The child goes to the big one in the pot. How to potty train a 3 year old. Reasons for not potty

Alenka2004 09/22/2007 at 22:39:58

SOS! 3 years old child categorically does not go to the potty or to the toilet

Tell me, please, what to do - my dad and I are on the verge of a nervous breakdown - 3 summer child pooping in his pants. It is impossible to teach, each attempt leads either to many hours of hysteria, or to retention of the chair, until we are allowed to go into the pants (somehow I endured 4 days). The diaper was removed at 1.5 years old, then he began to ask to pee.

There were no problems with peeing until last weekend, the child asked to pee and kept it at night. Again, they put a diaper on liquid stool a week ago at his own request, and now the regression has begun - the child only pees in a diaper, has stopped asking to pee and does not hold back at night. Maybe someone faced a similar situation? We don’t know what to do .... Persuasion, threats, promises do not help

Teri 09/23/2007 at 00:15:58
in no case do not scold +
we had almost the same thing. At the age of 3, he didn’t even ask to pee, poop - too: (I didn’t sit on the potty at all, I peeed only while standing, I also pooped while standing ... I didn’t sit on the toilet in a child seat ...
At the age of 3.2, we turned to a homeopath, after the first two medications, he began to go to the toilet himself, his speech began to develop (this was also a problem - a general underdevelopment of speech), he began to poop on the pot much later, only this summer, but he AM I came to this or I read that the sphincter should “ripen” .... We have such a developmental feature .... I understand you very well, it’s hard, but still, don’t scold the baby, he’s not to blame for this, there are many reasons ....
- Alenka2004 09/24/2007 at 22:42:54
  Light, thanks for your reply!
  Could you give me the coordinates of the homeopath who was contacted with this problem? You can here or if it's more convenient, by mail: [email protected]
  Thank you!
  - Teri 09/25/2007 at 00:35:37
    A well-known surname on the forum :))) +
    Rudovskaya Vera Alekseevna, Center for Homeopathy. Popova, tel. registries 234-234-1. Although it is expensive, but in last time she prescribed treatment for us (with a break) for the whole year, and 1 box of medicine now costs 6 hryvnia...
    Sveta (former Teresa), Andrey (03/10/89) and Alyoshka (04/03/03)
    No matter how much you feed a woman, she will still buy herself a bikini...
    - New_baby 09/30/2007 at 20:34:35
      and expensive - how much?
      if it `s not a secret:)
      can be in the mail or ICQ
      Thanks
      UMC 2380636
      ICQ 283050634
      - Teri 01/10/2007 at 01:01:06
        call the center, this is the registration number
        They will tell you exactly how much, I just don’t know how much now ... We visited her in early January (usually they have an increase in tariffs from the new year), so I paid in advance (until November 30) and was accepted at the old price. There is usually a monthly appointment for it ... And one more thing: the initial appointment is more expensive, and the second one is somewhat cheaper (the second visit is considered to be in the same year - not the calendar year, but the current one) reception "with students" (doctors who go to homeopathy courses - V.A. teaches there), last summer this reception cost 100 UAH ..... There are also family discounts (3 people from the same family are served in the center ) - this also needs to be clarified in the registry what's what ....
        Sveta (former Teresa), Andrey (03/10/89) and Alyoshka (04/03/03)
        No matter how much you feed a woman, she will still buy herself a bikini...
        New_baby 10/01/2007 at 09:24:39
        Thanks
        UMC 2380636
        ICQ 283050634

Angela_Shura 09/24/2007 at 01:11:37 PM

I read and, using the example of my nephews, I observed such a picture

our daughter-in-law also taught the little ones (although they have a difference of 11 years, but both cases are identical) to ask for a pot early

around 3 years older started doing everything in his pants again
the smaller one is starting to do the same

the position is as follows: like they were taught early, the child could not control himself at that age, just working out like Pavlov’s
then the child begins to feel and understand what is happening - he has a "program" failure, he needs to relearn

after a while everything will be back to normal

the smaller one also has such a bzyk now ..

I didn’t teach my own - my elder himself refused diapers in stages
little ones are now also beginning to consciously go to pee, poop, how it turns out

our doctor (homeopath) clarified with us whether children poop while standing
then I once read in the description of some drug that it is also prescribed when pooping while standing - this is one of the symptoms of some kind of malfunction in the body
I can't say anything more..

as in my opinion: well, back to diapers - well, now .... better diapers than threats-nerves
possible options for consultations on the issue: psychologist, homeopath
other specialists are unlikely to be able to understand the problem

J. R. R. Tolkien

Tanya_Slava 27/09/2007 at 10:28:08
And we started to project - if every hour you don’t plant a penny - a wet spot on panties
and if he asks himself, the pants are already wet (before that, everything was fine for almost half a year, but now he was nervous, he stutters a little, maybe this is connected with this).
- Angela_Shura 10/01/2007 at 11:51:36 AM
  Of course, nerves and incontinence are always connected...
  remove psychological problems and the consequences of a nervous breakdown - everything should stabilize ..
  Many of the living deserve death, and many of the dead deserve life. Can you return it to them? That's the same. Then do not rush to condemn to death.
  J. R. R. Tolkien

Miss_Lambert 09/23/2007 at 00:22:39

Not sure, but still...

After 1.6, everything was practically cool with us, with the exception of nuances ... It happened that they tarnished (and not only) our reputation ... At almost 2 years old, my son was operated on (a slight adjustment in orthopedics) and ... Recommended for a couple of weeks I had to walk in a diaper (just in case) until the stitches were removed ... Everything went away, the stitches were removed, life got better. But only PROBLEMS began with the pot. :((
I stubbornly tried to prove to the child that writing and pooping in shany is bad ... But ... To no avail ... And then I just stopped the pressure for a couple of weeks, then offered to do THIS, as dad does .... into the toilet ...
Believe me, slowly everything returned to normal (although pissing happened by and cleaned the latrine every day :))
In short, this is what I mean ... Of course, we were younger, but ...
Maybe for now, for a while, you will stop active pressure on cultural going to the toilet ... Maybe your little man simply became in a pose due to the active participation of his parents? And you (parents) do not need to focus on THIS problem of attention? Guys, a couple of weeks will not play the weather for you, just relax ... and do without a diaper at home ... Of course, it's not as convenient as a diaper, but there is a washing machine ... And light remarks about the fact that everything it’s still COOL to be dry and clean, and what a son, well done, that EVERYTHING comes out of him.

Nemo mimpune lacessit

Alenka2004 09/24/2007 at 22:40:08

Girls, thank you all for advice!

I'm almost relieved :-)

hukry1 09/27/2007 at 11:38:07 AM
we had this until 2.11 months
he held back his stool for up to 4 days, he was afraid himself, we had a psychological problem, as a result of a physiological one, namely, after examination in surgery, it was determined that his rectum was elongated, underwent a course of treatment + gymnastics, began to poop with a less hard stool = stopped being afraid of pain = motivated by gifts that the pot brought for each "poop eaten", as a result, he became friends with the toilet and the pot.
Although we have acquired another problem due to the fact that everything was attributed to psychology and slightly tightened physiology. Now there will be a topic above.
So I advise you to explore. And screaming really won’t help, it will only aggravate, this is from personal experience screams and resentment against the child for walking in shorts

Soleil 09/23/2007 at 02:30:24 PM

Found!

In an abbreviated form, if you don't mind :)) Fineridar has not yet been installed after reinstalling Windows :((
The boy had a problem with intestinal obstruction from birth and was operated on at an early age, but that's not the point. Parents continued to anxiously monitor whether the son's intestines were working normally. The boy misunderstood parental concern and came to the conclusion: "Dad and mom only pay attention to me when I have problems with the stool." Parents needed to develop such tactics so that the son himself realized that his behavior was ineffective. It was important that the actions of both parents carry kindness and severity at the same time. At that moment, when the parents noticed that the son had already soiled his pants, they simply hugged him silently. The essential thing was that this was done in silence, and the boy did not receive the usual negative attention from them. Parental hugs implied: "I love you, despite what you have done." Immediately after that, they moved away at a sufficient distance so as not to inhale the "aromas" (:)))) of undesirable consequences, again without saying a word. There was no need to wash him, as he did it on his own (he was 9 years old). It was precisely the manifestation of the severity of the parents that they remained next to their son during this unpleasant procedure. Already after 2 weeks. the tactic of kindness and rigor paid off. There were only 2 cases, and those occurred at a time when the family received guests and the parents were understandably embarrassed when using their tactics, so the son did not miss the opportunity to take advantage of his bad habit. And then he never did it again.
Of course, the age difference with the described boy is significant, but you can think about how to behave based on the described

Often, parents expect that the child, if not immediately, then after a couple of failures, will understand exactly what to pee and poop in a potty. If this does not happen for up to two years, then mom and dad remain relatively calm and composure. But if this does not happen after two years, then parents begin to panic: after all, in many magazines about children and on specialized sites on the Internet, they write that the most right age for . Okay, 2.5. But three years is already a critical age.

But in fact, you should not be upset and, moreover, panic. Experts believe that each child is unique, and it does not have to correspond to generally accepted patterns. By the way, it may well happen that the chosen teaching methods simply do not suit the child and you need to try something else.

The Last Effective Potty Training Techniques When All Others Have Been Tried

First advice , of course, is not to force the child, not to scold him, not to scream, not to frighten him. Such actions can for a long time discourage any impulse from the baby to "go" where it should be. If such "methods" have already taken place, then it is necessary to change them to affection and patience as soon as possible. If necessary, you need to stop trying to accustom, and continue them after a while.

Most better ways in any child's education - play . The main thing is not to turn the pot itself into a toy! If this has already happened, it is necessary to replace the pot with another one that differs in color, shape, etc.
It is also necessary to exclude mental, physiological causes potty rejection.

There are several playful forms of learning.

"The potty wants to be fed." You can come up with a fairy tale in which the main character is a pot, and tell the child that the pot needs to be “fed” and “watered”. Yes, yes, and explain to the child what the pot eats. And that without THIS pot will starve.
Role-playing games with a toy. It's not just about just planting the toy on another potty next to the baby. You need to demonstrate the whole procedure: take off your pants, panties, plant, maybe, for clarity, pour water into a pot, then pour it into the toilet. Also demonstrate what will happen if you don’t “go” to the potty on time. The doll can wet her panties, which is very unpleasant, especially if there are people around. You need to wash the doll, put on dry pants for her, and next time let her “pee” in a potty.
"The award has found its hero." It's elementary, but very effective method. The kid is simply rewarded for every successful "hike". The reward can be small inexpensive toys, stickers, pictures. The main thing here is to stop issuing "prizes" in time, otherwise the child will begin to refuse to do his business for nothing.
"Game of Accuracy". Everything is clear here: the baby is invited to accurately hit the pot. This game is more like (and suitable) for boys. You can even draw a target on the bottom of the pot.
"Adult Play". After the baby does his “wet work”, you need to take the pot with him, pour the contents into the toilet, wash the pot. If the child has not done anything, you can imperceptibly pour some water into the pot (for example, with a syringe without a needle) and repeat the procedure described above.
You can come up with some kind of game that your baby will like.

Reasons for not potty

There may be several reasons why a child cannot learn (or does not want to) use the potty.

Psychological

Such reasons include:

experienced (or experienced) stress (problems in the family, external stimuli);
fear of the pot. The child may be afraid of the pot offered to him: too bright, noisy, cold, the baby was accustomed earlier to;
crisis 3-4 years. At this age, the child is going through a crisis, can be stubborn, refuse to fulfill requests, show aggression.

Physiological

a recent illness can also have a negative impact on attempts to potty train a child;
the potty may simply be uncomfortable for the child;
potty training before the child is old enough.

Help from a psychologist

So, if you have problems with potty training, it is worth identifying and, if possible, eliminating the causes described above.
If the child still refuses to do "things" in the pot, it makes sense to contact a specialist. Indeed, some other signs of psychological problems may be present at the same time: general nervousness, deviations from normal behavior, depression.

If the baby behaves as usual, cheerful and cheerful, there is no reason to panic.

And the simplest and main advice - be patient with your beloved child, and everything will work out for you and him .

Hello, Elena

Going potty is a conditioned reflex that develops like any other habit.
Finally, this conditioned reflex is formed by the age of 4-5, when all the subcortical and median structures of the brain responsible for controlling defecation and urination finally mature. That is, there is still time, but it is not enough.
Potty training should start from the very beginning. early age. Many doctors advise starting potty training from the moment when the child can sit up on his own.
In your situation, it is necessary to develop not only an unconscious habit of urinating in a potty, but also constantly explaining why this is necessary.
First of all, the baby takes an example from her parents. If you go to the toilet, take your child with you, explain what exactly mom (or dad) is doing, what exactly is happening, what you are going to do later, that is, speak and explain to your daughter all your actions. Most importantly, always say that this "big white friend" is exactly the same as the baby. Perhaps the girl will want to go to the toilet like a mother, and not on her potty. Therefore, do not interfere with her desires, there are special pads for the toilet seat on sale, which reduce the diameter of the seat, as well as podiums (steps) to reduce the height of the toilet bowl.
Find out what exactly is connected with the reluctance to go to the potty. Perhaps, once they pinched the skin or insisted too actively, which later formed into negativism towards this pot. If you manage to agree and understand the baby, you may need to change the pot. When buying a new pot, choose physiological models, soothing colors, without any musical or light accompaniment.
Potty training a child is the mother's habit of planting the child, rather than the need of the child himself. We need to show her and explain what exactly she is doing. That when she urinates, urine flows out, show her this process, it is necessary for the baby to understand what is happening to her. That when she peed in her pants - wet and not pleasant. When focusing on the process itself, the learning process will go more efficiently. When she feels that the process of urination has begun, she will not be able to wet her panties unnoticed by her attention.
The same situation is with defecation ("big trip").
Persuasion, persistent requests, swearing do not have great influence on the process of accustoming a child to a potty, everything becomes even worse when persistent negativism to the potty is developed, the child will not be able to relax while sitting on the potty, he will be in constant expectation of screams and reproaches.
Only by your own example, a detailed explanation of all actions, with a comfortable potty (or toilet accessories), and most importantly, repeated repetition throughout the day, you can succeed.
For the first time, keep a diary of urination and bowel movements. You will be able to catch by a certain time and sit on the potty in time, the main thing is to make it comfortable for the child. The baby needs to relax. Usually, a child of 3 years old urinates 1 time in 3-4 hours, and "largely" can go 1-2 times a day. You need to calculate the time for a comfortable hike.