How to catch a wife cheating: methods of how to get a confession. Caught cheating, what to do? Seek professional advice

Remember the old joke about how a husband finds his better half in bed with his lover? Looking straight at her husband, she asks: “Will you believe your eyes or what I tell you?” Not funny? Actually, as in life - when you are convicted of treason, it becomes not at all a laughing matter.

Whether the husband found a love letter, found you in the arms of another, whether he overheard the conversation, the neighbor informed, or his intuition is highly developed - the main thing is that now he knows everything. And you are not joking at all. Whether this connection was accidental or you fell in love seriously, whether it became revenge for your husband’s past adventures or an experiment, whether this sex was for the sake of sex or the culmination of a long-standing friendship, it doesn’t matter now. Your marriage is in jeopardy.

Unlike a woman who decides to confess to her husband herself and can think about why, when, where and how to tell the whole truth, a woman caught off guard does not have time to figure out what and how to say. She must make the most difficult decisions with lightning speed, and in an environment that is clearly not suitable for a confidential conversation.

How to behave correctly if you are "caught", no one will tell you. Do I need to tell everything or not, and what to do at this moment? Even experts on family and marriage issues and the smartest psychologists do not have a single opinion on this matter. And the "insidious traitor" herself is at first unable to intelligibly explain anything and is unlikely to realize what's what. It is quite possible that she needs time to understand what happened, to understand herself, to think.

On a love adventure in which, at first glance, we are talking only about “carnal temptation”, a woman can be pushed by experiences that have not found a way out (still childish), which she herself does not remember. It may be the result of a secret desire to create love triangle in which men would covet her love, and she would not belong to anyone wholly.

The cause may be sexual attraction, rage, fear, self-doubt, or all of these combined. With the same success, the reason for connection can be an urgent need for intimacy - and a fear of intimacy. A woman can go astray from the "true path" because of a sense of her own uselessness or, conversely, in protest - when she is constantly led on a short leash.

In a word, according to some, there can be many reasons. Others justify extramarital affairs with a simple desire for companionship, which marital relationships often lack. Of course, caught red-handed, unlike the one who decided to confess, she was not up to philosophical understanding of what had happened. And yet - only she herself decides how to behave now that her husband is in the know, writes Horoscope.ru.

Indeed, no one knows you or your relationship with your husband better than you. In any case, keep in mind: since your relationship has ceased to be a secret - and, according to statistics, every fourth adultery becomes obvious - you, most likely, are not destined for tender tears of tender reconciliation. You can be sure that it is not easy for your husband to think that a horned woman and a dearly beloved wife are one person.

And even on the condition that he forgives you, it will not be the same as before. After all, you really revised and changed something - in yourself or in your relationship, so why cling to the image of the good girl that you were before the betrayal? It's pointless. Naturally. You want to return to a calm and prosperous life. But is it worth trying to completely cross out what happened? Maybe the end of a cloudless life together- a serious reason to start building a new relationship between two adults together loving people! Think about it if what happened has already happened.

Take time out, don't try to come up with an explanation on the go, hastily throwing on a dressing gown. It is better to calmly and clearly explain to your husband that you will be ready to talk with him a little later, and as soon as possible stop the painful pictures of contemplation for him of you and your lover in one place. Separate for a while, let the initial, sometimes unbearable pain subside, and both of you will begin to think soberly and be able to reason logically.

“We have been together for more than ten years, and he is my first and only love. But recently he accused me of cheating on him with a guy. I explained to him that this is not so, but he does not believe me and does not even want to listen. What should I do? I've already tried everything."

We don't know how you reacted to these accusations. But very often people who are slandered say something like: "It's so absurd that I don't even want to talk about it." Or: "Come on, this is just ridiculous." It hurts and hurts when you are accused of what you did not do, and at the same time we are worried because our close person upset for no reason. And we don't like to discuss it. In addition, we think that if we start making excuses, we will only bring on ourselves even more suspicions.

But if you shrug your shoulders and try to brush it off, he will think: “Yes, yes, this is how unfaithful spouses act. She doesn't listen to me. She doesn't take me seriously."

You can't prove your innocence to your husband. But it is in your power to remind him how much you value him and how important his feelings are to you.

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“You cannot prove your innocence to your husband. But it is in your power to remind him how much you value him and how important his feelings are to you.

Place him in front of you. Tell him that you love him very much and that his distrust hurts you. That you have nothing to hide. That you want to hear all his suspicions in detail, to explain to him how things really are, and to help him understand that his fears are groundless.

Say that you really want to understand what made him think that way. Perhaps it seemed to your spouse that you had cooled off towards him and began to devote less time and attention to your relationship?

Start a conversation at a time when you have a few free hours for it. Invite your other half to ask you any question that worries him. Answer him, ask your questions. Be careful and patient. If he is afraid of losing you, help him deal with this fear.

Sometimes the suspicions smoldering in the darkness of our subconscious evaporate as soon as they are voiced.

Many young women google similar queries. And they can be understood: most men are simply terrified of the betrayal of their wife. Some of them do not sleep at night, but keep looking out (or even sniffing out) whether there are any traces / evidence of infidelity on the body of the spouse. They even look into intimate places and secretly take smears for a subsequent check on the flora. And besides, they search the Internet with requests “how to check the fidelity of a wife”, “how to take a wife to show off”, how to split, breed and force them to confess to treason. And some harass their wives with their suspicions until they lose their pulse!

But the smart-beauty who has seen the views, who have passed the "Crimea and Rym", have long known a few simple but effective rules.
1. Don't confess.
2. Don't confess to anything.
3. Never confess.
4. Do not confess, even if you are caught at the crime scene.
5. Never make excuses, attack yourself:
“And what are you, a goat, holding a candle?”
"Do not worry. When I change, I'll tell you first"
"What are you doing to get on my nerves? Hire a detective and check, ”Etc.

In no case should you respond to threats / persuasion or succumb to provocations. Like, the betrayal of his wife excites him, the wife would not want to try a threesome, swing and other crap. But a letter was thrown to him (wrote to the mail / contact), etc.

Clever beauty! If your husband also suffers from arch suspicion, send him to read the Tetcorax blog, which describes how to detect your horns. Fast, accurate and hassle free. And don't hurt your wife. Otherwise, he can easily get sick with erotophobia. And in such patients potency quickly disappears. Do you need it?

Summarizing this post “for all occasions”, the blogger notes:

You should not confess to anything, no matter how you are forced to do so. Do not fall for persuasion, such as, “Confess, confess - and we will forgive you everything ...” This is a primitive hook that catches a sucker. Your confessions will quickly turn into evidence - and that's it, you're caught! You can't take back the words.

Here is an example that "entered all textbooks" on forensic science.

An Englishman named Ryan Brant killed his wife and buried her in his garden. (Your house has a significant advantage over an apartment, because you can get rid of a corpse by simply burying it right in your yard! 🙂) Then he moved out, and for 23 years no one knew about it. However, in his former home there was another crime, during the investigation of which the police dug up a female skull. They also turned to Ryan, they say, can he report something on this fact? Well, he confessed with a fright! Later, the examination found that the found skull was about 1500 years old and belonged to an ancient Roman woman! Oh how!

However, the train has already left! The police began to look for evidence on Ryan and dig further! And I dug up the remains of his wife... I got a life sentence... And I would have said: "I don't know," and would have remained at large. It happened in 1984.

Total!

Do not give in to persuasion, do not admit to your misdeeds and do not apologize for what you did not do!

On the topic of adultery, it is useful to read articles:
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Caught cheating, what to do?

Deny or confess? How to perceive a love story? Like a drama or like an average life event? The Russian American VLADIMIR PAPERNY reflects on two types of behavior and worldview.

The beginning is almost from The Great Gatsby. When I was younger and much more vulnerable, I was given advice that I followed for many years until I was convinced of its absolute destructiveness. - If you, for example, cheated on your wife, - one great Russian writer told me, - and the wife knows this, but no one says anything out loud, then this, as it were, does not exist. Then it can be experienced. But if you ran to give up, confessed everything, then she can’t get away from this confession. It has become a fact. Even worse, if you wrote her about it in a letter, a document appeared. And if you wrote and printed, then that's all. Death. The opinion of this writer was law for me then, so I conscientiously changed, never confessed, tried not to write it down, if I wrote it down, then I destroyed it, and if I didn’t destroy it, then I didn’t print it, and if I did print it, I changed names and situations. Thus, I safely destroyed my family - and at the same time several strangers. There is something to remember.

My birthday. I am at work. A wife and guests are waiting at home. One of my favorite women just called me and said that she will come to work with me with a gift, and then we will go somewhere. This is a problem: another beloved woman is already coming to me, and we must meet at the flower bed before work. We must not miss the beloved woman number two, but so that the beloved woman number one does not notice us. I hide behind a bush, number two appears, I quickly take her away and out of the corner of my eye I see that number one is walking around the flower bed, confused. Victory: She didn't see us. We go to the cinema to watch "Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors". When they ask me later about it, I answer that the film is weak: I can’t remember literally a single episode. After the movie we go to her house. Husband at home While the husband is talking on the phone, we manage to run into the bathroom and somehow make love. The main thing is participation, as our physical education teacher says.

I come home at eleven in the evening, the guests have been waiting for me since eight. I explain that these idiots from the academic council again arranged an evening meeting, and since my project was being discussed, it was impossible to escape. They pity me, they admire me. The guests leave. My wife and I lie silently in the dark. - You really were on the academic council? - Truth. Long pause. - By the way, I called, and your secretary said that everyone left at seven. “Sorry,” I say, “I told you a lie. I didn't mean to upset you. Something unpleasant has happened. The thing is... The thing is, my first wife called me and said that she needed to meet me urgently. - Olya? - Yes. - But you said that everything is over with you a long time ago? That's why I agreed to meet her. That's why I decided not to say anything to you, so as not to hurt you. She said she wanted me to go back to her. I said it's impossible, that I love you and I can never leave you. - This is true? - Truth. The wife lies silent and motionless for a long time.

Then slowly turns to me and we start making love. Four years later I came to America and there I encountered a completely different philosophy of life, which was a discovery for me that changed my whole style of behavior. In its simplest form, the idea was put forward by someone named David Wiskot, who ran radio psychoanalysis sessions in Los Angeles. “All marital problems and mental illness,” he said, “come from unspoken negative emotions. Here is a typical situation. The husband told a joke, say, about fat men. The wife, for example, thinks that she is too fat. “Oh my God,” the wife thinks, “he wants to let me know that he is fat and ugly. The main thing is not to show it, otherwise he will see my vulnerability and then peck me.” The wife makes heroic efforts, smiles, after five minutes the pain goes away, and everything seems to be fine again. In fact, says Wiskot, the pain just went inside. A few more such episodes, the pain imperceptibly accumulates, and then an explosion occurs.

The husband utters a meaningless phrase, and the wife suddenly falls into hysterics, and then all past grievances splash out of her: you always tried to show me that I was ugly, you never loved me ... The husband is at a loss. The scandal ends with reconciliation, and everything is fine again - until the next scandal. A few more such scandals, and the family breaks up. If a person close to you - husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter - did something that hurt you, - Wiskot teaches, - you have exactly forty seconds to start yelling: - This hurts! Please don't ever say such things! “Forgive me, please,” the husband says in this case. - I had no idea that it could hurt you. Never again will I say anything like that. All. Problem solved. The pain was eliminated without consequences. According to the American theory, it is impossible to cheat on a wife (husband, mistress), not because she can find out, and not only because it will hurt her, but because it will create negative emotions unspoken aloud. According to this logic, if the husband nevertheless cheated on his wife, and at the same time his own mental health is dear to him, he must have time to inform his wife about this within forty seconds. It is not clear, however, from what moment to start counting seconds. Now, from the field of adultery, let's move on for a moment to the history of culture. Both the Russian and the American idea of relationships come from the sinfulness of man. Man is initially a dirty animal, and purification can only come from above. How to get this purification, Russia and America understand differently.

In Russia there is a tradition of hesychasm. To achieve revelation, one must turn off the mind completely and bring oneself into a state of ecstasy, for example, endlessly repeating the words of a prayer. How does this relate to cheating on his wife? Very simple. Distrust of reason leads to a special understanding of the truth. Cheating on his wife is a low truth. To forget about this low truth and come to a high truth, you just need to bring yourself into a state of ecstasy, if not with the help of prayer, then at least with the help of alcohol or simply inspired lies. In America it's different. The English Puritans who sailed here on the Mayflower and landed on Plymouth Rock were Calvinists. They, as befits Calvinists, did not trust any systems and theories (since only God can create systems and theories), but trusted only the individual contract of a person with God. The contract has become the main form of relationship in America. From personal experience. I invite a charming artist from the company where I work to the cinema. After the movie, she invites you to come to her house. - If you, in principle, are going to have sex with me, - she says, - then you will have to run into a nearby supermarket and buy condoms, unless, of course, you have them with you. And secondly, I like to sleep alone, so then you will go home. 0 "kay? I'm delighted: what simplicity, what clarity, no problems. From the experience of one friend. The boy was brought to America from Russia at the age of ten, and all his sexual experience took place there. Then he had a chance to go to his historical homeland and chat with Russian women. - Well, how was it? - Terrible, - he says. - Solid affectation, theatricality and anguish. There is another reaction. Here is the testimony of three Russian women who lived in America for a long time. All three were married and Russians and the Americans, but they believe that they will not have any more relations with the Americans. Why? All three, independently of each other, give the same verbatim answer: - They do not have a sense of drama. On the one hand, there is not enough drama On the other hand, there are too many of them.

This is the clash of Hesychasm with Puritanism. Any relationship in America automatically becomes a contract - oral, written or implied. In Russia, on the contrary, every contract becomes a relationship, something like a canvas for theatrical improvisation. Which of these two models is better? With the same success, one can ask who is better - Armenians or Georgians, who is stronger - an elephant or a whale, or from which end an egg should be broken - from a sharp or blunt one. These are all matters of individual choice. Having lived in America for eighteen years, I certainly prefer a puritanical contract to a hesychast drama. The contract greatly simplifies life and minimizes situations of awkwardness. Everything can (and should) be asked out loud. Everything can be negotiated.

No need to make assumptions. You don't have to worry about guessing. Who among us will pay for the gas? - In what position do you prefer to have sex? Until what time are you inviting me to your birthday party? - If we live together, who will wash the dishes? - Is the neck your erogenous zone? - Will we be faithful to each other when I leave for Los Angeles? - How much to buy a gift? - Did you manage to experience an orgasm? How easy and comfortable the Puritan ethic makes life. But there is one oddity. With a woman who has this ethic, one can make wonderful friends, do business, sports, have sex, travel, raise children, attend symphony concerts, baseball games. Only one is impossible. It's impossible to fall in love with her. You can't lose your head over it. You can't do crazy things for her. I'm like a man who, as in the old joke, was locked in a closet with French perfume:

If today there was a female version of the dictionary with interpretations of Ozhegov's concepts, then, of course, opposite the definition of "treason" would be bold, weighty Why? The fact is that the girls in reality in this regard, everything is ambiguous. Did you find out that your wife is cheating? What to do? Is there any way to prevent such a ridiculous awkwardness? For these and other no less interesting questions you can find the answers in the process of familiarizing yourself with the materials of this article.

What is considered a change?

Before considering the question of how to catch your wife cheating, it would be appropriate to analyze the term itself. The fact is that today there is no (apparently, in the future, too, is not expected) consensus on what can be attributed to treason. Directly the fact of connection with another man? Or a kiss? Or phone sex?

That is why it would be best to narrow the boundaries somewhat and discuss the signs of a newly formed novel on the side. How to catch your wife cheating? The question is not easy, but lifting. If from time to time you have an incomprehensible feeling that something is going wrong, it would be advisable to use a very interesting cheat sheet. She will definitely help you figure out who is deceiving you: a friend or a premonition? If in more than three of the above points you recognize your wife or girlfriend, you will have to admit such an undesirable fact: she has begun a new affair on the side.

No claims!

How to catch your wife cheating? Her first "symptom" is that the woman suddenly stops digging into the man. For some incomprehensible reason, she suddenly stops throwing scenes of jealousy, bitching, paying attention to the barbaric habit of a man, for example, picking his teeth with a screwdriver or trash cans that are not taken out.

How to recognize cheating wife? Of course, a man can happily assume that it was not in vain that he choked on paper under the New Year's chimes - and the wish finally came true. However, it is much more logical to explain such complaisant behavior by the fact that the focus of the woman's attention changed in a certain way, and she simply stopped paying attention to her (most likely already ex) man.

You may not even know about it!

By the way, a man may not be aware of events. Often a woman harasses him with claims, nags, and also expresses her own dissatisfaction, even if there are no good reasons for this, not at all because she is a hysteric and sadist. No need to laugh, but this is due to the fact that she clings to her man, loves very much and does not want to ever stop loving him because of absolute platitudes. By the way, in the female language, this is called "the struggle for relationships."

How to convict your wife of cheating in a conversation? Now, when her affair with another man is just flaring up, the woman has not yet had time to get entangled in unreliable alibis, break firewood and finally wallow in debauchery and lies. She is not at all ashamed - rather, on the contrary, it is good and fun. Finally, she feels interesting and alive. That is why her speech acquires lightness, immediacy and, it would seem, sincere purity. The only thing is that at the stage described, she doesn’t care about her man (everything suggests that former man) and to what is going on around.

What then?

How to convict a wife of treason? Spy things are not needed here, it is enough just to catch the very ignorance on the part of a woman. By the way, a little later this complaisance and spontaneity are replaced by anger. Why? The fact is that she begins to be tormented by remorse.

By the way, perhaps it is the man who will be accused of treason. It's like protective mask, a ridiculous excuse for his unworthy behavior. However, it will come later. So far, there has been a blissful calm. And men should think about the fact that such circumstances should, at least, be alarming.

New girlfriends

How to understand that the wife is cheating? The second sign of infidelity is the emergence of new girlfriends. It was a long time ago that she had no one to go to a cafe or a movie with. Now, almost all the evenings of the week are occupied by incomprehensible Irishkas, Nadenkas and Olenkas. By the way, most likely, this is not a cafe at all, but a room booked in advance at the hotel. In addition, she is not with Olenka, but with some Eduard Venediktovich.

How to catch your wife cheating? It is important to note that these may actually be new girlfriends. The fact is that the old guard, most likely, will not praise her for Eduard Venediktovich, especially if your couple was formed a long time ago. Surely, her old friends have already come to terms with your candidacy and, most likely, began to sympathize with the couple in general.

How to recognize cheating wife? It is quite logical that she is unlikely to pay attention to male absences with friends and all kinds of business trips. By the way, most likely, she will even like it.

She looks great

How to catch your wife cheating? The third sign of infidelity is that a woman is sure to get prettier. blush on the cheeks, a mountain of new dresses and shoes - all this is simple and obvious, like naval pasta. By the way, dresses are, of course, good, but when a woman begins to pay close attention to what is under these dresses, it is worth considering.

It is important to note that this does not mean at all that girls are taken to do pedicures and deep hair removal, pierce the navel and buy a lot of vicious lace only when they have a lover. However, it is worth agreeing that the relationship between a man and a woman, who have been living together for a long time, is to a certain extent colored by the everyday plan of promiscuity.

It is a completely different matter if the fair sex is in the midst of a new romance. It is then that she is fully armed around the clock. It can be concluded that the life of an unfaithful wife is nothing but a continuous impromptu and challenge.

Other behavior

How to catch your wife cheating? The next sign that speaks of the wife's misbehavior is that she behaves and talks in a different way. By the way, one of the main symptoms of the presence in a woman's life of a new gentleman and the seriousness of his intentions is the sudden change in the direction of her interests and passions. In addition, in the event of the appearance of a new man, her vocabulary is significantly replenished due to new words.

In short, a man must be in considerable tension if his wife suddenly begins to argue that crucian carp is best caught in windy weather and barley when he is completely sure that she has never been interested in fishing and is very far from this topic.

Sex with a cheater

By the way, traces of someone else's influence often appear in an intimate relationship with a spouse. Today there is an opinion that a cheating wife eludes her marital duty with all her might. However, this does not happen to everyone and not always.

On the contrary, a woman who is on a spree may deliberately pay increased attention to her husband in an erotic way in order to reduce his level of vigilance. No wonder they say that a satisfied man is an inexperienced man.

Does she always have a phone in her hands?

How to catch your wife cheating on the phone? Of course, you can inadvertently call and start asking leading questions when there are suspicions about her being near her lover. However, today, when social networks and other communication mechanisms, everything has become much easier.

An unfaithful woman, most likely, wants to spend absolutely all her free time next to a new man, but she cannot always afford it, in accordance with very obvious reasons. That is why the cheater seeks opportunities to maintain communication, even if it is virtually. Thus, from now on, and perhaps forever, laptop and phone become best friends women.

Whenever you look at her, she always looks at the screen with a loving (and therefore somewhat stupid) smile and at the same time blushes pink, and then says that she is performing a very important work function or is developing an incredibly serious conversation with a friend.

It is important to note that the main commandment of the traitor is the exclusion of leaving evidence, getting rid of compromising messages and ruthlessly erasing the history of correspondence. However, this commandment is often ignored by unfaithful representatives of the fair sex. Surely, she knows that getting caught on this is easy and simple. However, the somewhat vague prospect of being exposed is nothing compared to that wonderful opportunity to reread it several times a day, how much they miss it and how they want it.

It is clear that with all her might she will try to protect her own personal life from the sudden intrusion of her husband by setting passwords on the computer and phone, entering social networks exclusively from her laptop, and also locking her own devices in the closet. That is why a completely harmless request on the part of her husband to use her tablet or phone can bring the traitor to a heart attack.

Now you know the main signs of infidelity. But do not bring your observations to paranoia. Perhaps the wife is just preparing a gift for you or she has made new friends.