding and not only with him.
  2. Man and woman are good friends but may allow sexual relations. specific relationship. There are several options for their outcome. Perhaps they will last until the second half appears in someone, or maybe they will completely develop into one thing, and it is also possible that everything will remain so. It is difficult to predict the future outcome.
  3. The strongest and longest feelings can be reborn into friendship. It happens that people are together for a long time, but the relationship comes to an end, and people do not want to lose each other. Yes, and often people are held together by a banal affection, in which case everything can be reborn into friendship. Friendship can be strong, but the further outcome cannot be predicted.
  4. Friendly relations, but only on the basis of common shared hobbies. Such relationships are quite specific, based on a certain area. For example, visiting art galleries. They usually do not go further, they are within the usual framework. Two are accustomed to such a framework and often simply do not want to change anything, but, of course, another outcome is possible.
  5. Friendly relationship between student and teacher. A special rare connection, it should be protected.
  6. Friendship with a woman's best friend. This phenomenon is rare due to jealousy, and also it is not durable. Various outcomes are possible.
  7. Prohibition of sexual relations in order to maintain friendships. Such relationships can only be for those who truly value their friendship and do not want sex to interfere. If two people have a sincere goal of maintaining friendship and there is no sexual attraction, then friendship can really be strong, as well as long. But in this case, it is important that both of them have no sexual desire, otherwise, sooner or later, the friendship will be ruined.

What conclusions can we draw from the above? Let's think carefully. It is not necessary to associate all relationships with established prejudices, it is too banal. Different things happen in life, but everyone has their own relationships, they are individual and unique. Do not be afraid to let a friend into your life, because if you experience fear of love, then you will not have it, the same situation is with friendship.

Is there friendship between a man and a woman? This question has already set the teeth on edge, but no one can still give an unambiguous answer to it. Psychologists around the world are puzzling over this issue, considering all sorts of options for "friendship" between a man and a woman.

After rereading many articles and works, I came to the conclusion that friendship between a man and a woman, as Bernard Shaw said, “is the relationship of either former lovers or future ones.” That is, no matter what you do, no matter how you are friends, sexual relations between you are a prerequisite for friendship. Is it so? Let's figure it out.

Sounds kind of stupid. Be friends, after what happened between you? After passionate kisses, tender hugs, after ruined plans for the future - and be friends? Do you believe in such friendship yourself? But someone claims that such friendship happens, and quite strong and faithful. But I hardly believe it. On the part of a woman, trying to keep a former lover as a friend is a rather unwise move. This is a serious hindrance to future romances, and jealousy for his new passions, and a constant reminder (perhaps painful) of your past relationship. You will not succeed in heartfelt conversations, but for men's work (fixing a faucet, hanging a mirror, etc.) it is better to find another candidate. And friendly sex according to the old memory is, sorry, no longer friendship.

From the subtitle it follows that friendship awaits between a man and a woman. This friendship is always a temporary state, which over time should develop into something definite. Or fall apart. Of course, there are exceptions in this case too. But, as you know, exceptions only confirm the rule.

Sexual attraction is one of the enemies of friendship. According to the survey, it is precisely this that prevents most women from making friends with men, while men, on the contrary, believe that sex will only strengthen friendship. In this situation, everything depends only on the weak half - whether she agrees to friendly sex or not. If so, goodbye, friend. And if not, then ... everything has its time. Sooner or later, the tension will become unbearable, and the "friends" will not stand it. As a rule, this happens during a difficult period for one of the friends (boyfriend / girlfriend left, failure at work, a hard day, etc.)

In addition to the main problem, there are many others.

  1. your other halves. How can you prove to them that you are just friends? This is quite difficult to do. Jealousy cannot be avoided, and, accordingly, scandals and quarrels on this topic too.
  2. Under the guise of friendship, the love of one of their friends can be hidden. You can't imagine a worse situation. You love and are friends with you. In this case, it is better to end the friendship and start the relationship as a couple. Or go different paths.
  3. A man cannot be your “girlfriend”. Of course, he can give advice no worse than any girlfriend (sometimes better), help with the choice of outfit, but in many ways your relationship is limited. The main thing is in physiological moments and bodily contact. For example, remember how we love to go to the bathroom with a friend. Or at the weekend in the sauna. You can't do this with a male friend.

These are not all the problems that stand in the way of friendship between a man and a woman. Nature itself opposes this fact, denies it. Needless to say, a man and a woman were not created for friendship. Great people have a similar opinion on this matter.

  • No one becomes a woman's friend if he can become her lover. O. Balzac
  • Friendship can end in love, but love never ends in friendship. C. K. Colton
  • Friendship between a man and a woman is very weak with the onset of night. O. von Bismarck
  • Friendship between a man and a woman is an impossible thing; between them there can be passion, enmity, adoration, love, but not friendship. O. Wilde.
  • Friendship between a man and a woman is a relationship of either former lovers or future ones. B. Show