The upbringing of children 10-12 years old should take into account the psychological characteristics of the period, as well as with the appearance in the child of a sense of independence. During this period, puberty begins, which seriously affects the behavior of a teenager.

At the age of 11, children experience the peak of emotional instability, and the behavior of adults towards them should be especially careful, but at the same time firm.

Mistakes in upbringing in the period from 10 to 12 years lead to serious psychological problems in the period of older adolescence, which lasts from 13 to 15-16 years.

Features of children at 10-12 years old

1. The child is more and more drawn to peers. Boys and girls prefer to be friends with children of the same gender. The emerging interest in the opposite sex remains hidden for the time being and outwardly sometimes manifests itself only as small aggressive attacks (mockery, pushing, name-calling, etc.)
2. The motor activity of the child increases: he walks a lot and quickly, runs. The distance that children cover at 10-12 years old and their speed doubles compared to the previous age period.
3. Children develop stable interests that often last a lifetime. They can be connected both with the choice of a future profession, and with a hobby.
4. Children become even more curious, want to know everything about everything, actively absorb information from different sources. The child is interested in the conversations of adults. Of course, he does not understand everything, but he listens, observes their behavior and communication style, reflects, draws his own conclusions.
5. In connection with the beginning changes in physiology and psychology, complexes and self-doubt may begin to appear in children at this age. Therefore, it is important to be patient, praise them for their skills, achievements and correct behavior in order to prevent a decrease in self-esteem.

Sexual development of children at 10-12 years old

Sex education is a particularly important stage in the process of personality formation. The main task falls on the parents, who should be able to prepare the teenager for what changes in his body will occur.

Girls, first of all, must be competently brought to the understanding that they will begin menstruation, which at first will be unstable and can go wrong for several months. It is not enough just to tell the child that his body has matured. The mother should explain to her daughter in detail what is happening to her. It is also necessary to teach the girl how to properly care for herself during menstruation.

Special attention should be paid to ensuring that the teenager does not see anything indecent and shameful in the change taking place in the body. It is important that the girl does not have a guilt and shame complex due to menstruation, which occurs if she is brushed aside when she wants to know about what is happening to her.

In boys, hormonal changes also begin between the ages of 10 and 12, and adolescents are faced with such a phenomenon as wet dreams. Parents need to prepare their son for this so that he does not experience shock and does not perceive what is happening as something shameful, requiring constant concealment. It is better that the father conducts the conversation, as in this case the boy will be less shy. At the same time, if the son is in a more trusting relationship with his mother, it is better for her to talk to him.

Conducting sexual education of a child at the age of 10-12, one must take into account the fact that talking about puberty always causes embarrassment in children. You can not make fun of a son or daughter or somehow, even without malice, humiliate them. A teenager must understand that, despite adult sexual manifestations, his body is not yet ready for procreation. Before that, it should be fully formed.

In the same period, it is necessary to gradually begin to explain to children about the need to comply with certain safety rules during sexual intercourse. Also at the same time it is necessary to explain that too early (before 16 years) sexual life leads to health problems, especially in girls.

The development of a child at 10-12 years old, what he should know and be able to

During the period of early adolescence, which lasts from 9.5 to 12-12.5 years, children move from a dependent position to an independent person who can fully take care of himself. At this age, regardless of gender, children should be able to:

• clean up the apartment;
• use a washing machine and wash small items by hand;
• cook simple meals with or without a stove;
• wash yourself and observe all necessary hygiene rules;
• wash up;
• plan your personal time and distribute tasks depending on their importance;
• stand up for your opinion and accept constructive, justified criticism;
• stand up for oneself;
• get out of awkward situations;
• accurately follow the instructions given by the parents;
• seek help from emergency services and clearly explain what is happening;
• distribute and accumulate pocket money;
• take care of pets;
• be responsible for your actions;
• look after the younger ones;
• analyze actions and their consequences.

From the age of 11, a teenager should be able to navigate in the store in the composition of products and choose them not according to the attractiveness of the packaging.

From the age of 12, children become quite independent and can be left alone at home for the whole day. At the same time, they are already able to heat or cook their own food, allocate time for work and rest.

In early adolescence, the child must fully master the school subjects. He also already knows and clearly understands that he is a person who has rights and obligations, as well as responsibility for his actions.

How to raise a child at 10-12 years old

• Be very attentive to the opinion of the child. At this age, he has his own point of view on almost everything. If you do not learn to respect his views, then in adolescence he will either respond with a violent protest at attempts to “shut him up”, or close in on himself and stop expressing his opinion, which is no less dangerous.
• Try not to use harsh phrases when communicating with your child, do not be overly categorical. The expressions “I forbid you”, “You are obliged”, “Because I said so!” etc. will be met by your child extremely negatively and will only cause resistance. If you think his behavior is inappropriate or you do not like one of his friends, say so calmly, argue your point of view (get used to doing this all the time), and express your feelings. Be sure to listen to your child.
• Do not hide your fears and concerns for the child under the mask of severity and inflexibility. Openness and sincerity in communicating with him will help maintain a warm trusting relationship between you.
• Pay attention to what your child is interested in at this age, in order to contribute to his inclusion in a particular activity. By the beginning of adolescence, your child should have one or more useful hobbies (creative or sports), then it is easier to direct his energy in the right direction.
• Your ability to trust your child begins to play an increasingly important role. Demonstrate with all your behavior that you do not doubt him, provide a reasonable degree of independence and initiative, designate his area of ​​​​responsibility. You cannot forbid children to want to become adults, but it is important to show that this is not so easy.
• Accept the child as he is, do not compare with others. He needs to feel loved and protected no matter what the conditions.
• Create conditions for confidential conversations with your child. If you want him to communicate more with you, do not build a conversation in the form of an interrogation, that is, do not use many questions at once that require one-word answers ("yes" or "no"). Ask the child how his day went, what he learned new, what he thinks about any phenomenon, etc. It is open questions that stimulate communication. Remember that before bed, children are more inclined to sincere conversation, and use this time to show tenderness and kindness.
• Always maintain eye contact when talking to your child. And don't forget the importance of touch. Supportive hugs help you feel accepted and protected.

When educating relatives and teachers, one should take into account the psychological state of the teenager and the fact that he goes through a period of self-determination and the development of independence. The experiences associated with puberty are also taken into account.

Children need to be supported in undertakings and showing initiative. You can not be treated with irony or disrespect for personality and appearance. This age period instills a lot of complexes with improper behavior on the part of parents.

Relatives should not put pressure on a teenager and force him to accept their opinion, regardless of his own. A son or daughter should be able to express their views and, according to individual preferences, choose their own clothes and hobbies (if they are not dangerous).

1. Do not resist the manifestation of their emotions. In order not to lose contact with children at the moment of emotional instability, when they react to everything excessively violently and defiantly, and tantrums can suit prohibitions, one must not resist the manifestations of their emotions. After a surge that finds no barriers, the children are ready for a constructive conversation, as they do not feel opposition from adults and the need to fight for interests. They realize that a calm conversation with reasoned arguments gives a lot more.
2. A place for freedom. Control over the lives of children in a number of areas should be weakened. You should not strictly dictate what clothes to wear (you can only express your opinion, but without using guilt-inducing words: “well”, “your business”, “whatever you want” and “I don’t like it”). For example, if you want to convince a growing daughter that the dress she chose does not suit her, it is better to do this by explaining that it hides her strengths and creates the effect of non-existent flaws.
3. Appropriate appraisal. Parents should not underestimate or overestimate the external data of children. Both will cause complexes. It is necessary not to poke at the shortcomings, but in a mild form to show the teenager what weaknesses he has in appearance, and how they can be hidden or even turned into advantages, characterizing them as an individual feature.

The daily routine of a child at 10-12 years old

Compliance with the strict implementation of the daily regimen is difficult, since at this age adolescent independence begins to manifest itself. During this period, parents must make compromises to maintain the correct rhythm of the day in children. It is also necessary not only to indicate when and what to do, but should, with reasonable arguments, explain to the son or daughter why this is necessary and how not following the schedule will harm them.

It is also necessary to allow the teenager to experience the disadvantages of violations. For example, if he sat in front of a TV or computer until late at night, then in the morning he will not be able to easily wake up to school, and during the day he will suffer from poor health. Faced with this, it is unlikely that you will want to repeat the mistake.

Classes with a child 10-12 years old

In early adolescence, awareness of one's interests and abilities begins. Children develop inclinations for creativity or abilities for the exact sciences, as well as sports. Classes should become, as it were, the interaction of two personalities, in which one does not dominate the other. Parents help to learn new skills and support children in this, but do not do everything for them, allowing them to overcome difficulties and feel satisfaction that they succeeded.

Games and toys for children aged 10-12

Toys that interested children at an early age turn into the quality of guarded and carefully kept talismans, which they do not part with, but do not play with them anymore. For boys and girls, complex puzzles, radio-controlled models, logic board games and computer games become the main toys.

The latter should not be forbidden, as this will only lead to their becoming especially desirable. However, it is necessary to dose the time spent at the monitor, organizing for the child no less exciting pastime, preferably with a sports bias.

Any toys should be bought only with the interests of the teenager in mind, so that they do not become a disappointment. In most cases, children want to receive various sports equipment as a gift.

When raising a boy or a girl, relatives need to first analyze their behavior. It should be aimed at the formation of an independent and full-fledged personality, and not at manipulating the child in order to keep him around him.

Often, parents unconsciously try to instill in their children a sense of guilt and duty to them, which, in their opinion, can save their sons and daughters from mistakes and disappointments. As a result of such an illiterate approach, they only achieve that children either acquire a mass of complexes and cannot live fully, or break off relations with loved ones as early as possible, wanting to finally become a person.