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The transitional stage between childhood and adulthood is sometimes not easy for both the child and the parents. It starts at 12-14 years old and ends at 15-17 years old. Once calm boys and girls can completely change their behavior, become uncontrollable, do everything out of spite. What drives them? The psychology of a teenager explains in detail what problems arise at this age, and how to make sure that the child passes this period as calmly as possible.

What is adolescent psychology

The term can be interpreted from two points of view. In the first formulation, we are talking about science that studies the behavior of boys and girls aged 12-17. The second formulation implies directly the essence of this doctrine - the age-related feature of behavior, mental processes. This is a phenomenon that can occur in every growing little man, but it is not necessary. Parents should be patient, create a series of iron rules for themselves and the child and not think that the child will remain so uncontrollable for life.

Age features of adolescents 13-14 years old

With the start of this period (for someone earlier, for someone later), significant physical changes occur in the body: puberty begins. Restructuring in the body frightens many, causes inconvenience, and sometimes can cause ridicule from peers (for example, with shortcomings in the figure, the appearance of acne, involuntary erection). It leaves its imprint on the immature psyche. Modern teenagers feel adult love, begin to show sexual activity.

Physical maturation affects nervous activity. Boys and girls aged 13-14 have a special psychology: excitation processes prevail over inhibition. This entails a worsening of the reaction, temporary difficulties in the formation of conditioned reflexes. Adolescents have very emotional communication, mental imbalance due to experiences. The imagination is highly developed: the child experiences the same feelings until he outlives his inner torment.

Teenage Issues

When a child enters the age of 12-15, the psychology changes. The main problems that cause inconvenience to others (but not to the teenager himself):

1. Gadget obsession. Electronic devices replace the real world, affect self-development, do not leave time for help around the house, study.
2. Hostility towards parents. Boys and girls begin to be rude, behave disrespectfully, ignore the rules.
3. Lie. Behind her is the fear of being judged, scolded or punished, because a teenager often violates the established rules.
4. Late arrivals home. The child tests limits, deliberately violates time limits.
5. Friendship with bad company. The kid thinks those guys are cool, so he wants to be the same.
6. Drinking alcohol, drugs, smoking. A difficult teenager seeks to rise above others, to experience new sensations.

Psychological problems of adolescents

The main difficulties are connected with contradictions in the needs of a boy or a girl. The psychology of adolescence suggests that an internal conflict arises: the desire for isolation and socialization. The child seeks his autonomy, goes through the process of personal self-determination. He zealously defends his space, beliefs, but does not understand the value of someone else's autonomy. At the same time, the teenager develops the need to join some social group other than the family. These are peers whose interests he shares.

Almost all the problems of today's teenagers stem from the conflict described above. The teenager wants self-affirmation. If something does not go as he wished, depressions, isolations arise, the child becomes secretive or protests in every possible way against the public. Gender issues fuel this state. Adolescent hypersexuality leads to active masturbation, which is accompanied by guilt, early sexual intercourse and all the consequences associated with them. Virginity can also cause anxiety.

Adolescent psychology of boys

The process of turning a boy into a guy, and then into a man, is complex. In the younger adolescence (12-14 years old), the problem is not so felt, but then it becomes more noticeable. How global it will be depends on family relationships: the participation of the mother and father (especially the father!) in the upbringing of the child. The boy pays more and more attention to girls, first love happens. If it is undivided, a teenager may experience a change in orientation - a desire for a partner of the same sex.

Psychology identifies several disturbing and exciting states of a teenager:

• anxiety about the opinions of others, their appearance;
• self-doubt;
• youthful maximalism: arrogance, categoricalness in judgments;
• polarity of the psyche: a combination of isolation and sociability, cynicism and daydreaming, arrogance and shyness;
• the desire to obtain maximum information on the issue of interest.

Teenage psychology of girls

Behavioral features are almost the same in both sexes, but the transitional age in girls comes earlier. A teenager is easy to laugh or make cry, praise or criticism is taken very close to the heart. Girls are developing self-awareness. The need for psychological intimacy, mutual understanding is stronger for them than for boys. Often, teenagers fall in love with handsome men from TV, adult men. Girls develop ideals and authorities, they strive to imitate them.

identity crisis

Erik Erickson coined the term "identity crisis", which is closely related to the crisis of the meaning of life. In adolescence, personal self-determination takes place. A young person faces a difficult task, which is a stage of growing up: he needs to understand his role as a member of society and his own unique characteristics and interests. A teenager acquires a social status, undergoes adaptation in an adult environment, acquires a new way of thinking.

A guy or a girl is in the process of becoming his "I" in terms of the implementation of views on life. Identity has two characteristics:

• positive: what a teenager should become;
• negative: who should not become.

social relationships

When describing this aspect, psychology identifies two different models of relationships: with adults and peers. The latter form stable social groups, which are difficult for a beginner to get into. Such associations are reference and subjectively significant for adolescents, the guy or girl accepts and shares their requirements and norms. Communication is reaching a new level, and these are not only entertaining joint games, but also common work, conversations on vital topics.

If a teenager becomes an outcast, or peers boycott him, this leads to the formation of low self-esteem, complexes, feelings of loneliness, inferiority, and even suicidal thoughts (in especially severe cases). Every childhood experience associated with peers is very deep and meaningful. All adolescents are highly sensitive to group opinion, and if it is not met, then fears arise.

It is already more difficult for an older child to communicate with adults. Great demands are put forward to him, which is accompanied by resistance. A special role in this period is assigned to the influence of the family. Prosperous relationships between parents and moderate pressure on a teenager become decisive in choosing a behavior model. However, the instability of the psyche creates certain difficulties in communicating with adults, leads to periodic protests.

Behavior of a 14 year old

During this period, the cognitive sphere changes, which leaves an imprint on behavior. The psychology of adolescents speaks of the emergence of a phantom feeling of adulthood, independence. The young man wants to show in every possible way that he is already an adult, but, in fact, he remains a child. Older teenagers make contacts with the family weaker, isolate their "I". For the first time there are serious thoughts about the future profession. Phantom adulthood, as it were, empowers young children to engage in prohibited and undesirable actions: smoking, drinking alcohol, and having sexual intercourse.

How to talk to a teenager

Parents in the transitional age of the child is no less difficult. Careless words, thoughtless actions can harm a fragile psyche. A few rules of communication with a teenager:

• Do not criticize appearance. Even if not everything is perfect, together you will correct the flaws.
• Be attentive to the child. Ask how you're doing. If you don't like the behavior, don't judge it outright. In a roundabout way or by your own example, you can offer the scenario that is acceptable to you.
• Be sincerely interested in the success of the child, "global" problems with peers.
• Share your plans, listen to advice, even if they seem ridiculous. Value your child's choice.
• Get sex education. Do not be afraid of inadequate perception of information - children are already ready for new discoveries.
• Praise the child, be equal, do not be offended by mood swings and talk to him, and if he does not want this, find the right moment to talk.

What to do with a teenager

Teenagers are the most addicted people. They do a little of everything. It is important for parents to discover the potential of the child and let him open up. It is advisable to do this at an earlier age - 5-6 years. The most interesting activities for teenagers:

• Physical culture: basketball, volleyball, football. Young men enjoy playing these games and throwing out their energy.
• Collective hobbies, collecting. Fold stamps, photos of idols, calendars, bright toys.
• Designing, creating objects with your own hands. Young guys love to make models, assemble complex figures from the designer, and experiment with papier-mâché.
• Visits to youth organizations. There are special associations where teenagers gather and communicate according to their interests under the supervision of psychologists, and undergo trainings. In Moscow, these are the Empathy School of Practical Psychology, the PsiLiner Educational Assistance Center.
• Changes in appearance. Pick up a cool wardrobe for the boy, take the girl for a manicure, master classes in makeup, skin care. Get a trendy haircut.

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