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Alexander Borisovich Raskin
How dad was little

FROM THE AUTHOR

DEAR GUYS!

I want to tell you how this book was born. Here is her story. I have a daughter Sasha. Now she is a big girl. She herself now often says: “When I was little ...” So, when Sasha was very young, she was sick a lot. Then she had the flu, then a sore throat. And then my ears hurt. If you have ever had otitis media, then you do not need to explain how it hurts. And if it was not, then there is no need to explain either - you will never understand this.

Once Sasha's ear hurt so much that she cried for a whole day and almost could not sleep. I felt so sorry for her that I almost cried myself. And I read different books to her or told funny stories. So I told her about how I was little and threw my new ball under the car. Sasha really liked this story. She liked that dad was also small, he was also naughty and did not obey, and he was also punished. She remembered it. And now, as soon as she started to shoot in her ear, she immediately shouted: “Dad, dad, my ear hurts! Hurry, tell me how you were little!” And I told her everything that you are about to read. I chose funny stories: after all, it was necessary to cheer up a sick girl. And I also tried to make my daughter understand how bad it is to be greedy, braggart, arrogant. But this does not mean that I myself have been like this all my life. I just tried to remember only such cases. And when I didn’t have enough of them, I took them from other dads I knew. After all, each of them, too, was once small. So all these stories are not invented by me, but were actually.

Now Sasha has grown up. She is less ill and reads large, thick books herself.

But I decided that maybe other guys are also interested in learning about how one dad was little.

That's all guys, what I wanted to tell you. No, I'll tell you one more thing in confidence. This book has a sequel. It will be different for each of you. After all, every dad can tell how he was little. And mom too. I would like to listen to them myself.

Well, now everything. Goodbye, guys! I wish you happiness and health.

respect you

A. Raskin

HOW DAD THROWED THE BALL UNDER THE CAR

When dad was still small and lived in the small town of Pavlovo-Posad, he was presented with a big ball of amazing beauty. This ball was like the sun. No, it was even better than the sun. First, you could look at him without squinting. And it was exactly four times more beautiful than the sun, because it had four colors. And the sun is only one color, and even that is difficult to see. One side of the ball was pink, like marshmallow, the other brown, like the most delicious chocolate. The top was blue like the sky, and the bottom was green like grass. Such a ball has never been seen in the small town of Pavlovo-Posad. They specially went to Moscow for him. But I think that in Moscow there were few such balls. Not only children came to see him, but also adults.

“This is the ball!” Everyone said.

And it was a really great ball. And dad was very proud. He acted as if he himself invented this ball, made it and painted it in four colors. When dad proudly went out into the street to play with his beautiful ball, the boys came running from all sides.

- Oh, what a ball! they said. - Let's play!

But dad grabbed his ball and said:

- I'm not giving it! This is my ball! Nobody has that! It was brought from Moscow! Stand back! Don't touch my ball!

And then the boys said:

- Oh, you greedy!

But dad still didn't give them his wonderful ball. He played with him alone. It's very boring to play alone. And the greedy dad deliberately played around the boys so that they would envy him.

And then the boys said:

- He is greedy. Let's not hang out with him!

And they didn't see him for two days. And on the third day they said:

- The ball is nothing to you. It's right. It's big and nicely painted. But if you throw it under a car, it will burst like the worst black ball. So there is nothing to turn up your nose so much.

My ball will never burst! - proudly said dad, who by that time was so arrogant, as if he himself had been painted in four colors.

- How it will burst! the boys laughed.

- No, it won't burst!

“Here comes the car,” said the boys. - Well, what are you? Drop it! Or scared?

And little dad threw his ball under the car. For a minute, everyone froze. The ball rolled between the front wheels and landed under the right rear wheel. The car all warped, moved the ball and rushed on. And the ball remained lying completely unharmed.

- Didn't burst! Didn't burst! Dad shouted and ran to his ball. But then there was such a noise, as if fired from a small cannon. It burst the ball. And when dad ran up to him, he saw only a dusty rubber rag, completely ugly and uninteresting. And then dad started crying and ran home. And the boys laughed with all their might.

- Bursted! Bursted! they shouted. "That's what you want, greedy!"

When dad ran home and said that he himself threw his wonderful new ball under the car, he was immediately spanked by his grandmother. In the evening, grandfather came home from work and also spanked him.

At the same time, he said:

- I don’t hit for the ball, but for stupidity.

And for a long time afterwards everyone was surprised: how could it be possible to throw such a good ball under a car?

Only a very stupid boy could do that! everyone said.

And for a long time everyone teased dad and asked:

Where is your new ball?

And only one uncle did not laugh. He asked his father to tell him everything from the very beginning. Then he said:

No, you're not stupid!

And dad was very happy.

“But you are greedy and boastful,” said the uncle. "And it's very sad for you." Anyone who wants to play alone with his ball is always left with nothing. This happens to both children and adults. So it will be for you all your life, if you remain the same.

And then dad was very scared, and wept with all his strength, and said that he did not want to be greedy and boastful. He cried so long and so loudly that his uncle believed him and bought a new ball. True, he was not so handsome. But then all the neighbor boys played with this ball. And it was fun, and no one teased dad with a greedy man.

HOW DAD TAMED THE DOG

When dad was still small, he was taken to the circus. It was very interesting. He especially liked the tamer of wild animals. He dressed very beautifully, called himself very beautifully, and all the lions and tigers were afraid of him. He had a whip and pistols, but he hardly used them.

“And the animals are afraid of my eyes!” he said from the arena. “My mind is my strongest weapon!” The wild beast cannot stand the human gaze!

Indeed, as soon as he looked at the lion, he sat down on the pedestal, jumped on the barrel and even pretended to be dead, unable to bear his gaze.

The orchestra played carcasses, the audience clapped their hands, everyone looked at the tamer, and he pressed his hands to his heart and bowed in all directions. It was great! And dad decided that he, too, would become a tamer. To begin with, he planned to tame with his gaze some not very wild beast. After all, my father was still small. He understood that such large animals as a lion and a tiger were too tough for him. You need to start with a dog and, of course, not a very big one, because a big dog is already almost a small lion. But a smaller dog would be just right.

And such an opportunity soon presented itself.

In the small town of Pavlovo-Posad there was a small city garden. Now there is a large park of culture and recreation, but that was a very long time ago. Grandma went for a walk in this garden with her little dad. Dad was playing, grandma was reading a book, and a well-dressed lady with a dog was sitting nearby. The lady was also reading a book. And the dog was small, white, with big black eyes. With those big black eyes, she looked at little daddy as if she were telling him: “I really want to be tamed! Please boy, tame me. I can't stand the human gaze at all!"

And little dad went through the whole garden to tame this dog. Grandma was reading a book, and the dog owner was reading a book, and they didn't see anything. The dog lay under the bench and looked mysteriously at dad with its big black eyes. Papa walked very slowly (after all, he was still very small) and thought: “Oh, it seems she can stand my gaze ... Maybe it was still better to start with a lion? She seems to have changed her mind about being tamed."

It was a very hot day and dad was wearing only sandals and panties. Dad walked, and the dog lay still and was silent. But, when dad came very close, she suddenly jumped up and bit him in the stomach. Then it became very noisy in the city garden. Papa screamed. Grandma screamed. The dog owner screamed. And the dog barked loudly. Papa shouted:

- Oh, she bit me!

Grandma screamed:

Oh, she bit him!

The dog owner screamed:

“He teased her, she doesn’t bite at all!”

What the dog screamed, you yourself understand. Various people came running and shouted:

- Disgrace!

Then the watchman came and asked:

“Boy, did you tease her?”

“No,” said dad, “I tamed her.

Then everyone laughed, and the watchman asked:

– How did you do it?

“I went to her and looked at her,” Dad said. “Now I see that she cannot stand the human eye.

Again everyone laughed.

“You see,” said the lady, “the boy is to blame. Nobody asked him to tame my dog. And you,” she said to her grandmother, “should be fined so that you look after your children!”

Grandma was so surprised that she didn't say anything. She just gasped. Then the watchman said:

- Here hangs the announcement: "Do not drive dogs!". If there was an announcement: “Do not bring children!”, I would fine a citizen with a child. And now I will fine you. And I ask you to leave with your dog. The child is playing and the dog is biting. You can play here, but you can’t bite! But you also need to play smart. After all, the dog does not know why you went to her. Maybe you wanted to bite her yourself? She doesn't know this. Understood?

“Understood,” Dad replied. He no longer wanted to be a tamer. And after the vaccinations that he was given just in case, he was completely disappointed in this profession.

As for the unbearable human gaze, he now also had his own opinion. And when he later met a boy who was trying to somehow pluck out the eyelashes of a big and angry dog, then dad and this boy understood each other very well.

And the fact that this boy was not bitten in the stomach did not matter, because he was bitten on both cheeks at once. And this, as they say, immediately caught my eye. And he was still vaccinated in the stomach.

HOW DAD WROTE POETRY

When dad was still little, he read a lot. He learned to read at the age of four and did not want to do anything else. While other children were jumping, running, playing various interesting games, little dad read and read everything. Finally, it worried grandpa and grandma. They decided that reading all the time is bad. They stopped giving him books and allowed him to read only three hours a day. But it did not help. Little dad still read from morning to evening. He read his legal three hours, sitting in plain sight. Then he went into hiding. He hid under the bed and read under the bed. He hid in the attic and read in the attic. He went to the hayloft and read in the hayloft. It was especially pleasant here. It smelled like fresh hay. There were screams from the house: they were looking for little dad under all the beds. Dad only showed up for dinner. He was punished. He ate quickly and went to bed. At night he woke up and turned on the light. He read everything until the morning. "Crocodile" Chukovsky. Pushkin's Tales. "A Thousand and One Nights" "Gulliver". "Robinson". There were so many wonderful books in the world! He wanted to read them all to one. The hours passed quickly. Grandmother came in, took away the book and put out the light. After a while, little daddy turned on the light again and took out another book, just as interesting. Grandfather would come in, take away the book, turn off the light, and in the dark spank little dad for a long time.

It didn't hurt much, but it was annoying.

It all ended very badly. Firstly, little dad ruined his eyes: after all, it was a little dark under the bed, in the attic and in the hayloft. In addition, lately he managed to read, covering himself with a blanket with his head and leaving only a small window for light. And reading lying down and in the dark is very harmful. And little dad had to wear glasses.

In addition, little dad wrote poems:

He saw the cat and said: - Here
Cat!
He saw the dog and said: - Tuzik,
Where is your card?
He saw a rooster and said: - Cockerel, cockerel,
How much tooth powder?
He saw his dad and said: “Father!
Give me a lollipop!

Grandma and Grandpa liked the poem very much. They wrote them down. They read them to the guests. They let them write off. Now, when guests came, they asked little dad:

- Read your poems!

And little dad read with pleasure a new verse about a cat, which ended like this:

Vaska the cat is not shy
And jumped out the window!

The guests laughed a lot. They understood that these were very bad poems. Anyone can write like that. But little daddy thought the poems were very good. He thought the guests were laughing with pleasure. He decided that he was already a writer. He read poetry at all birthday parties. He read before the pie and after the pie. When Aunt Liza got married, he also read poetry. And then it didn’t work out very well, because the verses began like this:

Aunt Liza is getting married!
Who could expect such a surprise?

After these words, all the guests laughed for a long time, and Aunt Liza began to cry and went to her room. The groom did not laugh either, although he did not cry. True, the pope was not punished. But he did not want to offend Aunt Liza at all. And in general, he noticed that some of his acquaintances stopped liking his poems. And once he even overheard one guest say to another:

- Again this child prodigy will perform with his nonsense!

Then dad went to grandma and asked:

- What is a child prodigy?

“This is an extraordinary child,” said the grandmother.

– What does he do?

“Well, he plays the violin, or he counts in his head, or he doesn’t pester his mother with questions.

- When does he grow up?

“Then he most often becomes an ordinary person.

“Thank you,” Dad said, “I understand.

And on the following name days, dad no longer read poetry.

He said he had a headache. And since then he has not written poetry for a very long time. And even now, when he is asked to read his poems on a name day, his head immediately begins to hurt.

HOW DAD BITE THE PROFESSOR

When dad was still little, he was very sick. He had a cold all the time. He sneezed, then coughed, then his throat hurt, then his ear. And finally he was taken to the doctor, who had an inscription on the door: "Ear, throat, nose."

- Is that his last name? Little dad asked grandpa and grandma.

“No,” they said, “he cures all of this. And keep quiet!

After looking at daddy's ear, daddy's throat and daddy's nose, the doctor said that an operation should be done. And dad was taken to Moscow. He had to cut out his adenoids.

A very old, very strict, very gray-haired professor said to him:

- Boy, open your mouth!

And when dad opened his mouth, without even saying thank you, he reached into it with his hand, and climbed somewhere very deep, and began to mess around there. It was very painful and unpleasant. Therefore, when the professor said: “Here they are, my dears!” - and pressed even harder, he suddenly screamed terribly and pulled his hand out of his father's mouth much faster than he put it there. And everyone saw blood on his thumb. It became very quiet. Then the professor said:

He was given iodine, and he lubricated his thumb. Then he said:

- Bandage and cotton!

They gave him a bandage and cotton wool, and he himself bandaged his finger with one hand.

“I have been working for forty years. First time they bite me. Let whoever wants to operate on this boy. I'm leaving! I wash hands!

After that, he really washed his hands with soap and left. Then the grandfather became very angry with the father. He said:

- You were taken to Moscow! You are being treated! What are you doing? Mind you, there's a dentist's office nearby. And there they pull out the teeth of those boys who bite doctors. Maybe you want to go there first? And I also promised you ice cream after the operation!

Hearing about ice cream, dad thought. The thing is, they didn't give him ice cream. They were afraid that he would catch a cold in his ear, throat, nose. And my dad loved ice cream. And he was told that after the operation, all children must be given ice cream - it is very useful, it stops the blood. Then they really did. And, thinking about ice cream, dad said:

- I won't do it again...

But still, the young doctor who performed the operation warned dad:

Remember, you promised!

And dad said again:

- I won't...

Dad was put in a chair and held by the arms and legs. But it's not because he bit. This is done with all children so that they do not interfere with the doctor. It was very painful. But dad thought about ice cream and endured everything. Then the doctor said:

- OK it's all over Now! Well done! Didn't even cry.

Dad was very happy. But then the doctor shouted:

“Oh, sorry, there’s still a piece left!” Can you take a little more?

“I’ll be patient,” said dad, and again began to think about ice cream.

- Well, - said the doctor, - now it's all! Well done! So I didn't cry! Now you can ice cream. What do you love?

“Creamy,” said dad and looked at grandfather. But Grandpa was still angry with Papa.

- No ice cream! he said. “Let him not bite.

And then, realizing that there would be no ice cream, dad began to cry. And everyone took pity on him. But the grandfather did not give in. And Pale was so offended that he still remembers it. And no matter how much he ate ice cream since then - and cream, and chocolate, and strawberry, he cannot forget the one that was promised to him then, after the operation.

Dad got sick less. He sneezed less, coughed less, his throat and even his ear hurt less.

The operation helped my dad a lot. And he realized then that it is worth a little patience, so that later it gets better. And although various doctors later cut and pricked him a lot, he did not bite any of them. He knew it was for his benefit. He just bought himself ice cream every time. Because dad still loves ice cream.

HOW DAD CHOOSE A PROFESSION

When dad was little, he was often asked the same question. They asked him: “Who will you be? And dad always answered this question without hesitation. But each time he answered differently. At first, dad wanted to become a night watchman. He really liked that everyone was sleeping, but the watchman was not sleeping. And then he really liked the mallet with which the night watchman knocks. And the fact that you can make noise when everyone is sleeping made dad very happy. He was determined to become a night watchman when he grew up. But then an ice cream seller appeared with a beautiful green cart. You could move the cart! You could eat ice cream!

“I’ll sell one portion, I’ll eat one! - Dad thought. - And I will treat little children to ice cream for free.

Little dad's parents were very surprised to learn that their son would be an ice cream man. They laughed at him for a long time. But he firmly chose this cheerful and tasty profession. But one day, little dad saw an amazing person at the railway station. This man played all the time with wagons and locomotives. Yes, not with toys, but with real ones! He jumped onto the platforms, crawled under the carriages and all the time played some wonderful game.

- Who is it? Dad asked.

- This is a wagon coupler, - they answered him. And then little dad finally realized who he would be.

Just think about it! Coupling and uncoupling wagons! What could be more interesting in the world? Of course, nothing could be more interesting. When dad announced that he would be a coupler on the railroad, one of his acquaintances asked:

- What about ice cream?

This is where dad thought about it. He firmly decided to become a coupler. But he didn't want to give up the green ice cream cart either. And then little dad found a way out.

- I'll be a coupler and an ice cream man! he said.

Everyone was very surprised. But little dad explained to them. He said:

- It's not difficult at all. In the morning I will go with ice cream. I look like, I look like, and then I will run to the station. I'll hitch trailers there and run back to the ice cream. Then I run back to the station, unhook the wagons and run again to the ice cream. And so all the time. And I will put the trolley close to the station so as not to run far to couple and uncouple.

Everyone laughed a lot. Then little dad got angry and said:

- And if you laugh, then I'll still work as a night watchman. After all, I have a free night. And I already know how to knock on a beater. One guard gave me a try ...

So dad arranged everything. But soon he wanted to become a pilot. Then he wanted to become an artist and play on stage. Then he visited the same factory with his grandfather and decided to become a turner. In addition, he really wanted to become a cabin boy on a ship. Or, in extreme cases, go to the shepherds and walk with the cows all day long, loudly clicking the whip. And once he most of all in his life wanted to become a dog. All day long he ran on all fours, barked at strangers, and even tried to bite one elderly woman when she wanted to pat him on the head. Little daddy learned to bark very well, but he couldn’t learn how to scratch his foot behind the ear, although he tried his best. And to make it better, he went out into the yard and sat next to Tuzik. And an unfamiliar military man was walking along the street. He stopped and looked at his dad. Looked, looked, and then asked:

"What are you doing, boy?"

“I want to be a dog,” said little dad. Then an unfamiliar military man asked:

"Don't you want to be a human?"

“And I’ve been a man for a long time!” Dad said.

“What kind of person are you,” the military man said, “if even a dog doesn’t work out of you?” Is such a person?

- And what is it? Dad asked.

- So you think? - said the soldier and left. He didn't laugh at all, he didn't even smile. But for some reason little dad felt very ashamed. And he began to think. He thought and thought, and the more he thought, the more he felt ashamed. The military man did not explain anything to him. But he himself suddenly realized that it was impossible to choose a new profession every day. And most importantly, he realized that he was still small and that he himself did not yet know who he would be. When asked about it again, he remembered the military man and said:

- I'll be a man!

And then no one laughed. And little dad realized that this was the most correct answer. And now he thinks so too. First of all, you have to be a good person. This is the most important thing for the pilot, and for the turner, and for the shepherd, and for the artist. A person does not need to scratch his foot behind the ear at all.

And such an opportunity soon presented itself.

In the small town of Pavlovo-Posad there was a small city garden. Now there is a large park of culture and recreation, but that was a very long time ago. Grandma went for a walk in this garden with her little dad. Dad was playing, grandma was reading a book, and a well-dressed lady with a dog was sitting nearby. The lady was also reading a book. And the dog was small, white, with big black eyes. With those big black eyes, she looked at little daddy as if she were telling him: “I really want to be tamed! Please boy, tame me. I can't stand the human gaze at all!"

And little dad went through the whole garden to tame this dog. Grandma was reading a book, and the dog owner was reading a book, and they didn't see anything. The dog lay under the bench and looked mysteriously at dad with its big black eyes. Papa walked very slowly (after all, he was still very small) and thought: “Oh, it seems she can stand my gaze ... Maybe it was still better to start with a lion? She seems to have changed her mind about being tamed."

It was a very hot day and dad was wearing only sandals and panties. Dad walked, and the dog lay still and was silent. But, when dad came very close, she suddenly jumped up and bit him in the stomach. Then it became very noisy in the city garden. Papa screamed. Grandma screamed. The dog owner screamed. And the dog barked loudly. Papa shouted:

- Oh, she bit me!

Grandma screamed:

Oh, she bit him!

The dog owner screamed:

“He teased her, she doesn’t bite at all!”

What the dog screamed, you yourself understand. Various people came running and shouted:

- Disgrace!

Then the watchman came and asked:

“Boy, did you tease her?”

“No,” said dad, “I tamed her.

Then everyone laughed, and the watchman asked:

– How did you do it?

“I went to her and looked at her,” Dad said. “Now I see that she cannot stand the human eye.

Again everyone laughed.

“You see,” said the lady, “the boy is to blame. Nobody asked him to tame my dog. And you,” she said to her grandmother, “should be fined so that you look after your children!”

Grandma was so surprised that she didn't say anything. She just gasped. Then the watchman said:

- Here hangs the announcement: "Do not drive dogs!". If there was an announcement: “Do not bring children!”, I would fine a citizen with a child. And now I will fine you. And I ask you to leave with your dog. The child is playing and the dog is biting. You can play here, but you can’t bite! But you also need to play smart. After all, the dog does not know why you went to her. Maybe you wanted to bite her yourself? She doesn't know this. Understood?

“Understood,” Dad replied. He no longer wanted to be a tamer. And after the vaccinations that he was given just in case, he was completely disappointed in this profession.

As for the unbearable human gaze, he now also had his own opinion. And when he later met a boy who was trying to somehow pluck out the eyelashes of a big and angry dog, then dad and this boy understood each other very well.

And the fact that this boy was not bitten in the stomach did not matter, because he was bitten on both cheeks at once. And this, as they say, immediately caught my eye. And he was still vaccinated in the stomach.

When dad was still little, he read a lot. He learned to read at the age of four and did not want to do anything else. While other children were jumping, running, playing various interesting games, little dad read and read everything. Finally, it worried grandpa and grandma. They decided that reading all the time is bad. They stopped giving him books and allowed him to read only three hours a day. But it did not help. Little dad still read from morning to evening. He read his legal three hours, sitting in plain sight. Then he went into hiding. He hid under the bed and read under the bed. He hid in the attic and read in the attic. He went to the hayloft and read in the hayloft. It was especially pleasant here. It smelled like fresh hay. There were screams from the house: they were looking for little dad under all the beds. Dad only showed up for dinner. He was punished. He ate quickly and went to bed. At night he woke up and turned on the light. He read everything until the morning. "Crocodile" Chukovsky. Pushkin's Tales. "A Thousand and One Nights" "Gulliver". "Robinson". There were so many wonderful books in the world! He wanted to read them all to one. The hours passed quickly. Grandmother came in, took away the book and put out the light. After a while, little daddy turned on the light again and took out another book, just as interesting. Grandfather would come in, take away the book, turn off the light, and in the dark spank little dad for a long time.

It didn't hurt much, but it was annoying.

It all ended very badly. Firstly, little dad ruined his eyes: after all, it was a little dark under the bed, in the attic and in the hayloft. In addition, lately he managed to read, covering himself with a blanket with his head and leaving only a small window for light. And reading lying down and in the dark is very harmful. And little dad had to wear glasses.

In addition, little dad wrote poems:

He saw the cat and said: - Here

He saw the dog and said: - Tuzik,

Where is your card?

He saw a rooster and said: - Cockerel, cockerel,

How much tooth powder?

He saw his dad and said: “Father!

Give me a lollipop!

Grandma and Grandpa liked the poem very much. They wrote them down. They read them to the guests. They let them write off. Now, when guests came, they asked little dad:

- Read your poems!

And little dad read with pleasure a new verse about a cat, which ended like this:

- Again this child prodigy will perform with his nonsense!

Then dad went to grandma and asked:

- What is a child prodigy?

“This is an extraordinary child,” said the grandmother.

– What does he do?

“Well, he plays the violin, or he counts in his head, or he doesn’t pester his mother with questions.

- When does he grow up?

“Then he most often becomes an ordinary person.

“Thank you,” Dad said, “I understand.

And on the following name days, dad no longer read poetry.

He said he had a headache. And since then he has not written poetry for a very long time. And even now, when he is asked to read his poems on a name day, his head immediately begins to hurt.

Alexander Borisovich Raskin

How dad was little

DEAR GUYS!

I want to tell you how this book was born. Here is her story. I have a daughter Sasha. Now she is a big girl. She herself now often says: “When I was little ...” So, when Sasha was very young, she was sick a lot. Then she had the flu, then a sore throat. And then my ears hurt. If you have ever had otitis media, then you do not need to explain how it hurts. And if it was not, then there is no need to explain either - you will never understand this.

Once Sasha's ear hurt so much that she cried for a whole day and almost could not sleep. I felt so sorry for her that I almost cried myself. And I read different books to her or told funny stories. So I told her about how I was little and threw my new ball under the car. Sasha really liked this story. She liked that dad was also small, he was also naughty and did not obey, and he was also punished. She remembered it. And now, as soon as she started to shoot in her ear, she immediately shouted: “Dad, dad, my ear hurts! Hurry, tell me how you were little!” And I told her everything that you are about to read. I chose funny stories: after all, it was necessary to cheer up a sick girl. And I also tried to make my daughter understand how bad it is to be greedy, braggart, arrogant. But this does not mean that I myself have been like this all my life. I just tried to remember only such cases. And when I didn’t have enough of them, I took them from other dads I knew. After all, each of them, too, was once small. So all these stories are not invented by me, but were actually.

Now Sasha has grown up. She is less ill and reads large, thick books herself.

But I decided that maybe other guys are also interested in learning about how one dad was little.

That's all guys, what I wanted to tell you. No, I'll tell you one more thing in confidence. This book has a sequel. It will be different for each of you. After all, every dad can tell how he was little. And mom too. I would like to listen to them myself.

Well, now everything. Goodbye, guys! I wish you happiness and health.

respect you

A. Raskin

HOW DAD THROWED THE BALL UNDER THE CAR

When dad was still small and lived in the small town of Pavlovo-Posad, he was presented with a big ball of amazing beauty. This ball was like the sun. No, it was even better than the sun. First, you could look at him without squinting. And it was exactly four times more beautiful than the sun, because it had four colors. And the sun is only one color, and even that is difficult to see. One side of the ball was pink, like marshmallow, the other brown, like the most delicious chocolate. The top was blue like the sky, and the bottom was green like grass. Such a ball has never been seen in the small town of Pavlovo-Posad. They specially went to Moscow for him. But I think that in Moscow there were few such balls. Not only children came to see him, but also adults.

“This is the ball!” Everyone said.

And it was a really great ball. And dad was very proud. He acted as if he himself invented this ball, made it and painted it in four colors. When dad proudly went out into the street to play with his beautiful ball, the boys came running from all sides.

- Oh, what a ball! they said. - Let's play!

But dad grabbed his ball and said:

- I'm not giving it! This is my ball! Nobody has that! It was brought from Moscow! Stand back! Don't touch my ball!

And then the boys said:

- Oh, you greedy!

But dad still didn't give them his wonderful ball. He played with him alone. It's very boring to play alone. And the greedy dad deliberately played around the boys so that they would envy him.

And then the boys said:

- He is greedy. Let's not hang out with him!

And they didn't see him for two days. And on the third day they said:

- The ball is nothing to you. It's right. It's big and nicely painted. But if you throw it under a car, it will burst like the worst black ball. So there is nothing to turn up your nose so much.

My ball will never burst! - proudly said dad, who by that time was so arrogant, as if he himself had been painted in four colors.

- How it will burst! the boys laughed.

- No, it won't burst!

“Here comes the car,” said the boys. - Well, what are you? Drop it! Or scared?

my daughter

DEAR GUYS!

I want to tell you how this book was born. Here is her story. I have a daughter Sasha. Now she is a big girl. She herself now often says: “When I was little ...” So, when Sasha was very young, she was sick a lot. Then she had the flu, then a sore throat. And then my ears hurt. If you have ever had otitis media, then you do not need to explain how it hurts. And if it was not, then there is no need to explain either - you will never understand this.

Once Sasha's ear hurt so much that she cried for a whole day and almost could not sleep. I felt so sorry for her that I almost cried myself. And I read different books to her or told funny stories. So I told her about how I was little and threw my new ball under the car. Sasha really liked this story. She liked that dad was also small, he was also naughty and did not obey, and he was also punished. She remembered it. And now, as soon as she started to shoot in her ear, she immediately shouted: “Dad, dad, my ear hurts! Hurry, tell me how you were little!” And I told her everything that you are about to read. I chose funny stories: after all, it was necessary to cheer up a sick girl. And I also tried to make my daughter understand how bad it is to be greedy, braggart, arrogant. But this does not mean that I myself have been like this all my life. I just tried to remember only such cases. And when I didn’t have enough of them, I took them from other dads I knew. After all, each of them, too, was once small. So all these stories are not invented by me, but were actually.

Now Sasha has grown up. She is less ill and reads large, thick books herself.

But I decided that maybe other guys are also interested in learning about how one dad was little.

That's all guys, what I wanted to tell you. No, I'll tell you one more thing in confidence. This book has a sequel. It will be different for each of you. After all, every dad can tell how he was little. And mom too. I would like to listen to them myself.

Well, now everything. Goodbye, guys! I wish you happiness and health.

respect you

A. Raskin

When dad was still small and lived in the small town of Pavlovo-Posad, he was presented with a big ball of amazing beauty. This ball was like the sun. No, it was even better than the sun. First, you could look at him without squinting. And it was exactly four times more beautiful than the sun, because it had four colors. And the sun is only one color, and even that is difficult to see. One side of the ball was pink, like marshmallow, the other brown, like the most delicious chocolate. The top was blue like the sky, and the bottom was green like grass. Such a ball has never been seen in the small town of Pavlovo-Posad. They specially went to Moscow for him. But I think that in Moscow there were few such balls. Not only children came to see him, but also adults.

“This is the ball!” Everyone said.

And it was a really great ball. And dad was very proud. He acted as if he himself invented this ball, made it and painted it in four colors. When dad proudly went out into the street to play with his beautiful ball, the boys came running from all sides.

- Oh, what a ball! they said. - Let's play!

But dad grabbed his ball and said:

- I'm not giving it! This is my ball! Nobody has that! It was brought from Moscow! Stand back! Don't touch my ball!

And then the boys said:

- Oh, you greedy!

But dad still didn't give them his wonderful ball. He played with him alone. It's very boring to play alone. And the greedy dad deliberately played around the boys so that they would envy him.

And then the boys said:

- He is greedy. Let's not hang out with him!

And they didn't see him for two days. And on the third day they said:

- The ball is nothing to you. It's right. It's big and nicely painted. But if you throw it under a car, it will burst like the worst black ball. So there is nothing to turn up your nose so much.

My ball will never burst! - proudly said dad, who by that time was so arrogant, as if he himself had been painted in four colors.

- How it will burst! the boys laughed.

- No, it won't burst!

“Here comes the car,” said the boys. - Well, what are you? Drop it! Or scared?

And little dad threw his ball under the car. For a minute, everyone froze. The ball rolled between the front wheels and landed under the right rear wheel. The car all warped, moved the ball and rushed on. And the ball remained lying completely unharmed.

- Didn't burst! Didn't burst! Dad shouted and ran to his ball. But then there was such a noise, as if fired from a small cannon. It burst the ball. And when dad ran up to him, he saw only a dusty rubber rag, completely ugly and uninteresting. And then dad started crying and ran home. And the boys laughed with all their might.

- Bursted! Bursted! they shouted. "That's what you want, greedy!"

When dad ran home and said that he himself threw his wonderful new ball under the car, he was immediately spanked by his grandmother. In the evening, grandfather came home from work and also spanked him.

At the same time, he said:

- I don’t hit for the ball, but for stupidity.

And for a long time afterwards everyone was surprised: how could it be possible to throw such a good ball under a car?

Only a very stupid boy could do that! everyone said.

And for a long time everyone teased dad and asked:

Where is your new ball?

And only one uncle did not laugh. He asked his father to tell him everything from the very beginning. Then he said:

No, you're not stupid!

And dad was very happy.

“But you are greedy and boastful,” said the uncle. "And it's very sad for you." Anyone who wants to play alone with his ball is always left with nothing. This happens to both children and adults. So it will be for you all your life, if you remain the same.

And then dad was very scared, and wept with all his strength, and said that he did not want to be greedy and boastful. He cried so long and so loudly that his uncle believed him and bought a new ball. True, he was not so handsome. But then all the neighbor boys played with this ball. And it was fun, and no one teased dad with a greedy man.

When dad was still small, he was taken to the circus. It was very interesting. He especially liked the tamer of wild animals. He dressed very beautifully, called himself very beautifully, and all the lions and tigers were afraid of him. He had a whip and pistols, but he hardly used them.

“And the animals are afraid of my eyes!” he said from the arena. “My mind is my strongest weapon!” The wild beast cannot stand the human gaze!

Indeed, as soon as he looked at the lion, he sat down on the pedestal, jumped on the barrel and even pretended to be dead, unable to bear his gaze.

The orchestra played carcasses, the audience clapped their hands, everyone looked at the tamer, and he pressed his hands to his heart and bowed in all directions. It was great! And dad decided that he, too, would become a tamer. To begin with, he planned to tame with his gaze some not very wild beast. After all, my father was still small. He understood that such large animals as a lion and a tiger were too tough for him. You need to start with a dog and, of course, not a very big one, because a big dog is already almost a small lion. But a smaller dog would be just right.

Alexander Borisovich Raskin

DEAR GUYS!

I want to tell you how this book was born. Here is her story. I have a daughter Sasha. Now she is a big girl. She herself now often says: “When I was little ...” So, when Sasha was very young, she was sick a lot. Then she had the flu, then a sore throat. And then my ears hurt. If you have ever had otitis media, then you do not need to explain how it hurts. And if it was not, then there is no need to explain either - you will never understand this.

Once Sasha's ear hurt so much that she cried for a whole day and almost could not sleep. I felt so sorry for her that I almost cried myself. And I read different books to her or told funny stories. So I told her about how I was little and threw my new ball under the car. Sasha really liked this story. She liked that dad was also small, he was also naughty and did not obey, and he was also punished. She remembered it. And now, as soon as she started to shoot in her ear, she immediately shouted: “Dad, dad, my ear hurts! Hurry, tell me how you were little!” And I told her everything that you are about to read. I chose funny stories: after all, it was necessary to cheer up a sick girl. And I also tried to make my daughter understand how bad it is to be greedy, braggart, arrogant. But this does not mean that I myself have been like this all my life. I just tried to remember only such cases. And when I didn’t have enough of them, I took them from other dads I knew. After all, each of them, too, was once small. So all these stories are not invented by me, but were actually.

Now Sasha has grown up. She is less ill and reads large, thick books herself.

But I decided that maybe other guys are also interested in learning about how one dad was little.

That's all guys, what I wanted to tell you. No, I'll tell you one more thing in confidence. This book has a sequel. It will be different for each of you. After all, every dad can tell how he was little. And mom too. I would like to listen to them myself.

Well, now everything. Goodbye, guys! I wish you happiness and health.

respect you
A. Raskin