Is friendship between a woman and a man possible: the opinion of psychologists. Is there friendship between a man and a woman

Friendship between a man and a woman is an impossible thing: there can be passion, enmity, adoration, love between them, but not friendship.

Oscar Wilde

Is it possible to agree with the quote of this classic or still angrily refute it? Are there really no other feelings in relation to the opposite sex: for example, sympathy and respect with pleasant communication. What is that if not friendship?

There are some nuances, and partly the writer is right. The psychology of friendship between a man and a woman is such that this friendship must be limited by some invisible barrier. If this barrier is jumped over, it will turn into passion and love.

What is a best friend or girlfriend

Do you have a best friend? Surely you have been friends with her since childhood, and you know each other to the smallest detail. They quarreled, reconciled, cried in a vest, cursed to the nines and still remained true to their friendship.

You may have different interests and tastes in men, but you have a powerful rapport. In addition, you can tell each other the most intimate things:

    You consult on the problems of gynecology and personal hygiene, without hiding the intricacies of anatomy.

    You talk about sexual adventures in trifles, while exchanging witticisms.

    Complain about failures in love, turning your feelings inside out in revelations.

Could you be so sincere with a guy? Of course not, because there are some limits of decency. Well, of course, if this guy is not your personal psychologist, sexologist and gynecologist all rolled into one. And you can tell your best friend everything, because she will understand you as herself.

It's the same with men. Each of them needs the best friend of their gender. A woman will not be able to trust the secret, get advice and be sure that the secret will be preserved. According to real men, who have no deviations in orientation, women are unreliable, talkative, and they will not understand all the subtleties.

Therefore, do not believe the man who says when meeting you: my best friend is one girl. Something is wrong here. Here I would like to recall the words of another great man:

Friendship between a man and a woman is a relationship of either former lovers or future ones.

Bernard Show

When friendship between the two sexes is possible

If you and I have already found out that the best friend is only a person of your gender, then is there just friendship between a man and a woman? And what is she?

In childhood, we still learn relationships with boys and girls. We get together in a company, we communicate on an equal footing with everyone, sympathy arises for someone, dislike for someone, but there is no serious love for someone from the opposite sex yet.

A little later, one of the boys begins to seriously like. This happens in much the same way as in the article. But many guys from the company remain the same as they were before - just friends. In the future, they enter "the category of bros."

A teenage company is united by many things: habitat, interests and hobbies. If in the future everything remains the same, and at least part of the heterosexual digging remains together, then their relationship can be safely called a simple friendship. And it is unlikely that any of them will fall in love. Too fraternal these relations.

And then each of this company begins a personal life: love, family, children. There is no longer that unity, but warm relations remain. It is ridiculous for a husband to be jealous, for example, of his classmate from the company when he “likes” her on her family photo on social networks. Yes, this is just a girlfriend, and he treats her like a sister.

Even if throughout his life he communicates with her, then just friendship is expressed this way:

    Remain nostalgic memories of the fun adventures of the company.

    Meetings are rare and general - with families, without face-to-face communication.

    There can be no talk of jealousy and disrespect for the beloved spouse of your friend.

    In friendship there is only sincere joy for one's comrade, there is no place for envy.

That's all. No barrier jumps. Excessive sussi-pusi, hugs and kisses really start to cause irritation. Even not every brother and sister allow themselves this.

And if a husband’s girlfriend starts calling in the middle of the night, asking for advice or help, putting herself in the first place as a friend, regardless of anything, then you need to sound the alarm. This is no longer friendship, it's time to liquidate it.

When you yourself are looking for friendship with a man

You are lonely, and everything in life has disappointed you: both stupid gossip girlfriends and men in love. “Shouldn’t I make friends with a man? An idea suddenly came into your head. “After all, it’s better to be friends with a guy than to date!”

If you are not an angular teenager, then you are already late. If you have at least some kind of relationship with your new friend, sympathy arises, and interests coincide, then your age of puberty will require its own. Even if you don't want it yet.

And so, how can you find a male friend? There are three options:

    Meet somewhere on the Internet. Start a conversation on a forum, in social networks or on a dating site.

    Find some of the old friends from childhood and adolescence, where you hung out with him in the same company.

    Make friends with a new guy or someone with whom you communicate outside of your personal life: for example, with a colleague.

Well, now let's think about what can come of this.

Online dating

In principle, there is nothing complicated in this: you do not need to worry and look good at the same time. Sit on the Internet even in curlers and a mask of cucumbers, you just need to start a correspondence with someone.

Pros and cons of such communication:

    Pros. No commitment, no sexual contact, no cheating. You promised nothing to each other, not even a meeting. Just kindred spirits and practical advice when needed. Turned on the Internet - there is a friend, turned off - there is no friend.

    Minuses. Such a relationship of souls most often leads to love. Even if you haven't seen his pictures. Soon you will notice that you need correspondence with him like air. And if there is still no opportunity to meet in life - a disaster in general.

old friend from childhood

Nowadays, it is not necessary to leaf through the phone book with phone records. Here they are all here, in social networks - classmates, friends of childhood and youth. Perhaps you tried to communicate with many of them about something, but it all ended with the phrases: “Hi! How are you?" - "Fine".

You see, you have lost contact with them all, there is no longer that teenage enthusiasm and common interests. Many men are married, and, not understanding your goals, their wives demand to stop this strange communication. Yes, and bachelors do not understand your sudden outburst of feelings for them. You are already a distant person for them, and you have even ceased to be a “sister”.

New or old acquaintance

Suppose that you just found yourself a friend, or you already had one: at work, or met through the Internet. How will you be friends with him? Just consult and go to the skating rink together? After all, you can’t do anything more than with a real friend, even if he is a bachelor:

    You can’t go to the bathhouse together just to take a steam bath.

    Don't share intimate details.

    Don't go to a pub to swell up and pick up girls (or guys).

Any similarity of interests, sympathies and kinship of souls in any way will give birth to love. And then - worse. If one of the bachelors wants to arrange a personal life, then jealousy will appear. Friendships fade away, and sexual attraction to each other begins.

So do not fool around, simple friendship between a man and a woman exists only as long as there is a barrier, rare communication and nothing personal. Look better for yourself true love without boundaries and barriers, and only in your loved one will you find a true best friend.

writer and relationship expert

If you want your evening in the company to resonate, and the disputes do not subside until the morning, simply turn up the heat by asking the most sacramental question: what about between a man and a woman? This controversy in terms of the number of parties with different opinions is not inferior, perhaps, only to the philosophical question of the chicken and the egg. Claiming that only your position is true, proving it to everyone and everyone with foam at the mouth, hitting your chest, is pointless. Therefore, I can only simply express my own opinion on this matter.

When the best friend is a woman

There are women who are not only sure that friendship between different sexes exists, but that this friendship can be strong and eternal. The limit of their trust in their man with his girlfriend is virtually inexhaustible. Such people will let their man go to the cinema if he and his friend have not seen each other for a long time, and the evening gatherings of such “friends” over a bottle of wine will not embarrass these wives. The main thing is to have a good friend! At the same time, we have an unspoken friendly obligation to support, especially in difficult times. And here is a strange situation when a friend with a pipe to his cheek calms down, and his girlfriend, cooing, complains about her chosen one, asks for a man’s advice or asks for a meeting in order to water a friendly vest with tears. Some individuals even manage to pull the adviser with visual questions, sending their photos almost in underwear with only one “interest”: what do you think, will he like it? The main thing is that the angle will always be advantageous, and the frame will always be retouched.

I consider such communication between a man and a woman to be an outright provocation, which rarely leads to the point. You can be a flamethrower, but if your job is fire, you will get burned sooner or later. Well, where do legs grow from such rubber tolerance? The need to chat "separately" or support a girlfriend, if she is bad, should make you, the man's legal companion, wonder why you are always superfluous in this company? Friendship, where a friend can easily express a desire to meet only with your husband in private, is the first bell that they are trying to take over your territory with female intricacies. And if a man with foam at the mouth defends the innocence of his girlfriend and accuses you of excessive jealousy, then your boundaries are simply violated and your dignity is infringed.

Friendzone or Friendship?

It is not for nothing that there is a strong idea that friendship between a man and a woman lasts exactly as long as one of the gender-different "friends" has a glimmer of hope for a joint future. The male friend zone is already a classic of the humorous genre. A patient friend will substitute his shoulder in time, wipe away snot-tears and then quietly replace the objectionable new ex.

Even more incomprehensible is the situation when you are just starting to meet, and your man at this moment is surrounded by caring girlfriends. That is, in this strange company you are an actual newcomer, who for some reason is sniffed and looked at

Perhaps, of course, one of the girlfriends is the one with whom he was picking in the sandbox together, also the daughter of his father's best friend. It turns out that this practically family member really has the right to transfer a man into your dearest hands from the master’s shoulder: “Take care of our boy, he is a miracle”? After all, she has been with him by the hand for fifteen years, and you are a parishioner, perhaps a temporary one! Of course, there are other, less significant girlfriends: they can listen to his complaints, occasionally drink coffee with him, perhaps even spend some time together and very actively pretend that they are only interested in friendship - there was nothing else in their thoughts ! And then they catch a wave of his suddenly bad mood and whisper with a breath in his ear: “Oh, well, you have changed so much with her, you look constantly tired, she doesn’t protect you.” Both of these are, in my opinion, completely abnormal!

On Truth and Families Friendship

In fact, everything is very simple here: the reaction and behavior of the man himself is important. Does he allow such a casting and does he allow his friends to pry into his choice, or does he still keep his distance, and he puts the girl on the honorary pedestal of the championship. Yes, and the woman herself needs to be able to distinguish a la girlfriends from good friends! Really good friends will not climb into hell, and they will not even pretend to be alone with him. Most often, a man very quickly introduces his woman to such friends, after which everyone communicates together, meeting in common companies and having fun. Such true friendship necessarily turns into a format of friendship with families, and for many, their children begin to be friends with each other in the future.

But if a man defends his “true friendship” with all his phalanxes, considering it normal to spend his free time face-to-face with a girlfriend, and even accusing you of childish jealousy and tyranny, then think about the fact that he did not put you on a pedestal . And this is not the right setting for a happy family life!

Surely many are concerned about the question of whether there is friendship between a man and a woman. This is a rather complex question, so there is no exact answer to it. One thing is for sure: friendships between two girls and between a guy and a girl will be radically different from each other. Some aspects of the relationship will be similar, but in general, such a friendship will have many differences from the one that occurs between two friends.

This is a mutually beneficial process of communication between two persons, each of which receives some specific benefit. This benefit can be of a different nature:

  • material;
  • psychological;
  • emotional.

Under the material benefit is meant something quite tangible, it is often received in the process of communication by colleagues or business partners. Sometimes this benefit can be of an energetic nature, when one person uses another to pour out his soul, thereby becoming heard, understood and having received moral satisfaction from communicating with a friend. This also includes the type of friendship when two people relax together and make each other a pleasant company, exchanging pleasant emotions and feelings.

Speaking about friendly relations between a man and a woman, you need to understand one thing: in order for this friendship to take place and be mutually beneficial for both, all factors must be taken into account.

One of them in this case is sexual desire, which, by definition, cannot be satisfied, unless, of course, this is an intimate relationship, but they are directly opposite to friendly ones.

Usually the range of activities and topics of communication in intersexual friendship is strictly limited. There are several main ones:

  • a walk to the movies;
  • joint lunches or dinners;
  • certain topics of conversation.

This list is not exhaustive, but it has limitations. Roughly speaking, a girl cannot afford to lie in the same bed with a boyfriend, as in the case of a friend, as well as tell some of her gynecological problems, such as a violation of the menstrual cycle or the appearance of strange discharge. However, this does not apply to gay friends, ex-husbands (boyfriends) or ex-lovers who later became friends.

In general, close friendship with a guy, in the usual sense of a girl, is possible only in two cases: with a gay man or an ex-husband, that is, friendship with a married man now. Otherwise, it will be a slightly different kind of relationship that has a certain framework. You can be friends with a classmate or colleague, but it will be a different, friendly friendship. This is due to the fact that, in addition to limiting the topics of communication and spending time together, there is a factor of sexual desire in such relationships. In this regard, the most effective option to avoid it would be such a friendship in which there is no mutual attraction.

Of course, there will always be some exceptions to the rules, but here it is more about a certain trend that can be traced in the friendship of a man and a woman.

The psychology of their communication is such that the attraction factor is constantly present. He is very strong and cannot be ignored. Most often, it is the man who first begins to take the initiative in this vein, while the girl does not allow him to cross a certain line of what is permitted and retains the so-called friend zone, that is, in every possible way prevents him from becoming her young man.

It turns out that a girl benefits from communicating with a man, and he, in turn, hopes to the last that this will develop into something more. Guys may not even admit this fact, without giving themselves away and not advertising their desires, but secretly they still hope to get this trophy. That is, as a rule, there is almost always a sexual interest on the part of a man.

In very rare cases, the situation can be reversed, it mainly happens when a man is successful, realized and famous. In this case, the girl may prefer friendship with him, hoping for the development of a romantic continuation, but the man avoids this relationship format in every possible way and maintains the friend zone.

In a relationship between a guy and a girl, you need to clearly understand and share several things. These include the following principles:

  1. Men need to avoid empty expectations.
  2. Girls should clearly set boundaries, that is, directly say that they do not see a sexual partner in a guy.

If a guy, having already built certain expectations towards a girl, understands and realizes that he is in the friend zone, then on this basis he may have a deep resentment or even hatred towards her. He will gradually pour out this hatred on the girl, thereby giving her an additional negative test.

Separately, it is worth mentioning the relationship between a married man and a woman. The psychology of the male representative here will again take its toll, and he will not perceive another woman as a friend, whether it be a colleague or someone else. It will not even be necessary for a woman to give some reason to create an intimate mood in him.

The most complete option for a girl's friendship with a person of the opposite sex will be gays. This can be explained by the presence of the following distinctive character traits:

  • narcissism;
  • lack of envy;
  • lack of competition;
  • impossibility of sexual attraction.

It is very easy for girls to be friends with gay narcissists, because they cannot compete with other men and will not perceive a girlfriend as a rival. In this case, homosexuals will feel very easy with women, because they pursue the same interests, such as grooming and other things.

Given the lack of competition between a woman and a gay, the latter will sincerely give advice on style and makeup, because they will not be driven by any hidden jealousy. Roughly speaking, it will be a girlfriend, only in a male guise, whose motives will not be driven by envy or related feelings, which cannot be said about women. It is often for this reason that female narcissists take gay men as friends, as they are most comfortable with them.

Intersexual friendship takes place when everyone understands what it is for. A notable feature is communication between adolescents aged 15-17 when they gather in groups and communicate. In this vein, communication between a guy and a girl can be called friendship, but only until it is colored by sexuality and flirting, that is, when they treat each other like brothers and sisters.

However, when these relationships move to a completely different stage, that is, communication in the group stops and division into pairs begins, then this is no longer friendship in its purest form. In other words, it tends to develop further. In general, we can conclude that the interaction of a guy and a girl should be considered from the side of possible or impossible family ties.

Roughly speaking, in a company, all people will treat each other equally, which is one type of human interaction. But when the division into pairs begins, then invariably some plans should be made for these people for the future. In most cases, this does not bode well and often only leads to unnecessary emotional wounds for young people. This suggests that it is better to avoid serious relationships at a young age.

Friendship between a guy and a girl is possible, but only for a certain period of time. Then it either falls apart or develops into something more. If it so happened that the former friendly relations were transformed into romantic ones, then such a connection between a man and a woman will be the strongest. There was even a large study of married couples, which revealed that the happiest and strongest are families based on friendship. This is understandable, since there are several stages in the development of intersexual relations, each of which has its own characteristics.

The most difficult stage in the development of relations, at which the possibility of their continuation is clarified, is the second year. Around this time, the so-called blind love subsides, people begin to notice the previously invisible shortcomings of the partner. If love was based only on external attractiveness, then relations usually collapse during this period. In other cases, when there was a factor of friendship before falling in love, this develops into a further wedding and family life.

In most cases, such families are the strongest, they can be called happy. The thing is that people who were once friends have formed a certain circle of common interests.

Besides, they often have a common worldview and outlook on life. This is what plays a key role in how happy family life will be.

Ordinary friendships that arise in people of the same sex cannot be applied to inter-gender relationships for the reason that the psychology of friendship between a man and a woman always implies a hidden (latent) sympathy of a romantic nature from one of the partners. More often such hidden sympathy comes from men. As a result, if you do not immediately voice your intentions, this will only lead to disappointment and even mutual hatred.

admin

Before moving on to specifics and global issues, let's determine why there is intergender intimacy without a sexual connotation. What do people who step on the thin ice of such relationships end up with.

For a woman, such a relationship promises (positive aspects):

Additional male attention;
Safe penetration into the psychological world of a man;
An interesting interlocutor;
"Brother", which the girl does not have.

This form of interaction with a man threatens to degenerate friendship into love. And the girl, perhaps, does not want such a development of events.

A man, when he gets a girl friend, hopes:

To comprehend the secret female essence;
Gain experience in communicating with the opposite sex;
Get an intelligent and / or interesting interlocutor - a "sister" or "mentor".

There is only one global danger - love!

Friendship between a man and a woman is insidious: after a year or two, a question creeps into the head of each side, and if we understand each other perfectly, maybe we should become a guy and a girl - stop?

Friendship between a man and a woman exists in the form of friendly communication on the Web.

No representative studies can be done on this subject, since it is not possible to interview men and women of all age groups on the planet (or even in one country) and establish the most complex relationships between their answers. Even the most powerful computer cannot cope with such a task - it will smoke and burn.

Therefore, thinking about the problem, and whether friendship between a man and a woman exists, one can only fix viable forms of friendly communication and the conditions for their occurrence. Let's start with .

The Internet is not only bad, but also good in anonymity. A person knows nothing about a friend from the Web, except for what he wrote on his page. On it, but they say little about a living person on the other side of the screen. The main thing is that the sexual element is excluded from such relationships. Therefore, their life is long if there is no qualitative change. True, no one is immune from trouble - falling in love with the image of the interlocutor, which a person created on his own with the help of his violent imagination.

Is there friendship between a man and a woman with a serious age difference or social inequality?

The answer is yes. In society, there is an institution of mentoring and patronage. And sometimes this type of relationship lives without any pitfalls, or rather, the main interfering force - the sexual attraction of an older comrade to a younger one. It is clear that there are far more people who are unclean and greedy for youth than decent ones. However, the latter meet, and true unity between teacher and student on the basis of parent-child relationships is possible. And here it is taken out of the brackets and does not interfere with the achievement of common goals.

Social inequality is comparable to the problem of age difference. It is difficult for a woman or a man (regardless of how old a person is) to love a brother who is lower than him in social status, and he may well be friends with him and even patronize him.

Thus, the question whether there is friendship between a man and a woman suggests the answer: yes, there is, but there are subtleties, and they are discussed above. There was a case of childhood friends - a girl and a boy.

Friendship between a man and a woman is possible if they grew up together

Let us first consider why love does not arise in such fraternal unions. People are drawn to the image. When an adult unfamiliar man and woman meet, everyone is free to dream and imagine whatever their heart desires about a partner, and then fall in love with the phantom he created.

It is difficult to imagine the same development of events between people who have known each other for a long time for four reasons:

1) A romantic halo does not arise around someone whom a person saw grimy, dirty, swimming in a puddle - childhood memories stifle passion in the bud.
2) You can’t fall in love with someone who comes to a friend and endlessly complains about life.
3) Contemplation of other people's failures does not set you in a romantic mood.
4) The last point follows from the previous ones: a person, as a rule, does not experience erotic feelings for a friend of the opposite sex, since he knows the details of the biography, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of the object of possible desire.

However, the truth of the last statement seems doubtful. After all, people love their wife or husband, but at the same time they know them quite well. Yes, this is true, but, firstly, few are able to love a spouse all their lives. Often, over time, love is replaced by habit. Secondly, detailed recognition of a sexual partner is based on the romantic image that was created a little earlier. A representation formed at the dawn of a relationship, and from an imminent breakup.

To reflect on the question, and friendship between a man and a woman is possible, it is possible endlessly, but one thing is clear: it can only be if or is excluded from the relationship of heterosexual beings.

About friendship between a man and a woman. How to save it?

Now we return to the regular situation: the boy and the girl are friends. They are the same age and met by chance. But romantic feelings are either late, or they won’t come at all. Suddenly, young people are well without sexual relations, so they decide to keep their platonic, spiritual union. How to do it?

The answer to the question consists of two points:

Satisfy a sexual need, i.e. find a partner
And avoid romantic situations with a friend.

True, there is one subtlety: if a sexual partner is able to offer not only intimate, but also spiritual intimacy, then a friend will soon be out of work. There will be no time for it.

Only one thing can be said about friendship between a man and a woman: it is no stronger than a hydrogen bond. Reference: the latter is very fragile and unstable.

Is there friendship between a man and a woman, is it real?

Difficult question. The answer here is more no than yes. Although there are exceptions to every rule. Why not? In favor of such a hypothesis are the features of a psychophysiological nature and ethical problems.

For example, should a man discuss intimate health problems with a woman friend? Of course, it is possible, but in this case, ordinary human shame comes into play, which cannot, cannot be ignored.

Is it proper to swear in front of a woman? Treats like "your boyfriend"? Permissible. But how long will this friendship last? Soon all charm will disappear from it. The same result awaits friends if the girl behaves indecently.

In addition, women and men are friends differently. Same-sex friendship is inherent in sacrificing one's own interests for the needs of another person. When people of different sexes treat each other too reverently, then the thought immediately creeps in: “But isn’t this love?”. The situation is complicated if friends have lovers. Jealousy, suspicions, doubts immediately arise.

When a person is looking for a friend, he longs for understanding. If the soul requires a friend of the opposite sex, then implicitly a person seeks not only understanding, but also love.

When, develops, matures, life confronts him with the problem of understanding, accepting him by the world and the surrounding social reality. Now this task is even more difficult than in the past, because the accelerating technological process makes a person more and more selfish and lonely.

He wants emotional warmth, but if possible, does not want to risk anything and remain in the position of "consumer". At the same time, it is impossible not to notice that fear remains the dominant feeling. People are afraid to take risks, to make mistakes, to miss, to feel pain, to lose, to be the last. In this case, the friendship of a man and a woman, if they are the same age, can act as a training field, as an attempt to get a little human warmth without risking anything.

There can be many hypotheses, but one thing is clear: the question of whether there is friendship between a man and a woman is open to this day. Each new generation, coming into the world, solves it, according to its ideas.

December 29, 2013, 10:47 am

Good day! Today I will touch on a topic that has long been of concern to mankind: “is there friendship between a man and a woman”? Be honest, have you ever thought about this? Especially in moments when a loved one had a friend of the opposite sex, and it was important to determine for yourself whether it is worth being jealous and worried, or is it still exhaling? Even if you have not been in such situations and you have a clear position on this matter, it will be useful for you to read to the end, and I am interested to know your opinion.

Definition and Factors of Friendship

To begin with, I want to draw attention to the very word "friendship", because the semantic meaning is different for everyone. Someone may consider that it does not exist at all, preferring communication with pets, considering them more sincere and devoted. Someone is able to call an unfamiliar person a friend and brother, barely remembering his name. And you can be friends against someone or for something.

I am focusing on the meaning that psychologists bring to this term, namely, intimacy. It occurs over time under the influence of certain factors and affects the emotional sphere of a person. That is, it is impossible to agree on it in advance, on its strength and immutability, especially on its duration.

Let's take a closer look at the factors themselves.

  • Interest , or the so-called points of contact. It can be a hobby, the similarity of life situations, an interest in something that, for example, shared memories, or anything, the main thing is that it causes mutual interest.
  • Confidence , after which closeness arises. Only then is friendship possible when partners can tell each other almost everything about themselves, and, moreover, mutually. Not afraid of rejection, devaluation or breach of confidentiality, but simply put, that a friend will tell someone some of your personal stories and events. Honesty and openness are essential to any close relationship.
  • Support and empathy. Life's troubles sometimes knock them down, and sometimes not only the right advice helps to recover, but also just the presence of a person who worries and is ready to support.
  • Sincerity . The opportunity to be yourself, to relax and be honest, to feel sincere interest in yourself and attention.
  • Equality . Power is replaced, in some situation it is with one, then it passes into the hands of another. Otherwise, there can be no talk of any trust and closeness. In addition, any healthy relationship is when the give-and-take process is established, without plugs and difficulties. I mean, if only one gives, and the other only receives, then it's more about using the other person, the benefit of communicating with him.
  • Respect . This does not mean that it is necessary to support all the ideas of a friend, to agree with them. It is important to listen to his opinion, not devaluing, but giving the right to otherness.

Stages and types

  1. friendship - this is the initial stage, when there is still no attachment to each other, or very weak. There is only interest and desire to have fun together. Relations without difficulties, in the form of their clarification, claims and obligations. Attachment can end at any moment when some benefit from each other stops, for example, a fun pastime.
  2. A partner can be called a good friend . At this stage, people are ready not only to have fun together, but also to provide each other with help and support, even if it is not profitable for themselves and even to the detriment. They do not pretend to occupy any exclusive place in each other's life, and especially primacy.
  3. Proximity . Such a person can be called a best friend when communication has been tested by time, during which both coped with conflicts and difficult moments. They supported each other and have many joint stories, trials that they had to go through. They can be together not only in joy, but also in grief, and in crisis, when presence and emotional support are especially important.

Exists or not?


If you notice, I used the words "partners", "people", without any emphasis on gender. And all because feelings happen, as I said, it is impossible to agree on emotions in advance. Psychology does not distinguish between the sexes, denying some kind of attachment and intimacy, or vice versa, claiming advantages. People are different and relationships are different. And those feelings that happen between them, for some reason, you always want to clothe in some form, calling it some specific term.

Firstly

If we take into account the stereotype, for example, that male-female friendship does not exist, then what should a couple of people who are close in spirit and communicate for a long time, while having families, do? Devaluate and stop communicating, despite the need to participate in each other's lives? Or become lovers without sexual attraction to each other? By the way, we approached the most important issue, because of which friendship is perceived as a myth. Namely, the question of sex. But partners do not always feel attracted to each other, even if someone does not believe it. This is first.

Secondly

Some of those who experience it are not ready to do anything with it, fearing changes in the emotional sphere, or for some other reason. Thoughts may arise about possible hypothetical sex, but this does not mean that it will happen. A person is able to experience excitement when touched in the form of a hug or a kiss at a meeting. When a partner of the same sex - this excitement is denied, not noticed and blocked, because a rare heterosexual personality will allow himself to realize it. But to the representative of the opposite sex, the brain does not block excitation.

If the desire is mutual, then people decide whether to do something with it or, in principle, they can continue to cope by realizing sexual energy with others. But it often happens that only one partner is attracted. And such a friendship is possible, just somewhat difficult, due to the fact that he will have to either hide feelings, holding in himself, which will interfere with sincerity and freedom of circulation. Or he legalizes his desires, that is, he declares them, but there is a risk and fear of disrupting the established relationship. And in general, it is very individual.

Examples

Remember the article? So, for example, in phlegmatic people the level of hormones in the body is very low, which is why they have a weak sexual interest, in melancholic people it sometimes takes an insignificant place in life. And it is important for sanguine and choleric people to feel their attractiveness and significance, so they can afford to flirt not only with unfamiliar people or those they like for themselves, but also in close, friendly relations without it.

Unfortunately, sometimes it happens when one pretends to be a friend for a certain benefit, and it does not matter whether it is conscious or not. There are more frequent cases when a man experiences sexual attraction or love for a woman, and is ready to just communicate with her, waiting for the right moment to declare this. Signs of such behavior are, in principle, easy to notice, such a person will greatly support the idea that the representatives of his gender are not good at all. He will listen to all the details of an undeveloped personal life, actually feeling jealousy, boredom and the like.

The guy will try to care, the girl will take care. But care and concern do not negate the sincerity and honesty of just friendly relations. Everything happens depending on the situation. Sometimes a woman cannot realize and correctly interpret her needs, subconsciously expecting courtship and communication in a slightly different format.

Conclusion

That's all for today, dear readers of my blog! Finally, I would like to say that if there is a holistic, conscious and ready to be near person next to you, then gender is not important, what is important is the sincerity and value of her presence in your life. In this case, the need to ask the question: "Does friendship exist between a man and a woman?" falls off on its own. Happiness to you and all the best!